Writing more often is one of my goals for 2018, so if the (probably super temporarily? But no: thinking positive) increased post volume has you regretting signing up for notifications, you can always unsubscribe at the bottom of this page. Also, if you’ve recently experienced weird malware warnings from this site, I’m so sorry! I don’t know why that keeps happening, but I am grateful for a very smart and patient friend who keeps fixing it for me.

So, we are taking the boys to Vegas in a couple weeks, which definitely seems like a good way to not enjoy the best parts of Vegas. (Goodbye Japanese-Peruvian fusion cuisine, hello Cheesecake Factory!) I’m thinking we’ll try and hit up some things like the roller coaster at New York New York, the Mandalay shark reef, that giant Ferris Wheel … I don’t know, maybe swing by Fremont Street and show the kids where Daddy once bought Mommy a legit megahot lap dance? Or, well, maybe that cheesy-looking Midway carnival at Circus Circus.

Really we just booked it because John already had a hotel room for a weeklong conference, so it seemed like a relatively affordable getaway during a dreary time of year. The four of us will head there together on a Sunday, then I’ll take the boys home Tuesday morning.

It’s weird, I had a brief moment of uncertainty over the prospect of flying alone with the kids, before remembering that the odds of anyone shrieking for hours at a time or loudly squirting a noxious load of liquid waste into their pants are pretty low, and if such a thing did happen I would surely have a bigger problem on my hands than disturbing a fellow coach passenger.

The last time I was truly freaked about being on a plane with a kid was back in 2009, when I took Riley to Washington D.C. I’m so glad I documented it, because now I can remember little details I absolutely would have forgotten, and marvel at how long ago that seems. Aw, back when Riley was so little! Aw, back when brands were doing crazy things like sending no-name bloggers across the country for basically zero return on investment!

Anyway, Dylan in particular is losing his mind with excitement about our upcoming trip. “Will we see the actual Las Vegas strip?” he asked, in the sort of awestruck tone normally reserved for moon landings. “Do we get to drive right down it?” Oh man, wait until he sees that there are LIVE PIRATES. Also, lots of boobs.


13 Responses to “Sin City: PG version”

  1. Sarah on January 7th, 2018 12:15 pm

    Sorry to be a bummer, but they actually got rid of the pirate show at Treasure Island!
    I work at the Concierge at New York-New York so I hope I have the chance to say hello when you come ride the coaster!

  2. Linda on January 7th, 2018 12:16 pm

    What!! Aw, MAN.

  3. Penne on January 7th, 2018 12:18 pm

    I remember your DC trip with Riley! I remember thinking what a badass mom you were.

    And I’m glad you’re writing. Something about your voice and font make my head happy.

  4. Kelly on January 7th, 2018 12:34 pm

    We had a wedding there when our daughter was a flower girl at 18 months old. Yes, a lot of people give you the WTF side-eye when you are there with kids, but there’s plenty of fun stuff to do. Olives’ restaurant at Bellagio you can eat outside with a view onto the Bellagio fountains. It’s mediterranean fare and they have pizza so the kiddos should be content while the grown-ups still get something really nice.

  5. Andrea on January 7th, 2018 7:26 pm

    No pirates? That sucks. I haven’t been to Vegas with kids since they were trying to market it as a great place for a family vacation. Was there, in the same kind of situation you are, Dad was going to be there for a week for a conference, I flew with the kids for the final weekend.

    My duckling was just there for the Vegas Bowl. They stayed at the Mandalay Bay. She and her friends (some who were not legal) enjoyed the Shark experience, visited the lions at MGM. and spent one evening enjoying the Fremont Street Experience. They have a zip line, but I have no idea what kind of age or other restrictions there are. Is there still a Midieval Times at Ex Calibur? Who wouldn’t want to eat with the possibility of a falcon landing in their soup?
    Whatever you choose to do, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of fun things to do.

  6. Andrea on January 7th, 2018 7:28 pm

    P.S. We also rented a car and drove out to Hoover Dam, and did a tour. I was suprised, but everyone enjoyed it.

  7. Donna Plumley Brubach on January 7th, 2018 7:58 pm

    Do the Excalibur dinner show, does the mirage still have the volcano, the lions, the dolphins, and Fremont street is always a freak show. Def drive down the strip at night.

  8. Anonymous on January 8th, 2018 10:09 am

    Oh my goodness. Delete the part about unsubscribing right this minute. This is a dream come true for everyone, no matter how temporary it may be (hopefully not temporary at all), and you gotta own it.

  9. misguidedmommy on January 8th, 2018 3:19 pm

    If you are going to Vegas you HAVE to go to the Donut Bar. It’s in a shady area…just do it. Get 1- creme brulee, a strawberry short cake, their apple fritter is insanity and the oreo birthday cake is stellar.

    then, around the corner is the container park. It’s rad. Has food, shops, and a kids play area.

    but seriously..get the donuts.

  10. Em on January 8th, 2018 9:16 pm

    So happy to hear you’re going to be writing more! Your posts are always funny, honest and thoughtful. Can’t wait to read more this year!

  11. Mike Wilson on January 8th, 2018 11:58 pm

    I… wait a minute… didn’t you write the Japanese-Peruvian cuisine and the Cheesecake Factory backwards?

  12. Jen on January 9th, 2018 7:39 pm

    I was there 2 years ago and did the coaster at NY NY and it was a pretty hardcore ride! I guess in my older years I have lost my zeal for the near death experience of roller coasters. I did really enjoy the Body exhibit at Luxor, maybe the boys would like seeing what bodies really look like on the inside! :) we also went out to the desert & rented dune buggies and a guide led us around- I was too chicken to drive but enjoyed riding around & the scenery was quite pretty. Hope you have a fun trip!

  13. rebecca on January 10th, 2018 4:51 pm

    Vegas is my home. Check out the Bellagio conservatory and fountain show and do the NY NY roller coaster. I’m meh about all things Fremont Street. The Neon Museum (just down the road) might be fun. If you want to get off strip to some decent food, Metro Pizza is close enough by cab or uber and worth it. Hope my city behaves itself for you. We have truly not been ourselves in a few months here but the new year seems to be bringing out the best here!

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