Apr
14
Well, that was an unholy bitch of a decision, but I think we’ve settled on me and the boys staying here in Seattle during May. I think, like many of you pointed out, it will be less of a pain than moving our stuff twice and staying in someone else’s house for weeks on end.
Still, it’s going to be rough. I keep thinking about how I feel whenever JB leaves town—lonely, for sure, but also sort of mentally unhinged? Solo parenting isn’t nearly as difficult as it used to be, but days on end of having no one to talk to who’s over 6 years old can make a person a little . . . well, you know. *twirls finger next to temple in meaningful manner*
I’m sure it will be FINE, though. I’ll be busy with working and packing and taking two kids to and from school and strategizing who will drive where for weekend visits and it’ll just fly by, right? It’ll be fine! Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
(Oh god.)
Speaking of CrazyTown, Population: Me, I don’t know if I’ve properly expressed the immense relief we feel over how quickly we got an offer on the house. We were a lot more serious about things this time around—unlike our sale attempt in 2010, we actually partnered with a real estate agency that didn’t suck, and we dropped the price by $30K. We also put a huge amount of effort into getting it ready to show, but I had no idea what to expect. Would it be like last time? Would the weeks drag by while I tried to keep things clean enough to accommodate a spur-of-the-moment, utterly uninterested showing?
As it turned out, as soon as our house was posted on the MLS my phone started ringing and didn’t stop for three solid days. We had showing after showing, and in the brief moments we were actually home, a near-parade of looky-loos drove slowly by, scoping from the street.
The house was posted on a Thursday, and by Sunday we had three (!) offers to consider. We also had quite the collection of realtor cards:
We haven’t closed the sale yet, but everything is going as well as we could have possibly hoped. We passed the (FOUR HOUR) inspection last week and the appraiser is coming next Monday. The buyers are so solid, we don’t anticipate any problems—but, of course, I’m sort of holding my breath until we sign on the dotted line.
It feels like everything has happened so fast, like one day JB was driving down for an interview and the next we had a lockbox on the front door and now we have a ever-complicated Tetris game of boxes accumulated in the living room. I’m sure May will pass just as quickly and moving day will be here before I know it.
It’ll all be fine! It’ll be fiiiiiiiiiiiine. (Right?)
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We had a similar situation with our 1st house in Colorado. We moved back to Oklahoma from Colorado (jobs…gotta have ’em) and tried for 9 months to sell our house. After price drops and a lot of hair pulling, we rented it. (THAT was awful. I do not recommend it.) After the awful renters moved out we spruced it up, put it back on the market for a lot less and crossed our fingers. It sold within a week. SUCH. CRAZY. RELIEF. Good luck on this amazing journey going forward!
I hear you on the “mentally unhinged” when the husband is gone. You do what you have to, and everything is fine…but it almost feels like you’re hyperventilating most of the time as you do it all and keep the happy face on (for the kids and for the hubs who can’t help even if it is all going to shit).
On that (oh so positive) note…it will be fine…it might suck, it might not…but you have done way harder things. I’m SO jealous of your big move and SO happy for you guys.
Hang in there! If I lived close I’d bring you a casserole (that’s just what we do in the south.) :)
Linda, I have enjoyed reading your work since ParentDish. I never comment, but wanted to send you my warm wishes. Congratulations to you and your family. I wish you all the best. –Michele
It really will be fine. The anticipation of these things is always worse than actually doing it. A month is nothing – you barely turn around and it’s time to pay bills and give out heart worm pills again. Stock up on jelly beans and this too shall pass. (Geez, I almost said wine. Foot in mouth much? Definitely don’t do that.)
I’m so happy for you, Linda! I know what it’s like to have that yearning to leave and to find a change of scenery only to have it impeded by shit totally out of your control.
Wishing you a headache-free closing and a successful move!
Yes, even better than fine, in fact!
I am fiercely protective of Seattle, albeit less so in the last few years.
What will you miss most about it? I know you are on the eastside, and that is an entirely different beast, but you seemed to actually cross the bridge regularly. What will you miss most about this city?
Kari: not much about the culture etc, mostly because we’re such homebodies, but I’ll miss the incomparable views — the water, the ferries, the mountains, the cityscape.
Eugene, two words: Mucho Gusto= Burrito goodness!
We’re also thinking about selling our Eastside house sometime in the next year to move. I would love to hear what you did differently this time to prepare your house for listing.
Congratulations on making the dream come true!
Sometimes things DO workout and are (am I really saying this) somewhat easy. XOXO!
You WILL be fine. I spent two months alone in Virginia alone with two daughters 7 and 1 after my husband was transferred to New Mexico. I didn’t think I could do it, but we made it! Take in lots of kid movies, go to the zoo, etc. Break up each day with a little field trip, and the days will fly by. You will be so glad you will only have to move one time, and when you do, you’ll be able to settle right in rather than uprooting the kids several times. It will be good, I promise!
Right. Deep breath. It WILL be fine. If R&D get to be too much, you can develop a sudden case of hard-of-hearing; the nice thing about younger-than-6 is that they are still pretty much taking the outside world at face value.
This is all so excellent, and I wish all of you the best of luck. Here’s hoping that any temporary suckage will make the end result just that much sweeter.
First: congratulations!
Second: some moving advice (not that you asked or anything)…I moved from California to Florida 2 years ago and PODS was my best friend. They even have people who can pack for you and help unpack and they store your stuff for as long as you need and everybody you talk to on the phone at that company is pretty much awesome. They made a big move with lots of crap and two small children WAAAAYYY easier that it should have been. And, no, I do not work for PODS, I just tell everyone about them because I had such a good experience :)
It will be fine because the internet is sooo excited for you. And May will fly by, and before you know it you’ll be in your dream place!
I haven’t had a chance to congratulate you yet, what with the eleventy billion well wishers before me…but I’m so happy for you and your family, and I’m sure that after the dust settles, you will be better than fine.
And re: selling your house quickly- the bottom line is, you can sell anything if you just price it right. That means being willing to take less than you maybe want, or think it’s worth…because in the end, selling it is more important than holding out for some perceived profit. Congrats on the quick sale!
It WILL be fine, yes. And hard at times, but what isn’t? We went through something similar last spring – my husband moved up here for a job while the kids and I stayed for 3 months so they could finish the school year. I won’t lie, it was rough. But worth it! We are SO happy here now! Anyway – if you need help in the coming weeks, please feel free to ask. I could help pack, or entertain kids while you pack, or whatever. Plus I’d love to finally meet you before it’s too late. :-)
You will be absolutely FINE!!! And in order to keep the crazies at bay, I would suggest finding at least three hours once a week while the boys are at school to do nothing but NOTHING unless it is related to you and your happiness. Could be as simple as curling up and taking a nap, could be a mani/pedi, but make SURE you do for yourself. That’s an order, ma’am.
I forgot to check back last time – so, no professional movers? Yeah, okay, definitely definitely definitely only move once.
It will be fine. I know more than one couple who’ve done transoceanic moves with ambulatory kids, and come out intact, so I have proof of concept.
Yep – it will be fine. I had about a month to pack up my Colorado house before hauling everything to Bellingham and whoa, there was so much to pack, I didn’t even realize, and I started stressing about running OUT of time. One way to keep yourself from going nutso with no adult conversation is invite your blog friends (or your real life ones!) to come over and help you pack for an afternoon once or twice a week.
It’s going to be over before you know it and you will rock it. One time my husband and I lived in a second floor apartment and when we moved, we just opened the window and threw the boxes into the back of the truck that was parked below, dishes, books, clothes, everything. Oh to be young and not give a crap stuff again!
I just want to give you a virtual hug and tell you how awesome it is that you guys are following your dream. I know, I know, it sounds soooo corny even when I type it but do you realize how brave you guys have been? Job changes, moving? Those are big leaps.
You are so bold and purposeful. Good job!!
I am so excited that the house went so quickly. Such a huge weight off your shoulders and it put everything else in motion, right? Yay!! I’m so happy for you guys, insane single-parent routine notwithstanding. And honestly, you’ll get into a routine with the boys and those days will fly by. My husband went to France for a month last year and it felt long and painful the first week and after that it sped up. I got some pet projects done in his absence, too. If you have any friends/family in the area that can help you out just one or two days a week, or are willing to shell out the $$ for a babysitter for a few hours a week, it would be worth it for your sanity and getting a few “dammit this would easier to do without the kids underfoot” things done.
It’s going to make you a crazy nut during the next few weeks, but when you arrive at your destination it’ll all have been just a bad dream and you’ll be in paradise.
Since you’re leaving the Seattle area, maybe you can use the time alone with the kids for a “last hurrah” and a few day trips? Woodland Park, Point Defiance, perhaps a ferry trip around the San Juans or Fort Casey on Whidbey Is.? Close enough to sleep in your own beds, but entertaining enough to exhaust them?
I understand it can be overwhelming, but you’ll be fine. My sister parents solo for at least 3 months at a time, sometimes 6 mos(her husband is a ship captain). She keeps her sanity by using a babysitter and/or my parents a few times a week to give herself time to handle errands or chores that are best done without my niece and nephew in tow (ages 8 and 10). It was a lot tougher when they were babies, but she’s a pro now. She always has a day trip in the works to use as a reward for the kids help and good behavior.
Phone JB every day so you can get some grown-up vocabulary time. You’ll rock it.
Congrats! And good luck! Any specifics on what you did to the house this time that you didn’t last time? Any ideas what worked? Getting ready to put ours on the market. Yuck!
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Keep breathing! Thanks for bringing us with you on this adventure. I want a new house so hard it hurts (not to mention a new job for my husband), so I’m living vicariously through you!
Congratulations on your move… how exciting for your family! I saw this today & thought of you: http://geekdoctor.blogspot.com/2012/04/experts-guide-to-moving.html.
Exciting! You can do it. As a military spouse, I know it is daunting to think of handling things on your own with hubs far away, but sometimes I think the worrying about it is more taxing than the actual DOING it. Remember to do everything you can to keep hubs plugged in to what is going on with you and the boys every day, and also look for little things you can let go of to make the days easier for you. Sure, you could write your name in the dust in my house while Dad was deployed, but my two kids and I had a lunch date every Sunday and went on all kinds of adventures to keep ourselves busy. I repeat: You can do it!
I know it seem like A LOT to take in…packing, moving, being apart…all of it. But, trust me (I’m a military wife who’s husband JUST returned after 2 years in Japan), you will make it and in all honesty, you will be so insanely busy, packing and cleaning and hustling the kids around that the time will fly by and your family will be back together before you know it. I am so utterly happy for you and your family and wish you all the best!
OMG, my husband leaves for Paris for 9 days tomorrow and I so feel you on the crazy-making-ness of solo parenting!
Plus he normally gets the kids from daycare and makes dinner and I’ll have to skip lunch to leave an hour early to get the kids. I think I see a lot of take-out in our immediate future…
It’ll be fine, keep just getting through it!
Dude, you wil be just fine. Trust. My husband is a Merchant Marine, which means he leaves for, oh, THREE MONTHS AT A TIME. The first time he left me with the baby, I thought I would shit a brick right there on the floor.
But you adjust–after a week you’ll be all: “I am ROCKING this solo gig!” It gets a little lonely at times, but that’s why we have Skype and telephones and instant messaging, right?
Just try to have contact with someone over the age of 18 every day (okay, fine, sometimes I’ve settled for talking to a 12 year old for conversation that doesn’t revolve around poop) and you’ll be great.
Hell, you HOMESCHOOLED. If you can handle that, you can handle one tiny month. Kick ass, sister. Congrats on the house.
BTW- Sorry to derail in the comment conversation, but @Cindy, what ship is your BIL on? It’s always great to run into other sailor families. We are few and far between! Fair winds and safe travel to your BIL.
Super excited for you. Sometimes you have to toe-dip a little before the dreams really come true. It’s all going to be great.
I think you will do great! This is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of deal, and your boys will get to grow up close to family.
On a completely unrelated note- I found the blog of a woman who’s story is some-what similar to yours. I found it very interesting and wanted you to see it: http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/about-me
Sooooooooo excited for you! Congrats you guys! :) Stressful but exciting.
You’ll be fine! We did it for six months- January to June so the kids could finish the school year- and it really did go by pretty fast since there is so much to do before moving. Congrats!
My brother and I have a joke about being fiiiiiine! Fucked up Insecure Nerotic and Emotional! But really, you will be fine :) Such an exciting time for all of you!
First of all, this gives me hope for when it’s time to put our house up for sale.
Second, Amy’s fiiinnnne comment is so spot on!
When we returned to Destin, FL, after living in Jacksonville, FL, my husband moved back 6 weeks before the kids and I did. It was rough, but worth it to have things less complicated. Maybe, like me, you’ll be so busy that the weeks will go by quickly.