Before you mock, you should know that the Brown Lagoose is the deadliest of all the wall spiders.

In retrospect it may be that in the moment I wasn't fully capable of accurately assessing its size

I can see the "read" part of the text, you know.

Riley also said it may have been a black widow. It's possible he can't be trusted.


63 Responses to “Being married to me is awesome and not at all tedious”

  1. Lindsey on August 7th, 2014 8:54 am

    Laughing so hard I can barely breathe. So good.

  2. Melissa A. on August 7th, 2014 10:30 am

    And he doesn’t seem the least bit surprised by this…

  3. maggie on August 7th, 2014 10:32 am

    Glad I’m not the only one! Recently I was getting ready for bed and spotted a HUGE black spider on my pillow!!!! I tried to get it but failed and to this day have no idea where it went. I am terrified of these guys and haven’t slept in my bed since. My husband doesn’t help me with this shit. According to the neighbor kid next door these are european house spiders and quite frankly, they need to go back to Europe! I feel your terror!

  4. Charlene on August 7th, 2014 10:33 am

    this would be me with my husband. mister nonchlant and me screaming like a banshee. glad the brown lagoose is gone.

  5. Maggie on August 7th, 2014 10:37 am

    SO funny. I inadvertently hovered over the images and the tags are really the best!! “It’s possible he can’t be trusted” Ha!

  6. mona on August 7th, 2014 11:08 am

    he couldn’t even text out the whole word. in case you p yourself. hahaha. also this guy in in my neighborhood burned down his house because he tried to kill a spider with a blow torch. very climatic!

  7. Sarah on August 7th, 2014 10:34 pm

    I’m so glad I went back to hover and read the tags. Also, I need you to provide commentary for my life. That was hysterical!

  8. Emily Greenberg on August 8th, 2014 4:53 am

    I use the vacuum cleaner as my spider killer. The long pole thingy insures I dont have to get close at all. Just suck them up in the tank, no mess, no possibility of it falling on me.

  9. Kim on August 8th, 2014 6:39 am

    Peed a little.
    What a perfect way to boost my already Friday good mood.

  10. Pete on August 8th, 2014 7:03 am


  11. Jane K. on August 8th, 2014 10:43 am

    Love it thanks for the smiles!

  12. Amoreena on August 11th, 2014 7:28 am

    You are not alone. My husband is a police officer and I made him come home from work once to kill a (BIG) spider. I still haven’t lived it down.

  13. Rachel on September 1st, 2014 4:06 pm

    I have to tell you- I started reading your blog years ago when you were pre-children and the funniest, coolest woman my teenage self had ever known. Then you had kids and I quit following you since it was a world I couldnt relate to. Fast forward and I now have a baby. I remembered how funny and awesome your blog was and googled you… and here you are! Still funny and cool! Thanks for still being awesome, 10 years later.

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