Oh my god what a relief to finally be able to talk about what’s going on, and thank you so, so, SO much for all your lovely comments. Now it really seems real, you know? It was so weird to have all this major upheaval happening, but having to stay quiet until the final details with JB separating from his current job were ironed out. I mean, the only non-vodka-based coping mechanism I’ve ever developed for dealing with stress—aside from troweling enormous portions of high-calorie food into my carb-hole, that is—is writing about it online. THIS HAS BEEN VERY HARD IS ALL I’M SAYING.

Anyway! JB starts his new gig on May 7, which is . . . yeah, that’s coming right up, isn’t it? Without potentially wading into murky water by calling out the company by name, this job seems custom-designed for him. He’ll be working for a business that designs and manufactures specialized hunting equipment, and I think that in addition to the job itself sounding challenging and awesome, the environment and people will be right up his alley.

It’s a big change from Microsoft, for many reasons. I am so incredibly proud of JB not only for finding this new opportunity, but for being brave and true enough to his own self to take it.

We’re a little up in the air on our immediate next steps, because we do have a rental house squared away, but it won’t be available until the first week of June. JB will for sure be in Eugene on his start date (his new company will cover 2 weeks at a hotel, and his brother will let him stay at his place the rest of the time), but I’m not 100% certain what I’m going to do. His parents offered to let me and the boys stay with them in Coos Bay, and that would actually be totally fine—the kids would love it, and I’d probably find it easier to get my work done with more people around to help—but I’m not sure about bringing our cat to someone else’s house for 3 weeks (especially since they already have a cat). We could stay in a hotel with JB in Eugene, but again: CAT.

So maybe we’ll end up renting our own house from the buyers for a few weeks (they’ve already indicated they’d be open to this) and I’ll stay here with the kids through May? I don’t know. CATS, MAN.

What do you think sounds less insane:

• Moving all of our stuff into a storage place, then everyone, including the frigging cat, staying somewhere temporary in Oregon until we can get in the rental, then moving PART of our stuff back into the rental while leaving things like shop equipment etc in storage, the benefits here being that at least we wouldn’t be 300 miles apart during May


• Me staying here by myself with the boys until June, at which point we move everything straight to the rental and store the extra stuff


• Some better situation I haven’t managed to think of yet?

I’ve already talked to Riley’s teacher about the possibility of him leaving school early, and there’s no problem there. It was funny how tentatively I brought it up—like, will he need some sort of graduation document? And she was sort of like, um, it’s kindergarten. You’re cool.

Our general plan is to rent for the summer while we look for a place to buy, and I’m all kinds of nervous about that upcoming process, but I’m telling myself it’s one step at a time, one step at a time. First: close the house sale here. Next: figure out when the boys and I are leaving, and where we’re going. Also: pack. Rent a truck find a storage facility talk to schools set up short term COBRA call the—

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand breathe. It’s all going to be good, I know it.

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(Lovely Eugene-area images courtesy of Don Hankins.)


113 Responses to “One step at a time”

  1. Becky on April 12th, 2012 8:06 pm

    UGH..we have done this SEVERAL times..as in 5 times over the last 8 years. The last move was the hardest as we now have two kids. We did a split. Hubby in Pa for 8 weeks and the boys and I in IL for those 8 weeks. Then all of us in a rental for 10 weeks with most of our crap in storage. The rental SUCKED BIG TIME…it was SO SMALL and we were right on top of each other. Meanwhile being 500+ miles away from one another was MUCH easier. Especially since I had a sitter for 3 hours one night a week.

    My assvice on the weekends…don’t have to see each other every weekend and when you do see each other take turns. In the 8 weeks we were apart we were only “together” twice. Once for a long weekend with Thanksgiving (I drove to him) and then another long weekend before the move (he drove to us). We skyped on non-bath nights. The nice part was it really gave hubby a chance to get familiar with his new job (an environment VERY similar to microsoft, except WAY more moving) so it was ok if he had a night where he stayed really late. The biggest adjustment was when we finally had room to roam in our new house…we were so damn excited to not be right on top of each other anymore!

    Add to the mix a 80 lb yellow lab and a cat. The cat we could keep with us at the rental for an additional fee. And the dog stayed with my parents (150 miles away) for the time we were in the rental.

    So there you go..free assvice!

  2. Megan on April 12th, 2012 8:40 pm

    I’m so happy to hear that you’ve got this huge thing you wanted going on, yay! I wish all good things for you, and don’t get to crazy during the transition even if it’ll be hard. Remember: temporary, temporary! Best wishes to your whole family.

  3. mikhat on April 12th, 2012 10:31 pm

    Hi Linda,
    I guess you could call me a lurker. I’ve been reading your blog for several months, and have enjoyed every post. I’m inordinately thrilled by your upcoming move, and how it represents the hopes and dreams of so many of us who read your blog. Anyway, I wanted to offer an option in making your decision for May…my family would be very happy to watch your kitty for 3 weeks, or however long it takes, for you to make your move. We have a cat who we were told was very good with other cats by PAWS. He’s been with us for 1 and 1/2 years, and is a very calm kitty–no other pets. We live in Kingston, in Kitsap county. It wouldn’t be any trouble for us, and we would be thrilled to help. Just one obstacle removed for you in making your move.

  4. Sarah on April 13th, 2012 3:00 am

    Congratulations on the move – it sounds fantastic! Just to add another thought to the mix: would the new owners of your house be open to cat-sitting for you for a month? I suppose it depends whether they have pets of their own, etc; but that way you and the kids could go down to Oregon without disturbing the cat, then come up and collect him when the rental is ready.

    We’ve been in a similar situation here and my preference is always for keeping the humans together wherever possible, fwiw…

  5. Michelle on April 13th, 2012 5:27 am

    Just by reading the first comment, it seems I’m not the only one who teared up for you and your family reading the last 2 blog entries. This online community is so happy for you and everyone always likes to see “dreams” coming true. That said, my first instinct was to say stay in your house longer and move to Oregon in June – seemed like fewer details and hassles. But, what if you moved with JB wherever he is staying so everyone is together, and find somewhere for the cat to stay? Can the cat stay with JB’s brother? (Someone probably already mentioned this but I didn’t have time to read all the comments) Again, I’m so so so happy for you!

  6. Kari on April 13th, 2012 9:55 am

    Stay here through May. So many reasons – better for JB (to get settled into a new job without distraction), better for the boys (finish up the school year before making a huge transition), better for you (any money you save by not doing this twice, spend on movers and/or packers).

    Can’t figure out who was calling you selfish. Must be a twitter thing, which, yeah, not the best place to ask such things.

  7. Jennifer on April 13th, 2012 3:17 pm

    I have a guess as to who’s the selfish-sayer, but… moving right along… and JB wouldn’t have to drive up every weekend, right? Isn’t that what SKYPE is for?

    I’d vote for the inlaws stay as (#1) and let the cats work it out. If that doesn’t work, then (#2) kennel the cat right there in Coos Bay so you can visit her. If neither of those choices is feasible, stay put until you can do the one move. Don’t look for yet another temporary place in Eugene just for 3 weeks unless it’s the “staying with family” option.

  8. Cassidy on April 13th, 2012 4:40 pm

    Sooo … what if you rented your current house from your buyers til June but went ahead and packed everything up now as if you were moving in May? Then you can stay one or two weeks alone w/ the kids, finish packing, etc. And then one weekend in May, JB can come home help you finish packing, pack everything as if it is ready to move and then just leave it and go back to Coos Bay for the next 2 weeks until June? And then on moving day (first of June) you can move everything from your home to your new rental in Oregon (ie your home = storage = you are paying rent on your home rather than renting a storage unit). I dont’ know … just another thought. :) Good luck with everything!

  9. Erin@MommyontheSpot on April 13th, 2012 6:19 pm

    I just read all the links to this story. I am totally inspired. My husband and I want to move our family to our dream neighborhood, and sometimes, I just wonder if it will ever happen. (The post about giving up on your dream – totally hit home).

    Thanks for sharing your story! I can’t wait to read more!

  10. Melissa on April 14th, 2012 6:34 am

    I didn’t read the eleventy billion other comments, so excuse me if I’m redundant here…
    but in my experience, being home without a husband and two kids sucks…doing it in someone else’s house sucks too, but you’re in someone else’s house. I have found that rarely does the extra help outweigh being with your own stuff.
    I would stay put and just move once.
    Sorry you’re in such a tough situation, there isn’t really a great choice…but it will all be past soon enough and you can put a notch on your belt for surviving it. :)

  11. Maricris @ SittingAround on April 14th, 2012 5:31 pm

    Oh,so good for you. Congrats! For me, better you stay with the boys until the rental house is available. I think it won’t take long.

  12. Aimee on April 16th, 2012 5:59 pm

    Oh, congratulations!! What wonderful news. I’m so happy for you that your dreams are coming true.

    Isn’t it funny how one person’s ideal place is another person’s horrible fit? We made that leap of faith to move here to Seattle(ish) three years ago, and it couldn’t be more perfect. At the same time, people wondered how we could leave Atlanta, the place which was absolutely perfect for THEM. I finally started saying, “It’s a good thing we all have different ideas of the best place to live, or it would be awfully crowded.”

    All that to reiterate – Yay YOU!! Congrats!!!

  13. Lindsay on April 19th, 2012 1:29 pm

    I would have to say staying at your current residence through May and going to Eugene in June makes the most sense and would be my first choice. But it really depends on if you and JB are cool being apart for that month.

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