• For an 18-month-old, at least my own personal 18-month-old, there can be no such thing as too many in-car DVD viewings of Baby Einstein’s Baby MacDonald: A Day on the Farm. For a 35-year-old, repeat play will eventually cause your brain to partially tear loose of its moorings and attempt to escape from the left eardrum, but I guess it’s better than having them spend 6+ hours purposefully spitting in each other’s mouths?

• Riley’s 6-year-old cousin Brodie is a stunningly sweet-natured soul who doesn’t seem to have an impatient bone in his body. Which makes him a very tolerant playmate for Mr. Loudmouth Dictator-Pants.

3856676637_c8a89fa54b

(“IT PUTS THE BOARD AGAINST THE STEPS TO MAKE A TRUCK RAMP. IT DOES THIS WHENEVER IT’S TOLD.”)

• If you wait to have the birthday party until early afternoon when the winds come barreling down the river, you are going to have to group-fake the candle blowout scene.

3856676695_3e03e35a5f

Later, there will be a tender moment when your child turns to you with Bambi Eyes and says, “But what happened to the three inside me? It didn’t get blowed out when I turned four because the candle didn’t light.” Compounding the confusion is the fact that your child’s actual birthday isn’t until the 31st, but whatever, the candle do-over means he’s FOUR, dammit.

• Dylan thought Inc.’s list of America’s fastest-growing private companies was complete crap, primarily because it did not include a cow.

3856676809_f3e96ea2de

• Nothing in the world is as fun as throwing rocks in a river.

3857467788_b2f96a887d

• Someone always be fucking up the fambly photos. Wafflebombed!

3856676589_011a512692

Comments

49 Responses to “Things I learned last weekend”

  1. beach on August 25th, 2009 5:30 pm

    fun weekend…worth the drive…and dylan just kills me.

  2. natalie on August 25th, 2009 5:54 pm

    A fantastic birthday weekend… happy early four to Riley!

  3. Amy on August 25th, 2009 6:16 pm

    Very cool! And I needede a smile…just got wanded by an ultrasound tech who looked suspiciously like Mrs. Doubtfire!!! Yikes.

  4. Courtney on August 25th, 2009 7:11 pm

    Oh my gosh! Riley’s already 4? Wasn’t he just born when I started reading (and went back and read the archives of) All and Sundry in December? Kids grow up so quickly!

  5. Jill on August 25th, 2009 7:19 pm

    That Photo Bomb website? Is the freaking bomb! I’m crying laughing right now… Oh and your vacay looks pretty rad too! So jealous you can rock the pigtails so well.

  6. Lindsay on August 25th, 2009 7:21 pm

    Chuckling out loud at your wafflebomb pic. hilarious. Best to accept now that all photos will just be facked up, always, and do away with any hope otherwise.

  7. Elaine on August 25th, 2009 7:44 pm

    “It puts the board against the steps to make a truck ramp….” Hah! Brilliant.

  8. Amy on August 25th, 2009 8:14 pm

    p.s. Your highlights are divine. :)

  9. Amy on August 25th, 2009 9:13 pm

    What about that fiddle music that plays when the Day on the Farm menu comes up? Drives. Me. Beyond. Insane. Lucky for you (and me!) that DVD doesn’t seem to lose its appeal as we draw close to 2 years old. Goody!

  10. Kari on August 25th, 2009 9:20 pm

    Okay, I laughed out loud a few times. Your family looks terrific as always.

    And this isn’t intended to fall on the wrong side of the admiration line, but is JB on your fitness kick, too? He’s a great looking guy, of course, but he looks particularly fit in this one.

    Yeah, that really isn’t intended to be creepy. Just a gorgeous family, all around.

  11. shriek house on August 25th, 2009 9:29 pm

    Ahaha, my husband and I were just talking about an upcoming roadtrip and when I said something about making sure we had enough videos loaded on the ipod he worried that might be TOO MUCH VIDEO. Uh. No, dear, sayeth I. No.

  12. haitian american family of three on August 25th, 2009 10:18 pm

    We tried using headphones for our 2 year old which worked for about 3 seconds-there needs to be a way to impart the sound directly to the brain in a star trek mind meld kind of way.

  13. theGoriWife on August 25th, 2009 10:31 pm

    I was a bossy kid growing up (slash now.) My 3rd grade teacher even had to have a “talk” with me, saying that if I could learn to be less bossy, I’d find more success with my classmates and she’d reward me with a pizza lunch date. It is painful to watch old family movies because in them I am always such a dictator brat. I wish I’d had a cousin back then who would patiently and lovingly build my ramps for me (slash also now).

  14. sas on August 25th, 2009 11:57 pm

    sweet jesus woman, even with the spitting thing, this makes me broody

  15. Kathy on August 26th, 2009 12:04 am

    Mr. Loudmouth Dictator-Pants! Funniest thing I’ve read all week!

  16. Donna on August 26th, 2009 12:36 am

    OMG! I could throw rocks there for days and days. I have got to travel up that way, it is so pretty.
    You guys look great, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY RILEY!!!
    Photobomb is now bookmarked too.

  17. Sonia on August 26th, 2009 1:23 am

    PEEING MAHSELF over photobomb!!! *snort* Bwahahahahaaa!
    My boy would agree wholeheartedly that throwing rocks into the water is The Best Entertainment Ever. Second only to watching ‘Wallace And Gromit, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit’ on continuous loop. Hubby and I took him fishing yesterday afternoon and I think he made a new island in Puget Sound with all the rocks he hucked out there.
    Also, the photo of Mr. Loudmouth Dictator-Pants giving his cousin orders is freaking hilarious!

  18. Cookie on August 26th, 2009 4:23 am

    So far Nick doesn’t mind not having sound, because we use wireless headphones for Gabe. I hear his shows enough at home. I don’t need to be tortured by them in the car. Go Diego Go, is particularly bad.

    Glad you had a great weekend. You and JB both look great. So jealous :) Can’t believe Riley’s four already. I swear it was just 2005, like yesterday. Where did it go?

    Especially loved the picture of Riley and his cousin, and your comment had me laughing out loud at work. Love your writing.

  19. danielle on August 26th, 2009 5:11 am

    Sure, Baby MacDonald might make you crazy but at least it’s not Elmo! Elmo loves to make your kids addicted to his high pitched voice! Hee hee! Na-na-na-nah, na-na-na-nah, Elmo’s World……

  20. Jen on August 26th, 2009 6:06 am

    Hahaha, that last picture is perfect! Thanks for the laugh!

  21. Redbecca on August 26th, 2009 6:19 am

    “Mr. Loudmouth Dictator-Pants”
    If there had been liquid nearby I would have done a spit-take. This is my kid only with lots of grunting, squeaking, and finger pulling.
    Our song is one of three: Put down the duckie, 6 cookies, or Itsy Bitsy Spider. I’ve had the first stuck in my head for DAYZE.

  22. Bumbling on August 26th, 2009 6:59 am

    Wafflebomb is cute as opposed to my oldest who has learned to stick his fingers in his mouth and pull his lips as far as they can possibly go to show us his “Monster smile”. Many many photos of our family now contain my plastic-faced monster child. Wanna trade?

  23. Eric's Mommy on August 26th, 2009 7:15 am

    Wafflebomb is awesome!

    Happy early b-day Riley!

  24. Jenni on August 26th, 2009 7:22 am

    If I have to hear “MOOS mommy…I want to watch the MOOS” one more time…

  25. warcrygirl on August 26th, 2009 8:52 am

    Waffle? Dude, where’s the squirrel?

  26. dorrie on August 26th, 2009 9:41 am

    photobomb is great for a laugh, indeed. Hey, not to jack your style or anything, but that shirt you are wearing in the last pic is DIVINE and I most sincerely WANT. Where did you get it?

  27. Smileen on August 26th, 2009 9:52 am

    That is hilarious. Beautiful fam pic, despite the adorable little waffel chomper. Oh, and because I don’t tweet, ‘cus I lack all self control when it comes to that stuff and my head will spin and I will drool at the mouth getting NOTHING done, includ’n being a mom and all, but you should tell Lucky_Kristin the film they are shooting in BC, Vancouver is ‘Eclipse’ from the Twi series. I know this because I am a 29 year old DORK that follows that kinda thing :)

  28. Deanna on August 26th, 2009 10:07 am

    I snorked and am adding the phrase “Mr. Loudmouth Dictator-Pants” to my vernacular.

    Wafflebomb – crop him out and you have an excellent photo of just the two of you!

  29. Shannon on August 26th, 2009 12:44 pm

    Nobody’s mentioned the down-the-shirt peekaboo photo, so I get to first? CLEAVAGE SHOT, WOOHOO! ;)

  30. Nicole on August 26th, 2009 1:01 pm

    15 month old likes “The Wheels on the Bus” DVDs with that very same relentless interest – And I just realized that Roger Daltrey is the voice of the Dragon – Yeah, that guy from The Who! Which might explain “The Moon Mouse” bit. Explain it, not excuse it… Anyway, what an amazing setting! It just doesn’t get anymore gorgeous than The Pacific NW – Currently in LA it is an arid 98 degrees and the sky is filled with smoke from one of our seasonal wildfires. Yay…

  31. Kristin on August 26th, 2009 3:03 pm

    I like your shirt in the last picture! Where did you get it? Cute, cute.

  32. Sundry on August 26th, 2009 3:46 pm

    Shirt: thrifted! Man, I love Goodwill.

  33. Pam on August 26th, 2009 5:24 pm

    That photo of Dylan. SO ADORABLE. Also, I’m curious to know your thoughts about Riley’s Bday being 8/31 and the school cut off. My son’s Bday is 8/30 (he turns three this year) and I’m so thinking about keeping him back a year. I’d rather him have the advantage of being the older kid, rather than the younger kid in his class. I love when I find moms with the same situation. Funny, I NEVER thought about this stuff when I got preggers and now it’s an ISSUE. Of course :)

  34. Muriah on August 26th, 2009 5:53 pm

    LOL

  35. Kelsey on August 26th, 2009 6:27 pm

    Does it get old when people keep commenting about what a beautiful family you are? :-)

  36. telegirl on August 26th, 2009 7:31 pm

    Man, we have a 2 1/2 year-old and while I love(d) Wall-E… I just cannot DO IT ANYMORE. So, hubby bought him Cars this weekend? Now, it’s “Cars, Mama, CARS!” We thought a change would be good but 4 days later I’m bored to tears with Cars.

    You look fabulous, your hubby looks awesome and your kids?! Scrumptious! Even if one of them is a bossy dictator.

  37. Philos on August 26th, 2009 8:08 pm

    “But what happened to the three inside me? It didn’t get blowed out when I turned four because the candle didn’t light.”

    …what exactly have you been teaching your children?

  38. Philos on August 26th, 2009 8:08 pm

    (There should probably be a smiley at the end of the previous comment.)

  39. marymac on August 27th, 2009 4:56 am

    Dude, love your blog. Not to change the subject, but did you just take on @dooce on twitter, because if you did, you are my new hero. Around these parts, (that would be the we-don’t-make-$30grand-a-month-in-advertisingville) she is referred to as “doocebag”. But if you are totally friends with her, then I myself am the douchebaguette in this instance. Carry on.

  40. Frema on August 27th, 2009 8:51 am

    Is it dorky that I got excited over the Inc. magazine bit because my company made the list? Probably.

    Great photos. I can’t believe you have a four-year-old son! My oldest is 20 months; four years is equal to retirement age right about now.

  41. Lori on August 27th, 2009 8:57 am

    OT I know, but I love you Man, for speaking frankly to Dooce about her irresistible rants. It’s irking me and making me want to go buy a Maytag.

  42. Lori on August 27th, 2009 8:58 am

    uh, irresponsible rants….too many distractions! This is why it is good that YOU Twittered her. I might complement her by accident. Duh.

  43. Kate on August 27th, 2009 9:48 am

    Hey Linda, I was just reading your responses to Dooce’s twitters about Maytag and wanted to say that I agree with you. I closed my Twitter account a little while ago or else I might have chimed in myself. That is all. Oh, and I love your blog!

  44. beach on August 27th, 2009 10:00 am

    gotta comment on the twitter dooce/sundry thing…..YOU KICK ASS!!

  45. Kate on August 27th, 2009 10:06 am

    All I can say is, I can guarandamntee you that if I had posted a day’s worth of tweets complaining about a major company to my 15 followers, and every single one of them had harassed Maytag and Whirlpool, I would not have gotten any kind of result, let alone such prompt service.

    She has over a million followers. That’s a small television audience. Of course Maytag jumped to help her; that’s a PR nightmare. She *had* to know what she was doing.

    I’ve liked Dooce for many years, but I am seeing the entitlement so many have mentioned before. I still like her, but I have major problems with how she’s handled this whole thing.

    Also, I want you to know that the “you’re just jealous” argument is freakin’ ridiculous and no one with half a brain believes that’s the case.

    You are awesome, Linda!

  46. Nicole on August 27th, 2009 10:40 am

    Holy Ashton Kutcher! Seriously? How is that possible? Not a fair comparison by any means but I have like 10 followers and 9 of them are (apparently) porn actors and prostitutes. I also have a newish Maytag washer and dryer and they are two of my most prized possessions. But if my washer did break down, I doubt @pablospenis would help me…

  47. squandra on August 27th, 2009 12:19 pm

    I don’t tweet … Just wanted to say WORD on the entitlement, as a faithful reader of you both.

  48. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah on August 27th, 2009 6:56 pm

    I HATE the wafflebombs!

  49. MAЙЯ on May 2nd, 2010 3:56 pm

    по-настоящему удивили и даже порадовали :) Никогда не поверил бы, что даже такое бывает :)

Leave a Reply