Nov
5
A conversation held while driving through the rain on the way to Starbucks today:
Riley, from the backseat: *weird noise*
Me: “What’s up with that.”
JB: “He sounds like those beavers.”
Me: “Beavers? What beavers?”
JB: “You know, beavers.”
Me: “Oh, right. Yeah, he does sort of sound like a beaver. Quiet back there, you beaver.”
(Pause)
Me: (idly) “We should get some beavers. Like to keep as pets.”
JB: “Pssh. You get some beavers, here’s what happens. First you’re all, ooh, I have beavers, no one has beavers, I’m totally cool. Then you get home from work and it’s like, fuckin beavers. Your fence is gone.”
Me: “Haa. Your walls are chewed to hell.”
JB: “Your house is gnawed to a stump and everyone has waffle prints on their faces.”
Me: “…waffle?”
JB: “From their tails. Beavers get pissed, they start whacking shit with their tails. They’re all, NO DEAL. Whack!”
Me: “Beaver, deal or no deal?”
JB: “NO DEAL. WHACK!”
Nov
5
November 5, 2006
If you’re wondering whether that Borat movie is worth seeing, from my personal perspective the answer is YES. JB and I went to a matinee on Friday (thank god for daycare, because we still don’t have a babysitter) and I laughed my goddamned ass off. I can say with no exaggeration whatsoever that I witnessed the most outrageous, screamingly hilarious man-on-man naked brawling scene that has ever been filmed. It’s seriously worth the ticket price just for that part alone (“Eat my asshole!”), but I laughed through most of the movie (well, except for the Ugly America moments that kind of make you die inside), which is more than I can say for most comedies.
We also rented Down in the Valley last night, and despite multiple scenes lovingly showcasing Edward Norton’s edible torso (how is it that the man’s midsection can so readily make up for his chickenhead?) that one was long, dreary slog through Boring-ville. It featured the unfortunate visage of one of the Culkin kids, placing the movie into this weird demographic I’ve been seeing a lot of lately: Films Which Star Offbeat/Depressed/Medicated Young Boys With Giant Damp Bambi Eyes.
Other movies we’ve seen recently:
Slither, which stars the guy from Firefly, playing the guy from Firefly, only with space slugs. Also Pam from The Office, playing…Pam from The Office, only with space slugs. I guess it’s not typecasting if there are slugs involved. I was hoping for more from Slither; I wanted Tremors with better effects, but it was fairly flaccid overall. Not that funny (except for the part where the zombiefied girls, claiming to just have poison ivy, intone “We’re iiiiiiitchy”), not creepy, not even spectacularly gross.
Lucky Number Slevin, with Josh HOTnett. This was fun to watch, especially for the outstanding set designs (those wallpapers!) and filmwork. The movie bumps along leaving you in confusion in places but the tie-backs are clever. It’s one of those where at the end you say, “Ohhhhh. Oh, okay.” There’s snappy tennis-match dialogue, great actors (Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley) and, tastily, Hartnett in a towel for about 20 minutes.
Weeds, the first season. Okay, it’s not a movie, but this is some quality entertainment. I wasn’t interested in Weeds when I started seeing ads for it, but after watching the first season I can’t wait for Season 2 to come out on DVD. It’s smart, funny and features a great ensemble of characters, especially Elizabeth Perkins who is freaking brilliant.
Well, shit. I really didn’t intend for this whole post to be about movies, because hello, I am not exactly Ebert over here with the reviewing skills. But now my blog-writing chariot has pumpkinfied since the boy is waking up, so I will smell you later, alligator.
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