Last Wednesday Dog had her spay surgery, which went fine except for the part where I had to hand her leash over to the nice vet assistant and walk away while Dog tucked her tail between her legs, tried to follow me, was brought up short, and looked at me, you know, with her face. Then I picked her up several hours later and she walked over to me, all druggy and confused, and pressed her nose against my legs, like thank god you’re back you won’t BELIEVE what they did to me. O, the guilt.

Anyway, she recovered nicely but they sent me home with this GIANT sheet of heavy clear plastic with strips of velcro running down the sides. This was Dog’s Elizabethan collar, a.k.a. the cone of shame. It was intended to stop her from licking or biting her incision, but when I put it on the next day — not without a struggle, getting the ends to overlap enough to attack the velcro was nearly impossible — she just … stood there, head hanging straight down towards the floor. I don’t actually think it was physically too difficult to lift, but she was weighted down with SORROW. It really did feel torturous, and it somehow made it worse that she patiently endured it instead of trying to get away from us.

Labs mostly come in four modes: 1) YAY, 2) derp, 3) zzzzzzz, and 4) WOE. But there’s Lab woe like Oh jesus is that a slice of turkey wow it looks really good by the way I am literally starving to death and there’s I don’t know why you’re hurting me but I love you anyway woe. That’s the kind of woe we were causing her with that ridiculous cone, which I suppose she may have eventually gotten used to but in the meantime all she could do was stand in one place all spooky-like, sort of like the end of The Blair Witch Project. Even JB, who isn’t nearly as much of a sucker as I am, shook his head and said sympathetically, “Legit shits the bed, Dog.”

I found some sort of inflatable donut collar at the pet store to try instead, but then a clever friend on Instagram shared that she’d put an old t-shirt on her dog instead of using the cone. An easy, comfortable, free solution that’s also hilarious-looking? SOLD. So that’s why Dog has been sporting one of JB’s shirts for the last few days. I think she looks quite nice.

dog smock

like, OBVIOUSLY a smock

The Hanes tag? They're branching out. Into post-surgical veterinary supplies.

JB: “Is that my shirt?”
Me: “No, of course not. That is a smock. A medical dog smock. From the medical dog smock store.”

Ruby’s prior owner gave us this massive folder that included her medical records, AKC stuff, and what amounts to a nicer scrapbook than I ever made for my own children. Photos, glittery stickers, the whole nine yards. There are printed poems and quotes scattered throughout, and here is one I can’t read without my eyes getting hot and my nose starting to run:

Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, “I cannot bear to watch,” or “Let it happen in my absence.” Everything is easier for me if you are there, even my death.

When an animal shows you nothing but love, it’s so hard to cause them discomfort. You know it’s for their benefit, but they don’t. All they know is they trust you. God, it’s a big responsibility, you know? And now I know why dogs get fat, it’s because we want to give them ALL THE TURKEYS to try and tell them, thank you, I’m sorry, I love you too.

I have never had food. It is very sad.

Comments

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
74 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
trackback
9 years ago

asics kayano 17 women…

Whats Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It absolutely helpful and it has helped me out loads. I’m hoping to contribute & help different customers like its aided me. Good job.
asics gt 2000 zappos
review asics gel blur 33

trackback
9 years ago

SEO Services…

Everything is easier for me if you are there : All & Sundry…

trackback
9 years ago

Branta Canada Goose…

Aviator Sunglasses Women Ray Ban GSfdhytu2014…

バーバリー 財布 メンズ どう

いただきました!アップちょっとちょっとオフトピックの私がしたこれは|場合にはブログはWYSIWYGエディタを使用する場合は疑問に知りたいか手動でHTMLでコーディングする必要があります。私はすぐにブログを開始するが、全くコーディングがないんだノウハウ私が取得したい|経験のある人から助言指導を。認め|すべてのヘルプは非常に大きくだろう!

Woolrich Primavera Estate 2013

Michael Kors Watches Rose Gold GSfdhytu2014

Woolrich Piumini
9 years ago

Promo Codes Michael Kors Ry7

pandora jewellery
8 years ago

If 100 million households get one of these each week that’s 280 million ounces (7.
pandora jewellery

pandora charm bracelet

As well as online to fid beauty item n the market n the web, you may also need to use the internet to find moneysaving coupos.
pandora charm bracelet

pandora charms uk
8 years ago

por lo tanto lo que se sumará a esta do de la empresa para usted.
pandora charms uk

pandora jewelry
8 years ago

Face-to-face with Erin, Jamie sticks with his partner and off on the bust.
pandora jewelry

pandora jewellery
8 years ago

Among the fish we examined were a red three-spot barb (Barbus candens), an African knife fish (Xenomystus nigri), a blue-spangled jewel fish (Hemichromis sp.
pandora jewellery

pandora charms
8 years ago

OpenStack, however, has matured a lot over the last 2 years and more companies have deployed their clouds on the platform.
pandora charms

www.mixtogo.com
8 years ago

This angular Alexander Wang clutch has a smooth leather exterior with contrast edges. The short snake-chain handle connects to a two-way zip top, and sturdy feet detail the base. The lined interior has 2 pockets and an attached makeup mirror. Dust bag included. Leather: Cowhide. Weight: 20oz / 0.57kg. Imported, China. MEASUREMENTS Height: 5in / 13cm Length: 7in / 18cm Depth: 2.5in/ 6.5cm

ニューバランス 靴 韓国 通販

General Air Max Shoes Company Dialog : Who cares triumphs .
ニューバランス 靴 韓国 通販

ニューバランス ホワイト

The Amazing Nike Air ‘cheat’ which Nearly all.
ニューバランス ホワイト

nike jordan after game 2

Its a gift for my best friend, she was quite satisfied. Thank you for best service and good product.—-Sophie

Laila
3 years ago

I always feel amazed when I see dogs and cats getting along