March 20, 2007

Let me just take a moment to give a shout-out to Mucinex, the disgustingly advertised product whose mascot is a giant anthropomorphic glob of snot. If like me you often find yourself clogged and stuffed and generally a blocked-up mess of sinus misery, Mucinex will clear you right out. And not by acting as a decongestant and drying out your mouth and giving you little rubber-cement boogers, either. No, Mucinex essentially allows you to blow your nose in the most, er, productive way possible. Twenty minutes after taking a Mucinex, you will blow three-quarters of the contents of your entire head out your nose, including the little piece of your brain that remembers where the car keys are. Sure, it’s slightly disconcerting the first time you feel your hippocampus dislodge, but I figure losing just a few mental faculties is a small price to pay for the ability to breathe through my nose without sounding like a mating walrus.

Say, thanks for the movie suggestions, you guys. We should have no excuse for a crap-laden Netflix queue now, although I see JB has already added “The Devil Wears Prada” which he insists is not supposed to be a chick flick—my theory is that he’s got it confused with “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” which was on the soundtrack to “Coyote Ugly”. Boy, won’t he be surprised when Meryl Streep appears onscreen instead of Piper Perabo.

I was glad to see so many zombie movie recommendations, I’ve seen them all but I’m happy to know I’m in good company with my fellow Shaun of the Dead fans. I love that one, only slightly more than the deliciously creepy 28 Days Later (definitely not to be confused with 28 Days). You know what makes 28 Days Later so goddamn scary, is that the infected humans are fast. They don’t come ambling toward you with arms outstretched—they run like hell and come bursting through windows and shit. The Dawn of the Dead remake is a good one, too, although it was much scarier for me in the theater than on DVD.

Zombies! I seriously can’t stop thinking about them. I finished World War Z and I feel woefully unprepared for the zombie onslaught that I am now CERTAIN will be occurring soon. I live in a one-story house! We don’t have a boat! We’re fucked!

JB said in the event of zombie attack we could simply drive down to the remote section of Oregon where his family has property but the man is a FOOL. Then we’d just be in bum-fuck nowhere fighting off redneck zombies. The key is getting out in the middle of the ocean in a vessel that has provisions for at least a couple years, or traveling above the snowline so the zombies freeze—although take note that freezing does not kill them, it merely keeps them immobile until the thaw.

GRAH. ZOMBIES.

Well, hopefully I will soon be in better physical condition to run screaming from the undead, which I can only pray are the slow-moving, staggering-and-moaning variety, because let me tell you I have been doing that Turbo Jam workout again and again and again. I even bought a new video, which boasts the slightly humiliating name of “Fat Blaster”, and when I started it up I found myself ridiculously pleased that it’s not only the same instructor—the unusually likeable Chalene Johnson who JB piggishly declared a “milf”—it’s the same group of people doing the workout. There’s the always-smiling girl who looks like Sandra Bullock, Mindy the low impact girl, the lone dorky guy in the back. Ah, sweet familiarity. I can almost pretend I’m going to a class at the gym and seeing my fellow 9 AM classmates. Except I have the invaluable benefit of being in my own home where no one can observe me blowing my nose after each “Turbo” interval.

I’m leery of thinking that I can maintain this exercise commitment long-term, given my propensity for slacking in the past, but I’m really enjoying it right now. I actually look forward to the morning workouts when I can squeeze them in, and I do weights and stretching each night. Could this be a new leaf, a life change for the better? Or simply another flash-in-the-pan obsession (see also: zombies)? Only time will tell. I feel more motivated this time, so I am hopeful.

In other news, here is our current choice for kitchen remodel materials:

kitchensampler.jpg

The granite is Giallo Veneziano, which we’re planning to use for countertops. We have such a small kitchen it won’t be much in the way of square footage. The cabinet color we’re liking is the darker sample on the upper right, kind of a cherry. The cabinet style will be “Oslo”, which looks like this:

oslo.jpg

We also picked out some stone floor tiles (by the way, if you’re in the market for new flooring, I highly recommend visiting a ProSource shop if you can)—neutral, cream-colored—and now we have to settle on a wall color. Sage? Warm brown? Light tan? Pink with purple polka dots? Illustrated silhouette of oncoming zombie attack, just to keep me on my toes?

Comments

44 Responses to “Resurrections”

  1. Allie on March 20th, 2007 1:19 pm

    I vote for the illustrated silhouette of oncoming zombies for the walls.

  2. Katie on March 20th, 2007 1:26 pm

    beautiful! Glad you went with granite.

  3. Swistle on March 20th, 2007 1:29 pm

    I’m definitely going to try Mucinex. Not for MYSELF, necessarily, but for the walrus I share a bed with.

  4. nonsoccermom on March 20th, 2007 1:31 pm

    Oh, I like the countertop. Now I’m wishing we could update our kitchen a bit. It’s fine, since the house is only 7 years old, but not the colors I would have chosen…I’m jealous!!

  5. Jennifer on March 20th, 2007 1:35 pm

    I think you’re getting the blog-o-sphere hooked on Zombies now because I have seen Z references in 3 or 4 other blogs this week… are they reading/copying you? *OR* is it like Close Encounters where that whole aura of Zombies is just in the air and various people with the tuned-in mental antennas are getting the impending Z-vibe??

    Well before they invade my house, I’m also getting inspired by your photos of countertops and bathrooms and thus, I have made a Thursday appointment with a general contractor to talk about … well, countertops and bathrooms. And stone floor tiles!

  6. Jen on March 20th, 2007 1:39 pm

    That counter/cabinet color combination looks awesome. Not sure how you feel about them, or if anyone else has suggested this, but have you looked into IKEA? We just finished a kitchen remodel where the IKEA cabinets were less than 1/4 the price of others we looked at, yet were much better made – Blum hinges and drawer parts, thicker side walls, low VOC’s. They have some darker color door styles that will hold their own with any high-end custom cabinets. Just a thought… I love my new kitchen so much I must IKEA-vangelize whenever I can…

  7. sundry on March 20th, 2007 1:45 pm

    Jen: I like IKEA, and I’ve seen some awesome kitchen stuff from them. We’re using a local cabinetry business that our contractor works with, as part of the overall bid for the entire remodel. In theory this saves us money, but even if it doesn’t it’s kind of nice to outsource the whole process of acquiring materials/doing the installation/etc. IKEA rocks though—our whole closet system is IKEA, as well as our bedroom end tables, Riley’s bookshelves . . .

  8. Pete on March 20th, 2007 1:48 pm

    Nice looking granite. Should stand out well. You will find it also hides ‘stuff’ well. I don’t know our counter is dirty until I run a rag across it and pick up everything but the dog. I might add you should look at putting in a Hot Water Dispenser. I find we use ours several times a day. I just wish I wouldn’t have listened to my wife and bought the one I wanted. (www.homeclick.com/showpage.asp?itemid=55523). Also think about a build in soap dispenser too. One less thing to clutter the counter.

  9. Aunt Linda on March 20th, 2007 1:57 pm

    Your mom and I will see you tomorrow around noon thirty-ish. You’ll know us from the zombies because, while we both move pretty slow after a long drive, we are not dripping unknown slimey swill. At least not yet. AL

  10. Mama Ritchie on March 20th, 2007 2:00 pm

    I love the color combo of the cabinets and the granite – and the cabinets are very sleek and timeless yet modern. Extremely cool. Now, wall color – see that tan/gold color in the granite? Play with that color. It doesn’t have to be exact – it can be a lighter shade than what’s in the countertop – but I would keep it in that same family. With the dark cabinets and the dark countertop it will set it all off nicely. When we’re at Jen’s check out her wall color with the countertops. She has a really nice tan on the wall that makes her whole kitchen look really awesome.

  11. victoria on March 20th, 2007 2:13 pm

    What does “milf” mean?

  12. serror on March 20th, 2007 2:19 pm

    Love the canbinet/granite combo! I think sage or soft carmel colored walls

    I haven’t been able to get past the awful mucus related name and disgusting commercials of Mucinex. Isn’t it just the same drugs as other decongestants/expectorants but with a terrible name? Glad to hear it is working wonders for you though!

  13. Lola on March 20th, 2007 2:24 pm

    Milf = Mother I’d Like to….”shag” (but with an F)

  14. Deanna on March 20th, 2007 2:35 pm

    GRAH. ZOMBIES is RIGHT! I was JUST having a conversation with a coworker about zombie movies. Fast running zombies freak me the fuck out! You can’t be dead-alive AND fast. That’s just not fair. And yes, I have found myself too wired to sleep becuase of fast running zombies and decided my best place to hide would be in my closet. I have one of those early 1992 “Jane Fonda treadmills” that would make a great door jam.

  15. Cassie on March 20th, 2007 2:39 pm

    Today I used the word hippocampus for the first time EVER, in a debate about drinking ages. Then I read it here, weird.

    Mucinex was declared the worst medicine ever by me after I took it for the first time. I didn’t know it would loosen it all up, instead of making me cough up tons of pretty gross stuff. I didn’t think it worked at all. Then I read the label and named it number 2. Number one works better than mucinex does, it’s called Sinus Tabs: Allergy.

  16. Donna on March 20th, 2007 3:16 pm

    i like the lighter color for the cabinets instead of the cherry (the one directly behind the sample you are holding in the picture), it picks up the color of the granite more. at least the online color…..
    when dawn of the dead came out, that’s when i got the email address, and just so you know, i am a slow moving zombie.
    i think this is the first entry that you did not mention Riley. it is definetely time to get pregnant, lol!

  17. Alyson on March 20th, 2007 3:34 pm

    Ah Ha! Prosource ROCKS!! That’s where my hand-scraped hickory kitchen flooring came from (only place around that carries it as far as I know), and I installed about half of it myself! Hubby did the edges and the corners. I’ll install it, but I won’t CUT it!

    The cherry colored cabinets are beautiful and go wonderfully with the granite. Good choice. I vote for a soft sage color for the walls.

  18. Jen on March 20th, 2007 4:45 pm

    Ah, yes, who doesn’t love a good zombie story? I assume you’ve read Monster Island then, by David Wellington? It’s an online serialized zombie novel, and it’s pretty darn good! Especially if you have a Treo or Blackberry, and can read bits of it when you have a few minutes of downtime when running errands, or what-have-you. He went on to make it a series, with Monster Nation and Monster Planet. It really is required zombie reading, IMHO. Not sure if this interface will let me post a link or not, but if it doesn’t work, just do a google search, and it should come right up for you. http://www.brokentype.com/monster/ Enjoy!

  19. Josh on March 20th, 2007 5:32 pm

    Yo ho ho and a bottle of Mucinex! I swear by that stuff. The only good thing a doctor’s done for me since slapping me on the ass when he welcomed me into this harsh zobie infested world. On second thought there was that Robitussin with Codine I got the one time, that was nice.

    I completely agree about 28 Days Later and the whole speed zombie scare factor. Way cooler. I liked Land of the Dead too, because the zombies started gaining intelligence. Unfortunately everyone I’ve ever met who saw it felt that was the worst zombie movie ever, and my favorite plot twist became the centerpoint of discussion about how my love for cinematic cheese actually equated with crappy bad taste. (worse than regular bad taste) What can I say, I liked Water World and Barbarella too. So sue me.

    I think your kitchen is gonna look great. Good luck with that shite. At least you know some good cleaners now, for when the construction is over.

    And I noticed zombies have sort of replaced your enfatuation with the pile driver. I’ll bet you could work both into one blog though. Maybe even one coherent thought. (that might be pushing it)

  20. Sadie on March 20th, 2007 5:43 pm

    My original suggestion, when you last asked about paint colors, was butter. But now that I see your granite I think butter would look too yellow against it. So now my suggestion is a light coffee color, like cafe au lait. You want a brown-based tan, not a grey-based tan. My dad is a painter and I worked with him for years. All that shit he taught me about arc welders and carbeurators isn’t real useful day-to-day, but the paint color stuff, THAT I use a lot.

  21. filakia on March 20th, 2007 5:58 pm

    Awesome choices for the kitchen. I prefer the darker (cherry) cabinets, and I agree with the above suggestion: a warm cafe au lait color would be nice on the walls.

    Also, since you asked for suggestions on books & movies, will you tell us what you think of the suggestions you try?

  22. Petroleum Poet on March 20th, 2007 6:16 pm

    Love the darker cabinets. Good choice.

    I just got done reading Cell by Stephen King, which is sort of about zombies. Some people love him, some people hate him, and I personally like him. The first couple of pages will hook you!

  23. JAB on March 20th, 2007 7:17 pm

    Although I know it’s hard to get to new movies with a little guy at home, you’re going to have to go and see HOT FUZZ (since you’re a Shaun of the Dead fan). It stars the same two main guys and is absolutely hilarious (if you like a lot of blood). 28 WEEKS LATER is also coming out soon, the sequel to 28 WEEKS LATER. Fun, fun, fun!

  24. samantha jo campen on March 20th, 2007 7:32 pm

    Mucinex has saved my life on more than one occasion. Do your eyes also water because about 20 minutes after I take it, it looks like I’m crying. I guess all the crap is free-flowin’ or something.

    Or, there is always the remote possibility that I am a freak and this happens to no one else in the world.

  25. Michelle on March 20th, 2007 9:37 pm

    you my friend, make me laugh aloud every day. which, in a cubicle, is forbidden! So really, I don’t laugh aloud, but my vociferous nostrils and my souped up, super articulate snot let people know that something is afoot in my cube (or keyboard/monitor, depending how badly you catch me off guard).

    i want to have a baby, babies, and you and the “others”, dooce, whoorl, etc., let me know that it is still cool to be your completely insane self but yet still be a competent mother and partner. it’s good to see that it changes you and marks you, e.g, the little love nibble you rec’d recently, and you still are able to react to it in a way that i used to consider an “inappropriate” way. i’ve always been loud and according to my mother, one who “acts like they have no couth!”

    thanks for letting me know that being human is a universal condition. sometimes i think people forget that. that and farting in a heavily populated walkway, it is not slick…. we all know you did it. especially because you can’t shake the stank, it sticks to you and trails you like the toilet paper on the heel of your shoe. thanks for reminding me that i should not be afraid of this life, it can be funny too.

  26. Kathy on March 20th, 2007 10:16 pm

    I’m thinking you should paint the zombie thing on the inside of the cabinet door that has your glasses in it. Then every time you get something to drink you will be reminded that the zombies could be on the way..

  27. kate on March 20th, 2007 10:39 pm

    my parents went for the granite and I don’t like it. I looks like the counters always need to be wiped down, have you considered concrete counters? You can choose any color you want, my friends were able to put little glass beads in the concrete and it adds this really cool little “something” to it. My current home has concrete counters and I love them because they don’t absorb stains. Sorry to weigh in so late.

  28. Deanna on March 21st, 2007 4:10 am

    Mucinex DM – ahhh!!

    Pregnant and only able to take Robitussim DM & Claratin. A week after catching something my kiddo brought home (which everyone but me was able to overcome in a few days), the phone nurse gives me the top secret unpublished list of drugs I can take besides the printout they gave me. Mucinex DM is my new best friend! I still ended up taking a Z-pack of antibiotics and hits off an inhaler (ahhh! I can breathe!) on top of the mucinex before all was said and done. But Mucinex is now a permanent resident in my medicine cabinet. Although they should fire their ad company- the comercial are just yucky!
    Deanna
    PS: Have you googled it to see that some folks say it helps (others swear it screws it up) to achieve pregnancy? I was just checking to see what others thought about taking it when preggers and ran into that interesting debate.

  29. JennyM on March 21st, 2007 5:19 am

    Beautiful kitchen selections — loooooooove the granite. I lust after granite countertops, but our strange house, though deficient in many ways, has absolutely acres of kitchen countertop. Which is wonderful, until I want new countertops. We’re thinking concrete, actually. I also agree with the “warm cafe-au-lait” crowd.

    Also, Mucinex is a wonder drug. It’s the only thing that kept me sane through a recent bout of Plague. I did call my husband at work a few times, though, from my nest of squalor on the couch, to shout, “WHERE DOES ALL THE SNOT COME FROM????” Seriously, where does it come from? There is so much. I believe you’re right — some of it’s got to be brains.

  30. Lisa on March 21st, 2007 6:20 am

    Good luck with the workouts and with the remodel! Have you thought about lighting yet? I’m an electrical engineer and helped my parents with their kitchen remodel. We used 3″ cans located about 8″ out from the cabinets and centered between the doors (where they open). We had additional cans over the breakfast bar. Just a suggestion. I love reading your blog.

  31. ang on March 21st, 2007 6:29 am

    I wouldn’t do sage for the kitchen. Everybody does that! How about a soft, pale gold? I think that would be fabulous with the cherry wood and granite. Also, what kind of hardware are you putting on the cabinets?

  32. TwoBusy on March 21st, 2007 6:42 am

    Speaking of the pantheon of great zombie movies… have you made space in your life for Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive?” Yes, that Peter Jackson.

    The lawnmower scene alone is worth the price of admission.

  33. Melanie on March 21st, 2007 6:53 am

    “…I figure losing just a few mental faculties is a small price to pay for the ability to breathe through my nose without sounding like a mating walrus.” I’m snorting at this line.

    For the walls? Warm brown with zombies, and perhaps one of those climbing wall-thingies going on, for practice at escaping. You can escape up trees, right?

  34. Cate on March 21st, 2007 7:43 am

    Just happened across your blog…..hilarious description of Mucinex. I have been forewarned!

    I’m with ya on Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later! And I too am hoping for the slow moving zombie variety when the onslaught comes!

    Cate

  35. MRW on March 21st, 2007 8:59 am

    Am going to go to the store and buy Mucinex tonight. The early blooming Spring trees in Portland are killing me (as they do every damned year) and I just want to be able to take a deep breath occasionally.

    Also, TWoBusy, I love Peter Jackson and will now have to check out Dead Alive. Wheee zombies!

  36. Claudia on March 21st, 2007 11:01 am

    Speaking of movies – I’ve created my own! See today’s entry. There is a chance to win prizes if you can come up with the best cast and title.

  37. Deon on March 21st, 2007 11:38 am

    The sequel to 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later will be out on May 11th!

    http://www.aintitcool.com/images2007/28WeeksLaterPoster.jpg

  38. Leslie on March 21st, 2007 2:10 pm

    This is absolutely none of my business, but that countertop design is really big for a small space. Have you seen an expanse of it and not just the sample?

  39. Liz on March 21st, 2007 2:37 pm

    I LOVE my granite. It’s a darker pattern like yours, and I find it so very functional. I love to cook and bake and can’t remember how I ever survived with the old laminate countertops.

  40. John in Phoenix on March 21st, 2007 3:18 pm

    Heya Darlin’ !

    My Hubby and I are 1 week away from gutting and remodeling both bathrooms and the kitchen/dining room ourselves and I am a scared Sum-bitch. Too many horror stories from friends that have lived to tell the tale as it were. I like your choice of cabinets and color by the way. We have the same look and color in mind for the kitchen. The guest bath is going all retro 1920’s-30’s white with with some black tiles thrown in to keep the snow blindness at bay, and the master bath is going to be resort-chic with marble and mirrors. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of really strong task lights under the upper cabinets to shine on the counter top and maybe a few spots in the ceiling to create some nice mood lighting.

    I can’t wait to see both of our results !

    Good luck on the daily workout regiment too Sweetie. It does feel great to get in shape and have the ol’ bod get a tune up. (As I sit here on my fat ass sipping on a Vodka martini contemplating what kind of fattening dinner I can make tonight…)

    Kisses luv !

    – John in Phoenix

  41. fellowmom on March 21st, 2007 4:18 pm

    I am psyched about Mucinex, Hot Fuzz and 28 Weeks Later.

  42. Liz on March 21st, 2007 6:08 pm

    Linda, are you aware of this book? Choose your own adventure! Zombies! Drag Queens!

  43. Sarah on March 21st, 2007 10:17 pm

    Ooh! Oslo cabinets! :) I think that with cherry colored cabinets, sage would be not so great… What about a warm light gray? I can see that color in the floor sample, and I think it would be better than a cream… Maybe get a couple of sample-size cans of paint in cream and warm gray and try a 3′ X 3′ swatch of each to see if you can live with them?

  44. Erin on March 25th, 2007 6:14 pm

    Have you watched this??? Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Zombie Survival Guide??

    http://www.videosift.com/video/Danger-50000-Volts-Zombies-Survival-Special-DVD-Extra

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