Oct
4
After a long day capped off by an endless witching hour complete with meltdown after meltdown and countless scoldings and lectures and at one point some flat-out begging to STOP THE WHINING FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, bedtime finally approached and I ran a bath. Peeled off shirts—blotting the 4-year-old’s tears since the shirt caught on his head for a minute oh my GOD, kid—and pants and my own clothes and lifted them into the tub with me.
During the first remodel, when we added the shop, expanded a bedroom, and relocated a bathroom, I asked for a corner soaking tub. It was to be my version of the man cave (the double garage JB built not to house cars but to hold every piece of penis gear he owns and keep it nicely coated with sawdust) and of all the many dollars and ass-pains we have invested in our little house, the tub has earned its keep and then some. I get in it every single night before bed, no exceptions, and when it’s time to bathe the kids that’s where they go too.
I sit in the tub and they sit in front of me, and the sight of them is almost too much. Dylan’s losing that babychub vealfat look, his bones are emerging and he has actual shoulders. They squiggle and splash in the water and their necks look like delicate flower stems and the backs of their fuzzy close-cropped heads are like doppler maps of hurricanes: Riley’s hair swirls uniformly clockwise, Dylan’s turns in two different directions. The nubbly bumps of their spines, the curve of their cheeks when they turn their heads to avoid my incoming washcloth, the bubbles clinging to them. Their skin so pure, like something holy.
Riley dramatically announcing he’s going to dive under the ocean, Dylan splashing in big hand-sweeps and peering at himself in the faucet’s reflection. My boys, so beautiful.
I don’t suppose we’ll be sharing baths much longer. And oh. I will miss it so much.
Oct
3
I am developing a love affair with La Tartine Gourmande. Reading this beautiful website reminds me that the parts of life that I tend to summarily dismiss as being appealing yet unavailable to me—the rich, delicious, simple pleasures I sort of associate with rural living, destroyed by city commutes and the brain-buzzing confusion of balancing work and home—are in fact always there, if only I make room for them. If I take the time to slow down and appreciate the moments as they come. If I elevate, instead of minimize.
Food is such a lovely thing. I hate that I so often make it a convenience, a something to stuff in the mouth without thought.
Speaking of food, I had an insanely good meal with my friend Ashley tonight. JB’s out of town and it seemed like a great time to call on our beloved babysitter, smack dab in the midst of a long solo-parenting weekend and all, so Luciana came over and I went pelting out the door at top speed to meet Ashley for dinner at Boom Noodle. Boom! Oh, it was SO GOOD. My plate of udon came with these crazy paperthin shavings of dried fish bits—what they describe as “dancing bonito flake”—and they curled and waved on the heat of the noodles like a living thing. Deliciously creepy, a salty little zombiefied carpet of yum. And it was such a wonderful mental cache-dump to be out and about with a good friend, no kids in tow, just bullshitting and peoplewatching and relishing our freedom.
The weekend is chugging along. It’s hard being on my own with the kids, but there’s a part of me that sort of craves hogging all those boysnuggles to myself. (When Daddy’s gone, I get to wear that gold medal for a little while. Silver’s not so bad, you know, but everyone loves being number one.) I feel like today was a little too heavy on the TV side of things; tomorrow I’ll try and . . . you know, elevate. Find something bigger to do.
The boys are asleep right now and the only sound is the dog half-snoring nearby and the muted click of my fingers, type type typing to you. It’s nice, and man, this is why those 6 AM wakeup calls are KILLING me—because I can’t stand to go to bed early instead of enjoying this time.
So hey. Let’s talk about food. Tell me, what’s the most wonderful thing you’ve eaten recently?
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