Nov
5
Sometimes when I’m making Riley do something he doesn’t want to do, he starts wailing for JB. “Daaaaaaaaaddyyyyyyyy,” he snivels in his best skull-rupturing whine as I force him to endure some mighty injustice, such as having his butt wiped. YOUR DADDY CAN’T SAVE YOU NOW, I think evilly, but I just count to ten and remind Riley that Daddy’s at work, where presumably he is not being required to remove poop from anyone’s rectum, the lucky bastard.
He does the same thing to JB. “MOMMMMMMY,” he’ll howl from his bedroom, where he’s being marched at gunpoint into his pajamas. If I’m within eyesight, he’ll reach his arms out to me beseechingly, his great liquid brown eyes Bambi-like in their sorrow. It’s sort of annoying/funny how he seems to think the parent who isn’t in the midst of the unrewarding activity might just swoop in and put an end to it — he has yet to learn that JB and I are mostly a unified, heartless team when it comes to discipline, and neither of us can be swayed by piteous moans, calls for help, or haddock-like thrashing.
The playing field is fairly even these days, when it comes to Riley’s affections. Sometimes he wants his dad, sometimes he wants his mom; most of the time he’s happiest when we’re both around. He likes to test our individual boundaries (ie, when JB tells Riley no, he’ll turn to me and tattle: “Mommy, Daddy said I can’t haaaave that,” clearly hoping I’ll overrule the decision), but overall he doesn’t seem to prefer one parent’s company over the other’s.
It is nothing like it used to be, and that situation improved so gradually I only recently realized how different things really are. I can’t tell you how awful some of those moments were, and for everyone who gently reminded me that it was a stage, thank you. You were right. It may be uneven again in the future, or maybe we’ll go through a rejection/preference period with Dylan, but I’ll try and remember that nothing is permanent. Everything is always, always changing.
Nov
4
I’m pretty sure we’ve all got the same critical, history-making subject on our minds right now, and that is this: why the hell did I sign up for NaNoBloMo when it requires me to post on ELECTION DAY FOR CHRISSAKES.
Okay, I’m renaming it Baby Stuck in a Hanger Day, because then this photo will be all topical and shit:
So Dylan started clapping a while back and now he claps when he hears the word “clapping”. I can’t remember when or if Riley did this but I have of course decided that Dylan is a total brainiac, possibly even some sort of gifted child, despite the fact that he routinely chokes on his own index finger.
I was never particularly interested in baby signing when Riley was little but now I’ve checked out all these books and am determined to teach Dylan how to communicate with us, being as how he’s a genius and all. So far his only response is a curious stare during mealtimes when I say “MILK! MIIIIIIILK!” while making the sign for milk, which is sort of an udder-squeezing gesture that frankly is a tiny bit dirty looking, if you were to picture replacing the invisible teat with . . . well, nevermind.
Anyway, hilariously enough it’s Riley who really digs the baby sign language, and if you don’t mind me insinuating that both my children are clearly destined for MENSA, he’s got some of these signs down. Sure, he’s not exactly a nonverbal infant, but you should see him making the sign for cat! Why, you can practically see the whiskers he’s pantomiming.
Plus, we’ve started making our own family signs. 3-year-old behaving as though his brain has been replaced by an angry swarm of bees, complete with eardrum-rupturing levels of whining? He’s crabby (stick both arms out to your sides, clamp hands open and closed in a crab-claw motion). Husband once again places his cereal bowl casually on the kitchen counter instead of opening the freaking dishwasher which could only be more conveniently located if he ate breakfast INSIDE it? He’s a poophead (squat into chair pose, grunt, then pat the top of your head while staring meaningfully at the cereal-bowl transgressor).
I don’t know if we’ll keep up with it or not, but it’s kind of fun so far. Did any of you do baby signing? Did you think it was useful?
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