September 9, 2007

GENDER TEST

When I say “We really need to work together to clean up the house tonight,” do you hear:

A) “We really need to work together to clean up the house tonight.”

or

B) “Please feel free to run off to Ace Hardware, then disappear into the shop for several hours in a row. Once you hear the vacuum stop, it’s probably safe to come back inside.”

:::

JB and I finished the last of Season 2.5 (yes, 2.5) of Battlestar Galactica last night, and after we finished exclaiming over the leave-you-dangling ending and holy wow, what was going to happen next, I pulled up Netflix to add the next season and OH MY GODS there was no jolly red “Add” button, there was only the evil green “Save” icon to click. And then the text that broke my heart: “Release date is unknown.” Season 3 isn’t . . . we can’t . . . it isn’t available yet?

Can’t speak. Too busy sobbing uncontrollably.

:::

Riley has learned to sing the ABC song, at least in his particular flavor of Toddlerese, and it is sort of disgustingly cute. After having sung it along with him several thousand times now, I suddenly came to a startling realization the other day: the ABC song has the same tune as “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” Does that totally blow your shit, or what?

(Well, it’s possible I’m kind of easily entertained these days. Look, that dog has a puffy tail! Hee hee hee! Here Puff!)

In other developmental news, Riley has also learned an enormously useful skill, thanks to diligent instruction on our part and several theatrical demonstrations. That’s right, he can lick his fingers clean. If you’re thinking that just sounds unsanitary and maybe a little repulsive, you’ve obviously not had to deal with a kid who wants you to wipe off his peanut-butter-coated pinky after every single bite of his lunch (“Mama help? Riwwy pinger?”).

:::

When I was in Oregon for Labor Day weekend, we made multiple stops at Coos Bay’s premiere drive-through coffee joint, Dutch Bros., and I discovered the magic that is a blended iced vanilla latte. It’s like a sweet delicious combination of a milkshake and a coffee slushy. The way Dutch Bros. makes it results in a perfect ice/coffee/milk ratio, where as you drink it you slowly leave behind a sucked-clean pile of shaved ice.

I’ve now tried to re-create this drink at two different Starbucks, and the results were hideous each time. They blend in too much air, so it’s frothy instead of icy. There’s no ice content, it’s just a cold sort of coffee smoothie. Hard to describe, but it’s definitely no good.

Now that I know the Perfect Warm Weather Coffee Drink exists, I feel it is my mission to find a place that can make it. I can’t go back to Dutch Bros. without a helluva road trip, because the only one in Washington is located in Spokane (where presumably there are not 503857281 competing Starbucks), so what’s a person to do? Call Dutch Bros. and beg them for their recipe like a total shivering JUNKIE?

:::

Yesterday, I ate a meal comprised of liverwurst, mini pretzels, pimiento olives, and candy corn. It was so phenomenally wonderful just writing about it makes me slobber a little. There are a few things I really like about pregnancy, and the near-spiritual, angelic-chorus-accompanied full-body appreciation of the occasional junk food splurge is definitely one of them.

See also: Ding Dongs, strange new addiction to; blended lattes, obsession with.

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thejunebug
14 years ago

Try Dunkin Donuts’ Coolatta? I think they’re probably more similar to what you had than the frappuccinos at Starbucks. Also, all their syrups are sugar free so you can try multiple combinations with no guilt.

(My favorite is toasted almond. Mmm.)

thejunebug
14 years ago

Also: B. My husband cleans the house. :)

Lola
Lola
14 years ago

Also Baa Baa Black sheep…

Emily
14 years ago

If I get a chance, I’ll go to the local Haji shop and see if they have an illegal copy of season 3 for you for like five bucks. Because, hey, what else are third-world countries good for?

Also, if you have never dipped sugar cookies into a vat of peanut butter and eaten them for dinner, you are missing out on a prime junk-food flavor experience. Add tiny marshmallows and the fun never stops.

ShannonJ
ShannonJ
14 years ago

Hah on the housecleaning thing. My husband is actually pretty good about helping clean the house, except it comes out in this accusatory way, like “the shower floor is disgusting, so I’m going to clean the bathroom this afternoon”. As if I am neglecting my wifely duties, even though I also work full time. Oh well, whatever gets him to clean the bathroom, I guess. The thing that got me last night was that we had a power blip-out, and it screwed up the cable box input on our TV. So I come downstairs and he’s watching the tennis match on the kitchen TV, oohing and ahing over great points while I am sitting on the (dusty) floor of our living room unscrewing HDMI cables and shit while grumbling and sarcastically singing “I Enjoy Being a Girl”.

“Riwwy pinger” – cute!

Katie
14 years ago

The musical tune is also the same as “Baa Baa Black Sheep!” Unoriginal song-writers, I guess! :)

When I saw the words “GENDER TEST” I thought we were getting a little first peak at the new baby! Are you going to find out the gender?

Beth
14 years ago

Damn, Lola beat me. And here I thought I was going to totally blow your mind with the Baa Baa Black Sheep thing. But hey, I never knew that either until someone pointed it out to me.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
14 years ago

And here I thought no one in the world other than my family love liverwurst…

thejunebug
14 years ago

I actually have always sung a different tune for Baa Baa Black Sheep- similar, but still different. Odd!

Cari
14 years ago

Ah, men and housecleaning…
I have to lavish praise for simple tasks that are painfully obvious such as putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I take care of the child and tidy up the house and the only rewards I get are freshly removed socks placed on the coffee table (which is were we tend to eat most of our meals). Nice.
However, lest I sound ungrateful, my FIL is in town and Hubs is doing his best to keep me sane for the week that my home is invaded. And he kills yucky bugs.

Sarah
14 years ago

Lest ye despair too much, my dear, BSG Season 3 is available on iTunes. :)

rosegoddesss
rosegoddesss
14 years ago

I second the Coolata. Hazelnut. hmmmmmmmmm yeah.

Shelly
14 years ago

I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t realize the ABC song and Twinkle Twinkle were the same until recently. How did I not know that? I guess that’s why you have kids – to learn all the stuff you missed your first time around. I also had no idea about Baa Baa Black Sheep, though when I sing it it sounds a tiny bit different, but I get the resemblance.

Leah
14 years ago

I was going to be all smart and tell you how Mozart actually wrote the original melody for “Twinkle, Twinkle…,” “ABC,” etc., but it turns out that it’s a lie. Sigh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkle_Twinkle_Little_Star

Mel
Mel
14 years ago

I was at a friend’s shouse and the mobile was playing this familar tune. I couldn’t figure it out. Balem it on lack of sleep or blown brain cells–whatever, both are probably true. Then, I burst out, “Hey, the mobile is playing the ABC song!” My husband’s family politely agreed; later, like 20 minutes later, I figured it it was “Twinkle twinkle.” Ah, well. *foolish grin* Yup, you have to have kids to figure this stuff out.

Philos
14 years ago

thejunebug (and others): there are no Dunkin Donuts in Seattle. In fact there are none within at least 50 miles of Seattle; I checked the store finder just to be sure, and that’s as far out as it searches.

warcrygirl
14 years ago

Housework? HA! Hubby doesn’t do housework, that’s why he has me. Yes, he’s actually said that to me and no, he isn’t swimmin’ wit da fishes.

Not yet, anyway.

jonniker
14 years ago

I second the Dunkin’ Donuts Coolatta recommendation, and if you want to die and go to cholesterol heaven, get it with cream.

Also, seriously, liverwurst? That just … well, it seems like the anti-pregnancy food, if you ask me, because it’s all white and pasty and processed and oh my God, I just died a little inside, because, LIVERWURST. GAH.

Jen O.
14 years ago

Do you have Tim Horton’s where you live? I know there are a few starting to trickle their way into the States. My favourite drink of all time is their Iced Cappuchino. Delicioso! I get the extra, extra, gigantic, obnoxiously large and I’ve got a good buzz for a few hours.

big dust
big dust
14 years ago

Have you tried drinking cold-brewed coffee with ice and milk? The NY Times Magazine had an article and “recipe” a few months back. I have to have coffee in the morning, but it is HOT here (Austin) and there is nothing more depressing than sipping your coffee in the morning and getting all sweaty in your pajamas.

I tried it and am absolutely addicted. Even with just ice and splenda, I swear it tastes just like the most delicious chocolate milkshake. If you used crushed ice, I bet you’d get pretty close to what you’re craving.

And a plus for your current no-kitchen situation, the recipe is just to soak a pound of ground coffee with chicory in 10 cups of water overnight, strain it, and keep it in a jar in the refrigerator. I use the sugar free Torani vanilla syrup from Cost Plus – heaven….

Corina
14 years ago

I feel your pain on the wait for Season 3 of BSG. I watched the first two seasons in one marathon DVD binge after finally getting worn down by a friend who kept insisting it was the best show on television (after The Wire of course). And then had to wait several months for Season 3 to begin airing . . . which ended in February with another huge cliffhanger . . . and I just about slit my wrists when I realized I’d have to wiat another year for Season 4. I just might have just googled medically induced coma because I could not imagine waiting that long.

karamarie
14 years ago

It seems so fortunate, that everything tastes good to you just as Halloween candy is being stocked. Fortunate, I say! I’m pretty excited for candy corn, except not so much with a side of liverwurst.

shy Victoria
14 years ago

I hear you bigtime on the season 3 thing… whaaaaa? *sob*

bea
bea
14 years ago

I’m glad someone else had that twinkle epiphany! When I discovered it and told my husband, he was all “duh!” Anyway, I sing Twinkle Twinkle, ABC and Baa Baa Black Sheep in a row to my 16 month old all the time. It makes it a real long lullaby.

Jennifer
14 years ago

WTF is liverwurst? Seriously – I have no idea – does it come in tube form a la kielbasa or sliced, like corned beef? Sadly, that’s the big scientific experiment I hope to conduct while pregnent, ‘whatever will I crave?’ I hope its something crazy, regardless. As The Pickiest Eater Alive, I need some variety.

While I can’t suggest anything somewhat milkshakey and delicious – if you have a caribou coffee anywhere in your vicinty I am willing to bet they have something equally amazing!

thejunebug
14 years ago

No Dunkin Donuts??! Be still my beating heart- I’ve lived in the East far too long; I’ve forgotten that they are rare out west.

Poor Linda, you have my sympathies. :(

ShannonJ
ShannonJ
14 years ago

I’ve heard Arby’s Jamocha milkshakes are good… maybe too chocolatey too be considered a true coffee drink, though.

Melissa
14 years ago

I swear to GOD I saw a Dutch Bros in Bellingham last weekend. I may have been hallucinating, but it was THERE I tell you.

Leslie
Leslie
14 years ago

Mmm, liverwurst. The Oscar Meyer tube, I assume? Do you add a slice of extra-juicy tomato to cut the sort of … solidity… of the spread? My mother used to eat it with a slice of onion, and looking back and knowing Dad’s abhorance of liver, maybe it was her “ain’t gettin’ any tonight, jackass” food.

Not a dish low in fat and cholesterol, though. I like to think the triangular candy corn helps scrape the arteries clean.

Bethany
14 years ago

I’m also going to sing the praises of the Coolatta…you even get that same pile of ice at the bottom after you’ve finished the perfectly blended coffee.

AndreAnna
14 years ago

Baskin Robins has these coffee ice cream blended things that put Coolattas to shame, and I am a huge Dunkin Donuts whore.

I’ve never had Dutch Bro out here on the east coast, but it sounds similar to the Baskin Robins one. If you have one nearby, it may be worth a shot.

And my pregnancy meal for like 3 weeks was cream cheese and jelly on Eggo Waffles with crumbled pretzles on top.

Tracey
Tracey
14 years ago

If you’re having trouble keeping your shit together due to BSG withdrawal (believe me, I understand!) and don’t want to PAY for the iTunes, I highly suggest this website:

http://www.tv-links.co.uk

I watched all three seasons online, from this website. The quality is not always spectacular, and you’d have to hook up a computer to a TV via an S-video port if you don’t want to crowd around a monitor. But it’s free and all the episodes seem to be there still!

FYI- I heard from the guys who play Chief Tyrol and Apollo that SciFi channel is considering stretching season 4 into season 4 and 4.5 by playing the first ten episodes this spring and then making us wait until the following spring for the remaining ten. Just thought you might want to prepare yourself if it’s true!

Amber
14 years ago

Holy shit! You are SO right about Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and the alphabet! It’s a conspiracy, I’m sure, to help first year tots remember their alphabet better, but HOW COOL is that? I totally want to sing them both now, and am actually 25. Evidently you are not alone in your ease to be amused.

Swistle
14 years ago

Hey! It turns out I’m female!

After several similar Netflix/series disappointments, I have a new rule: I only watch series that are OVER, so I can watch them all the way through to the end. This means I am only now watching Angel, and probably won’t be watching Bones until the kids are in college, but so be it.

Does Riley do the “LMNO” part? Around here it’s furtive mm-mm-mm-mm sounds with vigorous nodding: “…H I J K mm-mm-mm-mm P!”

Yay for Simpsons reference!

“Riwwy pinger?” is too cute to be tolerated.

Amber
14 years ago

Okay, also, maybe I live under a rock…but I have never heard of BSG…is it really that good? Should I become addicted as well?

Scott
14 years ago

I am right there with you about BSG. I am hoarding the last 10 episodes of Season 3 (purchased from iTunes) like a chipmunk, knowing that there will be no more acorns…er, episodes, until February.

P.S. If you want to be sad, read this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlestar_Galactica_%282004_TV_series%29#Season_Four

jonniker
14 years ago

Oh my God, no Dunkin’ Donuts? NO DUNKIN’ DONUTS? The thought literally makes me break out in hives. Is it really true?

Darin
14 years ago

Try a Java Frosty next time your in te Salem/Woodburn or redmond oregon area (by Bend) That blended Iced coffee will knocks your socks off!

Darin
14 years ago

AT java Crew. http://www.javacrew.com

Philos
14 years ago

I want to say that I can’t believe they’d make us wait most of a year for the second half of season 4 for no reason… but I’ve been through all this before with Farscape. SciFi: Only Slightly Better Than Fox About Airing Its Series.

There actually were two Dunkin Donuts in the general Seattle area when I moved here in 2002, but they decided not to continue the franchise. Seattle does seem to have a general lack of doughnuts besides crappy supermarket ones, except for the wonderful wonderful Top Pot Doughnuts, which are better than Dunkin’s.

jules
jules
14 years ago

I’m sorry, but I’m shocked that no one has mentioned…the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf’s Ice Blended Vanilla is the best invention ever made. Not sure if they are up there in your parts, but they are all over CA. The perfect combo of coffee, ice, and sweet milky vanilla, definitely make life worth living.

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

My husband has actually started to clean a little……well “straighten up” since he has been out of work for a month with a bad back. Of course then he needs to rub it in that he actually cleaned.

We have a deal though he takes care of the outside of the house, yard etc. I take care of the inside.

Jeanette
14 years ago

I hear ya on the Netflix thing. My husband and I are currently awating the last season of The Sopranos and now we get to wait for the second season of Big Love, which I’m pretty sure isn’t even finished yet! Oh, and your little mini-meal sounds delicious to me and I’m not even pregnant!

ali
ali
14 years ago

hey…what the hell IS liverwurst anyway??!!

ang
ang
14 years ago

I’m a little behind on my reading, but the ‘cat is stealing my breath’ thing was read?? I laughed so hard I blew coffee in my keyboard. Both of my cats sleep with us. Sometimes my nine year old kid as well. Two words: California King.

Christina
Christina
14 years ago

I do the same thing Bea does with my 10-month old (all in a row), the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Baa Baa Black Sheep – and yes, there is ONE more to the same tune: Fishy Fishy In The Brook (which my mom used to sing when we were kids):

Fishy Fishy In The Brook
Papa Catch Him On His Hook
Mama Fry Them In The Pan
Baby Eat ‘Em Like A Man

(yes, it’s a bit dated in its slant, but it does make for a longer lullaby lol)

Jess
14 years ago

Starting your post off with the words “GENDER TEST” (in all caps, no less!) is just plain mean. Now I’m crushed that we still don’t know the gender of the baby. CRUSHED.

Adrien
14 years ago

I have two episodes left to watch of Battlestar 2.5. TWO EPISODES LEFT. I am already bereft.