On tap for the weekend: JB’s parents, visiting for a couple days on their way to Canada, whose grandparently presence will hopefully allow JB and I to escape on Saturday for dinner and a movie. This outing, should it occur as planned, shall serve as belated anniversary date (May 5, seven years!) and slightly premature Mother’s Day celebration, although . . . is it okay to celebrate Mother’s Day without the children? Because otherwise, let’s not lie, it’s less of a celebration and more, you know, business as usual.

Business, however, has greatly improved since my last post, which is — get ready for a big old no-shitter — the way parenting always seems to go. You get driven straight up the wall until you’re clinging to the ceiling, teeth chattering, hair standing on end, eyeballs comically protruding from your skull, index finger poised to hit the speed-dial option helpfully (and controversially) labeled “SIBERIA” . . . and then your toddler sweetly offers you a corner of his beloved blue blanket “so you can get comfable unda the blankie, Mommy”, and your 3-month-old sleeps right through the damn night, from 10 until 7, and wakes up cooing.

Sometimes it’s the unpredictable nature of all this that I love beyond measure, and sometimes I can’t help thinking, WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW FOR A LITTLE CONSISTENCY AROUND HERE.

So! What are you up to this weekend?


45 Responses to “Motherfickle”

  1. Akimbo on May 9th, 2008 1:39 pm

    Holy shit, I hear that. It seems that when I am at my wits end and my husband and I have had a “talk” (meaning, serious. adult. parenting. discussion. about a game plan for the child) and decided how to handle a “situation”, our 5.5 month old decides, “HAH Bitches. I think I’ll do something entirely different now.” SO NOT FITTING MY TYPE-A WAYS.

  2. warcrygirl on May 9th, 2008 1:49 pm

    This weekend? Thankfully there will be NO SOCCER. Instead the boys and I will head out to Lowes to build a memory box, then we will lay around the house and do nothing at all. Sunday is business as usual: church, laziness and baseball practice. I do have some presents coming my way, however my dozen roses from Hubby arrived today.

    Hope you have a great weekend!

  3. Katy B on May 9th, 2008 1:50 pm

    Revising stories for my fiction portfolio. Graduating with masters degree next week. It’s bittersweet – now I won’t have an excuse for EVERYTHING I don’t want to do. :)

  4. Sleepynita on May 9th, 2008 1:51 pm

    The dinner plans look great, I was just salivating over the menu – so not fair.

    It never fails that when your child drives you bat shit crazy up the wall where you just want to send him to Grandmas for the weekend; they turn on the cute cuddly charm,

    Damn little manipulators.

  5. Becky on May 9th, 2008 2:05 pm

    Sadly I will be packing my hubby up and shipping him and most of his belongings 800 miles away….he gets to start his new job Monday…and I get my 1st Mother’s day alone…

  6. Angella on May 9th, 2008 2:06 pm

    I am convinced that my children are really aliens from outer space. They make no sense whatsoever.

    This weekend?

    Doing two photo shoots! Woo!

    Much more fun than the accounting I usually do :)

  7. Leigh on May 9th, 2008 2:07 pm

    Um. JB has an answer to your penultimate question, there. Duh.

    Anyhoo, spending most of the weekend with my 14 year old son which could be a blast or a nightmare. We never know which way the hormones are swingin’ these days (HIM not me). We have a bike ride and then a bseball game and then a dinner date with Grandma. Hoping for an eye roll free time. That’ll happen.

  8. Jenna on May 9th, 2008 2:14 pm

    Ok, you are the second blogger that I read that shares the same anniversary day (5/5) and same year (01). A little frightening because what are the odds of that?

    So, happy anniversary. And early mom’s day. Dinner should serve as your anniversary dinner, and the movie, well you know the boys really wanted you to see whatever is at the top of your list.

  9. Jenna on May 9th, 2008 2:18 pm

    Adding to my comment above because I didn’t proofread. I didn’t say that that was my anniversary, too. It is.

  10. Swistle on May 9th, 2008 2:19 pm

    Yesterday evening I had a full-blown TEMPER TANTRUM when Paul came home, railing and storming about how life was so extremely frustrating and stressful. Then like an hour later I was making fudge and watching Gilmore Girls and feeling kind of sheepish. And today I’m all like “Woo hoo, everything is so awesome!” (Medication time?)

    I hope I’m getting some Mother’s Day celebration without the kids this weekend. A totally legit thing to ask for, if you ask me. We don’t give the bus driver a special day of getting to drive the bus.

  11. Di on May 9th, 2008 2:20 pm

    Let’s see – heading out tonight with the Mommy Mafia (the mom’s of our playgroup) for a baby shower dinner. Tomorrow, a kiddie birthday party and I have no idea what he’s got planned for my first mother’s day. Hopefully the not-so-subtle hints I’ve been leaving him have stuck.

  12. kalisa on May 9th, 2008 2:22 pm

    me & Big Daddy saw Iron Man last weekend. I don’t even like those kind of movies, but it was smart and funny and I predict you will love it b/c it kicked major ass.

  13. Lawyerish on May 9th, 2008 2:30 pm

    Happy anniversary and Mother’s Day! I definitely think celebrating MD sans bebes is a-ok. I like Swistle’s bus driver analogy. Hee.

    I ate at the Dahlia Lounge just a month ago when I was out there visiting my big brother and fam! It was delish; I got this insane chocolate and peanut butter dessert that was a total orgasm on a plate.

    Our weekend is currently devoid of plans (aside from the usual Netflix, gym, errands), although I hope they will include Giving Me a Lot of Presents for MD, even though *technically* our baby is a few thousand miles away, unaware that we exist. But she is STILL OUR BABY, and therefore I AM A MOM and deserve gifties and maybe a massage.

  14. Lesley on May 9th, 2008 2:35 pm

    It’s going to be a retail therapy weekend and I plan to see Iron Man.

  15. Jo on May 9th, 2008 2:37 pm

    Menu looks scrummy, enjoy your dinner :)

    Off to see ‘Made of Honour’ (and drool at Patrick Dempsey) with the girls tonight followed by cocktails to celebrate resigning from my job. Sleeping in tomorrow and then taking Mum out for lunch for Mother’s Day. All the while alternating between feeling excited and terrified about my upcoming move to Ireland!

  16. nonsoccermom on May 9th, 2008 2:58 pm

    Frankly, I’m just hoping for a nap.

    You and JB have a great time sans kids! I’m jealous.

  17. Naomi the Strange on May 9th, 2008 2:58 pm

    I’ve got my almost 3-year-old niece all weekend. Sunday I am taking my mom and my sister out for mother’s day brunch. Should be a good weekend! I’m really looking forward to having my niece, she’s got the maturity/personality/vocabulary advances of an about five or six year old, she’s SO fawking smart, it’s mind-blowing. Plus she’s a lot of fun. I love her to death.

    HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you!!

  18. Liz in Australia on May 9th, 2008 3:44 pm

    I get breakfast in bed, then a couple of hours off to lounge in bed and eat chocolate :) It might be a little shorter this year (breastfed 6mo and all) but my husband will be doing his best to keep them entertained.

  19. MRW on May 9th, 2008 3:48 pm

    My parents are sitting Saturday night so we can go to dinner and see Iron Man as well. Yes, that was my choice for the way to celebrate Mother’s Day. Been looking forward to Iron Man for some time because I’m a huge geek. Also looking forward to avoiding the bed time struggle and having a conversation with my husband that goes on for more than 2 minutes without interruption – pretty exciting stuff.

  20. Eric's Mommy on May 9th, 2008 4:12 pm

    I have family visiting this weekend too. Nothing fancy planned though.

    Enjoy your dinner and movie!!!!

  21. Ter on May 9th, 2008 4:33 pm

    Your last comment made me choke a little on my boozy beverage :) I giggle and smile now, remind me of entries like these when I’m in your place in, oh, three or four years.

  22. Ter on May 9th, 2008 4:37 pm

    Oh! Blonde moment… happy mother’s day! :) @—>— (man, I haven’t made a rose like that in years!)

  23. monkey on May 9th, 2008 5:02 pm

    Happy Mother’s Day!

    My boyfriend is taking me to a resort in Santa Monica as a belated birthday gift. Should be exciting.

  24. Meagan on May 9th, 2008 5:20 pm

    Of course you can celebrate Mother’s day without kids… I thought that was traditional? You know, adorable munchkin(s), lead in by dad, presents you with breakfast in bed and handmade card… then is dragged away for the rest of the day so you can take bubble baths or something. Anyway, don’t wish too hard for consistency… it could just as easily be consistently bad as consistently good.

  25. Jennifer on May 9th, 2008 5:24 pm

    Have a GREAT time on your date! Also, Happy anniversary and happy mother’s day – you definitely deserve a fun night out.

    My weekend is going to involve a lot of foot elevating with a little knitting and reading thrown in. I know, I know, you’re jealous of my glamorous existence! We actually have a baby shower for TRIPLETS on Sunday so that will likely cause my ovaries to cease production for the next twenty years.

  26. andrea on May 9th, 2008 5:28 pm

    Thinking about doing Mom and Me at the Zoo, but really I’d much rather do dinner at Dahlia. Guessing that won’t fly since we ate there last week. Sunday I have put in a request for some heavy cleaning, since I purchased my own Mother’s Day gifts last week, maternity clothes to fit on my fat ass.

  27. All Adither on May 9th, 2008 6:01 pm

    Sweet title.

  28. Sara on May 9th, 2008 6:46 pm

    My sista graduates tomorrow with honors with a degree in mathematics. (!!!) There will be much partying and eating. And lots of family. Between tomorrow and Mother’s Day, I think this weekend will be filled with enough family time to last me until October. Of 2010.

    We are also trying for Second Child. Our son is almost 2.5 years old, and we’re ready for number 2. So this weekend will also include LOOOOOOTS of sex. We’re early enough into the TRYING that sex is still fun. I expect the fun to last about another week.

  29. ang on May 9th, 2008 7:39 pm

    Well, I did foresee a long nap, movie with the kid and spouse, followed by a Mother’s Day cookout. However, the spouse either has the ‘flu or food poisoning. So…..

  30. Belle on May 9th, 2008 7:51 pm

    Ooh, I loved it when the kiddo woke up cooing. How sweet a memory!

    The adult daughter and boyfriend are coming over in the afternoon so we can cook them ham. The boyfriend loves ham….but it’s my favorite, too, so what the hell.

    The adult son? Who knows. He might show up, he might not. And if he does, he’ll try to mooch signing his sister’s card that she always remembers to buy me and he so doesn’t.

  31. Magnolia on May 9th, 2008 8:11 pm

    Since we’re broke and the hubby has to work it’ll be me and the girls doing our hair and beauty treatments after we stuff our face with a home made southern brunch on sunday..tomorrow is our weekly play date and this time I’m making the dinner of roasted lemon garlic chicken mmmm.

  32. Mnerva on May 9th, 2008 8:44 pm

    I THOUGHT it was your anniversary on Cinco de Mayo! One of your commenters even mentioned it, but I doubted both their memory & mine. Anyway, happy belated anny! And here’s to you having a wonderful, if sans children, Mother’s Day. I just saw Iron Man this week, and it was very enjoyable and entertaining.

  33. Dawn on May 9th, 2008 9:00 pm

    Keeping my fingers crossed that today’s insanely nice weather holds so I can more fully a) enjoy tomorrow night’s baseball game and b) abuse the driving privileges I have on my boyfriend’s convertible while he’s out of town.

  34. Gertie on May 10th, 2008 1:46 am

    You’ve reminded me that life (even one without children) is just one big rollercoaster and I’d have more fun if I could just learn to sit back and enjoy the ride. Thanks for that, and for the laughs (lurv your posts)!

    So for my weekend, I’m doing a 16-mile training walk (I’m walking the MoonWalk marathon in Edinburgh, in June, in my BRA!) and then going grocery shopping. Afterwards I’m going to assemble a many coursed meal and serve it on my roof-top patio while watching yet another wonderful sunset.

  35. Emily on May 10th, 2008 5:20 am

    Happy seven years! Congrats, and stuff. This weekend is my FIRST WEEKEND NOT IN IRAQ in a million trillion months, so I am going to marinate in Western Infidel Culture (and maybe even buy a PURSE) until I feel sufficiently human again.

  36. Emily on May 10th, 2008 5:23 am

    P.S. Just noticed that your dinner date is the place with the smashed avocados! Hehehe … I still wonder how the waitress uttered that phrase with a straight face.

  37. Katie on May 10th, 2008 11:36 am

    Will you tell us what you order? It all looks so good.

  38. deanna on May 10th, 2008 6:18 pm

    get ready for these exciting weekend plans! its currently saturday night at 9pm and im WORKING, just like i did last night and the night before! [when will these children understand that getting sick on the weeekends and requiring icu stays is NOT COOL and messes up my social itinerary?!?! kidding….kinda.] i do start a 2 week vacation from work in a mere TEN HOURS [but whos counting?], the front end of which i will spend studying furiously for what is going to be an insanely difficult pedatric pathophysiology final on thursday [what kind of insane drug-induced/drunken judgement-impairing state was i in when i thought grad school was a good idea?!?!]. however, it will all be worth it on friday when i get to fly out of insane and grimy nyc for buffalo to spend a week with friends and family. [yes im excited to go to BUFFALO!!!]

    happy mothers day!
    –deanna :)

  39. rachel on May 10th, 2008 9:54 pm

    right now I’m at my parents’ house listening to the rain outside.. they’re taping numbers onto a new mailbox which is currently just sitting in the middle of our living room…

  40. Victoria on May 10th, 2008 11:07 pm

    I was thinking of pouting for the rest of the weekend, with a small break for telling my Mom how awesome she is.

  41. Erin on May 11th, 2008 7:37 am

    Glad things turned a corner for you.

    I HEAR you on the consistancy thing. Sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the fun moments because you’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop (what the hell does that mean, anyway?).

    Happy Mother’s Day, Sundry! Thanks for sharing yourself with all us other moms out here. I identify with everything you write, and somehow it makes my own job more manageable. I really appreciate that.

  42. Mags on May 11th, 2008 8:54 am

    Totally agree. Love your work…and my daughter Fiona was born the same day as Dylan. Happy Mother’s Day!

  43. Lesley on May 11th, 2008 1:04 pm
  44. Jill on May 12th, 2008 5:30 am

    Happy belated anniversary! Oh, and mother’s day, while we’re at it.

    Since you asked, I spent the weekend unpacking, watching sporting events, and actually turning on the fireplace because it was 45 degrees out in May oh my holy hell.

  45. Tara on May 12th, 2008 9:05 am

    First off–happy anniversary!! My hubby & I celebrated 7 years on 4/21.

    And second–boy, do I ever hear you on the consistency thing. As soon as you decide re: your kid(s) either that the world is ending, or that life couldn’t get any more beautiful, the opposite happens. They sure do make things interesting, don’t they?

    Happy Mother’s Day!

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