A seemingly small thing I really miss is sitting in coffee shops. Not for the coffee itself, there are plenty of drive-through options, but for the ability to take my laptop and for a brief period enjoy a work environment that is not, you know, my living room couch.

I never thought I could be one of those coffeehouse writers because I am highly distracted by Things Happening Around Me, but I found that most places have a sort of ambient bustle and hum that is oddly pleasant. Some places are better than others (high-traffic Starbucks with lots of loud impatient-seeming people: not great; lower-volume indie cafe with people lingering over their freshly-baked goods: ideal), but they all offered a break from being isolated at home along with a boost of caffeine-fueled productivity.

All right, I just told myself I wasn’t going to always write-whine about pandemic boo-hoos, so I will segue to a related topic: the caffè breve. I am about to share something you cannot unknow, so if you have never ordered this drink, I am very sorry, but your life is about to get better/worse, depending on how you feel about guzzling a LOT of fat on the reg.

A breve is made with half-and-half instead of milk, and the only reason I even know this is because pretty much all of last summer I kept ordering a latte from a local-ish chain called the “Golden Eagle,” which has caramel and vanilla syrup, and even though I always got the sugar-free version I was like WHAT UNHOLY BLACK MAGIC MAKES THIS ICED BEVERAGE SO STUPIDLY DELICIOUS. Turns out it’s because the Golden Eagle is a breve, not a latte, and upon much experimenting since then I have learned that a giant cup of half-and-half is fucking amazing no matter what added-flavor shenanigans you foist upon it.

There, let’s call this a pandemic hot tip: get the breve. Seriously. Everything is awful and exhausting and heavy cream probably can’t solve everything but we can’t know for sure unless we try.


9 Responses to “Cawfee talk”

  1. Kim on August 21st, 2020 8:29 am

    I (mostly) eat low carb & do intermittent fasting so my coffee is a VERY important part of my day. I discovered heavy cream & vanilla collagen powder a while back and it was life changing. The little pleasures right now are more important than ever.

  2. Alison of a Gun on August 21st, 2020 10:11 am

    Dude I’m on the two-breve-a-day plan. Hazelnut mocha breve! White chocolate peanut butter breve! Mexican mocha breve! Butterscotch breve! Covid can’t get me if I die of dairy first!

  3. Melanie on August 21st, 2020 10:14 am

    You are the best. that last paragraph made me laugh out loud.

  4. Sally on August 21st, 2020 10:46 am

    This both cannot be a good thing and yet I very much would like one…🤷🏻‍♀️

  5. Amanda on August 21st, 2020 12:40 pm

    The higher the milk-fat percentage, the closer to God.

  6. michelle on August 21st, 2020 9:42 pm

    and here i thought i was being a rebel using whole milk in my lattes.

  7. Sarah on August 27th, 2020 1:57 pm

    I really enjoy your writing, and I have for years. I’m not sure why I’m moved to say it for the first time, now, but thank you. You have given me a lot of joy and enjoyment, both.

  8. Constance Milburn on September 2nd, 2020 3:19 pm

    I just returned to San Francisco from a very short Oregon road trip. I tried a Golden Eagle (couldn’t resist after your post) and must say that I will never be the same – fabulous recommendation!

  9. Courtney on September 2nd, 2020 7:15 pm

    I had a similar revelation when I switched from skim milk in my latte (healthier) to 2% milk (better) to the iced latte at our local place which is organic whole milk–you know, in the glass bottles?–and it’s SO GOOD. I don’t care about the extra calories; it’s like drinking a melted coffee milkshake.

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