Dec

2

Moderation

Hey, thanks for your supportive comments re: Pervy Flickr Freak. A few hours after I posted the entry and also reported the account to Flickr, the guy’s account was listed as no longer active. I’m not sure why, if it’s because Flickr took action or what, but hooray.

I’ve been thinking about this little incident, not that it was some big nasty traumatic event but just thinking about the bigger picture of my family’s information and photos being available to anyone, regardless of their interest. The entire subject of privacy on the internet is a slippery continuum of choices, and I don’t think there are really any hard and fast rules that apply to everyone. Some people use a complicated pseudonym system that requires its own Cast of Characters explanation page on their blogs and never post personal photos, some people use their full names and their kids are more recognizable than Suri Cruise.

Where common sense and paranoia overlap is different for everyone, I think. I tend to take the approach of accepted risk, in that I accept there’s a chance something ooky will happen as a result of my blog in the same sense I accept there’s a chance that I will get in an accident while driving Riley to the playground. Which is to say I believe it’s unlikely that it will happen, and the reward outweighs the choice of refusing to leave the house.

We live in a world that offers an infinite selection of things to freak out about when it comes to the safety and well-being of our kids, and it’s hard not to spend all your time as a parent dwelling on the various horrible possibilities. My goal there is to find an area of reasonable precaution and awareness, and stop myself from spiraling into pointless anxiety—because otherwise it’s never a cough, it’s always meningitis. You know? It’s not a bruise, it’s leukemia; it’s not a tantrum, it’s a major emotional disorder; it’s not a creepo on Flickr, it’s someone parked outside my house furiously jerking his meat while waiting to snatch my kids, because he saw them on the internet and the temptation was just too great.

Moderation in all things, I guess. Although maybe a No Naked Heinies Policy isn’t such a bad idea.

In other news, it snowed this weekend and transformed everything into a magical wonderland of beauty and peppermint white mochas.

snowfromliving_07.jpg

Sadly, it all turned to rain this morning—I am currently ignoring Dog’s piteous whines at the back door, because she appears to have found a puddle of muddy slush and is now cleverly disguised as a Brown Dog—but not before we went out and got our Christmas tree in the snow:

xmastreeget_07.jpg

Note how the safety-conscious parents have completely forgotten to outfit the child with gloves. SCORE.

Comments

24 Responses to “Moderation”

  1. Josh on December 2nd, 2007 12:25 pm

    Look, I know my responses to that last post were a bit … dramatic. It’s just a topic that strikes a very sensitive nerve with me. I suppose I should say that none of the many many people I know who have been victims of sexual assault were victims because of the internet. It was all real life, face to face crime. So fuck it all. The internet isn’t too bad. But I think you’re right, no naked asses might be a good idea.

    And on a much more pleasant note: I am uber envious of your sweet snow. I really really hope we get some this year. We haven’t had a good day of snow in several years. And the latest ones that we had, I was locked up and missed it. But I at least got to see it out of the window. So, it may have been seven years or so since I got to see a good snow here in NC. I really really hope it snows just once this year. I soooo want to go sledding in two inches of snow. Or build a small snowman. And maybe even make that delicious milk/sugar/cinnamon/snow concoction that my mom used to make me as a little boy in Philly. (not the yellow snow, the good stuff!)

  2. jonniker on December 2nd, 2007 1:12 pm

    I wholeheartedly agree re: moderation and calculated risk. It is so EASY to freak yourself out about these things, as you pointed out, but the bottom line is that the worst case scenario is still remote, and there are greater risks in the every day.

    Nicely put.

  3. Victoria on December 2nd, 2007 1:15 pm

    It’s ok, it looks like he still has some feeling in his hands so you’re all good without the gloves! ;)

    Awesome that you got to cut your tree in da snow!!!! :D

  4. Danell on December 2nd, 2007 1:23 pm

    Hey! He doesn’t even look suspicious about the tree fetching! Or the lack of gloves! I can’t get Cameron to keep a glove or a mitten on, anyway. Plus, didn’t we already see Riley’s clever use of pockets?

  5. andrea on December 2nd, 2007 1:33 pm

    Everyone definitely has their own level of comfort when it comes to how much information you put out there on such a public forum. We started blogging primarily for family and it has grown from there, so we have used real names and somewhat accurate locals from the get-go and it seems too consuming to go back and edit from the beginning. If I were to do it all over again we’d likely be a bit less forth coming with personal information, but at the same time, I don’t worry about it too much. We have tried to be more careful about posting photos and as many adorable bath shots as we’ve got, they will always be kept private.

    We just got back from the tree hunt. Felt so much more festive than previous years with the snow on the ground. Don’t worry about the gloves, would he really have kept them on his hands anyhow?

  6. Deanna on December 2nd, 2007 1:44 pm

    You have snow AND you get to cut down your own tree (even if you have to do so without gloves)?!?!? Me=JEALOUS. It’s a balmy 61 degress in Atlanta today. Ho, ho, huh?

  7. Jennifer on December 2nd, 2007 2:13 pm

    But! Deanna! It’s supposed to get super-cold here (Atlanta) tomorrow, right? RIGHT? I’m ready for some winter weather too!

    My (so far) very brief experience with blogging has been to err on the
    side of caution with regard to privacy. The Walrus (see?) is a very private person and would Flip His Shit if I were to go about airing our dirty laundry for the masses – mercifully our laundry basket is mostly empty.

    I personally am paranoid as hell in that if I were to post a picture of myself or something and some weirdo nutbag from my past – or a weirdo nutbag in general – would try to contact me. I need to get over myself, obvs.

    Also, Dog!

  8. Shelly on December 2nd, 2007 3:27 pm

    That looks so wonderful. I love snow, though I’ve only seen it three times in my life. It’s 82 degrees down here and it’s raining! I think you should write a storybook. The kind with fun short stories on how things are dealt with or how they go down in your house. Then, it can keep your coffee table and coffee company to give you random smiles. I dunno maybe I’m crazy lol.

  9. Super Sarah on December 2nd, 2007 4:50 pm

    I debated the whole privacy vs. personal info on the web and came to a similar conclusion as you, although nowhere near as nicely put! Its a tough one and there is definitely a sliding scale. I am desperately envious of your snow. I just can’t get into the Christmas spirit this year, its currently sunny, hot and humid!

  10. Coleen on December 2nd, 2007 4:59 pm

    I was going to post exactly what Danell said – the first thing I noticed was the lack of suspicion and not the lack of gloves. Also, while I’m jealous of your cutting down a real tree, I am also super glad this is my parents’ last year with one. I am all about the artificial tree now.

  11. Amykatrina on December 2nd, 2007 6:36 pm

    Cutting your tree in the snow. What luck! Your little man looks so excited.

    I’m hoping we can find some kind of bush or even a tree branch here in Shanghai to put presents under.

    I’m so glad you’ve decided to keep on sharing.

  12. Leslie on December 2nd, 2007 7:29 pm

    Riley’s obviously unfamiliar with Snow White and/or Hansel and Gretel or he wouldn’t look so chipper and unsuspicous at being bundled up and taken deep into the woods. By a man with a saw, no less.

  13. Ali on December 2nd, 2007 7:48 pm

    I have to agree with Josh- of the people i know who’ve been victimized, every single one has started in real life. So, hey, internet=not so bad, Moderation = good, and cutting your own tree = freaking awesome.
    Here in Fla., we decorate palm trees. Somehow, it’s just not the same… Although I did get to wear shorts and a tank top today, so I guess I should just STFU, huh?
    Here’s to the Holidays!

  14. Kristie on December 2nd, 2007 7:48 pm

    It is so hard to find that balance between being too information giving and not giving enough. If you choose to blog about your life, it’s seems necessary to detail some things. I guess we just have to be smart about it and hope that the crazies stay at bay.

    Yay for snow! I keep saying this on everyone’s blogs about snow…it was 70 here today. No snow for us!

  15. Anne L. on December 2nd, 2007 10:38 pm

    Man, Riley looks so HAPPY in that last pic! Where’s Mr. Suspicious?

  16. missbanshee on December 3rd, 2007 3:42 am

    Riley’s all “No need to be suspicious, my dad’s got a SAW, YO! Who wants to mess with me? I thought not!”

    Or, you know, I could just be insane.

  17. Kristin H on December 3rd, 2007 6:26 am

    I just wanted to say thanks for your previous post. I didn’t get a chance to read the comments because about half way through the post I went to my Flickr account and sure enough, one of the pictures of my 1-year old boy (shirtless) was tagged as a favorite by a person with no pictures of his own. I spent at least and hour going through my account and deleting stuff. Thank you! My head was in the sand.

  18. Leticia on December 3rd, 2007 7:51 am

    You are so smart and calm about these types of things. I love this about you. How you can take one thing….take appropriate action but not spiral out of control and take it to the extreme (not ever showing pictures of Riley again). Very cool mom….cool and mellow. :o)

  19. Christina on December 3rd, 2007 8:29 am

    Ah, I am dreaming of white Christmas (or holiday season) so it is nice to see some lovely photos of it! It rained a boat load here (HA pun intended.) So much so that the river behind our house FINALLY came back after many months of drought and WAY to hot weather.

    Our son won’t wear his mitts at all. We can barely get him into his coat and hat… UGH.

    And about photos and writing on the internet – it is what it is. We make the choice and then we just need to be sure to take are of it how we need to.

  20. Amy M. on December 3rd, 2007 8:40 am

    Congrats on the (somewhat) resolution of the flickr freak. After reading your last post, I checked my account & made all non-fully-clothed Niblet photos private. There was only 1 pic with 200 views & it was of me & a friend. Weird.

    Your pictures look postcard-like! We got snow & rain, too, but it froze here & was really hard to shovel. My dog has been lamenting the loss of his favorite long-grass potty places.

  21. Kayte on December 3rd, 2007 9:07 am

    Interesting development you have written about here as I had just recently (after Thanksgiving) decided to go to Password Protected for my site as I had so many photos of the people in our lives, kids, names, dates, places, etc., and I just decided for them that I would do that…especially other people’s kids. I had always asked parental permission to post a photo (actually of anyone I include), but I still had this nagging feeling that maybe I should either stop posting photos/and such detailed info or just go to Password Protection. I am sure there are some readers who did not ask and request the password, and I regret losing them, but I feel much better about it in the long run. It feels a little sad, however. I know that I am limiting new friendships this way and that makes me a little sad as I have come to enjoy my blogging friends immensely. And, I do agree…stepping outside the door is a risk every single day and we never ever give that a thought! (BTW, if you want the password to my site, just let me know and it is yours…I enjoy your site very much…and all your excellent advice on cameras!)

  22. Katie on December 3rd, 2007 1:08 pm

    Sorry about the perv, but I am with you that there are things in this world that require a little bit of trust in fellow human beings. If there were no trust, we’d all be sniveling piles of “But what if’s” wasting away on our couches. Just my opinion.

    Love the snow pictures! You’re not the only parent who forgot to put gloves/mittens on a child in the snow this weekend. Me too. Christmas tree cutting in southcentral Idaho, with 6 inches of the white stuff. Yup, bad mommy moment. My only redemption was I had a blanket to wrap him in (my 11 month old) and I just schlepped him on my hip rather than letting him get some “first steps in the snow”. Pissed off was he, but I thought it was better than frostbite!

  23. Barbra on December 3rd, 2007 3:00 pm

    The look on Riley’s face = PRICELESS!!

  24. She Likes Purple on December 3rd, 2007 7:18 pm

    You always get quite a few comments that I just don’t read through before posting and I wonder sometimes if that gets obnoxious, reading the same comment over and over because your commenters were SO eager to comment, they couldn’t be bothered with how original their comment turned out to be. Anyway! I don’t know if this has been said, but in that last photo, Riley looks just like you. I tend to think he’s a great mix of the both of you and it reminds me of how I’m always floored when I look at one my nephews (who happens to be a perfect blend of his parents) and he makes a face that so clearly reminds me of his mother, even if it’s not a face his mother has ever made.

    So, he looks just like you in that picture. Even if I’ve never actually seen you make that face.

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