Bwa! You go ahead and buy him a damn stuffed stingray, and I am fully expecting a REAL picture of his halloween costume (which you should also post on your Club Mom blog, just to bother the evil humorless people)!!!! Of France! I heart you.

And the new notify popped right up in my inbox without any prompting, so I think yahoo, at least, knows what’s what.
Although… I WOULD like a larger penis. Hmmm. Maybe I should get a penis first, though.

Sorry, must gloat… YAY! I don’t think I’ve ever been first! Go new notify list thingie!

And I forgot to mention… I hate bicyclists on trails. They’re so self-entitled, just because they’re going faster than the walkers, runners, and roller-bladers. Most of the ones, at least here, don’t even bother with the “on your left” or hitting their little bell, so all of the sudden there’s whirring gears half-an-inch from your left ear with no warning, and it’s terrifying.

And Riley is very cute, despite his perhaps quasi-evilness.
Heh. Made me think of Dr. Evil.
And now I’ll shut up.

I JUST realised that was a stingray! I thought it was a polka dotted dress. I am awful!

I hate the way some cyclists ride too and I’m forever complaining about how they swap between pedestrian and car.

Rrrrrrr, Seattle bikers. I was once on a bus (the local 28 headed north from downtown on Dexter) when the bus driver opined to no one in particular, “These damn bikers. They put on their fancy spandex clothes and they think that makes them Lance Armstrong.”

My husband and I like to bellow, “I’M HARDCOOOOOOOORE!” whenever we see one of those bikers, assuming that’s what they’re thinking, despite the pink & lime green outfit they’re wearing. I suggest you try it, it’s oddly satisfying.

The bikers in Bellevue aren’t much better. I spend my morning walk to work dodging cars refusing to acknowledge I’m in the middle of the crosswalk and speedy bikers who shouldn’t be on the sidewalk in the first place! Not that it irritates me at all. Nope. Not one bit.

In that second photo he really looks like a little boy, rather than his oh-so-cute baby self. Growing up, so sad :-)

When I lived in Vancouver, I had to contend with the cyclists too. We always wondered why their bikes looked like shit. It’s as if they stole it from some homeless guy, nonetheless the speed at which they go at is amazing. Probably pedaling away from the perspiring stench they produce.

Your bicyclist comments made my gut chuckle. Hilarious.

I work with an entire office full of them from your neck of the woods and although I have not personally experienced their trafficking abilities (thankfully), I do oftentimes have to carry on entire professional conversations with them while their body parts are stuffed in these lime-green sausage-like casings.

Transportation really should not be so painful.

Girl In Greenwood? You just make me sputter hummus out my nose, because of “I’m HARDCOOOOOORE!”. May I steal it? SO funny.

Every time my son has an appointment at Children’s in Seattle, I get a little sweaty and worried about possibly T-boning a spandex clad bike enthusiast of which you speak. Or, an ipodded UW student. I drive one of the most environmentally unfriendly versions of an SUV available (her name is Bessie The Blue Bus) and not only does she barely fit through the streets of the U district…..she doesn’t exactly stop on a dime for an errant college kid not watching the crossing signal. I’m country y’all.

I’m in total agreement with you about bicyclists. They should be required to be licensed like any driver. With the license boldly displayed in neon on the back and front of their bikes.

If you think it’s bad in Seattle, you should try living in Vancouver, BC where the City in its infinite stupidity saw fit to permit skateboarders the “right” to use any road for their particular brand of “driving.” They are not required to wear helmets or gear that makes them visible in the dark – and it’s pretty much dark here 24 hours a day between late October and February because of the incessant rain. So not only do we have sociopathic cyclists who, as a rule, do not obey any rules, but sociopathic skateboarders weaving from lane to lane to contend with. On top of this, the 4-tired vehicle operators are largely terrible. They never, for example, stop at crosswalks. Most crosswalks have been converted to lights because of the number of hit and runs. I saw a woman hit a guy in a wheelchair with her SUV who was crossing on a green light, while she was turning left. She paused, opened her door, said she was in a hurry, apologized, and sped off. She had kids in her car and she hit a wheelchair and rationalized it.

I take my life in my hands every day living in this stupid stupid godforsakenly dumbass fucking town.

I almost choked from laughing at the picture of Riley with his stingray, after the email I had sent you yesterday or the day before ( I forget when). He is entirely too cute.

Well crikey….check out that stingray’s mighty tail! *GROAN* bad….bad….

Bike riders are hell at the campus near where I live. And I didn’t even drive a car – I was a walker. They would run into you/ride up the back of your leg (which, oh my god! hurt!) if you were in their way. My husband says that one day he plans on obeying all the traffic laws when we’re driving through campus, bikers be damned, because they’re just that bad. Also, though, he’s a fan of our rival, so that could have something to do with it I suppose. Especially when he passes a football player in the car and brings up his plan once again.

Your new notify works great, FYI — received notification at 12:08 am. Love the links, especially the HOA conversation … too perfect. (As the Treasurer of my HOA I so relate — we actually talk like that, no kidding.) Oh, the bikers… Clearly Seattle bikers are of the same ilk as U of Mich students and bikers — “Forcefield of Rightousness” is right on! (Mind if I borrow that?!) Riley is SO cute, banana blowing and all. Cheer up — sounds like he hasn’t yet discovered “kitty cookies”, which Bella (dog) believes are some kind of canine pecan roll. Gak.

Man does he look like his dad in that middle picture! He’s like JB but shrunken to a more portable size!

The bikers in Chicago are every bit as annoying, and some. I don’t know about Seattle, but here it’s illegal for them to ride on the sidewalks. Does that stop them? Of course not. So half of them are in the street, making up their own traffic laws, and half of them are on the sidewalk, illegally barrelling through unsuspecting pedestrians.

Okay, you know that stingrays are really quite docile; chewing off the barb in some misguided homage to Steve Irwin is really out of line. Crikey!

Bike people are the worst! They are apparently above the law in MN as well. Yes they are SUPPOSE to follow the same rules as cars, but of course don’t. I think they all have a death wish.

So homage isn’t the right word, get back to me after my coffee has kicked in and I’ll get it right.

i wouldn’t even know where to BUY a stuffed toy stingray, that kid has the coolest toys. And, if i recall from a post ages ago – he has an ENORMOUS stuffed octopus. Where do you get these things? I want them.

And cyclists? Try driving while the Edinburgh Festival is on – i had to contend with some CLOWN on a UNICYCLE ‘humorously’ directing traffic whilst juggling. This city goes totally mad during those three weeks.

OK, so I have been reading you a while and never commented but I often find myself nodding my head when I am reading about various Reily related antics because I have a 2.5 year old girl and remember those “baby” days before she could walk without slamming her head on whatever was in front, beneath or to the side of her. And the screaming! I am still waiting for the irrational screaming to stop. And I am pregnant again. God help me.

Anyway, I HAD to comment because even though I have lived in a suburb of New Jersey for a little over a year now, I was born and bred in Brooklyn, NY in the Kensington area which is right by Prospect Park and I have to tell you, it’s bad all over – there is no more obnoxious, self-entitled, selfish creature on EARTH than those effing bicyclists. I cannot begin to tell you how they think they can turn a PUBLIC park into their own private racing area, where, God Forbid, if you were just STUPID enough to want to take a slow ride, just for fun, on a nice day, you were screamed at “ON YOUR LEFT” (while you are in the normal bike/jog lane and they are in the “street” part of the park and there is no way you even hinted at trying to get in front of them) or, my personal favorite “HELMET!” both to which I yell back “FUCK YOU!” And forget about crossing the street to get out of the park, cause there are 10 million bikes speeding by and not one of them will slow down or stop for ANYONE, let alone an old person or a mom with a baby carriage.

I hate them all and wish they would just cycle right off the face of the planet.

So you think I am a little bitter? Great post, by the way, as usual and so sorry I ran off at the mouth.

Portable J.B. Ha! I like that one. I live in the south and people don’t bike to work here. Seriously, the only bikers on the sidewalks around here are the ones who rode the short bus to school and do not qualify for a driver’s license. Everyone gives those bikers a WIDE berth. So I can’t relate. BUT I do know that if you hit a pedestrian/biker you’re always at fault and will most likely get sued. So slack off on the Starbucks, take a deep breath, and relax that white knuckled grip on the steering wheel! :-)

I have had gum in the dryer more than once, sadly.

I have to step in and defend cyclists all over this fine land.

I know you were exaggerating for effect, as I am often wont to do the same, but this attitude of car drivers toward cyclists doesn’t do anybody any good. Trust me as someone who biked to work every day for two years through urban traffic; there are just as many cars doing just as many stupid things, and they don’t care a whit about what they’re doing either.

I know you worry about hitting them, and just to get bitter for a second, the sad state of affairs is that even if a situation happened in which the driver of a car should have reasonably seen a cyclist who was following the rules of the road strikes said cyclist and kills them, in almost every case I have heard in the past year or so, no charges are ever filed. I am personally of the opinion that people shouldn’t be piloting thousands of pounds of steel around if they cannot see where they are going or be aware of a cyclist who may be on their right, but hey. That’s just me.

Anyway. I am not trying to be rude or anything. I just didn’t like some of the tone in the comments. Yeah, fuck those cyclists. They’re making the environment better for everyone! How SELFISH.

-emily

LOL

“Forcefield of Righteousness” is what made me laugh. Love it!

Totally done the gum in the Kleenex move and my God, I loved reading this if only to reassure me that I’m not alone and that smart people really do the dumbest of things sometimes.

Gum in the dryer? Check. But I must say that doggie poop bags are worse in the dryer than gum. They melt to the back and almost start fires, and oh god, I’ve done that so many times and it’s just. so. scary.

I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU for your bicycle rant. As I’m sure you can imagine, we have the same problem down here in Portland. I was once at a busy intersection in the left turn lane (next to the MAX tracks no less) when a cyclist came up to pass me on the left to turn before me. She then went through when all traffic was stopped to let the 2-ton TRAIN GO BY. But she didn’t want it to go by, no no. She wanted to go. So she pedaled her ass through the intersection, barely missing the MAX and then flipped off the train conductor when he blew his horn at her. Idiots, all of them.

Alright. I guess I have to speak up for the cyclists because I am one. I am mostly a mountain biker (I hate dealing with cars as much as you hate dealing with me) but sometimes I have to ride on the road to get to the bike trails. First, I want to address this:

“assuming that’s what they’re thinking, despite the pink & lime green outfit they’re wearing.”

The reason cyclists wear bright colors is so they’re more visible. Plain and simple. As a cyclist, I try my damndest to follow all the traffic rules, but even while doing so I have been thisclose to being run over, turned into, run off the road, swerved at, I’ve had firecrackers thrown at me, I’ve had a bottle thrown at me, I’ve been hooted at and harassed and also had people blare their car horn while passing which scares the CRAP out of me. I’ve had drivers open a door in front of me ON PURPOSE and then laugh. It’s crazy. Most cyclists, especially those who ride on the road, have a similar list. We have a right to be there but you can’t blame us for riding defensively, especially as we know we’re not always visible. If we get hit by a car, we get hurt way worse than the driver.

I do totally and completely agree that there are a lot of bad cyclists out there who ruin it for the rest of us, but try to please just be a tiny bit patient and keep an eye out, slow down a little when passing. It’s not a lot to ask that everyone share the road.

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing I’m not the only person out there who recognizes that the cyclists in Seattle are hideous vile creatures.

do they have special bike lanes where you live, or are bikes supposed to share the sidewalk with the pedestrians?

Yeah, bicyclists…..in Portland they are just as bad (you know – Portland – the most bicycle friendly city in the nation). In additon to all the things you mention, why is it thyey ride right in the middle of the lane doing 3 fucking miles and hour and then look indignant at you when you try to pass them. An excellent rant indded!

“do they have special bike lanes where you live, or are bikes supposed to share the sidewalk with the pedestrians?”

Was this meant for me? I’m not sure, but I’ll answer anyway:

Neither. Bikes are not allowed on sidewalks and we mostly don’t have bike lanes, so the only place to ride is the street. The point I was trying to make earlier is that even when I do follow all the street/traffic rules, I’m still almost run over all the time. Even if I’m acting like a car, the other drivers don’t treat me as one and I’m never given the right of way (when it’s mine) so I think most cyclists get fed up and just take it when they can get it. I don’t know that this is a swell system but I also don’t think that cyclists should be banned and vilified. A lot of us are nice people who just happen to love riding bikes.

I love you, Sundry, but I’m a cyclist and while ranting is all well and good, I hope you and the rest of the posters here don’t really drive like they say they do. I’m sporting the world’s largest black and blue, which takes up my arm from elbow to wrist, thanks to a 3000-lb SUV that on Friday decided that a cyclist in the right lane wasn’t enough to stop him from making a right turn. A relatively minor encounter, as no hospital was involved. But it wasn’t the first time, nor the last, sadly. Yes, some cyclists don’t obey all road rules. But as several people before me have said it better – if you had to go up against a beast that outweighed you by several thousand pounds, wouldn’t you get a little feisty, too? If I see you in Bellevue, Kirkland, or Redmond, I’m staying out of your way (and the way of your readers – sheesh!).

Hmm, my attempt at a comment got mysteriously eaten, sorry if this comes up twice. I think the problem is that most vehicle drivers (car or bike) seem to be completely insane at least half the time. I’ll never bike in Portland because I’m sure I’d end up seriously injured or worse. It’s a miracle I haven’t ended up like that driving a car. People don’t seem to notice me driving my large car, there is no hope they’d notice me riding a bike. I swear, if I didn’t have to drop my kid at day-care, I’d take the bus and lower my blood pressure every day.

I’ll speak for myself here in that I think that if you are a responsible cyclist, chances are no one here is talking about you. I think Sundry, and, I dare to think, the vast majority of the commenters, are not suggesting that all cyclists be banned to the outer corners of this green earth and that they are hated, foul beings that we wish we could run over with our giant vehicles except for these things called “laws.” Allow some room for hyperbole.

It reminds me of all of those rants I used to impart about the goddamn Boston drivers – of course there were plenty of responsible, nice Boston drivers, including myself, but damn, wasn’t it so much more fun to talk about the ones who sucked?

Its a Spotted Eagle Ray.
Stingrays are round like this O
Eagle Rays have triangular shaped wings like this
Eagle Rays don’t have stingers and they love to dance and play all day long in the underwater medows where they live.

Darn, little triangles were supposed to show up

Bike Hatahs! Sundry-fueled controversy RAWKS! Um, but really…I was all ready to defend cyclists until I realized the contemplative communiting I do on my rusty cruiser is not really “cycling.” Not to mention the deep joy I get from muttering “One way, darlin” when I pass dippy bikers going the wrong way down imposisbly narrow French Quarter streets. Or the intense spite for tourists who don’t even know how to WALK down the street half the time. So really, I’m with you on hating people who cannot properly manage their own trajectories through space, no matter the means. (But bikes are still way cooler than cars and an excellent way to commute short urban distances, harrumph!).

Cool discussion on bicyclists. I am a full-fledged “four-way” commuter in Seattle – that is during the work week I may commute by 1. Bicycle, 2. Running, 3. Bus, 4. Car. From this multi point of view experience I can tell you that 90% of drivers, bicyclists and pedestrians disobey traffic laws. There really is no point in saying that any one group is worse than the other. It is rather the case that in today’s society, following laws is a mug’s game – if you can get away with it, go for it! Heck, look at the President! Favorite Fun Commuting Activity? Counting the number of vehicles running fully fledged red lights – I think my present record is five!

I think Sundry has it right in that the “problem” with bicyclists is that they provoke something in drivers because they are so vulnerable. That vulnerability means they have to have more attention paid to them and cannot be easily “written off” like that 3000 pound SUV in the left lane next to you. Sure, the 3000 pound SUV is infinitely more dangerous to you, but you are used to it and unless they are talking on a cellphone, much more predictable. So, all that unwanted attention, anxiety and distraction by drivers to the bicyclist on the road (who also may be running stop signs etc.) comes out as rage etc.

BTW: I have no sausage-stuffing clothes and I’m the only bicyclist in Seattle that stops at stop lights, stop signs, crosswalks (you should have seen the look yesterday when I stopped for someone) and actually gives way to pedestrians. I think there is a bike messenger group that has a contract out on me for giving bicyclists a good name….

Riley has the CUTEST stuffed animals EVER. Where did you get them? I’m not too proud to have stuffed animals on my sofa, even if I did just turn 41 — as long as they’re as cool as Riley’s stuffed animals.

oh, sundry, don’t lump all bicyclists together- i know, myself, that the car can hurt me much more than i can hurt the car, so i tend to be uber-cautious. believe me, it scares the shit out of you to almost collide, and it really terrifies me too. i admit, i do sometimes coast through signals, BUT ONLY after slowing down and making sure there are no cars coming- and this is just because it is harder for me to stop and start than it would be if i were in a car. i walk my bike around pedestrians, and i always stay to the right and try to move predictably- and i know i can’t be the only one. some bicyclists are unsafe jerks, yea- but some drivers are too.
and the pants, well, i need to roll it up, or my pant leg gets caught in the chain. i know it’s not appealing. but it really is necessary.
(sorry to rant, it’s an important topic to me.)

We have bicycle rage here in Boston too. I think it is that some are following the rules for cars, and some are follow the rules for pedestrians. And some/many cyslists seem to flip flop between the two sets of rules to their benefit. Bottom line, drivers really don’t know what to expect (especially since many drivers have never bike-commuted themselves, so it is hard to relate, whereas many bicyclists have driven/ridden in a car before – so they understand both sides, which, IMO means they should be even more courteous to drivers) but anywho………..

Riley is still, of course adorable. Has he started walking officially? If so, DAMN! how did I miss that?! and if not, we fully expect video coverage of the first steps.

Also – have you considered backing into to your parking spot so that you can pull out straight ahead into traffic? For all I know that could also prove to be as difficult as disposing of chewing gum, but I thought I’d toss it out there!

Ah the joys of finding gum where you least want it … I recently washed a pair of my work pants with a piece of wrapped, unchewed gum in the left pocket.

I didn’t discover the latter, of course, until I stuffed my keys in said pocket, then later retrieved them coated in strands of gum (not dissimilar to cheese on a pizza) that stretched and stretched and would not, without great effort amusedly observed by my husband, break. Ah well, at least my keys both now, you know, unlock things and are minty fresh ;)!!

Ah the joys of finding gum where you least want it … I recently washed a pair of my work pants with a piece of wrapped, unchewed gum in the left pocket.

I didn’t discover the latter, of course, until I stuffed my keys in said pocket, then later retrieved them coated in strands of gum (not dissimilar to cheese on a pizza) that stretched and stretched and would not, without great effort amusedly observed by my husband, break. Ah well, at least my keys both now, you know, unlock things and are minty fresh ;)!!

Ooops – accidentally posted my comment twice (whilst trying to fix the linky thing from my name) … please feel free to delete the first one and this one :).

Ugh, the bicyclists. Are you a car or a pedestrian? CHOOSE ALREADY.

So the cyclists that have replied thus far have only addressed the whole “bike vs. car” thing, which, ok maybe is a two way street. Ha. Transportation humor. Ahem. Anyway, I would like to go further into why cyclists who are riding through a public park on sidewalks that they must share with walkers/runners/strollers/children/elderly/etc. feel the need to be complete jackasses. They don’t bother to ring a bell or say on your left, and so more times than not, I pull my tiny mom out of the path of these cyclists who have sole possession of the park sidewalks and sport the attitude that anyone who doesn’t know that DESERVES to be run over. I always make a wide berth around cyclists on the road, as I don’t want to hit them. But in a park? I want to throw a stick in their spokes. I wouldn’t, obviously, but you understand.

“those flavored Listerine cellophane things that burn the crap out of your tongue” – are hilarious when fed to a dog. And yes, I do know I am going to hell.