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All of these are awesome, but "Buttfucked by Gayzilla" has to be my favorite.


Now there's a dog that has no idea she's about to spend a week in the kennel. Sucker.


Tuesday, May 3, 2005

A conversation I had today with a coworker:

Scott: "Gotta say, Linda, you're getting a little bigger." (makes rounding gesture with hands)
Me: "I know! It's these new maternity jeans - (hikes shirt to show waist) see? There's nothing holding the belly in any more. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS BELLY? Heh."
Scott: "Actually, I meant your boobs."
Me: "Oh. Well...yeah."

I think I've officially outgrown my stupid Plorty Snee-sized bra.


Yes: maternity jeans. I now officially own a pair. I also bought capri pants and shorts - totally fitted looking pants, but with a giant elasticy stomach-band (why I thought I could just keep buying larger and larger normal-sized clothes, I do not know). They came from this store, which had a surprisingly cute and affordable selection, not to mention a deeply terrifying belly pillow you could strap on to "add 3 months" to your figure. Even JB looked nervous when I slipped that pillow under my waistband and turned sideways. "Whoah," he said, blinking rapidly. "Whoah."


We're flying to Oahu tomorrow, and staying at a place on the North Shore for five days of lazitude and ass-sitting. I'm hoping for virgin daiquiris with paper umbrellas, tanned cellulite, good snorkeling, and one or two beautiful sunsets. There will be no glider tours, thanks very much. I have a bunch of new books, a charged iPod, and brand new stretchy clothes that will accommodate many, many Hawaiian donuts. O frabjous day!

See you next week. On Tuesday or so, I should have the obligatory digital pile of vacation photos up - and also some exciting baby news to share.

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