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  • Ok but ALSO:
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  • You can’t go home again
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  • Before and after
  • A cringe confession on friendship

Archives from 2002-2006

This is always a stressful time of year for me at work, because the one and only industry exhibition Workplace participates in is stupidly, hatefully, sucktastically scheduled for early January, making tradeshow preparations a major feature of my overall Relaxing Holiday Experience. Will the CDs be finished on time, have the brochures been finalized, how many ponderous internal discussions over the pros and cons of various t-shirt manufacturers can I listen to before my head simply explodes in a festive spray of Christmas cheer, etc.

I’ve been feeling sort of Grinchy about the holidays this year as a result of Tradeshow Clusterfuck 2007, looming freelance deadlines, the vague fear that Smalltopus will make a sudden and unexpected appearance and I still haven’t gotten the nursery ready, and what I have come to think of as Third Trimester Malaise (where your sheer girth and physical discomfort transform most activities into Herculean-sounding battles of will and effort, even if it’s something like, “Get up off the couch and go pee”), however, I think I’m getting back into the swing of things. I made JB drive us around earlier to look at the lights on houses in our neighborhood (Riley: “KIMASS LIGHTS! YAY!”), I listened to the lovely and wistful Aimee Mann, I guzzled a peppermint white chocolate mocha, I watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special with Riley; I’m starting to feel the spirit of the season. I mean, if a godless heathen is allowed to say so.

JB’s parents arrive tomorrow and will stay through the middle of the week, and JB’s brother is scheduled to make an appearance at least for Christmas eve and morning. I’m planning a holiday menu of baked ham, scalloped potatoes, this green bean dish from Ree over at Pioneer Woman—which dude, I know, it doesn’t sound good, but believe me it IS—and about a million black olives, because truthfully they are my favorite part of any holiday meal.

Next weekend we’re going to visit my side of the family in Port Angeles, where we’ll have another little holiday celebration and Riley will likely run amok and terrorize the household pets and attempt to climb my aunt’s beautiful vintage carousel horse.

So, my goals for this week: try and chill the hell out about (stupid) Macworld, dial back a bit on blog-writing, and stuff my already-enormous belly full of many unhealthy snacks. Lofty! Yet attainable, I hope.

If you’ll pardon me sapping out for a minute, I am extraordinarily thankful for all of the support and kindness you’ve shown me this year, my internet friends. From my family to yours, I hope you have a perfectly wonderful holiday, if you’re celebrating, and a wonderful, relaxing week regardless.

Also! I’d love to know what your plans are, so if you get a minute, share: what are you doing, where are you going, what will you be eating?

Believe it or not, there are times I hesitate over posting something that I worry might be too personal, or too whiny, or too . . . I don’t know, embarrassing. But every single time I kind of squint my eyes and hit the publish button, I am completely blown away by the kindness and comfort I receive in return. Thank you for that, a million times over.

This is probably a toooootal no-shitter at this point, but MAN have I been hormonal lately. I don’t remember getting all whacky in the head-meat when I was pregnant with Riley, but this time around? Whoah. The other night JB tried to blow up a balloon for Riley and it made this squeaky air-fart sound and I seriously had to change my pants because I laughed so hard. At a balloon. Later, I bawled like a calf during the evening news because some horrible story about a child’s death was aired. Oh, and then I watched this video (for the millionth time) and I was overwhelmed with a nearly painful love for humanity and the desire to buy the world a Coke, especially people who synchronize holiday lights with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

Emotionally, I feel very much like a too-full glass of water, constantly brimming and threatening to spill over my confines. Now that I think about it, this is not entirely dissimilar to how I feel physically at this point, too. MY CUP OF BELLEH RUNNETH OVER.

Anyway, with that in mind, please enjoy two photos that have been making me laugh pretty much nonstop over the last couple days. Depending on how unbalanced your brain chemistry is at the moment, your humor mileage may vary.

Okay, so this is my son’s most recent ‘school’ photo. Where to start? There is just SO MUCH THAT IS WRONG. The looming, phallic mushrooms; the terrifyingly bright-eyed turtle peering intently in its quest to find the most delicious, tender spot from which to take a bite of toddler-flesh; the cheesy background; and oh yes, the sobbing child. Normally I can’t stop myself from buying these lame, posed images, but I managed to take a pass on this particular round.

And this? Well, this is how we entertain ourselves when there’s nothing on TV, I guess. If you feel compelled to tell me how cruel the practice of cat-tossing is, let me assure you she was purring the whole time. Also, I used to think JB was kind of a stud for being able to leap fences with ease, but now I’m even more impressed he can catch a claws-out cat dropping from the sky without getting his jugular shredded in the process.

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