WEEKEND UPDATE

I saw Cloverfield and now I know what that mysterious monster looks like and you don’t. Nyah.

Well, unless you’ve seen it too. In which case, welcome, Elite Monster-Viewing Secret Society Member. That thing was fucked UP, wasn’t it?

My moviegoing partners in crime were Mona and Ashley, who thankfully stuck out the entirety of the POV-shaking film with me, even though Ashley preemptively announced that she’d had to leave The Blair Witch Project due to all the camera movement and Mona has since confessed that during Cloverfield she wasn’t entirely sure of the fate of her popcorn container (Treat-Dispensing Box, or Useful Hork Receptacle?). I had my own moment right as the film began where I thought, oooh, should have brought Dramamine, but I got used to it pretty quickly and ultimately decided that’s what made the film so money, baby, it’s the fact that the camera is always swinging around and giving you tantalizing glimpses of the horror and mayhem and you’re absolutely glued to the screen because you want SO GODDAMN BADLY to see what’s going on.

Having seen I Am Legend and now Cloverfield in the space of a few weeks, I feel very strongly that anyone living in Manhattan should have a comprehensive escape plan in the event of 1) a plaguelike zombie-ish infestation, or 2) a large, building-destroying monster. Perhaps you could buy a helicopter or three, is what I’m saying. Although as both these movies have shown, a helicopter is by no means a foolproof means of escape . . . . hmmm. Personal jet pack, maybe? Speed-dial set to Sir Richard Branson? Cyanide tooth capsule for the worst case scenario (which in the case of Cloverfield, those of you who have seen it and also know about one of my personal phobias [no spoilers, now] can probably guess at which point I’d be chomping away for the sweet, sweet release of death — yeah, right about when that night vision revealed the you-know-whats)?

In other weekend movie news, this time from the Netflix category, I give two solid thumbs down to Sunshine. You may think, Danny Boyle and Alex Garland, how can it possibly go wrong? And the answer is, in many, many irritating, suspension-of-belief-stretched-beyond-all-limits and Freddy Kruger-ish ways.

PREGNANCY NEWS

Still pregnant. Whew, I guess. Except also: moooooooo.

SPEAKING OF PREGNANCY

After being totally inspired by these images, I searched around on Google for a Seattle henna artist, found one, and scheduled for her to come out to my house this afternoon and paint my giant belly. I’m weirdly excited about it and hope the results make for some good keepsake photos. I will of course share the outcome with you after I get some pictures, because I’m sure you’re just dying to see what it looks like when you henna a large white manatee.

TWO MORE DAYS

I have today off from work because it’s a holiday and so I only work two days this week. Then I go on maternity leave. This seems craaaaaazy and I keep wondering what I’m going to do with all this time off and then I remember: oh yeah.

WITCH’S TIT, COLD AS

The weather has plunged into unusually frigid temperatures — unusual for the mild Pacific Northwest, anyway — and I am bemoaning the fact that not one single coat I own can be closed over my protruding midsection. One of JB’s fleeces can be zipped up, but just barely — the sensation of being so snugly contained is oddly claustrophobic and I have to keep clawing it open to “breathe”. It would be stupid to buy a maternity coat now, so I’ve been making use of strategically draped scarves, which cascade down over my huge belly which sticks straight out from all of my too-small coats. This is just as awesomely fashionable as it sounds.

LASTLY

bugweirdos2_08.jpg

Can you believe I live with these nutbars? Man. And soon there will be three of them.

Comments

36 Responses to “Caps lock MENUDO!”

  1. Eric's Mommy on January 21st, 2008 11:19 am

    Do they actually make maternity coats?

  2. Alyson on January 21st, 2008 11:23 am

    Hey! I have a great HUGE swing coat you can borrow. It got me through the freak snow storm of December ’90 warm enough. Did I mention I was 8 months pregnant and stuck without bus transportation then? Seventeen years later, the coat is still great and in my closet. Do I ever throw clothes away?? Never! I have a sweater that my mom gave me that is older than I am!

  3. biscuit on January 21st, 2008 11:26 am

    Cloverfield = AWFUL
    You getting your belly painted = AWESOME!

    Can’t wait to see the pictures!

    PS: I’m due tomorrow + my large maternity coat from Old Navy is too snug. Either I need to spawn or it needs to be warm! ACK! I feel your pain, honey child!

  4. Angella on January 21st, 2008 11:27 am

    You went with Mona! She seems like someone who would be a riot to spend time with. She also shares my birthday, so that makes her special in my books.

    I do not know if my weak stomach could handle Cloverfield. Our group of girls opted for Juno instead – SO GOOD if you have not seen it.

    Enjoy all of your upcoming “free time” ;)

  5. warcrygirl on January 21st, 2008 11:30 am

    HAHAHA! Love the piccie of your guys. Nothing screams “CRIMEFIGHTERS!” like cool eyewear. Except, maybe all caps? What, no capes?

  6. Cari on January 21st, 2008 11:45 am

    Your family is awesome.

    I am really excited to see your painted belly because I love all things Pregnancy and Baby.

  7. Jummy on January 21st, 2008 11:49 am

    I cannot wait to see how your henna’ed belly turns out The images on that site are beautiful!

    Hooray for mat leave. I think number one on your list of things to do should be chillaxing. Then blogging.

  8. superblondgirl on January 21st, 2008 12:00 pm

    That pregnant belly henna thing is so cool!! And your house looks like mine, with the goggles – my son was running around wearing two pairs, arranged in various ways on his face, just yesterday. Boys apparently love goggles/masks.

  9. Banana on January 21st, 2008 12:11 pm

    JB’s face thing looks like it’s eating his nose.

    I think the henna belly is an awesome idea. Can’t wait to see how it turns out.

  10. Liz on January 21st, 2008 12:18 pm

    Weird, we saw both Cloverfield and Sunshine this weekend, too. I liked Sunshine, though. Cloverfield was awesome except for the possible vomiting. I saw some kid out in the lobby struggling to keep it together.

  11. Scott on January 21st, 2008 12:23 pm

    I just got back from Chicago, so I’ve had my expectations altered re: coldness. I’ve decided that it should never be below zero, ever.

    Love the picture. What is it with kids wearing sunglasses upside down? Sofia does that all the time.

  12. Amy M. on January 21st, 2008 12:25 pm

    Nice photo, though I’m confused as to how Riley’s mask is attached…

    Can’t wait to see the Henna belly.

    Thanks for the warning – guess I won’t see “Cloverfield” since I had REALLY bad motion sickness with “Blair Witch”. How was “I am Legend” in terms of panning & shakiness?

  13. el-e-e on January 21st, 2008 12:29 pm

    I saw I Am Legend this weekend and basically thought “Dude, I hope Linda has seen this!” the entire time. I had no idea THAT’s what it was going to be about. :) Fun, fun stuff.

  14. Naomi on January 21st, 2008 12:43 pm

    I haven’t seen Cloverfield and don’t want to, but I do want to see I Am Legend. That one looks good. I love the henna belly photos! Wow. I’m a pregnancy photographer, now I wish I was a henna artist too!! Ah well, I suppose I can’t do it all. Maybe I should hook up with a henna artist and offer that as a service… ahhh… I can’t wait to see your photos!

  15. Kate on January 21st, 2008 12:43 pm

    can’t wait to see how the belly turns out. I have to say that your blog keeps me entertained all the time. It makes me wonder if I will ever be ready for parenting (never mind pregnancy!!) though…

  16. Alex on January 21st, 2008 1:05 pm

    Love the Henna belly idea. Looking forward to pictures.

  17. moo on January 21st, 2008 1:06 pm

    I love, love, LOVE that picture so much, I had to come out of lurkdom to share. My 17 month old has just recently discovered the joy! of sunglasses, and will alternate putting them on our faces, putting them on his stuffed bear, and putting them on himself. Wish I could capture a picture like this, but I’d be laughing too hard to get a good shot.

    Boys are adorable.

  18. AmyChop on January 21st, 2008 1:31 pm

    i can’t wait to see the belly henna pictures!

  19. Kizz on January 21st, 2008 1:55 pm

    I work in Manhattan and live in Brooklyn. My comprehensive escape plan is to walk. Hey, it’s worked before…a couple of times. I just try not to think about the unworked out logistics of also bringing the cats and the elderly dog.

  20. Dawn on January 21st, 2008 1:56 pm

    I have no clue how I got here, but it’s Monday & I know I needed this laugh. That photo is priceless.

  21. Donna on January 21st, 2008 2:15 pm

    I got a henna tat armband with hibiscus in Hi in october, I loved it, and it lasted about 2 weeks. You have to leave it on as long a possible, and use the lemon juice to keep it wet at least 4 times so that it really stains. I’m a really white girl like you so ours won’t get as dark because we don’t have as much melanin for it to react to, but like I said, the longer you leave it on, like over night, the better it looks.
    I never thought of doing the pregnant tummy, that is very cool, and will def give them something to talk about in the o.r. during the c!

  22. Donna on January 21st, 2008 2:20 pm

    PS I had all these people asking about my tattoo, it was so awesome, and they all laughed when I told them it was a tattoo for people who can’t commit. For whatever reason, they all thought that was funny.
    Also, JB and Riley? Not very scary. LOL

  23. Kiwi on January 21st, 2008 2:47 pm

    As a NYC-er and Queens-Brooklyn border specifically, I am landlocked without hope of escape except for the fact that whatever’s attacking Manhattan will take a while to get to me. However, I also do not have cable or listen to the radio. So, I have two plans of escape – 1 of which is to run RUN if I hear about this shit happening immediately. 2, I have a stockpile of wooden planks to board up the windows, and I live on the top floor and have a plan to destroy the stairs of my walk-up. All the roofs run together and the grocery store is easily infiltrated.

    We like to show off our stockpile of wood.

  24. Jem on January 21st, 2008 3:01 pm

    I saw Cloverfield at the first midnight screening (it came out a day earlier in NZ, which means 2 days earlier than the US due to time differences). I was SO excited, except I get really bad motion sickness…I can’t play any time of 3D video game or watch home videos. So…ha. Ha. I watched about 5 minutes before I wanted to throw up, and had to watch the rest out of the corner of my eye and only open them when something good happened. I spent the whole time trying not to throw up, as well, but there was no way in hell I was leaving after how hyped up I had been about it.

    Thats so COOL about the henna! What a great idea! I can’t wait to see.

  25. Miss Cee on January 21st, 2008 3:10 pm

    Wow, that henna belly thing looks so amazingly cool – can’t wait to see yours.

  26. All Adither on January 21st, 2008 3:50 pm

    You need a coat? Both times I was pregnant I was so hot I drove my car with the heat off and windows down. In February.

  27. Amber on January 21st, 2008 4:57 pm

    Is that a letter D I see on your belly button in the henna picture? Perhaps a small clue to STP’s name? Or am I totally over thinking it?

  28. Kristin C on January 21st, 2008 5:00 pm

    I can’t wait to see Cloverfield!!! AHHHH!
    Also, the henna belly will be beautiful…and will hide the manatee factor..hopefully :-).

  29. Niki P on January 21st, 2008 5:08 pm

    I am so wildly envious of you and your giant pregnant belly and your nutbars. Of course I have my own version of nutbar here in my house so don’t worry that I am one of those scary stalker types!!
    I can’t wait to see the henna belly. Makes my ovaries ache.

  30. Dawn on January 21st, 2008 5:23 pm

    Christ, was I the ONLY person who didn’t see Cloverfield this weekend? Jeeez. Must get on that.

    Also, in re: the weather: I am entertained because I’m looking forward to moving out there this weekend because OMG WARM! You really don’t want to know how cold the midwest is right now.

  31. Lesley on January 21st, 2008 6:09 pm

    I LOVE YOUR HENNA BELLY. That is so unbelievably awesome. I trust the baby kept still and didn’t kick a foot into the ink as it was being applied!

    Also, Riley, in those sunglasses, looks like a cross between one of the Blues Brothers and Quentin Tarantino. Wicked!

  32. Lesley on January 21st, 2008 6:11 pm

    oh yeah, and re the maternity coat. A wool cape might be a good solution. Or in a pinch cut a hole in a blanket and throw it over your head :)

  33. Judith in NYC on January 21st, 2008 7:02 pm

    And I thought I was the only crazy New Yorker who just last week made plans with her son on where to meet in the event we survived the plague/apocalypse.

  34. Jan on January 22nd, 2008 8:37 am

    This is exciting. I think you and I (and one other commenter) are the only ones who saw “Sunshine”. We were very excited about this movie. We love science fiction and the previews looked fabulous. Guys in space suits jumping from one ship to another! The really cute guy from “Fantastic Four”! But that was, without a doubt, one of the worst movies I have seen. I realize in sci-fi you have to suspend disbelief, but c’mon. The incredibly burned guy lived for seven years? And the acting. Terrible. I wish I had those two hours back. I could watch “Transformers” again.

  35. Steve on January 22nd, 2008 8:58 pm

    That’s really cool. If you keep going, you know, um, up, you could do a couple pretty interesting designs and if done well, you could walk around with nothing but ear rings and a necklace and quit worrying about what clothes fit.

    How long do these things last – do they wash off? I think I’d like to look into it.

    Oh, and I know the baby’s name. It’s Scout isn’t it.

    Thanks,
    S

  36. Josh on January 23rd, 2008 8:36 pm

    Damn youz! Damn youz to hell! I want to know what the balls that monster looks like. I can only take so much viral hype dammit! I need to know!

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