Dec
23
Merry Christmas Eve (eve), friends. We’re in Coos Bay where the weather is surprisingly lovely, and I just wanted to take a moment to wish you a happy holiday and/or a wonderful weekend. I hope whatever you have planned over the next few days is filled with family, ridiculous moments that turn into great stories, and way, WAY too many cookies.
Dec
18
Sometimes I see photos of gorgeous Christmas trees with color themes or collections of exquisitely-designed ornaments and I think maybe someday I’ll get one little extra tree, maybe hide it away in the bedroom or something, and hang it with sapphire glass balls and white lights and some sort of topper purchased from the Garnett Hill catalog and it will be SO PRETTY but also untouchable and delicate and oh who am I kidding I’ll never really do this.
Our actual Christmas tree is best viewed from afar because once you get close enough to identify all the objects on the branches it sort of looks like we decorated it by dragging it through a thrift store.
For instance, this classy plastic keychain:
The back says “Harbour Cruise-Bauhinia Hong Kong” and we got it as a tourist tchotchke when we toured Victoria Harbour by boat ten years ago or so.
There’s this goofy photo:
All I know is that it’s from 2003, but I can’t remember why we were dressed up or had our picture taken. Company holiday party, maybe? (Say, what do you like better, the giant skunk stripe through my hair, or JB’s chops?)
These ornaments remind me of the tiny Orcas Island church we got married in:
I don’t know why I love this weird fungus-house thing, but I do:
Did you know that if someone gives you a “Baby’s 1st Christmas” ornament, you are contractually obligated to hang it?
Even if the photo you include is terrible and the ornament itself is painfully hideous?
Poor Dog. Not only did she get stuck in a blindingly cheesy array of plastic crystals, the clumsy Photoshop job I did on her years ago makes her look like Ghost Dog, Peering Sorrowfully from the Great Beyond.
Flimsy sharp-edged vanity license plates for the kids purchased on a business trip to San Francisco?
Check.
Awkward family photo that I clearly stuffed in the frame before the printer ink had completely dried?
Check.
And, of course, the tree topper that’s never been a star or an angel but rather, a compass:
Do you have oddball things on your Christmas tree? Tell me all about them, please. I love those immaculately-styled trees but I love the slightly-hoopty family memento trees even more.
PS: Just for my friend Jennifer, a brief appearance from the Holiday Pooping Sheep:
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