Mar
19
Let’s talk about HRT, baby, let’s talk about you and me ♬
I decided to try HRT again, specifically the estrogen patch. I have tried the patch before, not for any great length of time, and stopped doing so because it seemed like it was linked to an ongoing very unpleasant headache. I remember initially thinking the headache was caused by [insert random possibility] and tried all sorts of things like drinking more water, stopping Advil in case it was rebound headaches, etc, then finally concluding it was the patch, which I peeled off while mucking out Little Joe’s stall and dramatically hurled into a pile of manure.
WAS it the patch? I guess I will find out, with round two.
I wasn’t sure I was noticing any benefits to speak of, aside from an ummmm renewal of the ladygarden areas, which I have since addressed with a topical cream. (The cream works gangbusters, by the way.) But I wasn’t really having any dramatic hormonal symptoms to address, either.
I kinda figured I was all done with any hormone buffoonery — I’m 52, and it’s been well over a year since any kind of evident cycle. But did you know that being officially in menopause does NOT mean the bullshit party is over?? Even after years of perimenopause??? I did not know this and I would like to speak with the manager of women’s health because come the fuck on.
So anyway, I’ve been having the worst night sweats lately. Have you seen that terrific view of the Scottish mom lighting up her kids because they didn’t flush? DISGUSTENG!!! That’s how it feels to keep waking up in a clammy, slimy wet mess of damp sheets and slippery skin: disgusteng.
Of course night sweats could be caused by something more dire that has yet to reveal itself, I love a good opportunity for some catastrophic/it’s-a-zebra-not-a-horse thinking! But it’s more likely that it’s hormonal fluctuations, especially for how I can feel perfectly temperate one moment and raging with heat the next.
If we’re going to be living in the worst of timelines, at least this one has telehealth options. It is very easy, if not inexpensive, to order HRT without having to deal with begging a doctor for a prescription. (Ditto bupropion and retinol.) I have some patches on their way to me now, and barring any repeat headaches, I plan to give them a longer shot this time. Not only would I love to get through the night without self-immolating but I am quite hopeful for some of the other touted benefits like thicker hair.
I really went back and forth and back and forth about HRT initially. It’s like, do I want to monkey with a normal, natural process that my body is going through? On the other hand, what if that normal natural process just plain sucks and is directly linked to negative outcomes like bone loss, risk of heart disease, body composition changes (I was already an apple shape, sob), and whack mental health?
It’s all so fraught and of course made more complicated by a patriarchal medical system that did shitty inaccurate HRT research years ago and then just like … never updated any recommendations after that?? It feels like an area of women’s life that is just archaic in terms of treatment and open discussion. “Whoah there little lady sounds like you’ve got a case of the Mondays. Have you tried smiling?”
Anyway, I got the meds from Winona. I also use Hers for retinol and generic Wellbutrin.
Anyone out there with a good HRT experience to share? I guess I’d rather not hear about the terrible no-good very bad experiences.
Mar
17
It has been very sunny the last couple days after a long stint of grey flat skies and boy does that make a difference for me. I mean, wow this just in, good weather feels good no WAY, right? But it is such a big lift.
I went for a long walk on the river trail yesterday and it seemed like all of Eugene was out enjoying the sun. I saw so many people, kids, dogs, birds, a nutria! (I am Team Nutria forever, sure they may be damaging and invasive, but they have invaded my heart), and several turtles. I get particularly excited about the nutria and turtles because they are not an everyday sighting. I am also deeply charmed by all the ducks and geese, a teeny bit afraid of the Canadian geese of course because despite the politeness inherent in their name they can be hissy fuckers.
Although it is true I have never seen a Canadian goose be aggressive on this trail. They are obviously quite used to people and they will eyeball you warily if they’re crossing as you approach but generally they are very chill. Probably smug and secure in not being known as American Geese, how embarrassing.
If I choose the other direction for a walk, through my nearby neighborhoods, I see a lot less people and animals but I will almost always encounter a flock of turkeys. There is one group that patrols around with one pure-white (albino?) turkey in their midst. A weirdly thrilling sight! These local turkeys seem to share exactly one-quarter of a single brain cell and I find their nervous bumbling kind of charming.
The river walk is where it’s at in terms of things to see, and also feeling like … part of a community, I guess. Now, to be clear, I am just whizzing along with headphones on, I’m in my own inner world, but just seeing people out doing a thing they enjoy is bolstering. People often smile a quick greeting as we pass. If I’m feeling a little too hermitty, it’s a real healthy walk for me. I can be around people without the introvert drain of interaction.
It’s exactly what I’d hoped for when I was first buying this house, the idea that the nearby trail would be such a benefit, and it sure has been. A wonderfully walkable neighborhood in general with many options, and the river path is the gem of the bunch.
I don’t know how one actively wards off injury aside from avoiding extreme sports etc, but one of my biggest worries is getting in some sort of mobility-stopping accident and now not only do I have to figure out how to take care of myself while living alone (yikes yikes yikes how would that work yikes), but my walks are brought to a halt. Oh MAN. Just peering weepily out my front window at all the walkers/bikers/rollerbladers, while Billy takes advantage of the situation and steals my credit cards.
Well, what can you do. Can’t live in fear, I’ll just hope for more sunshine, unbroken bones, smiling humans, complacent geese, surprise ROUSes.
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