August 9, 2006

Let me ask you something: why do I see so many search strings for “sundry mourning”, “sundrymourning.com”, “all & sundry sundrymourning”, etc? Is it because someone can’t remember my URL so they’re looking for me via google, or are they hoping to unearth some shameful secret about me from another site, like “I heard the chick from sundrymourning.com has a tail”?

Well, fine. Fine, you want to see my tail? Fuck it, I’m not keeping this to myself any longer, you were going to find it on the internet somewhere, so FINE, here you go:

human_tail.jpg

Yes, that oddly masculine buttock is mine. And that’s my….uh, tail, emerging like a fleshy Armour hot dog from the vicinity of my left butt cheek, and I’m not ashamed, dammit, and–

Actually, if that were really my tail you’re fuckin-A I’d be ashamed. God, look at that thing. It’s totally freaking me out. You think it has muscles and stuff, like can it be wagged, or used in some prehensile manner, perhaps to hold an umbrella, or?

Also, speaking of internet weirdness, I hate to take up valuable space I could be using to post poached web photos of human deformities which may or may not be real, BUT…for the reader leaving me comments signed with my first and last name, or my work email address? Quit with the passive-agressive lame-ass “Hey Linda I know who u are OMG!” crap and either grow some fuzz on your peaches and say hello, or piss off back to your World of Warcraft night-elf-strokefest. What am I supposed to be over here, impressed?

Anyway, moving on to awesomer subjects (shut up, if “liveblogging” is an acceptable term, then I declare “awesomer” King’s Fucking English), I’m pretty sure I’ve isolated Riley’s first word: backpack.

Okay, it’s more like “ba pa”; I suppose I could be mistaking those sounds for “backpack” when in fact he’s trying to say “Gônoprojatontri Bangladesh” – but come on, the boy consistently crawls directly into the sliding glass door, I doubt he’s got a grip on his South Asia countries just yet.

He’s been making those “backpack” sounds for a while, usually when we get out the backpack carrier and repeatedly ask him “Do you want to ride in the backpack? Do you? You DO?” (which has resulted in the dog losing her tiny Chiclet brain altogether every time one of us puts the carrier on now, because who thinks they’re going for a walk? SHE DOES! SHE DOES!), but yesterday on the way home from daycare I randomly asked Riley if he would like to go in the backpack when we got home, and he clearly said “Ba pa?” in response.

My money’s on “da da” as the next recognizable word because god knows his dad hoists the sun every morning and blows the moon out every night as far as Riley’s concerned. Maybe I’ll hear “ma ma” someday in the future after he moves on to “da ee” (doggie) or “bahl” (bottle) or “aheedehstahbiahem” (antidisestablishmentarianism), if I’m lucky.

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angela
angela
17 years ago

my old boss used to have MSN.com as her homepage and even if she had the complete URL for a website, she would type it into the search engine and search for it. weird.

angela
angela
17 years ago

also, what a freakshow, that person who is posting as you. get a restraining order. internet people freak me out.

Caitlin
Caitlin
17 years ago

Dude–my homepage is google so I just put it in (heh): sundrymourning. I have vague paranoia regarding my close-breathing techie co-worker suddenly happening upon my address history bar and seeing sundrymourning.com, gofugyourself.com, and the like instead of, oh, you know, WORK RELATED websites. But the stalker thing is plain weird.

Lisa B
Lisa B
17 years ago

OK, now you have completely freaked me out with those pictures. I need to go wash my eyeballs. Eeeeyuh. But thanks for a new post – it’s like Christmas! :)

ginger
ginger
17 years ago

Thanks for posting about your creepy commenter – it makes me feel much better about the fact I end up commenting on something from 2 weeks before. Notify sucks, and so does at least one of my e-mail clients.

Also, yuck to the tails thing. I am sure I’ve seen those (bad-use-of-photoshoppy-looking) pictures before.

laura
laura
17 years ago

you let riley watch dora don’t you. if you’ve seen it, you’ll know why I thought that. backpack, backpack… delicioso!

warcrygirl
17 years ago

And once again you did not disappoint your readers. I think those tails are real; I vaguely remember reading about them somewhere. Not sure if those exact pics are real but the condition is. Thank god my blog is so inconsequential that no one stalks me online. At least not that I know about…

lara
lara
17 years ago

one of those was me…I was out of town and away from my own computer w/ the handy list of favorites and couldn’t remember if it was morning or mourning. Just so you know, if I had stumbled on some shameful secret I would seriously consider outing you to the internet as payback for getting me hooked on perezhilton.com. I’d never even heard of him until I saw a link from your site. I’m a gossip junkie now, constantly refreshing my browser to see if there is anything new and snarky up since the last time I checked like 2 minutes ago. Thanks man.

Cris
Cris
17 years ago

That does NOT look like a tail.

Caitlin
Caitlin
17 years ago

Wait, ok, now I’m commenting twice, but only because I left the window open for a while, I swear! ANYWAY–I had to echo Lara, I had also never heard of before, and now am completely hooked on perezhilton! At least it’s not US Weekly?

Brooke
17 years ago

My daughter’s first word was “baby” and her second was “duck”. I didn’t even register “mama” or “dada”, so I feel ya, Sundry.

Nancy
17 years ago

Yes sometimes I feel the need to delete my history to try to ween myself from the blog obsession and then months later I will think hmm what was that blog called and google to try to get my fix. But really it has been a while since I deleted so maybe it wasn’t me.

Ezza
17 years ago

Ahem… Before I read the text and just looked at the pics, those looked way more like some naughty bits. Good thing my boss wasn’t looking over my shoulder!

Miz Robyn
17 years ago

I get a lot – A LOT – of google searches for bitchypoo.com, and when I asked why on earth someone would do that, I was told by several people that they were reading from work and couldn’t get to my site by typing it in directly, but if they googled it, they were able to get to it. Very odd.

Those tails… ::shudder::

Meg
Meg
17 years ago

Dude, you totally cracked me up with that tail stuff. I was expecting Dog’s tail, not THAT! Jesus, can you imagine?

As far as words go, the kid I used to care for made me laugh the first day I picked up my backpack, and he waved and said, “Bye bye!” He had picked up that putting on the backpack was the last thing I did before leaving everyday. But that day, I was taking him somewhere. He did that consistently but only one time in the entire time he knew me did he ever attempt my name, which came out, “Meh.” Who knows, maybe he was just bored. He just saw me and said, “meh.”

angela
angela
17 years ago

my first word was “mine.” I RULE!

Jenna
17 years ago

You made me laugh out loud…at work, damn it!

I agree with Laura…was wondering if Riley watches Dora the Explorer? My oldest daughter watches it and one of her first words was “backpack” followed by “Dora” and then followed by “map”. Mama came a little after that. Don’t let your husband get his hopes up with the “da da” thing. The same daughter I mentioned before, who’s a total daddy’s girl and just over a year and a half, has YET to say it. She calls us both ma ma. I guess we are one in the same…

Tammy
17 years ago

Now I have to know, are there really people with tails? I must go google it.

rosebud78
17 years ago

Definitely going to have nightmares about those tails and am curious as to how you find search strings. Any tips for those more technically challenged?

Crystal
17 years ago

So cute!! Except… I may never forgive you for the tail thing. Holy crap. Yeergh.

Emily
17 years ago

Man, of COURSE human tails are real! Especially if you believed everything you saw in Shallow Hal. If Jack Black endorses it, it is so.

Liz
Liz
17 years ago

Yeah, all the computers at work are shared (hospital) and if I’m sneaking a glance at my favorite blogs instead of, you know, saving lives, I’ll usually google it so as not to let the handy I-remember-what-you-typed feature blow my cover.

Tail: Oick!

Ba pa: No, no, Sundry, what Riley is surely trying to say is “British pound!” Clearly not a fan of the Euro.

My younger brother and I were nannied by a true Daughter of Texas who lived in a trailer park with her husband who always wore a gigantic Stetson. Bro’s first word was “Hat!” I think my mother was just glad it wasn’t “belt buckle,” which would also have been a reasonable option with that couple.

pippa
17 years ago

Okay, hi, I’m retarded. That’s probably me sometimes because with all the brain cells I lost over the course of four pregnancies I sometimes confuse the Google Bar box with the URL box. Because yes, the one inch box and the 65-inch box look the same to me. Der.

Butter’s first word was “hiya.” I’m not sure if it’s because she’s very social or because at the point at which you are number four, you are begging for any smidge of attention any poor soul will spare.

Kristin
17 years ago

for the love of all things holy, that was one of your funniest entries ever. I’m quite sure I’ll be having nightmares about the creepiness of that hind-quarter growth object though.

(I get “tallnlucky” googles all the time too. I don’t know why. I’m also scared to know what the hell a tallnlucky is. I assume it has something to do with shemales and hairy eyeballs.)

Kristen
17 years ago

When I open up a fresh browser, I get Google automatically. SOMETIMES, if it is early, or if it is late, or if I am just not paying attention, I think I am typing the URL into the URL box at the top, but actually I am typing in the Google box. That could be what some people are doing. Not ME, though: I use Bloglines because I have to know WITHIN SECONDS when there’s a new All & Sundry entry, so I just click a link and don’t ever have to type a URL.

Jen
Jen
17 years ago

Linda, and Kristin too –
That’s me, super-lazy blog googler at work. I think I google “sundry” and “tall n lucky” about every day. Why don’t I add a bookmark? Why? I don’t know.

Angela
Angela
17 years ago

OK, I am oficially delurking to say sorry that I too google “Sundry Mourning” almost daily. As a teacher I am not supposed to be… oh you know… wasting tax payers money by spending my day catching up on my favorite bloggers lives (and perez hilton) blah blah blah etc. and since they can track my URL history it is just easier that way. Gotta say since I started reading a few months ago I am hooked. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and I can only hope mine is as cute as Riley!!

Lisa V
17 years ago

We used to tease my daughter she had a tail, and then we had it docked. I’m showing her these pictures. Thank you for the tails.

Katie
17 years ago

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!!! I keep thinking those pictures are of someone “doing their business!” ACK!!!

Jem
Jem
17 years ago

You should try reading idontlikeyouinthatway.com or wwtdd.com…the best sites! My friend Todd writes for the first one, and I promise you he’s hilarious.

I never know whether anyones looking for me or looking for Jenna Jameson. I’m guessing they’re looking for Jenna. I think everyone finds my site while looking for porn, considering most of the searches I get are things like “wind blows skirt up” or “i want to suck my hairdressers cock”

Amy
Amy
17 years ago

That looks like something BOTH of you could enjoy! ;) If it wasn’t a hot dog ;)

Lesley
Lesley
17 years ago

If those tails were lower down, those would be potty shots. Ew…almost lost my snack looking at those.

jac
jac
17 years ago

Yup … Google prevents the old “work sees what I do” URL trick. Ah, Google.

I probably wouldn’t be able to access your site from work anyway – you would probably show up in the blacklist as “Other/Porn”, like 85% of the internet does. “You have attempted to access Other/Porn. You have been redirected. This has been recorded”. Whatever.

jonniker
17 years ago

Dear God, the tails. And the freakish commenter? Stuff like that upsets me so, that you would likely find me curled in the fetal position in our laundry room. I applaud you for staying upright.
(I know, I so need a thicker skin.)

Ian C
Ian C
17 years ago

A quick tip for all you Googlers. Search for “sundry” & guess who comes out first of 11,800,000 entries! Someone around here is pretty damn popular :-)

Jessie
17 years ago

I’ve googled to get here once. From my parents house. When I could have just looked at my site and followed the link here. Probably because I’m an idiot sometimes.

Also, the tails? Definitely not what I was googling for, but they’re like a train wreck. It’s horrible, but I just can’t look away. So weird!

chillier
chillier
17 years ago

There is something totally hilarious about asking your kid if he wants to go in a backpack. I know it’s one of those kid carrier things but I keep picturing a giant LL Bean backpack with your initials sewn onto it. With Riley all zipped inside….hee! Is that only funny to me?

Ang
Ang
17 years ago

The tails are effin’ freaky. EW!

Mel
Mel
17 years ago

Maybe it’s a good thing I can’t se the tails? I dunno, judging by the mixed bag of coments. Would I laugh or be grossed out? anyway, Ian is any form of “daddy” when I’m around. Kevin took him to the mall last weekend to shop for my birthday present and he said all Ian said was, “Ma, mamma, mom!” I guess he’s just happiest when we’re both around.

Stephanie (alwaysworried)

my excuse for googling you is i was (keyword was) too stupid to favorites your page. notify list rarely works for my email so i pretty much just head this way every day to see if notify didnt work agian. :)

Rebecca
Rebecca
17 years ago

“World of Warcraft night-elf strokefest” – heeeeeeee. My boyfriend would be so offended ;o)

And yes, I google all and sundry (and tallnlucky!) from my home computer occasionally because too damn lazy to add the bookmarks there.

Jane
Jane
17 years ago

I Google on my fancy cell phone to get to sites because it’s easier than typing the whole url in on the key pad.

Rae
Rae
17 years ago

I’ve come up with a cheaters way around the having to google – have a google home page and put the RSS feed up for Sundry. Then, automatically coming to the latest-greatest. Plus, because it’s a google homepage I have a bunch of other non-work happy making links off there…no typing required.

Course….they’re probably still monitoring. At least we haven’t gotten to typing watching yet.

justmouse
17 years ago

ok, the tail thing? is not as weird as you might think. (um…ok, it IS as weird as you think, but it’s not totally uncommon). it’s considered a vestigal organ: http://www.gennet.org/facts/metro07.html

we probably don’t hear about these things much on this continent because anything that is different is WRONG and is automatically CORRECTED by doctors as soon as the baby is born. it’s just our way. anyway.. in India, apparently, babies born with tails are believed to be the reincarnation of this guy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanuman

so, there you go. (sorry, i’m a dork, i don’t know how to make those into handy little linky things).

btw, my son’s first word was “ITE!” (light) he was fascinated by electricity and thought it was brilliant that by touching a button you could make the light go on.

justmouse
17 years ago

ok…so i’m a retard….they turn into linky things all on their own. dur. obviously i’m one of the ones googling sundry mourning as well.

Jo
Jo
17 years ago

good GOD will you remove those hideous pictures, please please please?

oregoncoastgirl
oregoncoastgirl
17 years ago

Those pictures? That’s f*cked up, right there.

Brooke
17 years ago

And also, why would one not remove that pretty nasty appendage? How to explain that to your new boyrfriend?