It is downright balmy here in Oregon compared to many parts of the country currently experiencing temperatures that don’t even start with an actual number because it’s so cold there has to be a symbol first and the minus sign was in use long before the far more appropriate hands-clasped-to-cheeks-open-mouth holy crap! emoticon, but it IS January and therefore the Great Thermostat Wars have been underway for many weeks.

I hate to be a living cliché but I like it much warmer than John and thus we are constantly at odds over the right winter temperature setting. Admittedly it is hard to argue with his point that the person who is cold can always put on more layers but my feeling is that since he has repeatedly chosen hobbies that involve being cold — winter hunting, SCUBA diving, snow camping — he clearly doesn’t mind it. Like Elsa, he welcomes the discomfort of low temperatures, therefore shouldn’t the house environment be geared towards the person who does not at all enjoy the sensation of impending frostbite?

Plus, I feel like the entire point of living in a house is so that you have shelter from all the unpleasant elements of the great outdoors. Isn’t that why we all get so frustrated when fruit flies take over the kitchen? You’re like: UM I DON’T THINK SO YOU’RE AN OUTSIDE THING. Being inside means you shouldn’t have to bat aside clouds of insects all day, startle a grizzly bear when you stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night, or be forced to wear sixteen sweatshirts plus a pair of novelty fuzzy socks.

He has rudely drawn attention to the fact that his parents infamously keep their house at a temperature I can only describe as “a broiler set to high which is also on the surface of the sun” and my habit of bumping up our thermostat may be linked to my recent inability to switch between peering at a phone and peering at a faraway object without ten full minutes to adjust, meaning I am chilly because I am getting old, but 1) I’m setting the damn thing to 68 degrees here, not 5 MILLION, and 2) shut right up before I whack you with my cane.

We usually find a compromise but of all the deeply lame forms of rebellion I enjoy these days my favorite might be watching his truck pull out of the driveway then heading straight to the little Honeywell box on the wall. SIXTY-NINE, BITCHES.


22 Responses to “You’re in the great game now”

  1. Faith on January 10th, 2018 10:01 am

    I had to convert 69 to Celsius (I’m in Canada) and then my eyes bugged out of my head because we can’t run our house any lower than about 72 before the tip of my nose is cold and I’m walking around clutching a blanket around my shoulders. Granted, things are a lot less humid here, and maybe that’s why? Anyway, I am staunchly on your side of this particular battle.

  2. Kelly on January 10th, 2018 10:12 am

    It is actually the opposite in our home – my husband is ALWAYS cold! Currently I am home more so I have a greater appreciation for the low number on the thermostat but am refusing to cave to his desire for a warmer setting. Hence, the runny nose, wool socks, several layers and when idle, a blanket. Gotta love winter in MN!

  3. Erin on January 10th, 2018 10:41 am

    I think my electric/hydro bill would double if not triple if I tried to keep things at 68. I also wouldn’t be able to breathe lol! That’s a lot of wasted energy/money! 63-65 is where we keep ours. Maybe eat some cayenne pepper in your diet to improve your circulation? Wool socks/sweater will help too!

  4. Lisa on January 10th, 2018 11:31 am

    This same fight this morning. Husband refuses to acknowledge math, denies that moving thermostat up or down a degree or two will significantly impact cost. Therefor wears shorts as leisure wear in the house all year round and has bumped the normal setting of 72 up to 73 due to the cold snap. I’m teetering on the edge of menopause and one of us may not make it out of the thermostat wars alive. As an aside, I’m happy you’re writing regularly again. I’ve been reading you and quietly lurking since before Riley was born.

  5. Katherine on January 10th, 2018 2:05 pm

    Hit him where it’s important: threaten to take testosterone so you can feel as warm as he does on a daily basis. Plus you can grow a beard as nice as his!

  6. Donna Plumley Brubach on January 10th, 2018 2:18 pm

    68 is perfect. I was working in the house the other day since I am currently unemployed and turned the heater off. I woke up the next morning and the house was at 58. There were lots of clothes that day.

  7. Mary on January 10th, 2018 2:25 pm

    I keep my thermostat in the 62-64 range as a money saver. And because the more blankets I have to lie under, the better.

  8. honeybecke on January 10th, 2018 4:13 pm

    OK I’m going to be annoying, but I have to ask: hows your thyroid?
    I was always the cold one in my house, and my family was like, why are your hands and feet ice cold bricks and ours are warm and fine?
    Turns out I’m hypothyroid (that sluggish fuck!) and now that I’m on some meds I’m not nearly as cold. And we live in Alaska where although climate change is apparent in our warmer temps, it’s still cold AF.

  9. Karen on January 10th, 2018 5:04 pm

    This was a HUGE issue with my former husband. He wasn’t hot he just didn’t think we needed the thermostat above 68 or 69 if we were lucky…and that is if we were in that room. If you weren’t in the room then forget it he’d turn it down to 65. That is just to freaking cold!! Now I am on my own and sadly I can’t afford the electric bill so once again I am freezing! At night I turn it down and during the day, in my office, I just sit on a radiant oil heater. If I have company I will turn it up to 70/72 and warn people to make sure they wear layers – which I do as well. It sucks and I totally feel your pain. Hang in there!

  10. Jennifer on January 10th, 2018 5:46 pm

    Linda, you’re the moderate here. 68 is just right! And, Muk Luks.

  11. LD's Mom on January 10th, 2018 7:18 pm

    Colorado gal here and I insist on 71 when we’re home.

  12. nonsoccermom on January 10th, 2018 10:52 pm

    We live in San Francisco where it is almost always chilly and damp, and our house stays at around 65 degrees because if I set the thermostat (upstairs) any higher, it will flame broil us as we lie in our bed downstairs. This old house can’t regulate the temperature between floors at all. Consequently I am freezing ALL THE TIME and then my husband comes into the living room and opens the windows. It was 55 degrees in here the other night. I think I was wrapped in five fleece blankets just to keep icicles from forming as I watched TV.

  13. JoAnn on January 10th, 2018 11:41 pm

    Whatever you do, DO NOT GET A NEST. They can look at the app on their phone and remotely change the temperature, all while rage texting you for adjusting it. Very creepy and very annoying. 68 is my heaven.

  14. Mary Clare on January 11th, 2018 9:25 am

    I’m right there with ya – 68! I work at home and still layer up with a warm scarf and those fingerless gloves when I’m typing/sitting for a while. Occasionally I am frugal and go for 66 or 67, but dang that feels cold.

  15. elizabeth_k on January 12th, 2018 7:15 am

    We keep ours at 64 but I love hearing about your temperature battles!

  16. Faith on January 12th, 2018 3:59 pm

    I have The Big Eyes at some of these commenters saying they keep their house at 63-65. That’s chilly for me, even in the damn summer. And yes, my thyroid is just fine. I mean, different strokes and all that, but just because I prefer to be warmer doesn’t mean I’m wasting energy. Wearing lots of layers makes me feel bulky in an uncomfortable sort of way, so if I can’t accomplish warmth with an undershirt and a sweater, the house is too cold.

  17. Jenn on January 13th, 2018 11:33 am

    I can’t even imagine keeping my place at 68 let alone 63. I’m catching a chill right now just at the thought of such a low temperature. I have to be 73-74 minimum.

    Of course, I’m in Texas.

    My Mom keeps her AC at 68 during the summer (in MO) and I sit around in fluffy socks, a hoodie and cozy pants while drinking hot tea.

  18. Amy on January 13th, 2018 2:14 pm

    I keep ours set to 69 degrees during waking hours, 66 at night. My husband complains of the cold (poor thing!), but I start to sweat at 72 indoors, so… I win. 😂

  19. Jen on January 14th, 2018 7:20 pm

    In winter I keep mine around 62-64 to keep my bill down, but I have your solution! You need an electric throw. I have 2 for my living room & I LOVE to get under mine to watch tv or read. My kitty also loves it & will come cuddle up in my lap and suck up some heat too. If not for the throw I would have to turn my t-stat up!

  20. Katie on January 15th, 2018 12:20 pm

    I was cracking up!!! I am JUST like John at home and the rest of my family is freezing. I say “put on a sweatshirt” hahaha but at work I crank the heat up. What is wrong with me?!

  21. TP on February 18th, 2018 3:09 am

    My partner and I play a lovely game on winter evenings called tiptoe up the hallway.i come home and break into a sweat because that fucker is set at 25c. So I head up the hallway barely pausing as I turn it down to 19c. He tiptoes after and back up it goes. At some point we settle on 22. Of course that’s winter, at the moment it’s high summer, we don’t have aircon and the whole country is HOT AF. seriously, there’s a “nationwide fan shortage” . Wtf?

  22. Shawna on March 10th, 2018 1:07 pm

    We keep our winter setting at 20.5 Celsius when we’re home, and it turns out that that is almost exactly 69. I work from home 2x per week and couldn’t sit still and work on my computer comfortably at a lower temperature. My husband has no issues with this, plus we turn it down when we’re not home or sleeping.

    SUMMER is our big problem time. I want to set the AC to 24 and he still wants it closer to the winter temperature of 20.5.

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