Nov
7
THINGS I ENDORSE
Brooks Ghost Max shoes, I bought a black pair and they are the most godawful ugly things I’ve about ever put on my feet, the look is very ‘Denny’s dishwasher on his smoke break’ but wow are they comfortable and just great for walking. A bit tight in the toe box area IMO so maybe try a half size up depending on how you like your fit.
Absorbing sunshine earlier in the day. Not always possible but during this grim season of stingy amounts of daylight it turns out I do feel better if I get out for a walk earlier rather than later. Something something circadian rhythms blah blah, it makes me slightly less cranky when the Darkness descends before dinnertime.
Hawaiian shaved ice Alanis, I don’t care how much research emerges about the negative effects of energy drinks I am hopelessly addicted to throwing money at these things. Pink slush and cotton candy also bring me joy, Witches’ Brew flavor can go back to hell where it belongs.
A bunch of movies that are in theaters right now! You Can See Everything, loved it and loved the collective audience experience of it. Whalefall, squelchy claustrophobic thrilling fun even with the ‘roided up Josh Brolin daddy issues. Resident Evil, which was super scary and also quite funny. Wildwood, just spectacularly gorgeous and well worth seeing on the big screen. Wicker, very enjoyable but could probably wait for streaming.
Wiener dogs, because even though they will drive you right out of your head you will be loved more deeply than you ever have been in your whole entire life, even better than a wicker husband.
Budtender banter. If you live in a legal weed state I swear these are consistently the friendliest most helpful most chill people on earth. It’s like the polar opposite of the dead-eyed fully uninterested corporate-required ‘Got any big plans today?’ clerk vibe that is drearily pervasive in grocery stores and whatnot. Even if you don’t imbibe go in there and ask for some CBD or something and just bask in the nostalgic experience of someone ringing you up who might actually care if you live or die.
This reasonably-priced sports bra for my fellow members of the heavy titty committee. I actually wear these as regular bras most of the time; are they sexy and cute, no they are not, but they do a great job of hoisting and separation/shaping and some compression without squishing. Plus they absorb sweat like a mofo so your underhooters remain swamp-free.
Listening to the music of your youth.
This was one of the first albums I ever bought and there’s something about listening to it now that feels like a beautiful echo. Maybe my specific circumstances, being on my own and remembering the me that used to be, but I love that these songs lit me up then and they light me up now. I dance to music in my kitchen nearly every night and some of what I listen to takes me back to different eras and it makes me feel young! (Ish)
Driving with the window partway down. This is random but I can’t stop marveling over how many things I do differently than I used to. I would say my entire life pretty much I have not particularly enjoyed when a window is down in a car, just messing up my hair and being chaotic/loud, and now I like it SO MUCH. Window down maybe four inches, music going …. it is a whole vibe? That I am just now discovering???
Sexy texting and related shenanigans, I’ll just leave it at that because this is a family blawg but *raises eyebrows, digs elbow into your side* wink wink nudge nudge say no more say no more but whoah black betty bramble jam, hot damn.
Waking up to a too-big-to-rig blue tsunami after 10 years in the gaslit upside down, my god what a feeling. Sure sex is terrific but seeing Texas turn blue after all that Musk money, shoot it in my VEINS.
Oct
28
We’ve had a bright and warm intro to fall but the grey wet skies have finally arrived and the crackly jewel-toned fallen leaves are on their way to becoming mushy piles of leftover Raisin Bran. It does feel more appropriately October now and I’m not entirely sorry about the vibe change, but I can definitely sense a shift in my own outlook. It is perhaps most accurate to say I feel less summery.
What’s next, is my main thought amongst the seasonal moodiness. Some of my routines have been uprooted lately and I’ve been casting out lines into the job-hunting waters and I have this great ball of dread in my chest about the midterms and everything seems on the cusp of potential change and yet things are also very much the same day in and day out in terms of pet care and house upkeep and plucking away surprisingly robust chin hairs. (Could I get some of that volume on my actual scalp, please?)
I am both worried about my long-term finances and finding it damn near impossible to make decisions that reflect the idea that there will in fact be a long term to contend with.
I’ve progressed in the labor of legal name-changing to the point of getting a new social security card and driver’s license, but I haven’t moved on to the next steps: banking, accounts, and so on.
My friend lost his dog a few days ago. She was hit by a car right in front of him and died in his arms. It’s not my loss but I was very fond of her and have been grappling with the capriciousness of life and death and trauma, how things can be upended in the blink of an eye. My sweet 96-year-old hospice patient also passed recently, a good death in that she had lived such a long and interesting life and things went quickly at the end with, I hope, very little suffering.
All lives end and we can’t know when and we can’t know how and it can happen any moment or not for a long long time and that is really a LOT to consider, maybe particularly in late October with the Winter Darkness lurking and my own life having been shaken up like an Etch-a-Sketch and everything ahead seeming so deeply unknowable.
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