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I was surprised that yesterday’s post solved a months-long mystery for me, so maybe I need to be paging the Internet oracle more often. Did my 5th grade crush Dave Gryder ever see past my coke-bottle glasses and horrific orthodontic situation to the the potential girlfriend material that was underneath? Whatever happened to my awesome, comfy black-and-white striped Gap shirt that seemingly disappeared into thin air a couple years ago? How could Adam Sandler make a movie like Punch Drunk Love, then go on to systematically churn out an endless stream of cinematic diarrhea ever since?

Actually, here’s a real question for you: what can I be doing to help my kid stay dry through the night? I’m, ah, talking about the older child, and I’m sorry to potentially embarrass him here but my need for assistance is currently trumping my concern for his someday-privacy. I’ve tried restricting what he drinks in the evening, and we’ve tried waking him up before we go to bed, but the problem is that he sleeps like a log. I mean, it’s nearly impossible to get him up, and when we do, he sleep-walks to the bathroom and bangs into walls and is terribly confused and disoriented and the whole thing is pretty inefficient, if you know what I mean, and I’m also convinced that’s what’s causing the issue. His body isn’t waking him up because his brain is like SNNNZZZZZZZZZ: 404 FILE NOT FOUND.

Anyway, if you’ve dealt with a heavy sleeper, I’d love to hear any thoughts on how to keep them from peacefully whizzing throughout the night.

In other news, Dylan looks like this:

We were picking Riley up from school and like he always does, Dylan went running full-speed to give Riley a huge bear hug (this is ridiculously cute, by the way), and something happened where his feet were all HEY LET’S ALL GO IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS and blam. Face, meet cement. Oh, this kid.

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• Stuff I Like:

  Eureka Enviro Floor Steamer. Why did I not buy this YEARS ago? WHY? OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED. Neutrogena Healthy Skin Clear Skin Cream. Maaaajor difference in my skin since I started using this. I alternate with Pond's so my face doesn't get too dried out. Magic Bullet. I use this almost every single day to make a smoothie. Really a surprisingly awesome little kitchen tool. Neutrogena Revitalizing Lip Balm. Amazing lip balm that gives natural color and somehow makes your lips look more full. Voluspa Candle. Discovered via Jennie. These candles smell wonderful (at least the Goji/Orange scent does), and I love the pretty tin. NARS Flamenco Lipstick. Whoorl was right, this is the perfect red lipstick.