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Nov
30
I was surprised that yesterday’s post solved a months-long mystery for me, so maybe I need to be paging the Internet oracle more often. Did my 5th grade crush Dave Gryder ever see past my coke-bottle glasses and horrific orthodontic situation to the the potential girlfriend material that was underneath? Whatever happened to my awesome, comfy black-and-white striped Gap shirt that seemingly disappeared into thin air a couple years ago? How could Adam Sandler make a movie like Punch Drunk Love, then go on to systematically churn out an endless stream of cinematic diarrhea ever since?
Actually, here’s a real question for you: what can I be doing to help my kid stay dry through the night? I’m, ah, talking about the older child, and I’m sorry to potentially embarrass him here but my need for assistance is currently trumping my concern for his someday-privacy. I’ve tried restricting what he drinks in the evening, and we’ve tried waking him up before we go to bed, but the problem is that he sleeps like a log. I mean, it’s nearly impossible to get him up, and when we do, he sleep-walks to the bathroom and bangs into walls and is terribly confused and disoriented and the whole thing is pretty inefficient, if you know what I mean, and I’m also convinced that’s what’s causing the issue. His body isn’t waking him up because his brain is like SNNNZZZZZZZZZ: 404 FILE NOT FOUND.
Anyway, if you’ve dealt with a heavy sleeper, I’d love to hear any thoughts on how to keep them from peacefully whizzing throughout the night.
In other news, Dylan looks like this:
We were picking Riley up from school and like he always does, Dylan went running full-speed to give Riley a huge bear hug (this is ridiculously cute, by the way), and something happened where his feet were all HEY LET’S ALL GO IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS and blam. Face, meet cement. Oh, this kid.
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86 Responses to “Night moves”
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I’m dealing with a child (5) who still wets the bed at night. He sounds exactly the same as yours. I heard somewhere that at some point their bodies start releasing a chemical and BAM, no more peeing the bed at night. That could all be horseshit though and I’m too lazy to research it myself.
I figure it will happen at some point and I’m tired of pulling my hair out.
My pediatrician said the same thing as Heather says above: it’s an actual hormonal change that causes the body to produce less urine at night and allow kids to stay dry.
Is there anything you’re worried about with just continuing to use Pull-ups? Eventually he’ll get it, and I personally will use those as long as it prevents washing pee laundry night after night!!!
P.S. My kids do that whole running hug thing too and about 50% of the time topple over. No injuries quite like that though ;)
My little brother wet the bed for a long time. And if I remember correctly, it just stopped on its own. I don’t think my parents were doing anything in particular.
I remember once being at a donut place when we were staying with my aunt. My brother only got this incredibly small pop while everyone else got a normal kid sized. Then my cousin picked on him and laughed at his itty bitty pop. It made me sad. He probably got what he deserved because my brother was sharing his bed on that visit!
My kid will be 6 in April and he sounds exactly like Riley: sleeps like a log, walks into things when we wake him up to pee, etc. We’ve done the same things as you to no avail; his pull-up is full to the leaking point every single morning. I read somewhere that this is more common with boys, often runs in families, and that 10% of kids at this age still require pull-ups. My strategy now is just to wait it out. Eventually I figure he’ll sleep less like a log and wake up enough at night to go to the bathroom. So I’m just gritting my teeth every time I have to buy pull-ups and trusting that it will eventually work out.
(But I’ll be reading these comments closely to see if there are other ideas that I haven’t tried yet.)
This was my little sister, and I use her as an example so often that when she is around my mom-friends, she cringes when this stuff comes up.
She slept in such a deep state of REM that she just didn’t wake up to pee. My parents finally bought this alarm that the doctor recommended. It was a sensor that went in her panties and when she started to pee it beeped like a freaking alarm clock, and she woke up to go to the bathroom. I remember it vividly because THREE of us sisters shared a room.
She said it was not traumatic, and it took a month or so, and it worked.
For the record, she lived with me for a year while she was in college – and she STILL sleeps like a freaking log. Her room was next to the newborn’s and she NEVER woke up.
My goddaughter had that problem. Her mom would sleep walk her to the bathroom when she went to bed and her hubby did the same thing when he got up for work. It worked, but it was pretty funny/sad sight. They told me that it took a few months, but she started to get up on her own. They were thinking that she got into some type of habit. BLW: this was pre-PullUps in time.
My brother had a plastic mattress pad. He did out grow it, but would have an occasionally have accidents. I remember he had one when we were camping and he was 10. We did not even pick on him either. Mom just rinsed out the sleeping bag and hung it up to dry all day. We all knew what happened, but no one said a thing.
My oldest was/is a heavy sleeper too, and he wet the bed until he was almost 8. Every. Single. Night. That’s a lot of sheet washing and frustration. Any way, we kept telling him things like “it’s ok, kiddo. This happens to lots of kids, and whatever it is that your bladder uses to tell your brain to wake you up to pee just hasn’t finished growing yet.” We worked hard to not make him feel bad about it. We used all those homeopathic tablets and stuff, and then I bought one of those Malm bedwetting alarms on Amazon. I swear, after a couple of weeks of waking up to that shrieking alarm to get him to the bathroom, he was staying dry all night. You have to keep using the alarm for a few weeks after they are dry.
He’s almost 12 now, and he has been confidently going to sleepovers and summer camp etc. I am aware this sounds like an ad, but it really worked for my kid!
I think the thing that helps most is time. My son was the same way. What finally helped him was a tonsillectomy. He had sleep apnea caused by his ginormous tonsils, so he wasn’t getting good rest, so he would be tired and not wake up when he should have.
We also eventually had to take the GoodNights away. They just functioned too much like diapers, drawing the moisture away so he didn’t feel it. It wasn’t uncomfortable or inconvenient for him, so we felt like it was enabling the bedwetting long after it might have stopped otherwise. Once we took them away, it stopped completely within 2 weeks.
I think my brother wore pull-ups until he was seven or eight years old. (He’s now a fully functioning adult with a master’s degree from MIT and no bladder issues to speak of). He was a very heavy sleeper and lying in his own pee just didn’t bother him. Eventually he outgrew it.
I had this same problem. I slept really well and often times I would even dream I was going to the bathroom and then I would just go. So I feel for him. It wasn’t every night and I eventually just grew out of it. Sorry I don’t really have anything helpful to suggest…just commiseration. Keeping liquid intake to a minimum (and I think type is important too…when my son has had accidents is when he has juice too late in the evening) and going to the bathroom right before laying down would have been my suggestions and you are already doing that.
Oh DYLAN! Your poor face. Why does every boy this age look like that? They move too fast for their own selves.
The wet issue – he’ll outgrow it. That’s my only advice that worked effectively and my uh older one was quite a bit older than your uh older one. Keep a heavy rotation of those pads under the sheets. Sometimes I would do pad, sheet, pad, sheet, so I could get a few days with only having to pull the wet ones off without redoing the whole shabang in the night. Then he’d go a month and I’d think we were cured and HAHA I hope there are clean sheets.
If you find any of your old stuff would you help me find my gorgeous black cable sweater that I dropped in the Las Vegas airport two years ago? kthnxbai
This is probably not helpful, but my oldest son wet the bed fairly often until he was at least 8. Even now, at 10, it still happens occasionally (maybe once every few months?). Our pediatrician told us this is fairly common in boys, and my son is the hardest sleeper I have ever seen. I used to try to wake him up at night to go to the bathroom, and could never fully wake him up – one time he peed on the stairs, another time in the sink, because he just wasn’t waking up all the way. They just eventually (very gradually) outgrow it.
I have 2 kinds of bed wetters amongst my kids (yes, all but the youngest – knock on wood because it’s not too late for him to revert – have had significant issues with it, but so did both dad and I so they were doomed). My son (who sleeps very hard) can stay dry most nights – as long as he doesn’t have excessive amounts of liquid after dinner and pees at least TWICE before bed. Apparently, he doesn’t fully empty the first go ’round. My daughters seem to be more the have to outgrow it type because nothing else has worked.
The girls also have holding/urgency issues during the day, which is caused by um, hmm, constipation basically – it pushes on the bladder (much like when you’re pregnant and the baby does a jig on your bladder, as the NP urologist described it) and they have to go suddenly. I’m just now wondering if this might contribute to their night-time issues because they both randomly stay dry too.
You might try cutting down on the amount of milk he drinks. I read that there is something in milk that makes kids pee. Or something. That was a problem with which we struggled. And I tried it. It didn’t work for us, but it might work for you.
oh and those bed alarms are the devil. My husband still wakes up at midnight and 2 every dadgum night. It didn’t work for me when my parents tried it – I just slept through it. I’m thinking that getting my tonsils/adenoids out back then might have made a difference for me instead.
Linda,
I am leaving this in the comments because I am apparently too stupid to find your email. However, you need to know how much you helped my and my husband’s family over the last month. My Father in law drank himself to death recently after having secretly lost their house, land, savings and damn near everything else. Had it not been for your honesty and openness about your own struggles, I would never have understood or have been able to help the people I love through this time. It was a terrible way for a life to end, and seeing how many other lives this addiction destroyed on the way out was devastating. However, every time we found another vodka bottle or beer can hidden in the house or yard, every time we got another call from one collections agency or another, knowing that there are people out there who beat this helped. You helped.
You may never know how much your words mean to those of us out here who lurk (I’ve been reading your blog since before Riley was born), but I wanted you to know how much they have helped us. I know it’s odd, but I thank you for fighting the good fight. Seeing what alcoholism did to this man’s children and wife was heartbreaking. There are years of therapy ahead for all of them, and some things will never be fixed. It’s hard, and it’s horrible, and I am glad I had all you’ve written about your own struggles so that I could still love the man that did this and help others to do the same. You are also a wonderful writer, mother and photographer, and silly or not, I am proud of you for kicking this as much as anyone ever can.
Sincerely,
Another Mom
About twenty-five years ago, faced with the same problem, my husband and I signed up for this program that involved a system whereby the child slept half-naked on a pad and an alarm would go off when s/he started to pee (the moisture completed the circuit). That was our cue to get the child up and to the bathroom, using a cold washcloth if necessary to wake him/her up.
Let me tell you, if you think sleep deprivation is bad with newborns, this was much worse. BUT it eventually worked (or else coincided with the child outgrowing bedwetting).
Another part of the program was recording results and mailing them to a “coach”, to ensure follow-through. The program was expensive in 1985 dollars and I don’t know if anything like it is even available today. I’m curious if anyone else ever used it and what their results were.
We’re in the same boat with an almost 6yo. According to my mom, that bed wetting alarm is the only thing that worked for my uncle and my brother. He uses pull-ups (the big kid ones) now but I am now really thinking of getting the alarm — just not looking forward to it going off in the middle of the night! My mom swears that it only took about 3-5 nights for my brother to “get” it, though.
I was one of those super heavy sleepers. The alarm system worked wonders (and it took less than a month). My alarm was a pad I slept on, rather than the new-fangled clip on things they have now, but it worked like a charm. Apparently, pediatricians these days say that bedwetting isn’t really a problem until age 12. I guess they don’t consider the limitation on a normal social life (ie, sleepovers) a problem.
To this day, though, I still dream that I am getting up to go pee and have to shake myself out of it.
I’d take him to the pediatrician. If there is an identifiable medical reason, it might help you strategize. Until then, the old chucks pad, sheet, chucks pad, sheet layering system can save you from middle of the night bed-making. Only water to drink from dinner onward could be helpful too since a lot of beverages are mild diuretics.
My 7 year old is still in pullups at night….but we’re making great progress. He, too, is a really heavy sleeper and there is NO WAY he’d ever wake up to go to the bathroom when needed. Just recently we visited a pediatric urologist about a re-circumcision (grrrrr to my OB who circumcised him HALFWAY). During our visit, I mentioned that we still had bedwetting issues (EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT) and he decided that my son is “holding it” during the day. The bedwetting plus me telling him that my son had developed a “picking” issue with his privates made him 100% sure this was the problem (the picking was him needing to ‘go’ but not even realizing it – when asked he would tell you he didn’t have to go). He was so used to ‘holding it’ that he didn’t even realize when he needed to go. He thought he should go when he was about to explode rather than when he just felt the early stages of needing to ‘go’. Their office runs a clinic that deals with bedwetting/other urination issues, so they knew what they were talking about. We were told to MAKE HIM go to the bathroom every 1-2 hours. Make him go in, SIT DOWN, and just relax. He HAS TO stay the whole time and he knows that, so he won’t be temped to pee quickly and run out. He says this happens when they are in a rush to go and then get back to playing or whatever. (Personally, I know that if I’m in the bathroom reading, there if often a little more that comes out if I sit there a while). Basically, he has to retrain his body/bladder to go more often and let it all out. I can’t remember exactly how the doctor explained it, but basically he was only letting out part of the urine he was holding when he went and it was getting ‘backed up’ and it would come out at night. That doesn’t sound right exactly…..but it made a lot of sense when the doctor explained it!
It has worked very well for us. Honestly, we NEVER EVER EVER had a dry pullup (and often they even leaked through the pullups) before. Now, we probably have a wet pullup once every few weeks (and the picking his privates has COMPLETELY stopped…which was getting REALLY ANNOYING). I haven’t gotten brave enough to completely stop pullups yet because sometimes we get so busy that I know we don’t encourage the bathroom visits often enough.
Try it! Good luck.
Laura
I just re-read my comment and noticed that I left out that we are supposed to have him stay on the toilet for 3-5 MINUTES. This is not when he says he has to go, it is directed by the parents on the schedule of every 1-2 hours. (It is really hard to do this with busy schedules, but it really has worked for us).
I got a little twinge of pain (empathetic, of course) when I saw the photo of Dylan’s face. Poor boy!
My daughter is 5.5 and still wears a pull-up, well Underjams actually. She is also a verrrry heavy sleeper. We’ve done all the things that you’ve done as well, and still she wets every single night. And when we wake her to potty in the night, it’s extremely difficult to wake her and then she only goes a few drops, because she’s mostly still sleeping.
In contrast, her brother is a few months shy of 4 and has been dry at night since before he was even potty trained. Go figure.
Anyway, we’ve tried so many things and finally spoke with the pediatrician, who said she’ll grow out of it… eventually. But it will probably take a few more years. Yes, years. Some kids are just like that and there isn’t much you can do to change it. Also, we were told it tends to run in families.
Good luck!
The alarm systems work (there are studies using them – it’s in my field) if the problem is that his waking up isn’t under control of a full bladder. You should always rule out medical conditions. Basically the drop of urine (and full bladder) sounds the alarm which wakes him and up and constricts his muscles. So the full bladder ends up being paired with waking up and constricting muscles (it’s Pavlovian conditioning). Then you do have to help him get up and make it to the bathroom with out conking himself out, praise that, etc. But eventually, the full bladder should signal him to wake up and constrict muscles so he doesn’t wet the bed. I can send you a citation to a study if you want.
I’ve been blessed with boys (3 and 7) who apparently have bladders the size of canoes so they wake up dry and then dick around for awhile before they finally pee.
That being said, though, my friend’s daughter is six and still sleeps in a pull-up. Same story from her pediatrician….eventually she will outgrow it.
Seems fairly common, though. And, y’know, you apologized up front for the potential embarrassment factor but I am glad more moms are willing to talk about these sorts of things so that others with the same challenge can SEE that it’s fairly common.
Good luck!
I’m bookmarking this so I can come back to read the comments. My 5yo is the same way at night and I see no end in sight.
I think it’s the curse of the heavy sleeper. My boy is the lightest sleeper EVER, and that kid wakes up to pee all the time and has been waking up dry more often than not since he was 18 months old. My sleep has sucked due to his frequent night waking but I change fewer wet sheets.
Ugh, should have said I don’t think you can do much about either the light or heavy sleeper except roll with it until they outgrow it.
Two (other) things.
1. My 9 y/o (heavy sleeper, etc) is also a lot like Riley in that he is a super anxious/worrier. Based on some really big changes (new house, new school), his anxiety got out of control, and we chose to put on a low dose of Zoloft. Has not wet ONCE since the meds have kicked in.
2. Prior to this miraculous side effect, we had an appointment with his pediatrician for self-hypnosis to stop the wetting. Worth a shot if you can find a ped. that will try that!
IMHO, there is NOTHING more frustrating/aggrivating/helpless-feeling to both parents and kid than an older child who is wetting the bed.
My oldest daughter basically was in a coma all night long, and though she’d been out of diapers since she was two, she still wet the bed at night. We tried everything, including the scary-ass alarm and x-small adult diapers. Nothing worked. And while everyone’s experience will be different, for us waiting until she “would grow out of it” wouldn’t have happened. Someone would have died. (Kidding, of course.) Seriously? It was killing her self esteem. We had to do something
Finally mentioned it at a visit to the pediatrician. As the ped explained it to me, her bladder was sending all the right signals to her brain, and her brain was all Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z, so the message never got through and the bladder held on as long as it could before finally throwing it’s “hands” up in the air and saying “Aw, fuck it” and walking away. (Okay, maybe those weren’t his exact words, but you get the point.)
He said that she was sleeping in level 4 sleep all night long instead of normally cycling in and out of it, thus her brain was non-responsive to the rest of her body’s signals. He suggested putting her on Tofranil (gen: Imipramine) which would prevent her from going into the level 4 sleep.
After MUCH hand-wringing/stressing about screwing up her sleep or turning her into a zombie, we tried it as a last resort. It took a while to work (I can’t remember exactly how long, possibly up to a month? She’s now in her late 20’s, so my brain’s a bit fuzzy on the dets) but I will NEVER forget the first morning she came in and woke me up with the biggest smile of joy on her little face…”Momma! I’m dry!!! I didn’t wet the bed last night!!!”
She never wet the bed again after that, and at some point, years? (again, sorry for lack of timeframe) we stopped the meds and she was a-okay! It was the best thing we did for her. And she experienced no related issues, zombie or otherwise. She was well-rested and didn’t have any bad dreams due or other issues.
This link from the Mayo Clinic has a bit more info on it, and I’m pretty sure you could just Google Tofranil to get specifics.
http://tinyurl.com/7grburq
Good luck! (And sorry for hijacking your comments!)
My husband has this problem until he was (gulp!) TWELVE. There was nothing they could do, and they tried EVERYTHING. They even did the alarm in the underwear thing which did jack shit because by the time he was woken up enough, he’d already wet the bed AND there was an alarm beeping at him. It sucked because he would go to sleepovers and had to be extra careful to get up early and change his pull ups. He freaking remembers putting himself in a diaper.
You just gotta wait it out. It’s not a mind-over-matter deal, it’s a physiological change that has to happen. Amalah’s advice smackdown has a column about this very thing that was put up today and she said as much :/ Sorry!
Aaack! A couple of words got eaten. “She didn’t have any bad dreams due TO IT, or other issues.”
Also forgot to mention, she was 6 1/2 at the time.
Pretty sure this has already been said – Pullups. My son wore them all through 1st grade, but as a second grader now he almost always wakes up to go, if he goes at night at all. I’d rather have a good, heavy sleeper anyway. :)
My 10-year old is still wet most nights. He sleeps without a pull-up in a bunk bed. When he wakes up wet in the middle of the night, he changes his own sheets or switches to the other bed. We tried the alarm for 2 weeks straight and he slept through the siren even when we placed it right beside him on the bed. The pediatrician is not concerned so neither am I. I hate all the laundry, but figure we could be dealing with worse things! As for the social issues, we have a prescription that keeps him dry for sleepovers and overnight stays in hotels when necessary. The most important thing is not to make him feel that there’s anything “wrong” with him…
Maybe it’s up above, but …
my daughter is the same age (maybe even exactly!). This summer I asked her if she was interested in using a potty alarm. A coworker and told me about his son and night wetness and the potty alarm. She was gung-ho (which the info about potty alarm says the kid has to be interested in using it). She went from being wet every single night (I think she was peeing right before waking up as her pullups were warm) to being dry in about 3 weeks. We’ve had one accident in the last 4 months. In our case, I think she just needed some switches flipped. She could go 8 hours or more during the day without peeing, just needed to get that to be at night instead of the day.
We had tried “dry bed” training to no avail. Everyone was tired and pissy.
If you do try something without pullups/barrier, I highly recommend double sheeting the bed: mattress pad, fitted sheet, mattress pad, fitted sheet. Then in the middle of the night you only have to pull sheets off – not put a new set on too.
I know a fair number of kids in the 5-6-7 range that still wear pullups at night. I think we all talk more than our parents did. I’m relieved so many agree it’s not a shameful thing, it’s a growth milestone he hasn’t hit yet. My daughter hasn’t lost any teeth, she’s super sad about it.
Good luck. Riley’s a lucky kid to have you as his mama.
I’ll admit — I didn’t read all the responses. When my son was 7-1/2, we bought a Malem alarm. My son is a REALLY heavy sleeper. He doesn’t sleep a lot, but when he does, man he is OUT. My husband had to sleep just outside his room b/c the alarm didn’t really wake him up, and if it did, he was so out of it that he couldn’t tell what was happening. And yet, somehow, within two weeks he was dry. Done. Weirdly, he doesn’t wake up to pee during the night now, he just is dry til morning. So I can’t explain how it worked, but it did! Good luck.
Just turned six here and yes, every. Night. I’m choosing to ignore it. Waking in night just seems mean… As I’m sure he could hold it, his body is just used to being relaxed and it will click eventually (oh please flog).
The younger one? Been dry at for months.
I think an alarm would likely give him PTSD, as loud noises freak him out. Sigh. Thanks for assuring me that we are not alone.
You might try limiting milk in the evenings. My brother had a similar issue when we were little and it turned out to be a bit of a milk allergy. Went away after modifying his intake.
I confess this was 30 years ago, so maybe my memory is faulty, but might be worth a try.
Don’t worry about it. I have three boys and the older two still aren’t dry (almost 8 and almost 5). Our pediatrician says the most important thing to do is to keep them from feeling embarassed because at this point, they just don’t have the ability to stay dry. Eventually some hormone will kick in and hopefully they’ll be dry. The doc says he doesn’t worry about at all till a kid is around 9.
This might be a bit out there for you but I know more than one kid who has been helped with that after a few chiropractor sessions. There are lots of them who are really good with kids, I could send you some info if you are interested.
My younger brother wet the bed forever… well into his teens I think. To the point where the Good Nights didn’t fit anymore and my mom had to buy him Depends.
Eventually he grew out of it. I seem to recall that GoodNights came on the market when we were older kids, so I think they were a relief rather than making him feel like he was a baby again or something.
In a related story, I distinctly recall wetting the bed when I was around 4-5 … my parents put me in a cloth diaper at night … but what I remember the MOST is that I would wake up in the morning dry but TOO LAZY to get out of bed to pee, so I would just stay in bed and pee in the diaper and then eventually get out of bed and get dressed.
I was obviously the best child ever.
try a chiropractor. I’m not kidding.
NO milk or juice after 12:00 noon. NO sodas, period. Only water after 5:00 p.m. There are supposed to be waterproof towels you can get so you don’t have to change the whole bed, but I haven’t had time to google them (saw it in Parents magazine). We’ve outgrown all the pull-ups, and I refuse to buy adult diapers for this kid. I have my cellphone alarm set for 12:30 a.m., and my husband sleepwalks him to the potty, where he sleep-pees and goes back to bed and thus stays dry. He is supposed to outgrow it. His bio-dad had the same problem, as did I. They gave me tofranil, and it worked wonders, but it’s considered “dangerous,” and the doc won’t prescribe it now, and that’s ok, because he’s already on Concerta, yet he STILL sleeps like he’s dead, once he falls asleep. I remember dreaming I was peeing when I was that age. He WILL outgrow it, but we don’t know when. The Goodnights website has good information, also… Hang in there, it will be over eventually… They rarely go to high school still wetting the bed (unless they are drunk, of course!).
My 8 year old still deals with this. We’ve tried seeing a pediatric urologist, the alarm, were prescribed- but passed on -medication…etc etc. No results. We’re now seeing a naturopath. She has helped loads of kids with this problem and says that sometimes its just neurological (and you just have to wait till they outgrow it) OR – as she suspects with him – it could be caused by food allergies. With a food sensitivity the bladder can become inflamed which can cause it to be harder to control. Wheat/gluten/dairy are the usual suspects. We’re two weeks off wheat now …so …we’ll see how it goes.
My six (almost seven) year old only started making it through the night in the last couple of months, so I can empathize. For a while, my husband (bless him) was getting up in the wee hours of the morning to take him for the second pee of the night. That kept him dry, but it was hard work. Eventually we tried the just-before-our-bedtime approach only, and that worked. And then we just stopped getting him up altogether. And like Riley, he was a very sound sleeper so we essentially just had to prop him up in front of the toilet and aim for him. (And then clean up the mess after he went back to bed.)
Through all of this, towards the end, we did discover that on some nights he was waking up dry but then just going ahead and peeing instead of getting up. I know at least one of your other commenters mentioned that. So we had a little heart to heart with him about THAT, as you can imagine.
I guess all of this is just to say hang in there. He’ll get there eventually.
Our older son is about a week younger than Riley. Earlier this year, we got fed up with the bedwetting and purchased the Wee Stop bedwetting alarm. It worked like a charm. Within 2 weeks, he was staying dry. We continued to use it for another week or two, and he’s been dry ever since.
Oh, good Lord, I was hoping those were lipstick swipes on Dylan’s little face. Owie!
My husband was a bed-wetter and is still SO sensitive about it that when his dad let it slip during a family gathering my husband wanted to leave. I have never seen him so furious.
Needless to say, I don’t have any details, but I’m under the impression that the doctor said there was nothing physically wrong with him and he eventually outgrew it.
Get the book called Dry All Night. It worked for a 7 year old I know. Very nice book.
Don’t stress about the bed wetting – just put pull-ups on him and wait until he grows out of it. He really has no control over it. My son was the exact same way, he woke up wet every single morning, and then he just stopped. We waited until he woke up dry for 2 weeks straight and got rid of the pull-ups. It is a developmental thing and all kids are different as to when they stop. It really is very common, especially for boys.
I didn’t read all the comments, so maybe this is repeat. But we totally have the same problem with our similar-aged boy child. DEEP SLEEPER = Peeing through everything. Even pull-ups (we’ve even tried nigthttime diapers again) don’t keep him dry. I’m so tired of changing and washing sheets daily. BTW, he totally potty trained at 2 y/o with no problems during the day. SO, my husband and I did a lot of research and we purchased a not-so-cheap Chummie. Basically, a pee alarm. Suppose to train the brain to wake up before peeing. SAys it takes about 2 weeks to work. Kind of a pain b/c he shares room with brother and the alarm is LOUD (he still has slept through it a few times). We’ve only used it for three nights, but last night he actually woke up after peeing only a little and ran to the bathroom. He’s actually very motivated b/c he’s tired of constantly wetting the bed and feels terrible. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes. . .
Like others, haven’t read all the previous comments, but was he doing this before he recently started school? My son did this a couple years ago right after school started back up. Didn’t last too terribly long (off and on for a few weeks), and we just used some of those bed pads intended for invalids while we waited it out. The doctor said sometimes kids suppress stress from things like that and when he adjusted it would stop – and thankfully it did!
As the mother of a now 19 year old who wore a pull-up to bed every night from the age of 2.5 till he was halfway through first grade, I say of all the things to stress about with pre-schoolers and young school agers, this isn’t it. The pediatrician just said to wait it out, he’d grow out of it, and he did. Time really is a gift. I think back to a lot of the things I really stressed over when all 3 were really young, and so many things seem inconsequential, really. My son went on sleepovers, he just packed a pullup, and I gave the host a heads up that he had one. He wasn’t the only one in his circle of friends wearing one at night either. Flash forward about 12 years and I still stress over late night accidents, but of a much different type. On dark, foggy nights I wait to hear the bleep of the car door locking, and the sound of his keys in the front door to know he’s home safe.
Two of mine wet until they were eight and nine, just because of the heavy sleeping. My third was dry at night by age three, go figure. Anyway, we got drops from the pediatrician. I think they squirted them up their nose. They did that every night before bed for about two months and they stopped wetting mostly right away. Once they stopped the medicine, they continued to stay dry. I didn’t really care about the Pullups, but they were wanting to do sleepovers by then and were embarrassed.
I am SO GLAD to hear from so many of you that this is normal and No Big Deal. I haven’t been too stressed on it (and he certainly doesn’t care much) but it was one of those things where I wasn’t sure if I SHOULD be stressed, you know?
Also, holy shit, some of those pee alarms are crazy expensive.
At his age they don’t even recommend doing anything about it yet. I think the recommendation is that you wait until the kid’s seven or eight.
That said, I have extensive experience with prolonged bedwetting with one of my kids. The alarm (the kind that hooks on the clothes, not the mattress-pad kind) worked but she relapsed after a while. I think she may have the hormonal variety of problem — there’s a hormone that’s supposed to tell your kidneys to slow down on urine production while you sleep, and in some people it’s absent — but she IS also a very heavy sleeper. (She has a loft bed and is the size of a small adult so getting her up to use the toilet in the night is quite a task. She basically sleepwalks in there and never remembers it in the morning. But most nights if I’m up late I’ll get her up to go before I go to bed.)
That said, what we’ve found most recently that seems to be helping — either that or the problem is finally going away on its own (she’s 12) — is that she keeps a light on in her room at night. We think it keeps her from sleeping so heavily but we’re not sure.
PS I think the alarm would traumatize Riley into therapy at this point, thinking of how he is with loud noises and the possibility of loud noises. That thing is SO, SO LOUD, and very sudden.
Better than what one of my Relatives Who Shall Not Be Named did. He’d get up in the night, sleepwalk to his dresser, open a drawer, pee, close the drawer, and go back to bed…never once waking.
The Malem bedwetting alarm worked wonders at our house. Oldest was about 7 and it took a couple of weeks for his body to adjust. It’s a hellish time and you won’t get much sleep—lots of undies and sheets changing—but it’s well worth it in the end. My youngest was on the same path, so I started it with her at about 4/5 and it worked like a charm again.
I don’t have time to read all the comments, but it is a hormone problem. Try asking your doctor about DDAVP, it was a life saver for our son. It allowed him to go to sleep overs and did wonders for his self esteem.
Went through this with my no 16 year old–it lasted until she was 12! If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to just go with pull ups until 10-then go through the alarm. Dr told us to wait until 8, then we did tests, restricted liquids (made it worse, got 2 UTIs, and caused constipation!), journal, nasal spray, and expensive bed alarm all of which just gave ME a hard time!
He will be fine–take away pull ups at 10 and make him change bedding and not wake you–done. He will be OK!
My ped said it takes boys longer to train to stay dry over night, but my mom found this alarm thing that hooks to the underwear and we used it to help my heavy sleeper wake up. An alarm sounds if the underwear gets even a tiny drop of pee. We used for about a week and now he is trained to wake up when he needs to. Something with the alarm helped trigger my son to know when his body was telling him to get up overnight. He is the heaviest sleeper, as well, I could vacuum in there, I could have a party in his room and he’d still sleep through it. He just sleeps heavy (me, too). But anyway, when we first tried it, he wet once, the alarm sounded, we went in cleaned him up, the next night he wet a tiny bit – alarm, he got up and into the bathroom in time. By the 3rd night he had it. We kept the alarm on for like 7 days after, to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. I don’t know if it was his time to “get it” or if the alarm helped trigger something in his brain, but it worked for us. He’s had maybe 1 or 2 accidents since, but it was in a combo of being sick so I don’t really count those! Best of luck. My doctor did say it was OK to try the alarm thing, but not to pressure him, btw.
So it sounds like what us parents of older bedwetters should do is check with a ped to make sure nothing is wrong, possibly use an alarm system, and be prepared to wait it out.
Wearing pull-ups at night is a confusion that causes my son to have accidents during the day so we’ve resigned ourselves to doing a lot of laundry. One thing I’ve found works better than the sheet/pad/sheet set-up is to use several layers of fleece on top of the fitted sheet. It’s absorbent and easy to handle in the middle of the night, just take off the layers that are wet. You can get fleece remnants at fabric stores and usually four layers is more than enough.
Keep this in your back pocket.
http://bedwettingstore.com/malem-ultimate-bedwetting-alarm.html
I know they are expensive but IF he is still having problems at 8 you’ll be ready to fork it over.
My girl at 8 needed one. It worked amazingly! She has relapses from time to time, she’s 10 now, usually 2 nights with the alarm has her good again for months.
Let’s just say that um… this situation can go on until a child is like, 9. We did everything you did, too but nothing worked. We learned it’s very common in boys and often hereditary. Our doctor was very unconcerned even though we were beside ourselves. Kids outgrow it. Promise.
My kids are log-sleepers, too. I can sometimes get the younger two who still have accidents (ages 6 and 3) to zombie pee at 11 p.m., but for insurance I have those washable pads the hospital puts under your butt after you delivered a baby (and presumably in other situations, but that’s where I, um… accidentally took them home from). I keep those on hand and they go under the sheets–or sometimes even on top of the wetness as a quick fix, because Mama isn’t the best middle of the night waker. They can be bought at med supply stores if you were not a Klepto when you had your boys. ;)
http://www.medicalsupplygroup.com/INCONTINENCE/UNDERPADS_REUSABLE/SAL1994A/product.aspx
They’re not super cheap, so I am right now kinda happy I accidentally took one home with each child. But, really, at like $20 each, considering I’ve been washing and reusing the oldest one for nearly 10 yrs now, they’re a good deal, and they work GREAT.
Heh, yes sorry, Malem alarm,not Malm. Husband works at IKEA. There’s no Malm bedwetting alarm!
I wet the bed for a long time too, and was so embarrassed I wanted to skip a girl scout overnight because of it. My mom took me to the doctor who gave me a pill that would help me not wet the bed… and after it worked long enough to stop the problem entirely, they told me it was a placebo. Tic tacs are cheap, right? May as well try it. :)
So I have a brother who is 18 years younger than me and when he was little he had this same problem. When he was in 2nd or 3rd grade he was still having this issue and my dad and stepmother hired a company/consultant who works on this issue. I thought it was crazy. I think it was like $1,000 or more and a consultant came over, talked to my brother, talked to my parents and then gave them an alarm that goes under the sheets. If it got wet it sent off a loud alarm. Another part of this was that each morning the consultant would call the house and talk to my brother to see how the night went. Oh, I also remember that they instructed my brother to drink ALOT just before bed so that he would really have to go in the middle of the night. Well, I shit you not, it worked right away!!! I was dumbfounded!
Time. Time and lack of attention paid to it did the trick for my now 15 year old. He slept like a log, didn’t completely wake up when we got him up. Sometime during the middle of his eight year old year, one night the problem just – went away.
I say lack of attention because being worried about it made him sleep more poorly which made him more tired, which made the problem worse.
It has to be a chemical thing, because while our 4yo isn’t fully potty trained yet (still has daytime accidents from holding too long, still can’t quite figure out wiping thoroughly for #2, etc) in the last 4 weeks he started waking up dry in the mornings, and this kid brings a water bottle to bed and most nights sucks it 2/3 dry. Since Thanksgiving we’ve been offering him the option of undies or pullups and most nights he says undies, but some nights he says pullups and we don’t naysay him. He hasn’t wet the bed yet. Oh, and he usually doesn’t have to pee for like another 2 hours after he gets up. To say I’m amazed and feeling spectacularly blessed is an understatement.
I, on the other hand, have to go last thing before bed (usually twice), first thing when I wake, and usually have at least one middle of the night trip, and I cut myself off of fluids about 2 hours before bedtime. Ugh! Sure glad he didn’t get MY bladder!
Also, poor Dylan! Good thing they heal quickly at this age. With luck it will be gone before Xmas and won’t spoil the holiday photos!
I’m pretty sure our families are twins. Ethan is the same way when he sleeps. Total log. We have to carry him to the bathroom at about 11:30-midnight every night to have any prayer of him waking up dry. We also use cloth nighttime pants (because the pullups keep him too dry, but the cloth ones keep the bed dry and still let him feel that he’s wet). But we can’t let him walk there or he’ll kill himself running into/falling over things. Apparently, my husband and both his brothers wet the bed until they were 6 or 7, and his older brother had to be medicated to finally stop.
I’m hoping it will pass in time, because I REALLY don’t want to fork out the money for one of those alarms.
Also, Ethan totally faceplanted into…who the hell knows what…at day care yesterday, and we had to go to the ER to get his head glued back together. I tweeted @you about it (not because I’m a total stalker…though you probably felt that way), and it’s funny that Dylan had a crash-and-burn the same day. Well, not funny, because OW! Poor kid. Funny like…weird. It’s the curse of mothers-of-boys.
Hope his scrape heals quick. I’m looking forward to Ethan’s head not having a huge patch of dermabond on it. Sigh…
so I think you have enough info….BUT, my 9yo was still having issues with this and he came to me and said that he was tired of having to wear goodnights. We had talked to his pedo before and finally decided to give the pee pee alarm a try. Worked like magic!! One week and no more accidents. This was almost a year ago and only one bad night since. I’d say if he’s concerned and wants to stop the pullups then go for it. If he’s cool with it then don’t stress…he will grow out of it at some point!
My son was potty trained for almost a year then he started wetting the almost every night. After 2 years of limiting his drinks and waking him during the night,wewent with his Dr.’s recommendtion & got this alarm. http://www.pottypager.com/ it worked great, but we did have to use months at a time, as he would be dry, but then slip back to having accients again. He had accidents from the time he was 4 until 9. He has now been dry for 2 years!!!!
My son was the same and was only completely dry from around 11. I don’t want to freak you out though – it’s not like he was wetting the bed every night or anything at that age but it was happening at intervals. It’s frustrating for everyone but I really think it’s just a developmental thing and will happen when it happens.
We attended a bed-wetting clinic and had some success with the bed-wetting alarms so i think they are worth trying – they definitely reduced the number of wet nights but he often regressed.
It might be worth doing some research and getting advice as there can be different reasons for bed-wetting. If he is pretty problem-free during the day then it is probably just a developmental issue. It’s not just that they are heavy sleepers – the body releases a hormone when we sleep that stops urine going to the bladder. If that’s not happening yet then Riley won’t be able to make it through the night.
Also with my son I found it helped to really encourage him to drink during the day too to train him to increase the amount of urine he could hold before triggering the urge to void (that’s not a sentence my 20 year old self ever envisaged writing). He often rushed to the loo during the day even though his bladder wan’t full so I think we had more than one issue going on.
Try and stay cool about it though. I got frustated with wet beds and I feel guilty about it now as my son definitely felt my frustation but it wasn’t his fault.
I read through most of the comments because my 5.5 has the same issues. Like you, I am not too worried about it (and he is fairly oblivious). But sometimes I wonder if I should be worried. Anyway, the only thing I wanted to add is that my son has SPD and we have been told by his ped and his OT that this condition is even more common with children with sensory issues. I just thought you might find that interesting, since you have occasionally written about some of R’s sensory sensitivities, even though he does not have SPD. Our Ped and OT both are not at all concerned and have advised me to wait it out. My plan is to do just that until he starts to become concerned about it!
My oldest was EXACTLY like your Riley. We had some luck with getting him up and walking him to the bathroom and sort of aiming him in the right direct (after he was tall enough to not need a stool anymore; sleep-walking and climbing stools is semi-dangerous) right before we went to bed (he went to bed early; us, rather late). That helped, but like others mentioned, when he was about 7 it pretty much stopped. He had the occasional accident every now and then for another year, usually only if he was exceptionally tired. Some kids, especially boys, just take longer for their bladders to “mature.” Now, I’m sure we could’ve financed his college education for what we spent in diapers/pull-ups/Good-Nights, but he’s fully potty-trained at 15. ;) :D
LOL to @Redbecca at 12:10–he may not have INHERITED your bladder, but I bet you he INFLUENCED it and why it has to go so often! hee, hee–I used to have an iron bladder until I carried two ginormous babies in my body.
I scrolled through all these comments hoping to see one from Dave Gryder!!!
Also, your black/white pin-striped shirt was left in a hotel room in New Orleans.
Thank you Another mom, for posting your comment to All & Sundry. I very much agree with you that many bloggers don’t hear about the impact they’ve had on others in subtile and long reaching ways. My own story is not so personal, but I too have understood the issues of drug and alcohol abuse much better for having read this blog (and, the implicit hope it provides).
Our 11-year-old is finally dry at night! He wet at night for the same reason – he’s a REALLY heavy sleeper. For years, our only option was to have a pad on his bed, and he slept in Good Nights. Someone suggested medication, but our pediatrician said it’s definitely not a good long-term solution, only to use it for camps and sleepovers.
About 1.5 years ago, we ordered a bed-wetting alarm. After the first night of terror, we turned the sound off and put it on vibrate-only. It tapered off slowly, and as of this past summer, he was wetting only a couple of times a week. Now, he’s been dry for nearly four months. He is eleven-and-a-half. Long road, but we finally got there.
Lastly? Nicky also has SPD. Seems like a common theme!
I live just up the freeway from you. I’d be happy to pass the alarm along, since we don’t need it any more. They’re pretty expensive, as you’ve found, and I’d like to see it go to someone who can use it.
Does he snore at night? Bedwetting is a very common symptom if a child has sleep apnea. My 7 year old is getting his adenoids and tonsils out due to sleep apnea and the ENT told us that it may “cure” his bed wetting. If it does, great. If not, then pull ups remain on the shopping list.
My little brother peed the bed until he was 18 years old. My parents tried EVERYTHING. Medication, alarms, waking,pull-ups/diapers, doctor appts upon doctor appts, sleeping evals, restricting water. His laundry was washed EVERY SINGLE DAY. He had to deal with his bed wetting on overnight away games for HS sports, on hunting trips, and at sleep overs with friends. It was so horrible.
A few years ago, my mother was talking to an older gentleman at a clinic where she works and he had mentioned his own issues with this in his youth. Do you know what he said? No milk with dinner or close to bedtime. She went home and they tried it. Not a single accident since.
My 4 year old son is having similar issues and we tried restricting his milk intake. It has had no effect. So, it is worth a shot and way less expensive than an alarm. But I am hoping he will just grow out of it sooner than later. Mine pees so much he soaks the pull-up & the bed almost every night. So I am fighting my own laundry every *#&#( day battles. I am interested to try a few suggestions I read here though. Thanks for bringing it up and providing us all with access to the mom brain trust.
Your Gap shirt could be inside your dresser, but on the floor under the bottom drawer. That’s where missing clothes are often found in my house.
8 year old son still has problems with this. Finally got in to see a urologist a few months ago about it. Two things we did: one, enlarged the opening of this urethra (in office) — he no longer sprays like a broken hose when he pees at night or in the day. Two – fluid shifting. Its a complete pain in the ass, if you ask me, but it did work really well. You have to cut out all the C’s – caffeine, cola, citrus, chocolate, and no milk after lunch. The other half of the equation is making the kid drink loads of water in the first half of the day and then tapering off between 3 and 5 in the afternoon (really depends on your family’s bedtime schedule – we are late nighters, so our cut off time tends to be much later) and nothing to drink in the evening unless its absolutely necessary. Worked great, dry nights. Huge pain in the butt getting son to drink the water and not have soda/caffeine.
Good luck with this. At least you and your husband are on the same page. Some of us aren’t.