I have sometimes wondered: had I fully known what it was going to be like to work from home, would I still have pursued a freelance career? What if I could have peered into my future and seen how the years of daily deadlines would almost completely drain my desire to write for pleasure? If I could have understood the isolation, the loss of self, the often-unrewarding long-term homemaker grind, would it still have felt like a dream coming true?

I think so (I hope so). But I do miss writing here. I miss you.

Comments

33 Responses to “Hindsight”

  1. Meagan on September 20th, 2013 3:18 pm

    We miss you too! But you look pretty happy in the photos you’ve been posting.

  2. Kristen on September 20th, 2013 3:22 pm

    We miss you too! But we’ll be right here when you come back!

  3. Kim on September 20th, 2013 3:23 pm

    I understand, as I’ve finally reached a goal of reading/editing for a living and now barely have time to read for pleasure which is my favorite thing on earth. Selfishly though, I’m thankful to be able to read you in any forum.

  4. Pete on September 20th, 2013 3:24 pm

    That’s why I don’t pursue my dreams. I admire you for taking the chance.

  5. Jeannie on September 20th, 2013 3:25 pm

    One of the things I learned while on maternity leave in Canada for a year: I hate being a SAHM. I am a much better mom when I work part time out of the house. I’m very lucky that I could do that, I admit, with onsite and excellent daycare. If it hadn’t worked, I contemplated staying home and freelancing but I just wasn’t sure if I could make that work.

    I know it works for many other people, and I am glad for them — and it sounds like you are making it work too. But the fact is that no solution is perfect — not mine either!

  6. honeybecke on September 20th, 2013 3:26 pm

    So change it up and work at the Goodwill. Drive Meals on Wheels for old people. Go to college and suck on skittles to stay awake until you realize you already know how to fucking write,and write well. (WE already know that)It would all be great stuff for writing a book. You know, that book we all know you’ll pound out in blood, sweat and tears one day? Yeah that one.
    We miss you too.

  7. kathleenicanrah on September 20th, 2013 3:26 pm

    Looking at your pictures yesterday, I kept thinking of that post, and thinking “oh, they ARE living the dream.” You’ll get to write here and live the dream some day soon I hope.

  8. Michele on September 20th, 2013 3:32 pm

    We all miss you, too! I think it’s time for a nice superficial post, though. Beauty products that don’t suck, how you curl your hair, etc. Terrible, I know!

  9. Jen on September 20th, 2013 4:19 pm

    We miss you too! I started working from home full time last August after we made a big cross-country move to our dream area (Vancouver Island). I also write, but as a Technical Writer, so a little different. I understand though, it is a dream come true to work from home and live just where I want to, but it can be difficult to fill both the full time career and full time homemaker / child care roles simultaneously. I still wouldn’t change it for the world, but there are definitely tough days!

  10. Lisa on September 20th, 2013 4:47 pm

    I hear you. I have a full time job where I feed content to a website daily & create graphics & take photos for other creative projects there. Part of me is thrilled I am using my creative talents to earn a good living, but the other part of me doesn’t like that doing creative projects outside of the office often feels like a Busman’s Holiday. Well, nothing’s perfect, I suppose!

  11. laura g on September 20th, 2013 5:20 pm

    I’ll still be here! Loving even the occasional update!

  12. Justine on September 20th, 2013 5:32 pm

    Oh Sundry! At the risk of sounding like a mouth breathing stalker, I still check your site every day in case there is an update – and I’ll keep on doing it too!!!

  13. Katalia on September 20th, 2013 6:36 pm

    I’m not a mom, but I do work from home as a Project Manager and technical writer, so I know how isolating that can be. I started working from home full-time when we moved to Portland, OR. I forget how much of life in a new city is defined by the people you meet through work. I have some really good friends here in Portland, but most of them are SAHM, and we can never seem to get our schedules to jive to hang out. Add to that the fact that my husband works mostly evenings, and I am starting to wonder if I should do something else. I’m trying to get out, and do more things, and I LOVE the flexibility of my freelance schedule, but man am I lonely sometimes. I’m just trying to remember that this is what I wanted.

    Also, I find that I have no desire to write for pleasure when I spend all day in front of a computer writing for work, sigh.

  14. Victoria on September 20th, 2013 8:18 pm

    Miss you too, but totally understand and support

  15. Jennie on September 20th, 2013 9:19 pm

    I can’t say this very often about , but I get SO excited when you write a new post. Your words are just . . . they’re life rafts, is what they are.

  16. Maggie on September 20th, 2013 9:35 pm

    I read and write for a living and it’s the primary reason why I’ve never even started a blog. Twitter seems to be about all I can bring myself to do outside the office. I don’t read as much as I used to and never deep thoughtful books because I’m just so done with it at the end of the day. So I totally get why writing here isn’t happening as often, but I will continue to wait and watch for posts no matter how irregular because they are alway worth reading ever after work has left me feeling all read out.

  17. angela on September 21st, 2013 12:38 am

    i miss you too. but i also read your tweets and every other site you write on. your followers will follow you. though i think we all very much enjoy your personal site.

  18. NancyB on September 21st, 2013 4:51 am

    I know just what you mean!
    I work at home for my husbands business. It’s lonely by myself and I’ve lost my conversational skills! Many days I wish I worked outside the house so I could go and get away! Escape! But it’s what we do.
    What you are doing right now works for you and your kids and husband. It might not be forever – life is always changing.
    In the meantime, I have you in my subscription feeds, follow you on twitter, Pintrest (stalk much).
    Heck I had a dream last night and you and Lindsay Ferrier were in it!! Her kids were, didn’t see Riley or Dylan anywhere. It was weird.

  19. Donna on September 21st, 2013 10:11 am

    Dude, we are all still here.
    We will ALWAYS be here!

  20. Melissa Filanowicz on September 21st, 2013 10:44 am

    Like Justine, at the risk of sounding like a crazed lunatic fan…I love when a new post of yours pops up in my email.
    Further, there’s no reason why dreams can’t change…so you’ve done this…now do something else?

  21. C on September 21st, 2013 11:14 am

    I won’t lie, I miss the days when you wrote more, but it’s good, it’s cool.
    If I could’ve looked into the future and seen what the last five years held, would I be here today? I don’t know, but having done it I can’t imagine not having tried. Didn’t totally realize the whole of that statement till I saw it in writing.

  22. sooboo on September 21st, 2013 5:30 pm

    I hear ya sister! I have been living my dream for about 7 years now and I have had to sacrifice a lot to make it happen. I also am home alone for long stretches and it has made being around people harder for me. I don’t think I’d change it either though. After all, how many people get to say they make drawings for a living? I miss your writing here but I do read you over at Cafe Mom because whatever you write about, you have the same funny, warm, honest, sometimes biting voice that I love.

  23. sara on September 21st, 2013 10:25 pm

    Nothing is permanent.. It might not feel like it but you can change things.. Sometimes you just have to wait for the right time though and that’s the hard part, patience. Think of how you guys had the dream of moving but how long it took to actually achieve it. You won’t be stuck in a rut forever, even though it may feel that way. Try to be excited for all possibilities that lie ahead for you!

  24. Tia on September 23rd, 2013 6:30 am

    No worries. I’m happy when there’s a new post and understand when there’s not. And it’s not like I have to look far for you somewhere else.

  25. laziza on September 23rd, 2013 9:36 am

    Totally understandable, on many levels. And good for me to hear, if you don’t mind the selfishness. :) I’m the “breadwinner” and am struggling to amass enough freelance clients to quit my full-time job — but I don’t have the time to amass clients until I quit my full-time job, so… Maybe I just need to breathe and remember that there are pros and cons to both.

  26. SS+1 on September 23rd, 2013 9:44 am

    Ebbs and Flows. It will return….I have faith :)

  27. Masshole on September 23rd, 2013 9:48 am

    I am devastated at the thought of you retiring this blog. It makes feel human and some what normal.

  28. Amber on September 24th, 2013 8:48 am

    I understand 100%. I thought I always wanted to be a SAHM, and don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade it. But it is HARD. It’s lonely, it’s isolating, and it’s not for everyone. I love being here for my girls, especially my littlest, but sometimes I miss adult conversation. I used to love to blog, but I have a hard time now because I feel like I don’t have much to say. That’s my own hang up, admittedly, but there it is. And again, while I miss some aspects of a job outside the home, I am happier doing this than I ever was in any job, and my kids are happier, so I think it’s worth the occasional blue mood :)

  29. dorrie on September 24th, 2013 10:11 am

    I miss you too. But there is still Twitter, etc. We are all busy, we all understand.

  30. Karen on September 25th, 2013 11:25 am

    I started working from home this year. I was SO excited when I started, and now I realize that I don’t enjoy how easily the lines between work and home-life blur, making it feel as though I never leave work. I also hate that I end up feeling obligated to do the majority of the housework during my lunch breaks, which makes me feel like my life is never-ending drudgery. The worst part is feeling like a total tool when I complain about it.

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