Apr
21
April 21, 2006
JB’s brother Joe is a somewhat recent homeowner and this weekend he’s adding a fence to his property, and so the whole JB Fam-Damily is descending in droves to help out. While on one hand I think this relatives-chipping-in activity is sweet, on the other hand I can’t believe I’m driving all the way to Eugene this weekend to watch a bunch of guys build a fence.
My job for the next two days, of course, is ferrying Riley around to the various people who will be glad to coo over him but swiftly hand him over in case of whining/crying/pooping.
Have a wonderful weekend, and be glad you’re not motoring down I-5 singing the fiftieth refrain of the little-known nursery rhyme “If Your Figs Are Clean Then Your Nuts Are Very Nice”.
Apr
19
April 19, 2006
My company started a blog recently, and I created a Flickr account to go along with it. So now I spend part of my work week writing blog entries that include way too many italics and Simpsons references, and posting silly photos.
It’s all very fractal somehow. But in a non-mathematical way, because math is hard.
(Don’t ask me; I’m just a girl!)
The second blog entry I published received a disparaging comment along the lines of “Your writing style is unprofessional!” and I spent several happy minutes composing responses:
“Please open your Preferences settings and uncheck the Humor selection, then turn on the Boring Corporate Hyperbole option. You should be all set!”
“I will be happy to issue you a refund for the investment you made in this informal software company blog. Send me your billing information, as well as your inseam measurements, so I can properly outfit you with a ladder in order to get the fuck over yourself. Have a nice day!”
“Let me vastly improve your entire internet experience by empowering you with a little thing called ‘choice’. It starts with the magical world of CLOSING YOUR FUCKING BROWSER WINDOW.”
Then I remembered I would probably get a leeeeetle bit, hmmm, what’s the word, fired for those sorts of replies.
So far that’s been the only grumpy comment, and someone even left me a link to this. Which, AWESOME. (Please, for the love of god, you must, must play this song. Loud. Unless you’re at work. In that case, use headphones.)
We also added forums to our website and so Workplace is a veritable plethora of user-community love these days, which I’m actually really enjoying. After so many months/years of soulless marketing activities it’s nice to have the ability to consistently see that there are real living people out there who love our software. I mean, I know it’s not volunteer hut-building in plague ridden third world countries, but hey. You take what you can, right?
:::
I bought a Graco “jumpster” over the weekend, having got it in my head that since Riley at damn-near-eight-months still can’t sit unsupported (not that I’m excessively worrying about this, or anything) (except: WAAAAAH) he needed some kind of exercisey thing that held him upright. Because…yeah, I don’t know why. Because spending money on baby crap fulfills some deep need I never knew I had, OKAY?
I was a little suspicious of the fact that the jumper was only 20 bucks, plus when we took it out of the box it seemed pretty hoopty; the top clampy deal looked like some bizarre gynecological instrument incapable of securing itself to the doorframe as promised, the cloth seat seemed like it could rip free and dump any small child contents onto the ground, possibly right into a poison-baited bear trap or similarly dangerous situation.
I did get it set up, though, and both the seat and grip are surprisingly sturdy. I worried that he might bash into the side of the doorway in the thing but the plastic tray provides a kind of bumper. However, the few occasions I’ve put Riley in it he sort of…dangles there, looking a little bored. He doesn’t bounce or jump, he just hangs out, slowly rotating around in a circle, while studiously examining the straps and filling the tray with drool.
If you check out the ultra-spanky video over at the Graco site (warning: obnoxious circusy music) the baby is clearly flying all over the place having a ball and CLAPPING. Clapping!
I’ll keep trying him in it, but so far I’m filing the jumper under the same category as teething rings, “sensitive skin” baby wipes, and tiny boot-shaped footwear, which is Apparently Works Fine For Plenty of Other Kids But Not So Much The Suctopus.
:::
He’d rather play with his squeaky bunny anyway. It came as an easter present for Riley from JB’s mom, along with a note that confessed that when she got the bunny home she realized it was in fact a dog toy. So of course now it’s Riley’s most favorite thing on earth (well, that and a plastic measuring cup). Maybe I need to give up on the contrived baby entertainment devices and just cruise through PETCO.
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