i had my yearly duckbilled exam the other week too. funny…my doc’s scale was wildly innacurate too. of course, i don’t strip down naked and balance on one leg when i get weighed at the doc’s office…that might have something to do with it. but really…at this point, i’ve just stopped weighing myself…when you get to over 100 lb overweight…do the numbers really matter anymore?? i think not. (you on the other hand, are lookin’ FINE! dayam!)

Gone for 9 days?!?! I’m rocking in a corner FOR you.

I would love to offer to come and help you look after your kids! it would be like a holiday from the job that i do. Unfortunatly… i live on the other side of the world. :(

And of course your scales are accurate. You always trust the lightest weight…. Its just the rules!

Heh. Once went to an appointment for birth control renewal and the doctor WAS someone I went to high school with. Luckily I saw him come out for the previous patient and was able to mumble some half-baked excuse to the receptionist and beat a hasty retreat.

No comment on your other questions except that doctor’s scales are always wrong. Don’t forget to do all you can to help the accuracy, like stripping down to your underwear, keeping your toenails short, and taking a deep, deep breath before stepping on.

I get my lady parts checked annually by an office full of women all of whom are approximately 10 years my senior. And yet (and YET) on a recent visit the doctor examining me asked if the med student shadowing her observed. Of course not! All in the name of science! Um, that med student was about 2 years younger than me, extremely attractive, and of the male persuasion. Naturally, that was the day I was having a long drawn out procedure done and had to listen while the dr explained things about my very personal anatomy to Hot Med Student. Sigh.

Wow with the 9 days. I think that may answer number 4 for you? I am so sorry!

Radiohead is old and washed up. No need to appreciate them.

Yeah, the doctor’s scales are always off. Trust your own.

Thank you, Sundry, for voicing the same opinion of Radiohead that I’ve had since I first heard them.

I’ve tried to like them…I really have. I’ve tried to be hip and cool like everyone else. But they always get the same reaction out of me when I listen.

“Meh.”

No one has responded to the sleepless nights question. People, we need to know. I, too, am worried about lack of sleep as I’ll be welcoming my firstborn boy in July. Should I try to store up extra sleep? Should it be years’ worth?

My dentist is hot. Like not-of-this-world hot. His names even rhymes with “Dr. VeryHot” I get all sweaty and nervous when he’s anywhere near my open mouth. Man, is this guy ridiculously good-looking. I’d have to change doctors if he was rooting around down in Lady Town.

I have to be in the mood for Radiohead. “OK Computer” reminds me of a very brief, very torrid relationship I had a thousand years ago so it brings back some pretty “OK” memories (don’t tell the Walrus!)

I like to think that all gym/doctor’s office scales are off because so many people are constantly hopping on and off of them and jacking around with their levers and knobs. Our personal scales KNOW US and are thus familiar with our screwing around and are also sensitive to our needs to feel pretty and twee. OMG I could not come across as any more of a lunatic, could I?

Bathroom scales are always right, ALWAYS!

OB appointment could have been worse, it could have been your friends father who was on call for your OB while they were off galavanting in Hawaii, awkward.

just so you know…YES! you will sleep thru the night again. there are a couple of years in between Needy Toddler and Independent Adolescent where you will actually get some sleep.

According to my sister-in-law and mom of 3, you will sleep again…

I used to feel the same way about Radiohead. Then I remembered that they suck. However, they are AWESOME when someone else covers their music.

This is why I chose an OB/GYN practice where all the physicians are 50+ as well as grossly overweight (one also has a noticeable mustache). This means that no matter what the scale says, I feel superior to everyone else in the room.

Then I go out into the real world again. SIGH.

first off, YOUR scale is right,…9 days with the inlaws….yikes…..am sending you vibes….and yes, I believe you sleep from the time they are ages6-12…..then the teen years decend, and your up waiting for them to come home!!!….and by the way, I am at the age that the drs are people i could have babysat for , …ugh!!!….

I went to a hypno-therapist at one point (for weight loss. Wheeeeew…did you SEE that $250 pointlessly fly out of my wallet???) Anyway – I took away one good thing from the experience…she said we obsess too much about what “The number” is. Before you could step on the scale, she threw it off by 10 or 15 lbs – I could never see what she changed it by. Each week, she would only tell me the change, not the weight. In other words, who gives a flip what the doc’s scale says vs. your scale. It’s an irrelevant number. If your scale (and your jeans) say you lost weight, you did!

My OB/GYN retired on me and I hated it ’cause he was the best doc ever and I’d been with him for 20 years. He was replaced by a young fella who is at least 15 years younger than me. I don’t mind a bit because I want somebody that’s gonna be around for awhile. If somebody’s messing around down there, I want to know him!

Yes, you’ll get sleep one day soon, and then you won’t once the boys get into their teens…..and beyond. I’ve lost more sleep over my 32 year old than I care to admit. Sigh.

My Very First GYN appointment was with a doctor that I also happened to babysit for. Niiiiiice (and I had no other choice in the small town). I still feel the humiliation 20+ years later.

Sleep? Yes. You really will sleep again. I have to pry my teenagers out of bed around 11am on weekends, holidays and summer. Naps (for the adults) return as well.

When does this happen? Uh…not soon enough.

When I weigh at the Doctor’s office i always remind myself that about a million people have stepped on and off that scale before me, how could it be right?
No matter the weight, any scale will measure the loss. I splurged and bought a doctor’s scale so I won’t do the mind fuck game every time I get on the damn thing. I bow too readily to the scale gods.
A full night’s sleep is coming, I see it in your future, I promise.

PS- You and the boys can come stay with me in Florida, I have three boys already so what’s 2 more? As an added incentive, I have a pool!!

Well, as you probably saw, mine was not of high school age, but he did lean against me inappropriately, send me out of there with a BBT chart, tell me that everyone’s infertility is due to charting error and insist on doing a pelvic exam despite the fact that my ladybits were in their lunar season, if you know what I mean.

After that experience, I’d take a twelve-year-old as long as he was only slightly competent and not entirely creepy.

Unrelated, you will totally sleep again. I know you know this, but you totally will. You know for a fact that this ends! It totally ends!I know that doesn’t help and you might want to punch me right now, but it’s true.

(Talk me off the ledge the same way when I’m sleepless and be-newborned, would you?)

Holy crap, while I totally feel your pain, the meek “hold me” at the end of number 2 made me snort out loud.
If that much time with the in-laws intimidates you, perhaps might be the time to call up that long-lost college roommate/friend/etc. who hasn’t been DYING to meet your baby and ask him/her what he/she is doing come April? Just a thought.
As for radiohead, I didn’t like them until 10 years after they were popular, and then got bored with them after 2 years. As some one else said, you have to be in a “mood,” perhaps a depressed, black-eyeliner-wearing, studded-collar, the-whole-world-is-out-to-get-me, teenager kind of mood. Maybe.

um, that would be “who HAS been DYING to meet your baby.”

There is an OB/GYN in town who is known as a “Dr. Hot” and a number of my friends went to HS with him and yet he has delivered all of their babies. And they get all gussied up for the pelvic exams. I’ve known some have taken a full day off work to hit the salon before their annual. (he also happens to be married with 4 kids) And they are floored when I say EEEWWWWWWW!

9 days with a toddler, an infant and your in-laws? Sounds like JB gets the next 4 years of poopie diapers all to himself!

As for the sleep – as soon as you start to think you can survive on 2-3 hour sleep stints he’ll start sleeping longer. And you’ll be so used to waking up you’ll startle yourself awake every 2 hours wondering what is wrong with the baby. New mama sleep – she’s a cruel mistress.

Hey, I have to weigh in here (no pun intended toward #5) FOR Radiohead. I will admit that a LOT of their stuff is very um…Radiohead-fan-specific, but some of it has broad appeal. Jennifer mentioned “Ok, Computer” — good album. I like lots of songs on it. My problem is that the only song that everyone knows by them is “Creep.” It is a good song, but not BY FAR their best. “Fake Plastic Trees” is great, “You Do It to Yourself” is another good one, old school Radiohead, and “High and Dry.” And also in their defense you have to love any band that puts out an album titled “Hail to The Thief.” (Sorry, HATE the Shrub.)

As for #5, doctor’s scales are always “heavy” because you are wearing clothes. A few weeks ago I weighed myself with my fave sweatshirt (Jayhawks, GO KU!!) on , and then without, at home on my bathroom scale. It was a 2-3 pound difference. Sheesh! But as others have said, and you yourself have before alluded to, it is how your clothes fit and how you feel/look that is really the best indicator of your weight loss progress. You’re doing great Linda, keep it up!

Do not trust the doctor scales. They are out to fuck with you.

My first gyno appointment was with one of the campus nurses while I was a college student. She seemed nice enough, except she was chatty, and what can I say? I wasn’t very interested in holding a conversation with this woman while she was fingering me. And THEN, after she asks me what classes I’m taking, she tells me that she is my physics professor’s wife! ACK! I could barely look him in the eye after that.

And, as I am currently pregnant with my first, my fingers are crossed that you get to sleep through the night again, and that someday I will too.

I knew I had found my new Ladyparts Doctor when, after a highly professional and not painful exam, she inquired, “Where did you get those earrings? And I love your shoes.”

Doctor’s scales suck. No sleep sucks too. Inlaws for 9 days suck only because the kids will be so spoiled you won’t be able to stand them.
My doc is totally hot too, so I tell him ok wait, let me go to the happy place, and then I think of the beach, and tell him to go ahead. He laughs his ass off everytime. And he’s quick so that’s cool, and I love his nurse.

My doc’s scale is off by about 10 pounds. One time I said something like, “Gee, are you sure that scale is right?” And the snippy nurse said, “Well we have it calibrated once a month.”

So I’ve just assumed that in her vocabulary “calibrate” means “set start point at 10 instead of 0”.

I’m with you on the anise and the Radiohead. I’ve tried so hard to like them, but one makes me gag and the other kind of bores me.

1. Your OBGYN will continue to get younger
2. My father is coming to visit. We can hold each other
3. You can appreciate any kind of music you want
4. Yes, Virginia, there is a full nights sleep on the horizon. And when they are finally old enough for you to not have to see to their every needs, you will stay up all night waiting for them to come home
5. Stick with whatever damn scale you like as long as it’s the SAME scale every time.

Everyone knows that stress caused by things such as pelvic exams causes you to retain water and can increase your weight by up to 10 lbs. Everyone. Even a normal visit can impact your weight by like 5 lbs. It’s like that kind of temporary hypertension that’s caused by being afraid of your doctor.

I’m 100% with you on both the Radiohead and the anise. Meh.

I also do not appreciate Radiohead, except for the song “Karma Police.” Nor have I appreciated Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Audioslave, Alice in Chains, Death Cab for Cutie, or (dare I say it) Nirvana.

I dislike a lot more Seattle bands than I like, that’s all I can say. And I’m from here too.

SLEEP — Yes, it will happen again. What you are starting to realize, painfully, is how delicious, how satisfying those full nights will be. Lovely lovely lovely. I promise.

IN-LAWs — here’s my vote. Exploit the situation! As much baby-rocking, story-reading, shopping with Grandma as possible…. while you, the bearer of two wonderful grandsons, takes the opportunity to dash off for a pedicure or a sleep. And what are they going to do? hee hee….

LOL…I don’t know why I find it hilarious (especially since I’ll be in the same boat later this year) that you said “the children and I.” So colonial, or something. It sounds DELIGHTFUL.

My doc goes to the same church and I see him every Sunday morning.

Who is Radiohead?

9 days with the in-laws? I feel ya. Every summer, I go on vacation with mine. All 50-60 of them. The good thing is that you have cute kids that everyone will fawn over so you can take a walk or read or go to the bathroom or eat a donut in peace for a change.

I can answer #4 for you as I have two children (who are THANKFULLY 7 and almost 4). The short answer is NO. You will never sleep the way you used to pre-kids. But YES, eventually (and my second didn’t sleep through the night until she was 18 months old and now that she’s in a big bed spends most of the night in MINE) you will sleep soundly for large chunks of time but it will never be as much as you want or need. Eventually, they will sleep better as they age. If you don’t kill them first.

“Just relax your knees….”

So I guess the duct tape swaddle didn’t work last night?

Yes, you will sleep again. Because if you don’t, that means I won’t, and there’s just not enough alcohol in the world to get me through wrapping my head around that thought.

That is like the most uncomfortable place. Hi I’m Shannon’s mom http://wilddreemer.blogspot.com/. I remember my old doctor had this picture on the ceiling of Tom Selleck from the old series Magnum, p.i. So when you laid back you were staring at him. I asked him why it was up there and he said it saved him on KY jelly because it makes the girls wet. He was a good looking funny old man I think that is the best kind to have.

Oh, and the trip to the in-laws? I suggest you take your own toilet paper (I don’t care if your trunk isn’t big enough for all the kid crap and yours, find a way to smoosh in a few rolls).

But then, think of this: you can tell them when you’re exhausted that you just need an hour nap. Dylan was up a lot during the night and the sleep deprivation is about to knock you over. It may be the only guilt-free nap you get for a long time.

Sick a full gallon of milk on your scale – it should read 8 pounds. Or a 5 pound bag of sugar – that is how I make sure I know what my scale actually reads.

But I feel your pain! We don’t own a scale (for the obvious reasons that I’d never stop obsessing over it) and I use my sister-in-laws or my parents whenever we’re at one of their houses and they’re both clearly different and it makes me want to cry each time I step on one of them….

Holy crap, what’s with the Radiohead hate! They are fantastic, never boring, and I certainly don’t wear eyeliner (maybe you’re thinking of The Cure, clarabella?).

What have you listened to by them? I’d be happy to suggest a playlist of 12 or so songs that may or may not change your mind about them. I think some of their B-sides do more for non-fans, than their singles do. Oh well, just sayin’!

Just had to pipe in that Kid A is one of my all time favorite albums!! It’s is oddly beautiful. Really, give it a listen!

And your “Hold me” comment was priceless ;-)

9 days????? You poor thing!

dude, my gyno is so old, not only am i afraid he cant even see what he is looking at but im afraid he might die with one hand up there.

thats a crime scene i don’t want filmed, thankyouverymuch David Caruso.