I don’t remember Riley being a big spitter-upper. Sure, there were a few memorable occasions when he sprayed everything within twenty feet with his mighty milk-barf, and there was that time I had to scrape half-digested formula out of my shoelaces afterwards, but overall he mostly kept his meals to himself.

Dylan, on the other hand, is determined to drown this entire household in baby hork. I do ten thousand loads of laundry a day, thanks to this kid. Sometimes he just spits up a little, sometimes he spits up a lot, sometimes he projectile hurls across the entire room.

Frankly, it’s fucking gross. THERE I SAID IT. I love my kid but this is gross.

He doesn’t seem to be in any discomfort, his doctor wasn’t worried (“All kids spit up, some just do it more than others,” she said with a shrug), we burp him like we’re supposed to and I’ve even switched to “Sensitive Tummies” formula. What else can I do, other than look ahead to some wonderful date in the future when I can go a whole hour at a time without having someone throw up down my shirt?

Any suggestions from those of you who have also dealt with a bulimic baby more than welcome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to dig dried barf out of my LAPTOP KEYBOARD.

The only part of his body I can trust not to unpredictably hose me down with bodily fluids. Chomp chomp.


72 Responses to “Sir Pukes-a-Lot”

  1. Aunt Linda on February 19th, 2008 9:46 am

    Morning! Happy birthday … yes, I am a day late reading this. Your mom and I each have some old robes already stained that we will be happy to send you.

  2. Hey Meg on February 19th, 2008 10:24 am

    My baby spit up ALL THE TIME for the first 8 or so months of his life. He was what they called a ‘happy spitter’ since he was never in any discomfort (though I can’t imagine it’s a particularly pleasant experience several times a day – or hour.) I invested in bibs and burp cloths (I highly recommend the cotton/flannel receiving blankets to double as extra-large and absorbent burp cloths. Buy lots.) He was breastfed, so there wasn’t anything as far as switching formula that I tried. So long as he wasn’t uncomfortable, no one really seemed to mind (except the lady doing laundry and cleaning the never-ending spit up, of course!)

    Sad to say, you’ll get used to it.

  3. H on February 19th, 2008 10:47 am

    I’ve had a child and a couple of nephews who regularly did the projectile thing and we finally decided to only feed them in a room that was not carpeted. If there was a rug in the room, it had to be machine washable. It doesn’t do much for the clothing issue, but it saves your house from continually smelling like sour milk.

  4. andi on February 19th, 2008 10:51 am

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who called her baby gross. Both my kids were big barfers. It was ever so fun leaving the house and being self conscious not only of my super Jello belly, but also of my alluring rotten milk stench.

    And my poor couch has still not recovered from the nasty bodily fluid parade. One day I will take it out to the alley and put it out of its misery.

  5. rebecca on February 19th, 2008 11:01 am

    I too am dealing with a two-week old spitter-upper!! So, I have no advice, but sympathy galore. Just keep up with the laundry and he’ll grow out of it, I guess… that’s what I keep hearing.

  6. Stacy on February 19th, 2008 11:10 am

    Urgh. I know the feeling. I’ve been getting puked on down my shirt every morning now for a few weeks (Noah is 8 weeks old). The milk-barf pools in my bra. Sexy, huh?
    Everything I read and the docs say that spitting is normal for babies. I have no suggestions, just letting you know you are SO not alone right now.

  7. ginger on February 19th, 2008 11:10 am

    Isn’t it your birthday today? Were you waiting to see if anyone remembered, all shy-like? Well, then! Happy birthday!

    I think the great solution for avoiding baby hork, especially on your birthday, is to have JB feed and burp the baby.

  8. Lawyerish on February 19th, 2008 11:17 am


    That is all.

  9. Dawn on February 19th, 2008 11:32 am

    I still cannot get over how BIG his feet are.

  10. Sonia on February 19th, 2008 11:49 am

    I have a barfer too. Only now, it’s big kid barf because he’s 7 years old. ;-) When he was an infant the barfage coincided with a lot of crying and he was considered colicky. But by the 6 or 8 weeks old mark, the pediatrician thought it might be acid reflux. We started him on a medication that really seemed to help. I know there are tests to determine true acid reflux, but the pediatrician didn’t want to put him through testing. Since the med helped, we pretty much determined that we were on the right track. I doesn’t sound like Dylan is fussy AND pukey, so that would lead me to think it’s not acid reflux. Hmmm….line the furniture with Visqueen and hope for the best? I’m so helpful aren’t I? LOL! SORRY!!!

  11. Jane on February 19th, 2008 12:12 pm

    I echo the reflux comments. My son was a big puker, who it turns out had reflux something fierce. We did Zantac and then Prevacid, put rice cereal in the formula (watch out–CONSTIPATION–talk about the most brutal, heartwrenching experience to see a 5 week old trying to poop and screaming in pain). We also did Mylanta (not the children’s formula–it’s red and the dye can freak parents out)a 1/4 teaspoon in his bottles. Plus, we kept him upright for at least 30 minutes after each feeding (usually we put him in his carseat, which was more upright than a swing or bouncer). It all worked and didn’t work depending on the day. Sadly, it seems he just needed to “outgrow” it. Sorry!

  12. Christine on February 19th, 2008 12:33 pm

    Mine is 7 months and I still walk around smelling like puke. She will vomit even after being burped well, and after hours of being fed. She is just a puker!

    (Today I smell like regurgitated banana, red pepper and yogert. Lovely.)

  13. Katie on February 19th, 2008 1:05 pm

    Both of my boys were big on urping on everyone! Didn’t matter a bit if they’d been burped well or not, they’d just “urp, splat” all over ya! We did find a little Mylicon in each bottle of breastmilk with my oldest helped (he was the worst of the two), but my youngest, who’s 13 months now, still urps at the most in-opportune moments. Yesterday he did it just playing with his little people dump truck, so I’m used to hosing down toys as well as clothes daily. I think it ended at about 15-16 months of age with my oldest. Now he just spits food across the table. Unless Dylan’s losing weight, they’ll just chalk it up to the “some kids throw up” designation. It sucks, but we live through it!

    Love the feet! So chompable!

  14. Brid on February 19th, 2008 1:55 pm

    In addition to burp clothes placed everywhere, keeping a men’s button down shirt (like a flannel shirt) near where you keep the bottles to toss on for feedings might help. Sure, having to wear an “apron” isn’t the most attractive idea, but it might help keep you drier during feeding times and an old soft shirt you can just throw on and off and don’t care about is a lot easier to lose to the milk-funk.

    Such sweet feet!

  15. Angela on February 19th, 2008 2:12 pm

    “What else can I do, other than look ahead to some wonderful date in the future when I can go a whole hour at a time without having someone throw up down my shirt?”

    Gee, I thought I was done with these days in college.

  16. wilddreemer on February 19th, 2008 3:58 pm

    My son had the same problem and it wasn’t until he was 2 and still puking I discovered it was acid reflux, OOPS! Basically I just carried a lot of those cloth diapers/burp rags around and decided not to shower or wear fresh clothes since I was just going to get spit on.

  17. Aimee on February 20th, 2008 8:55 am

    OOOOOO I FEEL you pain sista!
    My son had severe reflux–so bad he stopped breathing on me at 3 months and I had to “bring him back”. I have since been known as the “reflux queen”. I found great resources on the baby boards on babycenter….what I found out and what helped my son?…..1. pediatricians KNOW NOTHING about this topic–they brush it off as like yours did “that they all spit up”…I was so pissed off that nobody was listening to me…and was told from someone on the reflux board to go see a gastro specialist —off we went to a GI—YOU MUST do this if you feel he is puking a ton!
    2. Don’t think I am a freak..but I also went to a child chiropractor and he was basically cured by this (i know it sounds weird and NO he will not “crack his back”)
    3. Things to try:
    -cereal in the bottle–if this upsets his tummy use oatmeal
    -keep changing formulas (I changed 7 times until he was put on the UNGODLY expensive formula made in the UK that literally cost $500 for 4 cans–luckily insurance covered it!
    -don’t listen to the Dr. –I know this sounds silly—but I would have never know what was wrong with my kid or how to help him if I didn’t research and be his advocate
    If you have questions or need some advice from a reflux queen–PLEASE feel free to contact me!

  18. lucidkim on February 20th, 2008 12:55 pm

    I didn’t read all the comments but enough to know what I was gonna say has been said, but since my daughter threw up a zillion times I wanted to chime in anyway…she was lactose intolerant and we switched to the formula that was lactose free which helped – she also just loved to be held and suck on a bottle so would overeat if a well-meaning relative (we won’t name names…) would feed her until she threw up – as if that was the cue: she’s done eating now…

  19. Lele on February 20th, 2008 2:02 pm

    Oh my! I am delurking to tell you that while I have no husband, no children, and am seemingly in an entirely different world than you right now, you just made me laugh milk out my nose. You are a fantastic writer and I am certain just as good of a mother. Best of luck to you!! Thanks for the entertainment :)

  20. Kay on February 20th, 2008 2:05 pm

    Sorry you got yourself a puker. But dadgum if he isn’t a dandy! Love those skis of his, nom, nom, nom!!!

  21. Canadian Coco on February 20th, 2008 2:10 pm

    Hi Linda, my firstborn spat up continuously, and I soon realized it wasn’t just ‘spitting up’ but more often than not vomitting – the projectile kind. The doctor kept reassuring me, switching formulas (I too can’t nurse), and basically just patted me on the head and sent me on my way each time (first time mothers get this a lot eh?). By 7 weeks old I’d had enough and took him to emergency to hopefully get some attention. An ultrasound proved he had Pyloric Stenosis and needed a minor stomach operation. He’d already lost a pound of weight and you could see his little ribs, poor guy. Trust your instincts and keep an eye on his weight. I’m not trying to scare you but felt I needed to share this…. just in case. And BTW my next 3 were fine, just normal spitter uppers :)

  22. amber on February 20th, 2008 4:41 pm

    I’ve been meaning to comment on Dylan’s feet, because WOW are they big. In every picture I do a double-take, like WHOA those are NEWBORN feet? My sympathy for all the kicking you endured has expanded.

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