September 16, 2007

JB’s parents were planning to stop by our house on the return drive from their trip to Banff, and when I heard they were set to arrive on Monday I thought, sweet, that’s when the cleaning people come. No pre-visitor spit-shining necessary! (Note to any potential visitors: no actual spit typically involved. Well, not my spit anyway.)

Then the visit was rescheduled for Saturday, and I was all, fooey, now I have to 409 the guest bathroom with my own delicate petal-soft fingers. L’ennui est moi! And then on Friday afternoon while contractors swarmed our house like bees and every surface of my house had an inch-thick layer of sawdust and I was unshowered and unkempt and our evening plans contained nothing more taxing than perhaps a brisk lie-down on the couch in front of Season 1 Disc 1 of Dexter, JB informed me that his parents were in fact going to be arriving in, uh, about an hour and a half.

Now, I’m not totally against spontaneity as a general rule, but in certain situations I find it frustrating when there are DEVIATIONS FROM THE PLAN. When you have ninety minutes to make both your house and self marginally presentable, for instance.

Of course, once the flurry of preparation was over and everyone had arrived and there was a nearly disgusting amount of grandparent-grandchild bonding going on, it was all good, especially since their presence allowed JB and I to escape to not one but two movies (3:10 to Yuma and Shoot ‘Em Up, both of which were highly satisfying [in entirely different ways] and featured men with oh-so-lickable cheekbones), and even a sushi dinner (don’t even look at me like that, I had the cooked variety. And just a single serving of blowfish).

It’s a little chaotic having houseguests while the kitchen is off limits, in part because we’re limited to picnic-ware until I once again have a sink I can wash things in. I delivered my Destroy the Earth speech about how no, we aren’t saving the plastic utensils and re-washing them (specifically, *I* am not washing them, anyone else is more than welcome to do so), we are throwing them right the hell away, but JB’s parents are chronic savers (just try and throw out any leftovers that could technically be termed as “edible” around these guys, didn’t you know that someone could totally eat that half-bite of potato salad later? Except no one ever does, of course, and THAT is how you end up with raccoons in the fridge) and I kept finding these cups half-full of water with dirty forks and spoons stuck in them, multiple little pre-soak stations for the washing up that I had no intention of doing.

Also, I say this with affection, but neither of JB’s parents can eat an entire banana. Half is their preferred serving size, and so after breakfast there is always half a banana lying there like a sex crime victim, its peel barely covering the sadly exposed flesh within. And the next thing you know, you’re batting wildly at the air in front of you, because motherfucking fruit flies.

They left this morning and while the house feels a little more manageable now, there’s also a palpable emptiness in their wake. Riley has been a massive pain in the ass since their departure, and it makes me remember being a child myself and how my grandparents were magical, wondrous creatures whose visits were even better than Christmas. Grandparents are patient, they want to play all of the time, and they always think their grandchildren are perfect. No wonder he’s pissed off, now he’s stuck with his boring old parents, who in turn are feeling like those child-free evenings were very fine indeed, and in some cases if we are to be completely honest over here, a movie and a box of Milk Duds completely trumps parenting a toddler.

So that’s my news. Tell me, what did you do this weekend?

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Kathryn
Kathryn
16 years ago

Friday: went for dinner at a Colombian steakhouse with friends, where we proceeded to order approximately everything on the menu. Plus “Chicago’s best sangria.” Plus the wine we brought with us.

Saturday: Renegade Craft Fair, which is kind of an indie-ish thing. Like real-life Etsy. Fun, even if the wares did get a little repetitive from booth to booth. Then dinner at a hoitily-toitily organic pizza place (umm, I don’t so much care about the provenance of my food, so much as I care about getting it into my great gaping maw). The pizza was good (slab bacon, I tell you!), the martini (apple cider and brown sugar-infused vodka) was phenomenal. I’d be willing to negotiate sexual favors for another taste of this martini (at $10 per, I may HAVE to).

Today: a whole lot of nothing. Surfing the interwebs, and trying to menu-plan for the week so that I can stop eating out so damn much. Which, remind me–why is that a bad thing?

Emily
16 years ago

Same thing as every weekend — tried to take over the world.

Nah, just kidding. My weekend was boring. Although I think you guys should invest in titanium sporks — one handy utensil that is easy to wash and can be used for everything!

Pete
Pete
16 years ago

Nothing, my wife finally bought the perfect family car she has been wanting for years, the new VW Beetle. I’m just finishing up the new laundry room in the garage.

karamarie
16 years ago

Our broken washer was repaired, and I did a lot of laundry. A lot. And there was cleaning and watching tv. Exciting!

Jenn
16 years ago

My weekend…3 words: Grad school sucks. As with every weekend until May 2009 my days are spent reading boring textbooks (Current Psychotherapies for example) until my eyelids say no more and writing papers. Fun Fun.

sooboo
sooboo
16 years ago

Worked on a new drawing, went to a friends art opening, pulled massive amounts of ivy out of the yard until my fingers hurt, cleaned the house, went grocery shopping.

Liz
Liz
16 years ago

Nothing yesterday except Indian food for dinner. My kid will eat anything (knock on wood). Today we’re going to do the Puyallup!

Moderndayhermit
16 years ago

We just watched Season 1 Disk 1 of Dexter this weekend and I loved it! I can’t wait for the additional disks. It is so tempting just to purchase a few episodes from iTunes.

warcrygirl
16 years ago

I slept in on Sat morning, took Jr to football practice, farted around on the computer. Sunday, went to church and two soccer games.

Holy crap I’m boring.

Amber
16 years ago

I ended up working, which totally squashed my plans to go to a movie (any movie!) with my very attractive date. So instead of watching said date all weekend, hoping he would stretch so I could catch a glimpse of his very nice abs, I was holed up in the office, where I didn’t get so much as an entertaining phone call.

Jo
Jo
16 years ago

Saw Snow Patrol in concert on Saturday night, still buzzing, it was amazing. Their songs were fantastic live and, oh my god, the irish accents just turn me to mush!

Daily Tragedies
16 years ago

Friday — drank for six hours. Showed off my atrocious pool skills.

Saturday — college football. Yes, all day. Stop looking at me like that.

Today — scrub kitchen. Do laundry and ironing. Figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life.

If [number of brownies eaten] is proportional to [solving existential crisis], then I’m well on my way.

Michelle
Michelle
16 years ago

Well, Saturday, we built a house for a nice lady and her kids. Really, my husband and I with about a hundred other people, spent the whole day being carpenters, roofers and painters. We volunteered for Habitat for Humanity. It was a bunch more fun than I thought it would be. I am a tool-retard. My motto is Home Repairs Require Paid Professionals. Before I began any work, I tried to rally the other voluteers to pitch in and pool our money so that we could go hire a contractor and leave to go have cocktails. Sadly, I had no takers. Instead, I painted, sanded, even sawed! The best part was I got to work along side of the family who would get the house we were working on. How cool was that??

What a cool weekend!

Cee
Cee
16 years ago

I think if I had lived without a kitchen for as long as you have, I’d be ready to move into a hotel right about now. I spent my weekend packing in preparation for moving house, which was exciting. I came to work this morning feeling very smug and productive, thinking about all those piles of packed boxes, before I reached out for my mouse and spilled my coffee into my lap. So now I am damp, coffee-smelling, and not so smug anymore.

Gertie
16 years ago

I just this moment finished watching episode 11 of Season 1 Dexter. It is airing in the UK now and I can’t believe I have to wait another week for the finale. Good stuff Maynerd!

This weekend I read a couple of books from my 100-Classics List, uploaded more photos to flickr, and cleaned the flat in preparation for the worker arriving at 8am tomorrow to remove the carpet and install hard-wood floors. Yay.

H
H
16 years ago

Shopped, which I hate. Spent most of my time with my 16 year old daughter (who also hates to shop) trying to find the perfect dress, shoes (for pictures), flip flops (for the dance) and necklace for the Homecoming dance. All we have left now is to order the boutonniere.

A bunch of the moms are considering asking the school if they’d please move the dance so it is immediately after the football game on Friday night rather than Saturday night. Then the kids can skip the all-day-Saturday preparations, the fancy meal, flowers and fancy attire hoopla. It’s OK for prom, but we think this is getting out of hand!

Leslie
Leslie
16 years ago

I tried my damnest to cough up a lung, or at least a few hunks of tissue. I also finished up the first season of *Dexter,* which I recommend watching only when you’re feeling healthy. There were some iffy moments for me in episode nine or ten.

Kim
Kim
16 years ago

The Pullalyup Fair! And grad school orientation and work…freaking work all day Sunday due to some people with crazy expectations.

Jess
16 years ago

Can’t JB’s parents SHARE a banana? Half each? No? Oh, well. Anyway, I read that Japanese women eat raw fish during pregnancy with no side effects, and that it is American overzealousness that has made it completely verboten for pregnant women here. And I am clinging desperately to this idea, because I can’t imagine going nine months without sushi.

Anyway, this weekend was full of dinner with friends, as well as a Zipcar Mini Cooper convertible down to Mt. Vernon to enjoy the view and the beautiful weather.

DDM(Sonia)
16 years ago

Friday, cleaned house to prepare for……
Saturday, I threw a baby shower. But there was a bad car accident right out our back door, which knocked out our power. Before I had baked the quiches for the main course for the 30 people arriving at my house for lunch. Or had a shower and dried my hair. My husband is a fire fighter, and was the first officer on the scene of the accident. If I sound calloused, I’m sorry, this happens a lot. We call that corner something inappropriate to repeat because of all the accidents that happen there. The baby shower went fine, once all the guests got through the traffic jam from the accident. A friend saved the day by bringing sandwich supplies to supplement in the absence of the quiches.

Am I rambling? I think I might be rambling…..

Sunday. Here I am. And might I suggest that there’s something in the Seattle area water causing the naughtiness of both your and my kids? My boy has been in timeout 4 times already. I’m lounging a bit and downloading shower pictures at Flickr. I plan to do nothing more stressful than put the kid in timeout the rest of the day. :-)

janet
16 years ago

I actually thought of you and your remodel this weekend, since husband and I are in the middle of moving and packing and UGH just about every function of the house is under assault from being half-packed away and then just a complete freaking mess. At least we still have a sink though; I’ll be thankful for that.

Swistle
16 years ago

My mother-in-law is coming next month, so I shopped for “good dishes” and “guest towels” and “guest sheets.” And anti-anxiety medication.

Heidi
16 years ago

Just wanted to say that I love reading your blog!! You are hilarious and have a great way of putting the things we all think/feel into words :)

anna
anna
16 years ago

Well, my sister tried to end her life which kinda put a damper on things….
PLUS, I was battling flu at the same time…still am, and maybe want to battle my sister a wee bit too for putting herself and us through that crap.
Thats all.

Brooke
16 years ago

Jesus, Anna, that sucks. I wish you and your family peace and strength at this time.

Swistle, I have a full Rx of Xanax and I’m pregnant. *NOT OFFERING TO SELL IN CASE THE FDA IS READING*

Friday…spent 8 hours wishing someone would give me something to do.

Saturday…slept through stepson’s 7 AM pictures and 8 AM soccer game (Hubby went). Got up at 9, fed The Girl, went shopping for Worms n’ Dirt ingredients. Went to The Girl’s picture session, wind blew my hair in my face, I’m sure I look like a freak in the picture. Coach was half-hour late for picture, which precluded us from feeding kids anything but hot dogs for lunch before their game. Watched girls shut out opponents 5-0. At least this week my kid didn’t get kicked in the face while goaltending. Got my oil changed. Helped Girl spend $15 at Toys R Us. Bought some maternity tops. Got us a mani-pedi. Ate dinner. Rested while Girl and Hubby walked dogs. Put girl to bed. Played with hubby.

Sunday…cleaned house like mad before 11 AM playdate. 11-3, playdate, incuded walk to park to check out next weekend’s party location. Straightened guest room for guests arriving Friday for party. Wondered who is actually coming because only three people have RSVP’d. Neglected to make Worms n’ Drit, decided to come home early tomorrow to do it, along with flour-based relief map construction material. Got weepy over my baby turning 8 on Tuesday. Ordering Christmas gifts now and waiting for Girl to decide she’s hungry because I know I am.

McWriter
16 years ago

I had repairative ear surgery on Friday. I have been almost completely deaf in my left ear since I was a baby. And now … I THINK I can hear better. It’s like magic. Read more here: http://mcwriter.wordpress.com/2007/09/15/gurgles-sweet-gurgles/

zu
zu
16 years ago

I got surprised!
With a b-day party!
And my teeth were still hurting from dental work.
And I got really high infront of my in-laws and I was so paranoid that OMG they will notice. It felt like being on the set of That 70’s Show.

Good times. (minus the teeth)

Liz
Liz
16 years ago

Saturday: Worked. 6AM to 7PM, after working till midnight the night before. Ah, the joys of medical residency. Enough said about that. Came home and informed my husband that I was planning to sleep till noon and then not move until there was coffee.

Sunday: Slept till 10, woken by cat “snuggling” in a deliberately obstreporous way intended to make me get up and fill his food dish. Refused to take the bait and lay in bed until the cat gave up and decided that he’d rather be snuggled after all. Got up at noon when my husband brought me coffee. Ah. Then cleaned house all afternoon in preparation for the folks who will be stopping by this week to ensure that our window air conditioners aren’t going to fall out and kill anyone on the street below. Thanks to this afternoon’s work, they will actually be able to get to the window without having to climb Mt Laundry to get there.

Was planning on an evening of Netflix but thanks to poor planning we only have Vols. 1 and 2 of “Jancis Dickinson Teaches Wine Appreciation”. Instead I am appreciating the heck out of a yummy Primitivo and eating Indian food as my life partner watches football.

superblondgirl
16 years ago

No movies and no Milk Duds here. We went grocery shopping! And to the park for a walk, and then on garden tours and to lunch with my mom. It was a mellow weekend, but over way, way, way too soon. Work in less than 10 hours? Please don’t bring that on. Give me another day off, universe.
I need a vacation.

SaturnCat
16 years ago

My almost-3-year old took a header on the sidewalk outside our apartment today and split her forehead clean open. And scratched up the right side of her face. She’s fine, of course, and spent the rest of the day tearing around the house like normal, just with Neosporin all over her cheek and chin, and butterfly strips on her head to keep her gaping head wound closed (oh, alright, it’s only a cut about a quarter inch long, but you should have SEEN the blood). Me, on the other hand… I need a 6-pack, some valium, and a way to erase the sound of her head bouncing off the sidewalk. But we’ll both live, I’m sure.

Alex
16 years ago

I just moved to NYC last week, and started work on Tuesday, so it’s been hellish trying to get unpacked (still living out of a suitcase), buy all the essentials (moving is annoying, so I just came out here with two suitcases full of clothes and sent my computer and a few other things USP). Still have to buy a bed, cable is getting hooked up on Tuesday, don’t have a TV yet (ordered one today though). Anyway.

Yesterday I went to Long Island for a block party with my girlfriend’s relatives. I’ve never experienced a block party, and I must say this stuff is pretty slick. When I was young, all my neighbors were a bunch of geriatrics, so a block party for us would’ve probably consisted of a bunch of old-timers playing canasta or gin rummy. Lots of good food, good music, and a bunch of kids running around. That lasted all day.

Today I went to Crate & Barrel. This something new to me; there’s no Crate in Barrel in Iowa City or where I grew up (Cedar Falls). With a new apartment, it needs furnishing, so we went there today and I must say, I think I’m becoming domesticated or something. I’ve always hated furniture shopping but Crate & Barrel is awesome. I could see myself dropping an entire year’s paycheck there in two hours.

Came home, tried to get some work done, but instead I’m reading your blog and procrastinating. Early case of the Mondays, methinks.

Barb
Barb
16 years ago

Ha, my mom always did the half banana thing when they visited, too. It would soon turn brown and my daughter, who hates all things brown, would freak and she STILL talks about it, all these years later.

We thought 3:10 to Yuma was great. Crowe was fabulous and Bales was, well, yummy. (And I think he’s a great actor but he’s just so yummy. Did I already say that?)

shy Victoria
16 years ago

Erm, I visited a friend in the hospital (and came home and washed off the germs I could feel clinging to me) and then I had really weird dreams (apparently my deaf sister murdered a bunch of people and I covered for her….but I don’t have a sister so glean some meaning out of that would ya?) and then I looked up some stuff on the internet that I don’t understand but have to explain to people at work tomorrow.

Oh, and something fast and brown ran out from under my couch and I don’t know if I’d rather it was a spider or a mouse. Whatever it was I hope it has now run away and taken any/all friends with it.

Plus I ate an ice cream bar and did laundry.

Lisa
16 years ago

Hmm…..dealt with a sick toddler, had an impromptu dessert and drinks party with the neighbors, were confined to our houses most of the weekend because of a wimpy typhoon and had our daily conversation about whether to stay in or get out of the military. Which continues to make me lose sleep…well you know, major life decisions like that AND a sick toddler that coughs and wakes up every hour.

Thursday
16 years ago

Welcomed my man home from his business trip to India, cooed appropriately at his fragility (Delhi-belly), weeded the garden, picked a bagful of tomatoes, lolled on the sofa getting covered in cat hair, went down the pub for a Sunday lunchtime pint – the usual stuff really.

Jem
Jem
16 years ago

I went to a baby shower on Saturday, where we played games and I won EVERY SINGLE COMPETITION except for one where I came second, but shh. But I put the blocks in the baby toy the quickest. And I measured a piece of wool that fitted the mum-to-be’s stomach PERFECTLY, so go me! 1 more on the guessing-the-baby-photos game and I would have been 3 for 3! So I chose my prize of a bottle of wine, and gave my other prize away, for I am kind and gracious. ha.

Then I had band practise…this is reading like a diary entry…oh, and I finished my 7 day juice fast the day before, so I ate as much junk food as I could possibly cram into me. It was a good day.

stephanie brown
stephanie brown
16 years ago

I attempted a date with a guy I’ve been waiting to ask me out since…..May-ish. Word to the wise….don’t ever go on a first date as a double date….with people that are just as nervous as you. Because then you all become tense and you all become uptight and it kinda really ruins things. Also, please no shopping on a first date….especially if it becomes a 2 1/2 hour trip. Cause really…what kind of intimate setting is Old Navy? Oh, it’s not. I was offered gum at the end of the night and scoffed at the idea that after this 4 hour span of awkwardness I was certainly not getting a kiss….we hadn’t even held hands for goodness sake. Don’t get me wrong….there were certainly moments of extreme enjoyment. But all in all, it was just another night like we always have together….as friends. Now I know what she meant by that song “Did I shave my legs for this?”.
Blah

Eric's Mommy
16 years ago

Friday night we went out to dinner while Eric stayed overnight with the in-laws.

Saturday Eric had a soccer game in the rain, where his team got their little butts kicked.

Sunday Eric had soccer pictures and then we ended up having to hang out at Chuck’s grandparent’s house while he worked on his old car with some friends, it was soooooo boring.

Niki P.
Niki P.
16 years ago

Went to a rodeo sorting event where my friend forgot how to count, “What comes after 4???” and I am standing on the bleachers screaming at her, “5! 5! It’s the bald faced cow behind the black one over here by me!!!” Then I had the pleasure of watching my son’s peewee football team get the ever loving bejesus pounded out of them! They lost 52-12. Those boys never gave up and scored one of their touchdowns late in the 4th quarter. They never gave up!
Yeah, pretty boring here too but full.

Rumblelizard
Rumblelizard
16 years ago

My Scottish fiance arrived in town on Friday. We haven’t seen each other since July. I guarantee I had a better weekend than just about everyone. :D

JennB
JennB
16 years ago

Went for hike yesterday with the dogs and the kid, and oh my god, the kid did a great job and my thighs are KILLING me but it was a beautiful, sunny, cool day… my absolute favorite kind.

Also studied for the GREs, and I am KICKING ASS in the practice parts – well, for the vocabulary parts. The math is still sort of a hail mary pass every time.

Love the banana analogy (would that be a “banology”?). My aunt does the same thing, except for with ALL fruit. Just eat it, already!

http://www.opaqueprintproduction.com/jbblog

Sadie
Sadie
16 years ago

Normally I would not want to read about a bunch of strangers’ weekends but somehow your comments section feels a little more intimate and familiar than the rest of the interwebnets, and I like to read these.

Friday I had pizza and beer with a girlfriend and tried to nonchalantly watch the Red Sox/Yankees game on the TV behind her at the bar.

Saturday my mother and I took a little road trip to a new specialty grocery store, and bought a bunch of interesting food. Then my brother and his girlfriend arrived and we all went out to dinner at a cheap Mexican place, before meeting up with my boyfriend for some barhopping.

Sunday my mom and my brother’s girlfriend and I took a drive into the Berkshires to visit the Yankee Candle flagship store (olfactory fatigue! it is real) and have lunch. The weekend was capped by a nice home-cooked dinner with the boyfriend and another Red Sox-Yankees game. The end.

Becky
Becky
16 years ago

Hubby and I drove half way across the US for my baby shower and then drove half way across the US again……fun times!

jonniker
16 years ago

There was a big op ed in the NY Times a few months ago about sushi and pregnancy — basically, it said that it’s more than fine to eat it, and that 99% of foodborne illness from raw fish is from shellfish, and that to not eat sushi is giving the big old finger to Japanese culture. Because, of course, Japanese pregnant women eat sushi as their mainstay all the damn time, and think we’re off our rockers.

Personally, I’m planning to subscribe to this theory.

As for my weekend, dude, childhood friend’s wedding, and it was *awesomely awesome*. I am rather bummed to be back home.

omu
omu
16 years ago

Friday evening started out with great promise. We walked to the loacl high school fotball game with the bean safely esconced in his stroller. He greatly enjoyed the game that we watched before the cold sent us fleeing for home (37 degrees according to the stroller temp. people!!) and it was a formative memory, I’m sure.

Then the weekend went to hell.

As I put him to bed, the bean threw up – and that’s how the weekend continued. Much vomiting and simpering and whining for MOMMY! by a nearly two year old.

And of course the crux of the weekend was that grandpa came in to town this weekend for the first time in recorded history, and the bean couldn’t be roused out of his dehydrted, vomiting stupor long enough to play and be cute.

Ugh!!

missbanshee
missbanshee
16 years ago

Personally, I think the whole “sushi = BAD” thing is total crap, but then, I’ve never been pregnant, and had the emotions associated with it, so I should probably shut up.

Susie
16 years ago

What is it with in-laws that they can never seem to determine a definite arrival time??? Mine do that too, as if we have nothing else to do but sit around pining for their arrival…grrrr.

Went to see Superbad, which was only on the table as an option because of your hearty recommendation — thanks, we laughed out loud all the way through and had a great time!

Sarah
16 years ago

I had some real 10-minute apart contractions and then they stopped. And I cried. And remained pregnant.

The rest of the weekend was a blur of nesting and trying everything under the sun to get this damn baby out of me.

Alyce
Alyce
16 years ago

I read Meg Hourihan’s food blog megnut (Meg is Jason Kottke’s wife, which you probably know). She did a great piece on how she ate while pregnant and addresses some of the common no-no list items like soft cheeses and sushi: http://www.megnut.com/2007/07/how-i-ate-while-pregnant

This weekend I:
watched TV (House marathon on USA on Saturday, Emmy’s last night)
saw a movie (Death at a Funeral)
fretted about work stuff
surfed the intarwebs