I was grouchy and short-tempered again last night, totally fed up with the kids and their favorite new activity that consists of running around shrieking until someone sustains a head injury, and while at least I wasn’t outwardly behaving like a goddamned harpy I could actually feel my brain shearing away from the confines of my skull, apparently attempting to escape out a nostril or ear-hole before lurching, grey and gelatinous, towards the microwave in order to self-immolate.

What is my problem, I kept wondering. I mean, sure, home life is chaotic lately, and it sucks that we can’t go outside to blow off energy, but have I just up and lost every single coping skill I was once in possession of? I’ve been exercising, I’ve been eating well, so why do I all of a sudden feel like I’m clinging to the last shreds of my personal sanity? What’s with this unfamiliar black cloud hanging over my head and the pervasive feeling of doom? Why am I so convinced everything would be a thousand times better if only I mixed salt, butter, sugar, and flour in a bowl and ate it until my pants ruptured? What . . . what’s my . . . oh.

Oh, RIGHT.

You know, I never used to have problems like this during my . . . Special Lady Time. There was the requisite puffiness, snackiness, and maybe the occasional surprise weepies attack during a sappy commercial (damn you, Gerber, and your emotionally manipulative “Anything For Baby” campaign), but I don’t remember feeling like there was a weeklong hormonal Whack-a-Mole game where my mental stability used to be.

I’m vaguely wondering if Teh Crazy might be a side effect of the Mirena, although I’ve had it for two years with no ill effects. Well, except for the first few months, and all I’ll say about that is IF you get a Mirena right after birth—or in my case, as part of the surgical hoedown that is a C-section—your uterus will shrink afterwards, which will lead you to the shocking discovery that your Mirena has STRINGS, and I’m not talking about soft strings, I’m talking about something more like fishing wire, and these strings will need to be repeatedly trimmed while they are in your personal body, unless of course you LIKE having fishing wire in your Girl Parts.

Or maybe I’m just getting older and my brain is more susceptible to fluctuating chemical imbalances. Or maybe parenthood is enough to drive anyone out of their freaking skull now and then. Or maybe this is why you can buy those tubs of pre-made cookie dough, so you can apply medicinally as needed.

Comments

104 Responses to “In the membrane”

  1. Jennie C on February 2nd, 2010 12:00 pm

    I never had it either. I joke that the older I get, the more chemically imbalanced I am. Being that we are older now, we know our bodies pretty well. I changed a couple medications in 2009 and promptly went right back to what I had started with. I could identify that the crazy was growing and morphing into something I wasn’t going to be able to live with.

    I have a son. I recognize behavior that men still have as grownups so it’s my job to break those habits. Most of my friends have girls and when I watch these little girls, my jaw drops. They are born with the crazy emotional hormones! That has got to suck intensely for all parties involved. Eeeeh… life.

  2. Jeff S on February 12th, 2010 11:53 am

    I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to post stuff like this without some sort of warning message…something like “Warning To Men: This Post Contains More Information Than Is Good For You, Move Along To The Next”.

    …yes, I understand that that’s a childish and immature reaction but no matter how much denial society is in, guys cringe at this shit.

  3. Adelas (Della) on February 17th, 2010 3:32 pm

    I’m late reading this and commenting, but I have Mirena and I SWEAR it has made me more emotional.
    The doc is all like “whatever, man, it keeps your hormones like THIS” (and makes a long horizontal line with his hand at about ribcage level).

    To which I reply, yes, I’m sure that it is a straight line, very even amount of hormones, but you need to draw that straight line at about EYEBROW level. Or maybe a few inches above your head.

  4. Adelas (Della) on February 18th, 2010 10:27 am

    I posted my comment before reading all the other ones; I do think the comment about calcium supplements is interesting.

    I found myself CRAVING CRAVING CRAVING nuts and anything with cream in it, while some of my other standby cravings faded. It was so marked that I googled it to see what my body might be telling me.

    I discovered that nuts are high in magnesium, which help your body absorb – three guesses – calcium. And cream… calcium… duh.

    On top of this, I’d just started drinking more caffeine (three words: two under two), which also inhibits calcium absorption.

    So I guess I’ll be looking into that as well as reading up some more on Mirena.

Leave a Reply