First things first: the thrilling revelation behind CAT OR HAM. I just spent about ten minutes reading the comment answers out loud to JB, who furiously typed them into some chart-making whatsit, and the effect of saying “Cat. Ham. Ham. Cat. Ham. Cat. Cat. Ham,” over and over and over was . . . well, it was funny, let’s just say that. I got myself laughing so hard I had tears running down my face and I could barely squeak out the cats and hams, and JB had to threaten to slap me, Airplane-style.

Anyway, here are the compiled results:

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The actual answer: CAT AND HAM WEIGH THE SAME. Both were 11 pounds on my bathroom scale, and that should tell you two things:

1) We should maybe think about switching to the Purina ¬°El Gato Gordo! Chow

2) We bought an eleven-pound ham for four adults. Thankfully, JB’s parents made it for our Christmas Eve dinner tonight, but damn. We have a lot of leftover ham, you guys. A LOT.

The randomly-chosen winner out of the people who did guess correctly — that CAT and HAM weigh the same — is Donnathedead. Congratulations, Donna! Please enjoy this extra-festive gift card that JB made all by himself!

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Oh, and since that’s a pretty crappy prize, I also donated $50 (5 “shares” of a ham pig) to Heifer International in Donna’s name.

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In other news, I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful day tomorrow. It has been a great joy to connect with you over this last year (years!), and I want to thank you for coming by this little corner of the internet. Happy holidays to all of you!

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Comments

43 Responses to “Not a creature was stirring (EXCEPT CATS AND HAMS)”

  1. Carmen on December 25th, 2008 12:23 am

    Happy Holidays to you too, Linda! I enjoy every post here at Sundry Mourning and I’m looking forward to the coming year’s worth of new material!

  2. Jennifer on December 25th, 2008 12:47 am

    That’s great that you donated to Heifer International. Our family has given each other shares of oxen and cattle as gifts for years, it’s a good organization. Thank you!

    Best wishes to you for a great holiday with family and lots of ham (not cat) sandwiches!

  3. Kristi on December 25th, 2008 12:58 am

    Hope you have a wonderful, peaceful day!

    With the weather as crazy as it’s been around here lately, I had my husband get some stuff at the grocery store for me. I put “ham” on the list knowing FULL WELL I should have been much more explicit. He came home with a 20-pound ham for our little family of 4, (2 of which are the pickiest eaters on the planet, and one of which is a vegetarian!!!) He must have really wanted ham…..

    Fortunately, our cat does NOT weigh as much as our ham.

  4. Victoria on December 25th, 2008 1:00 am

    :)

  5. mnerva on December 25th, 2008 1:09 am

    Awww, a tie? No fair. I joke you! Lurve ya Linda, and I want to thank you for creating this little corner of the internet. :-)

  6. Andee on December 25th, 2008 2:26 am

    Happy Holidays to you all! :)

  7. lara on December 25th, 2008 2:41 am

    Merry Christmas Linda & family.

  8. Emma on December 25th, 2008 3:57 am

    Have a totally fab Christmas day – I’ve no doubt it will be a lovely time and everyone will have a blast.

    Happy Christmas from the Channel Islands xx

  9. Jen - Mom of 4 on December 25th, 2008 5:12 am

    Very cute! I’m impressed with JB’s “writing” skills! Cat is big, but he needs to come meet my cat, Oliver, who is 25 pounds. :0)

  10. Mrs. Who on December 25th, 2008 5:30 am

    Merry Christmas from Lexington, Kentucky.

    (Ham freezes beautifully.)

  11. Donna on December 25th, 2008 5:38 am

    It is 5 am here and I wake up to find my name written in the snow, and now the rest of the household is up wanting to know why I am laughing hysterically.
    I am also totally in awe of JB’s writing skills, and will forever measure everyone against him in this regard. Tell him to put it back in his pants now, as it looks cold there, heh heh heh!
    Also thank you for the donation, that is so very cool of you to do, pet up the cat, (if you give him some leftover ham, that would be good too since he/she helped me win!)
    Hope Santa was very good to you this year, you guys rock! Merry Christmas, you made my day!

  12. Mel on December 25th, 2008 5:40 am

    Merry Ho Ho. Hope the kiddies have a great day and you and JB enjoy watching them get UBER excited. That’s my favorite part of the whole day, well that and watching my youngest and her cousin (3 months older) play together…so sweet my teeth hurt!

    LOVE LOVE LOVE’d reading each and every one of your posts and look forward to another great year of doing just the same.

  13. biscuit on December 25th, 2008 6:16 am

    Damn. Should always go with 1st instincts. Maybe next year I will get my own urine moniker. Please continue the cat vs ham tradition.

    :)

    Happy Jesus Birthday!

  14. beach on December 25th, 2008 6:35 am

    Merry Christmas to you and yours !

  15. Swistle on December 25th, 2008 6:50 am

    Happy holidays! Next year I’m asking Santa to pee my name in the snow.

  16. Christine Brandel on December 25th, 2008 6:53 am

    Merry Christmas!!

  17. Felicia on December 25th, 2008 7:03 am

    Dude, I want my name peed in the snow! (Although that was a great donation too.)

    Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  18. Kate on December 25th, 2008 7:43 am

    Merry Christmas! Hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family.

    And what an awesome donation – I love that organization!

  19. Paige on December 25th, 2008 7:54 am

    I just posted my Christmas entry, where I was very careful to avoid dropping my usual f-bombs in honor of baby jesus’s birthday. Then I come here and realize with the bloggers I keep for company, I have nothing to worry about! ;)

    Merry Christmas to you and your family! Thank you for sharing your lives…your blog is something I look forward to reading everyday!

  20. diane on December 25th, 2008 8:06 am

    Merry Christmas to you and your entire family including Auntie and Mister!!

  21. Belle on December 25th, 2008 9:05 am

    May you and your lovely family have a very Merry Christmas! It seems so long ago that I was a young mother….until I read your latest post, and then I remember it all so very well. And, yes, I’d go through it all again! Enjoy it while it lasts, because it goes by so fast….

  22. SamT on December 25th, 2008 9:25 am

    As the televised yulelog crackles in the background, here’s to a happy Christmas to your family and all the readers of the blog. YOU ROCK! I am so very glad that you’ve shared your thoughts over these years.

    Hope you have a day of silliness and fun, Linda, JB and the fam.

  23. JenniferB on December 25th, 2008 9:31 am

    That was awesome — and losing is totally worth it because I still got to see a picture of your son in a reindeer hat — awesome! ;) Merry Christmas to you all!

  24. Laura on December 25th, 2008 10:21 am

    I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday! Much love!!!

  25. Shannon on December 25th, 2008 11:03 am

    Merry Christmas! Thanks for all the laughs through out the year!

  26. JudithNYC on December 25th, 2008 11:43 am

    Merry Christmas to you! And thank you for sharing your journey with us.

  27. Philos on December 25th, 2008 12:01 pm

    Damnit, I suspected it was a trick question! I want credit for accurately estimating Cat’s weight. :-) Cat probably doesn’t need diet food as long as his/her (can never remember which) weight’s steady.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family!

  28. Eric's Mommy on December 25th, 2008 1:57 pm

    CAT HAM CAT CAT HAM HAM CAT!
    hahahaha

    Merry X-mas to you and your adorable family!

  29. Donna (not the "lucky" one!) on December 25th, 2008 2:00 pm

    Linda: I hope you and your family are having a wonderful day and a merry Christmas — and thank YOU for all the laughs and tears you’ve given us over the year(s). When I’m reading on line journals, I still always save the best for last and read you after everyone else.

  30. Julie on December 25th, 2008 2:04 pm

    I just realized I was having a Sundry moment when I am eating one of those chocolate chip cookies you gave the recipe for, listening to “Japura River” and reading your blog. Thanks for sharing your story with everyone. Merry Christmas to your lovely family!

  31. Michelle on December 25th, 2008 2:23 pm

    I have totally ceased to care about sounding like a freaky fangirl. Adore you and your entire family and I would totally piss that message into the snow if it were only possible.

    Happy Christmas and have a kick ass 2009.

  32. Christine on December 25th, 2008 5:14 pm

    Oh well, you know what they say, the camera always puts on three pounds. For cats that is.

  33. telegirl on December 25th, 2008 7:26 pm

    Merry Christmas, Linda. We’ve got a lot of snow down here in Bend, too. Good for sledding and being lazy (except for the snow shoveling… drat!). Happy New Year!

  34. Ellen on December 25th, 2008 7:27 pm

    Missed the cat vs. ham excitement, but wanted to say Merry Christmas! We’re at this amazing family-friendly place in Florida (photos on my blog) but, this may sound crazy, when I saw your beautiful snowy home I missed the snow.

  35. kristylynne on December 25th, 2008 8:18 pm

    Damn, you people are funny. I was one of the ones who guessed “tie,” and I’m pretty disappointed that it wasn’t MY name in the snow.

  36. kristylynne on December 25th, 2008 8:21 pm

    … especially since I live in Texas and it was 74 degrees today.

  37. Maria on December 25th, 2008 8:52 pm

    I have challenged my husbands pee-script prowress come next snow storm to see if he can match up. We shall see.

    I very much enjoy your blog, and thank you for sharing your life. Happy holidays to you and your family!

  38. sara moon on December 26th, 2008 12:15 pm

    Thank you for sharing your life with us, Linda. This is my favorite site on the whole wide internet. Happy Holidays to you and your beautiful family. Keep the posts comin’ in 2009…I love it here!

  39. AR Gal on December 26th, 2008 4:28 pm

    I just realized I didn’t have any ham for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year! Bummer :(

    Glad you and yours had a wonderful holiday. And thanks SO much for your donation to Heifer Int’l!! Your kindness and generosity will do so much to help us continue with our mission.

    Sincerely….A Heifer Employee in LR, AR. :)

  40. Colleen on December 26th, 2008 6:20 pm

    Hey– just read your twitter about JB’s dad. Hoping everything turns out ok.

  41. samantha jo campen on December 26th, 2008 8:48 pm

    I’ll bet JB was thankful the winner’s name wasn’t longer, otherwise he would have had to ‘prepare’ for it :-)

    Merry Christmas to you all as well (a day late!).

  42. Dianna on December 27th, 2008 12:08 am

    Wow, I’m shocked they weighed the same! We have a ton of ham leftover, too. Not quite as much as you guys, but still a lot! Hope you all had a wonderful day!

  43. Josh on December 29th, 2008 3:00 pm

    JB is clearly the shit, and has reminded me all about the true meaning of Christmas.

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