Sometimes when I’m blowdrying my hair or driving to work or hauling yet another wet load of laundry out of the machine or whatever I compose blog posts in my head. They are, of course, nearly perfect in every way — a Matrix-like spread of sparkling, winking letters, trailing down the pages of this website one after another, just so, just so, laid out before you in truth and raw beauty and I say come with me, because here behind the pixels I am brave. Everything is spelled correctly and the instances of the term “jizz holster” are few. I do not rely on filler photos and I don’t bother worrying about what people will think and there is all the time in the world to say what I want. A lively hum fills the air. Maybe, also, the faint smell of something pleasant: say, vanilla.

It never quite works out that way, though, does it? So I’ll just say that summer isn’t quite as relaxing as I remember it being and I suspect it has something to do with parenthood, I would like it if my job could find a happy medium between So Fucking Bored I Have Found the End of the Internet More Than Once and Racing Dry-Mouthed in a Full-Body Panic To Meet Some Godawful Deadline, and I kind of wish all of us BlogHer attendees could just be laid back enough to show up in comfy jeans and sweatshirts because man, I don’t know what the hell to pack for this whole shindig, and hot damn this is going to be a hectic week and did I mention Dylan has a rotten cold, and LOOK, PHOTOS:








35 Responses to “Inside the norm”

  1. Connie on July 14th, 2008 9:33 pm

    OMG– I don’t like kids and the 5th photo makes me want to get pregnant

  2. Ash on July 14th, 2008 9:35 pm

    I jave the exact same thoughts! I have just started me own blog.. and unfortunatly i feel that it doesnt come out quite right when i put it on paper (well online).

    Your blog is excellent, and i love the picture fillers!

  3. Jennifer on July 14th, 2008 9:48 pm

    I used to compose beautiful journal entries in my head while out on 8-hour bike rides, then of course after returning I couldn’t even remember word one.

    Thanks for the photo of the Exersaucer. WHOA there’s a lot of little fun activities on there!

  4. Naomi on July 14th, 2008 9:50 pm

    Make sure you bring warm clothes to BlogHer because San Francisco is FREEZING, like, all the time. The weather here SUCKS. But I think you’ve been here before, I remember you saying something about it a while back. Anyway, I think all writers compose in their head and then when it comes out on paper… well all those lovely words in your head seem to vanish. LOL happens to me all the time. :)

  5. Kelly Fodel on July 14th, 2008 9:52 pm

    Dog looks so happy, and the boys are getting so big!

    I always enjoy your writing, especially when it concerns jizz holsters.

  6. Delia on July 14th, 2008 10:04 pm

    I compose perfect entries in my sleep and then can’t remember a thing when I wake up. Were they ever really there?

  7. Leah on July 14th, 2008 10:46 pm

    Every year I get all worked up for BlogHer and buy a new outfit and plan some extravagant hairdos and make all sorts of plans to do my nails and be sparkling and charming or whatever…and then every year I end up wearing the old outfit I packed “just in case,” and I bite off my fingernails during breakfast, and I say something stupid to a stranger, and then I say something stupider to someone I admire, and then I realize that none of it really matters because, as backward as it seems, who I am is so much more in what I write online than in what I act like on one crazy-ass weekend. So: I will be the one in the 10-year-old $3 shoes with the lining peeling up from the back (check if you don’t believe me) and trying to remember that yes, that’s who I am more than anything else and that’s okay.

  8. Lesley on July 14th, 2008 11:00 pm

    You’ll be the most toned, fit, svelte, hot blogherette there so don’t worry about the clothes, the nails or the hair. Also, never worry about the blog because everything you write is witty, interesting and entertaining. Thirdly, the pix are always awesome. I don’t know what the heck that multi-faceted contraption is that makes Dylan look like a mini-rocket scientist but it cracks me the hell up every time.

  9. Anonymous on July 15th, 2008 3:00 am

    Oh, that photo with JB, Dog and Riley. It is just so perfect and lovely and cool!

    Btw, Dylan in the exersaucer looks a lot like you.

  10. Karen on July 15th, 2008 3:58 am

    I hope it’s okay with you – I am so borrowing jizz holster today. There’s a guy at work in desperate need of a new nickname. Thankyouverymuch, haveaniceday.

  11. Swistle on July 15th, 2008 4:06 am

    All the internet-wide fashion preparation for BlogHer makes me not want to ever go. I’d been ASSUMING it was a come-as-you-are thing and that I’d wear my regular jeans and t-shirts. But gradually the horror is dawning: NO, it is in fact an opportunity for HEELS and HIP FASHION. *shudder*

  12. Melissa on July 15th, 2008 4:33 am

    I’m constantly composing in my head…just never seem to be able to type it out. Great pics! The kids are adorable and JB looks like a sexy dad….not trying to make a pass at you, JB. It’s just that there is something hot about a guy who loves his kids. Linda, you are great at capturing that.

  13. Kendra on July 15th, 2008 4:57 am

    Well. You may feel rushed and stressed, but the pictures tell a different sort of story and definitely project that vibe you were going for. (Of course, you’re not IN any of them. Hmmm.)

  14. claire on July 15th, 2008 5:54 am

    I know exactly what you mean about work; my job goes from all out boring to so busy it’s sick ALL the time. And I find myself putting less of me into work, now that I have to use brain space for baby. It’s easier now that he’s not in helpless infant mode but still… And in terms of Blogher, I personally think most of the attendees will agree with you about the dress. Wear what you want!

  15. warcrygirl on July 15th, 2008 6:06 am

    Dylan makes chunky thighs look so attractive. And the cuteness? NOM NOM NOM.

  16. Clueless but Hopeful Mama on July 15th, 2008 6:10 am

    I imagine that, someday, Dylan and Riley’s wives/girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands(!)/partners might want to display some adorable photo of them as children on a mantlepiece and blithely ask you for “one or two of the best”. And you will have to ask the flat bed truck to bring in the zip drives/flash cards/memory sticks/whatever storage system is working those days, because DEAR GOD you have SO MANY AMAZING photos of them.

  17. MrsWaltz on July 15th, 2008 6:16 am

    Did you see me there? At the end of the Internet, I mean…(my job has a rhythm much the same as yours, it sounds like, LOL)
    I have to say, if your mental blog is really that superior (notwithstanding instances of “jizz holster” which, really, can only enhance the text, IMHO) then I’m almost glad you can’t reproduce that online. Some of us (okay, fine, I shouldn’t speak for other people — *I* then) would be too intimidated to even leave comments if this blog were any better.
    Have fun at BlogHer, no matter what you wear.
    Oh, and Leah? If you happen to be a size 8 and want a 12-year-old pair of $120 shoes, you could borrow mine :)

  18. Katie on July 15th, 2008 7:00 am

    I really like your ‘filler’ photos.

    Pack something WARM. That is what I didn’t know about SF it is COLD – not just a little chilly – all.the.time.

    I have been meaning to tell you, that we just got back from a weekend trip to SF. It was our first time to visit, and it was just for fun. So I printed off all the suggestions of things to do and places to eat from your readers. Our favorites from the list were Romicon (?) and ChaChaCha – so good! We looked for the Salted Caramel icecream place in the mission district but couldn’t find it. :( But I wanted to say THANK YOU to your readers for such good suggestions! Did you even know you were in the tour guide business?

  19. kalisa on July 15th, 2008 7:08 am

    what a bunch of good-looking boys

  20. Janet Powell on July 15th, 2008 8:00 am

    Hello! I know someone asked you this before, but would you mind telling again what kind of camera you use?

    I know a lot of it is user talent, but you have just such great pix that I want to grow up to be just like you.

    Janet, Miami

  21. Sadie on July 15th, 2008 8:11 am

    My favorite thing here is Dog’s eager tongue, desperately seeking a swath of flesh to lick while she knows people are laughing and distracted.

  22. Kelsey on July 15th, 2008 8:54 am

    I LOVE the pictures, always, so please, fill away!

    But I also love your writing, which manages to sparkle on a regular basis.

    My blog would be awesome if every post I constructed while showering or preparing meals made it onto the computer. I know exactly what you mean.

  23. #6 on July 15th, 2008 9:21 am

    Was that “suspicion” that reared its head in the last photo of Riley? Oh I think it is!! I think it is!!

    #6 singing “We can’t go on together, with Suspicious Minds”

  24. #6 on July 15th, 2008 9:23 am

    I meant the last photo of Dylan. Riley seems to be out growing his constant suspicion, first photo not withstanding

  25. Maria on July 15th, 2008 9:58 am

    I’m a new blogger and I do the same exact thing. For me, it’s while driving to and from work, in the shower, or while sitting on endless conference calls that I really don’t even need to be on, but keep getting invited to anyway.

    BTW, I have the same exersaucer! Although yours looks much cleaner than mine. Hmmm…better take care of that.

  26. Jess on July 15th, 2008 10:12 am

    You are so damn funny. Have fun at blogher, I cant wait to hear all about it. Also new to the blog world, and composing blogs sometimes feels like my head is going to catch on fire. Since I have been a mom, my brain isnt what it used to be so I thought this would be good for me, kind of like eating beets, without the red teeth.

  27. Marie Green on July 15th, 2008 12:16 pm

    Oh, the Blogher-what-to-wear pressure! I’m pretty sure if I never attend it will be because of that reason ALONE.

  28. Victoria on July 15th, 2008 12:24 pm

    Love, love, love these photos !

  29. Average Jane on July 15th, 2008 1:37 pm

    Wait a minute. We’re NOT wearing sweatshirts and jeans to BlogHer? I don’t know about everyone else, but that’s what I’m wearing most of the time (except on Saturday night, which seems a little fancier).

  30. Evening Musings - The Space Suitcase on July 15th, 2008 8:48 pm

    […] In the midst of all of this, like the awesome Sundry I must have written at least a dozen blog posts in my head. Unlike the awesome Sundry, I can’t distract you with cute pictures of red-headed babies and suspicious toddlers until I have a chance to commit these awesome posts to the keyboard. Until I can wind-down and think again after these really, really crazy days, all I can offer is a cat picture, which was not taken during the fret-filled weekend, but could have been, as this is how the cats spent their 36-hour recovery period. Enjoy! […]

  31. superblondgirl on July 16th, 2008 9:08 am

    I like that both Riley and Dog are ready to lick JB, there. Kids are hilarious.

    And the blog posts in the head? I wish someone would invent a brain-to-blog transcriber, because then my blog would be updated regularly with awesome, witty commentary, and it would be all sparkly and perfect.

  32. Lindy on July 16th, 2008 2:41 pm

    Ha!! I write the most fantabulous witty post in my head. Then a get some sort of electrical short/brain aneurysm while I type and well I just have one thing to say-photos are my friend. Say it with me- photos are my friend.

  33. X on July 17th, 2008 9:58 pm

    I’m awesome at blogging in my head too, while I’m driving, taking a shower, on an assignment at work or doing anything else that prevents me from typing.

  34. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken « The Chaos Inside My Head on July 18th, 2008 6:17 am

    […] I was reading Sundry’s entry from a couple days ago and she was talking about how she produces these amazing blog entries in her head and when she sits down to write, the magic dissipates. That’s how I feel sometimes. When I’m sitting in the car or when I’m watching tv, I think up these great blogs that just flow and slide across the page, but when I actually have time to sit down and write, I’m at a loss for words. I used to carry a pad and paper whereever I went, but I haven’t done that in, at least, six or seven years. The only problem with me writing things down is that then it’s not taking up space in my head and I forget about it or I move on to something else. […]

  35. Gaby on July 18th, 2008 7:35 am

    Not that I’m stalking you or anything, but I was wondering why you’ve started twittering in an Asian language…just curious!

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