Thank you for the med-taking suggestions. I think the pillbox/app reminder combo ought to do the trick. Maybe I can even also remember to take, like, a vitamin! I mean while OBVIOUSLY I have an incredibly varied, seasonal, nutrient-rich diet (last night I had seven pieces of Swiss cheese for dinner followed by a spoonful of peanut butter) a little supplementation can’t hurt.



I was in line at a craft store the other day, one of those Jesusy mega-stores that rhymes with Swabby Knobby, and I was sort of staring off into space and switching my basket from one arm to the other and mentally whistling idly when the couple I was behind suddenly turned around and said, “Oh! We aren’t in line.” That’s when I realized they were just looking at a display, and in fact there was no line whatsoever, and the nearest cashier was quite a ways away. I was just … standing there, creepily close to a couple of strangers, emanating a vaguely impatient vibe like maybe they needed to hurry up and decide already if they wanted the twinkle light mason jar or the novelty chalkboard stickers.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I thought there was a wait!” I said, flustered, waving my hands in a weird interpretive-dance manner that I guess was meant to artistically indicate that my behavior couldn’t be helped on account of the spinning seal I have in my skull instead of a brain.

“Well, we just looked like we were in line,” the woman said, reassuringly.


Dylan got his first Incident Report at school this week, a serious enough offense that his teacher emailed me about it and he had to have a discussion with the principal. Apparently everyone was getting ready at the end of the day and even though it was several minutes before the final bell rang, Dylan and another kid bailed. Just walked out the classroom and left. I’m fairly convinced that he didn’t do it mischievously or even purposefully, I think he saw another kid leaving and he was like, oh, okay, must be time to go home. We did lecture him about not, you know, escaping from school grounds before the teacher has given the okay, and maybe being more aware of context clues such as empty hallways and no one outside and no buses having arrived and and and (I realize this is a pot/kettle situation given the above story), but overall I am kind of enjoying the combo of horror and delight he’s been going through ever since the INCIDENT REPORT. On the one hand, he’s a good kid who never ever gets in trouble at school and that was clearly distressing for him, and on the other, he seems to also be feeling a teeny tiny bit like:


11 Responses to “This and that”

  1. Kristi on December 1st, 2017 2:49 pm

    Well congrats on your first incident report. Not sure what took you so long, but if I we are racing you are behind, like, 5 ….

    Thanks for being normal. Or at the very least for making me look normal.

  2. Kristi on December 1st, 2017 2:50 pm

    …if normal is even a real word….

  3. Pete on December 1st, 2017 4:25 pm

    Normal is what everybody else is.
    My son made the Honor Roll so I got him the puppy he wanted. When he asked to spend the next day at home to take care of (play with) the puppy I said sure. The next day I get called into his school because he brought his puppy in and was supposed to be sick. I had to lecture him on the common sense of not showing up at school when he was supposed to be sick. A good kid who didn’t think it through.

  4. Hannah on December 1st, 2017 9:59 pm

    Please write a book. PPPLLLEEEAAASSSEEE.

  5. Misti on December 4th, 2017 12:33 pm

    As a huge fun of said store, I actually hate buying anything there because it takes forrrrrrrr-evvvvvvvveeeeerrrrr for the lines to move and to actually check out. I TOTALLY understand why you’d think there’d be a wait. Because there ALWAYS is. And yes, please write a book.

  6. LORI CHADA on December 4th, 2017 1:09 pm

    OMG! That standing in a non-line is exactly what I would do too. ROFL with you!!

  7. Amy on December 7th, 2017 2:48 pm

    Swabby Lobby made me snort

  8. Amy on December 7th, 2017 2:49 pm

    Knobby. Dammit

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