“Look at this one, Mommy!” It was Friday morning, and Dylan had dragged two pillows to the base of the short carpeted steps from the living area to the family room/crap storage area in order to launch himself into the air and onto a soft landing. It’s the sort of thing he’s done about a million times before (“I’m Felix Baumgartner!”) but five seconds later he was curled up and weeping on the floor, holding his left foot.

Ahhh SHIT, I thought. Not again.

Getting actual medical treatment for his injury was comically difficult — we went to the pediatrician on Friday, who sent us to the hospital imaging center, who didn’t turn back the X-ray results until today, at which point we were sent to an orthopedics center, and finally to a casting specialist — but the end result was a bright yellow/green cast (“You want Ducks colors, little man?” the guy said, and I sent frantic mental vibes to Dylan to choose something a little less eye-bleedingly neon but nooooo, DUCKS COLORS IT IS) and instructions to return in four weeks.

He’s got a fracture at the top of his foot at the base of his big toe, and christ almighty has he ever been a stoic kid about the whole thing. All weekend long he gamely crawled, hopped, or butt-scooted since he couldn’t put weight on his foot, he held about as still as it’s possible for a four-year-old to be for the X-rays and casting, and now he’s galloping around like he’s been wearing a clunky fiberglass boot all his life.

Pulled tooth? Done. Cast? Checked that box. Jesus, we’re on a roll lately.







(The Bone Fairy made another last-minute Amazon order for that stuffed whistlepig. We need to get our shit together around here before I go broke buying guilt presents.)


20 Responses to “Breaking bad”

  1. melanie on November 19th, 2012 7:56 pm

    seriously we are leading parallel lives only pulled tooth and fractured limb were on same child at the same time. Hard to tell but did he get a waterproof cast… those things are awesome, unless of course your child has a bit of a reaction to Gortex as mine did.

  2. honeybecke on November 19th, 2012 8:12 pm

    Ho boy. Dylan is a real sport it sounds like! Yup, these boys and their casts oh my word! My sweetums broke his elbow when he was 3 and I found Press and Seal wrap works wonders for a base layer when keeping it clean/dry(ish). That shit just sticks to itself like crazy!
    Best of luck to you guys during the healing cast period. I’ll email you a link to my youtube video of E getting his cast off…not sure if Dylan will be apprehensive about it but it might help to see it being done? (It’s not so bad really, but the saw might be a little scary?)
    With all that being said, and not that it needs to be said anymore but really, I just cannot believe how long it took for you guys to get from break to cast. WTF is wrong with that hospital?? We went to the emergency room where they x-rayed it and then went straight to the orthopedics office and had it cast all within about 6 hours. I feel so bad for you guys to have had to wait all weekend…that is just nuts!

  3. honeybecke on November 19th, 2012 8:18 pm

    Oops sorry I forgot I deleted that cast off video but there are a ton of youtube that you can show him if you wanna.

  4. Sarah on November 19th, 2012 8:23 pm

    My brother and I had a competition to see who could jump the farthest from the bed. Moving the pillow further back for each jump. I won, he broke his leg… Must be a boy thing. (though I have sat in the ER multiple times for my daughter’s dislocated elbow)

    Can’t believe you had to wait that long for diagnosis and casting. I hope the next 4 weeks aren’t as painful. It’s amazing how kids adapt to whatever…at least it’s not July!

  5. Melissa on November 19th, 2012 8:35 pm

    Poor guy. I think you just need to stock up on guilt presents and hide them away. Save some of that Amazon rush shipping ;)

  6. Victoria on November 19th, 2012 9:55 pm

    He’s going to be a world class.. something! Dirt biker, snowboarder, something! And you’ll be able to say, bone break #422 or something :)

  7. Kami on November 19th, 2012 10:37 pm


  8. Kris on November 20th, 2012 6:17 am

    Sending healing, non-itchy thoughts to Dylan.

    My kid was launching himself from the top of the couch onto his bean bag chair last night, but missed & SLAMMED onto the bare floor. Gah! I thought he broke both of his legs; but rubber-bones-boy just shook it off.

    And to think, we were so happy when we found out we were having boys! ;) Crash junkies, the whole stinkin’ lot of them.

  9. Em on November 20th, 2012 7:10 am

    Oh, poor guy. Glad to hear it hasn’t slowed him down one bit, though!

    Also: what is a whistlepig? I am apparently out of the loop.

  10. Aunt Linda on November 20th, 2012 8:00 am

    What in the holy hell is that blue monster toothy thing that Riley is holding in Photo 1? Have I made a mistake all these years buying in the direction of Cute vs Terrifying? I clearly need to reassess his Christmas gifts. Plant kisses on both boys for me.

  11. Erin on November 20th, 2012 10:11 am

    I have one at home in the same state. Urgent care Doctor was certain is was “a soft tissue injury” and then I heard him exclaim “Huh” while looking at the x-rays. Nope, chipped a piece of bone right off the side of his foot! From one broken foot to another, we wish Dylan a speedy recovery!

  12. H on November 20th, 2012 10:53 am

    I’m sorry about the injury! “The Bone Fairy” made me laugh. Happy Thanksgiving!

  13. Julia on November 20th, 2012 11:03 am

    HA I did the exact same thing. Only I was ten. And I broke one ankle, sprained the other. WOO. Poor kid, I like his green cast. We didn’t have fancy colors when I was young. woe!

  14. jobonga on November 21st, 2012 7:16 am

    Oh man. I hope you bought something for yourself, too. Something with melted cheese or chocolate. Medical catastrophes aside, your boys have the best hair. I have widow’s peak envy.

  15. Keri on November 21st, 2012 8:48 am

    Aww, poor Dyl! Hope he heals quick. One question though: why do you feel that you need to buy him a guilt present? You didn’t cause him to be injured. It was a freak accident and it happens to even the best of us. If anything, buying him guilt presents would only encourage him to do more daredevil acts so he can get more presents. :P

  16. Anne on November 21st, 2012 12:48 pm

    When did D become such a BOY? I am STUNNED how boy-like his legs and feet are. He’s so long! What happened to the toddler chub? Man he grew fast.

  17. Redbecca on November 22nd, 2012 7:07 pm

    Brave Dylan! Good on ya, dude. And don’t listen to your mom, those colors rock!

  18. Sheryl on November 26th, 2012 5:49 pm

    Every time I see a leg cast, I have this olfactory flashback to the STENCH (OH, THE STENCH) when my daughter got her leg cast off. Hopefully a 4 year-old boy foot encased in a cast during the late fall will not stink as much as a 12 year-old girl foot did that summer she had a cast.

  19. TheGoriWife on November 27th, 2012 8:36 am

    Oh wow! We had the almost exact same timeline and injury – broken below the big toe on a Friday afternoon, no one in the world was worried about having to wait through the weekend to get it set/casted. That was almost three years ago I think, now it all seems a distant memory. Six weeks only for our kid, a bit of a limp walking/running around for a few months after that the doctor said would resolve on its own – which it did. Hoping for a speedy recovery for you guys!

  20. val on December 13th, 2012 12:00 am

    I hope he heals quickly! and hey, GO DUCKS!

Leave a Reply