Factors that determine whether something needs to be washed:

• It’s been worn and is legitimately dirty
• It’s been worn indoors for a brief period of time and is perfectly clean
• It was tried on and discarded for something else
• It was accidentally pulled out of the drawer
• It exists

Dirty laundry presentation options:

• Socks: scrunched into a ball
• Pants: One leg pulled partially inside out, rolled up, and wadded into a lump
• Underwear: hidden behind other things, skid mark side out for surprise grossout factor
• Shirts: inside out, halfway unbuttoned

Strategies for marking something as dirty:

• Draped over the edge of the open hamper
• Piled on top of the closed hamper
• Dumped behind the hamper
• Scattered randomly on the floor
• Shoved back in with the clean clothes (ONLY if thoroughly stained and repulsive)

Things that actually get placed carefully inside the hamper:

• Coats
• Toys
• Candy wrappers
• Game pieces, Pokémon cards, mysterious metal doodads, rocks, a pillow, old Halloween costumes, a paper towel someone used to kill a spider, plastic bags

Temperature of the metal buttons and rivets on their jeans when they come out of the dryer:

• One million billion trillion hojillion finger-searing degrees, ALWAYS, what the hell

Comments

22 Responses to “Idle Thursday thoughts on children’s laundry”

  1. Kristi on January 14th, 2016 10:12 am

    Hamper items in my home also include stuffed animals, legos, coins and the occasional hot wheels. The last is VERY important to find before the dryer cycle. KLUNK-CHUNK, KLUNK-CHUNK, KLUNK-CHUNK…….OH SHIT… HOT HOT HOT

  2. Liz on January 14th, 2016 11:04 am

    My daughter is guilty of all of these. For my husband, add on:

    * Layered shirts, removed simultaneously and not separated before being placed in the hamper

  3. Kate on January 14th, 2016 11:25 am

    Crayons and chapstick are my favorite …. they make a huge mess!

  4. Carmen on January 14th, 2016 11:26 am

    Yup, all of the above. Bonus points if the inside-out socks are somehow holding a handful of sand that will fly all over the floor when the socks are turned right-side out.

  5. Sharon on January 14th, 2016 12:49 pm

    I especially love sticking my whole arm into inside out sweaty soccer socks to pull them right side out.

  6. Kelly on January 14th, 2016 12:55 pm

    Our underwear and pants presentation is one tangle with pant legs inside out, pulled through underwear leg holes. Kid peels herself like a banana.

  7. Liz on January 14th, 2016 1:03 pm

    My personal favorite is pants/underwear combo, where the stained underwear is attached to the half-way inside out pair of pants.

  8. Shannon Wise on January 14th, 2016 5:03 pm

    My fav were the “nests” of stinky sock balls…I finally started washing, drying and giving them back the exact same way! Solved the problem!!

  9. Maggie on January 14th, 2016 5:12 pm

    The balled up socks were my laundry Waterloo. I started returning them to Oldest and refusing to wash them unless they were unballed. This past Summer I finally realized Oldest had way more time on his hands than I did, so I started making him do his own laundry. Now I don’t know or care what the state of the socks in his laundry basket are. FREEDOM.

  10. Andrea on January 14th, 2016 9:05 pm

    In our house, dog prefers sitting on pile of dirty laundry in laundry room. Cats prefer sitting on top of clean folded laundry in laundry basket at foot of bed. My 3 all do their own laundry, but the timing of the actual washing and the putting away is still a game we play.

  11. Shes` on January 15th, 2016 5:50 am

    Yeah, to the balled up socks and inside out pants, and, and……Well, 8 year old daughter has some $$ that is her ‘own’, that she got from birthday cards, Christmas, etc from relative (not me!). I gave her a few warnings, and then implemented the .50 cent a sock, $1 per pants rule. If I have to undo them in order to fold, you’re paying up! Surprising how fast that all ended (plus she is now putting away her own stuff and learning to fold….) Gotta hit ’em where it hurts!

  12. Mary Clare on January 15th, 2016 9:12 am

    Other random thoughts on laundry – 1) bits of tissues (hidden in pants pockets) that get stuck on everything in the wash cycle = awesomeness, 2) children and pets who love to jump on folded piles of clothes = sometimes cute, but oh-so-annoying 3) oh my god the volume of laundry for a smallish family = soul-killing.

  13. Tracey on January 15th, 2016 1:22 pm

    Had just had to say thanks to you and the other commentators for the multiple snort-laughs. Needed those today. Very relatable.

  14. Alison on January 15th, 2016 7:16 pm

    Hilarious and true.

    Somewhat related: why is it when my children dress themselves (or when my husband dresses my youngest) they have to rifle through the drawers like burglars? Folded order to tangled, wrinkled mess just like that, every time.

  15. Kate on January 15th, 2016 7:37 pm

    In my house the occasional pull-up finds its way into the hamper. That’s the best.

  16. Dennis Rodman Jersey on January 17th, 2016 9:55 pm

    Motorcycle competitions is an outline of motorcycle sporting events and races, together with particular prizes and free Motorcycle prizes. Online shopping is nice,Derrick Rose Jersey UK, as it can be convenient. You might think that if you are paying less for a boot like this that you are going to be getting a lack of quality,Dion Waiters Jersey, well you won’t! These boots will literally last forever and if you think you will need a boots for some snowy or icy conditions,Nick Young Jersey

  17. Shawna on January 18th, 2016 12:13 pm

    Our house I sort, wash, and dry laundry. My husband can’t get it right, so I’m not sure if I can expect my kids to – and since I pay for the kids’ clothes, I have the most vested interest in them not getting destroyed by improper laundering, or in restoring them by proper laundering when they’re stained.

    If an item is balled up/inside out, that’s how it’s washed, but it has to be put right during the folding stage.

    My kids (7 & 9) fold all the household laundry. Everyone puts their own away.

  18. Nicole Springer on January 19th, 2016 10:20 am

    Oh this is so spot on. And it drives me insane!

  19. Jessica V. on January 21st, 2016 6:24 am

    I regularly find perfectly clean and folded clothes in my son’s laundry basket – generally because I’ve placed it on his bed so he can “put it away.” Somehow that message gets lost in his brain scramble and comes out as “make your mother crazy and put this back in the dirty hamper.” BOYS!

  20. Jen on January 25th, 2016 10:14 pm

    Hehe, I loved the “Things that actually get placed carefully inside the hamper”, because I could relate so much! My son is only 1.5 but LOVES putting his toys, a slipper, my jewelry, hairbands and whatever else he can find in the hamper.

  21. Frazzled? Stressed? One Must-Read on January 29th, 2016 5:10 am

    […] Children and laundry. SO TRUE. —All & Sundry […]

  22. suitable dance wear on August 21st, 2016 11:21 pm

    suitable dance wear

    Idle Thursday thoughts on children’s laundry : All & Sundry

Leave a Reply