God, it’s always so horrible when something like that happens. The guilt is horrendous, and you’re right, that word doesn’t cover it. But it’s true. It happens. And Dylan is fine, no major damage done.

You’re still a great mom!

When Gabe was around 1 1/2 or so, I was gating him in his room and smashed his fingers between the gate and the door frame. It took me a second to realize what had happened, and he started screaming in pain and looking at me like, “What the hell is WRONG with you, woman?” I thought for sure I had broken his hand, it was all swollen and purple. But, he was fine. Pretty miffed with me, be he forgave me pretty quick. Took a while for me to forgive myself, though. God, I felt like such a shit.

You remembered to strap him into the stroller and that, my dear, counts for something!

I have three young boys and two of them have both had broken bones (we’re convinced the third one will be our stich child). Each time a bone was broken we didn’t “diagnose” it right away…I mean it’s not like they fell off the swing set or anything! I was that crying mama in the ER racked with guilt when the Dr. told me that yes, there was a break and a cast would be required. One time, the bone had actually started to already heal (in my defense…if you saw little man using that wrist to do all things little manish, you would have never guessed either!).

I have learned that as a mom to boys, shit happens. And while I still take in one of those deep cringing inhales as I see them trying to swing from tree to tree, I remind myself that such is life. But always know where the closest ER is!

A friend of mine was feeding her 6 month old daughter, who was strapped into her bouncy seat which was sitting on top of the counter. (I’m sure you can see where this is going.) She unstrapped just one leg to get Gracie out of her seat, then turned to put the messy dishes in the sink and when she turned around, she watched her daughter tumble out of the seat and onto the counter, then over the counter edge to the floor. It happened so fast that she only just got her hands out to catch the girl as she was falling and just missed her. The baby broke her leg.

I’ll tell you the same thing I told my friend. It is impossible for us parents to watch our kids every single second of every single day, and that doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or that you love your children any less. We try to watch them closely, but we are fallible and human, and you wouldn’t have turned your back if you didn’t think Dylan was safe and sound in his stroller. It was an accident. They happen. In fact, I think a childhood without minor accidents is a detriment to the kid. Through accidents that result in bumps and bruises and maybe a little scrape and a little blood, they learn how to handle themselves when bad things happen.

That’s also not to say that I haven’t cried when something bad happens to my kids. My (now 4 year old) son was ten months old when he bit a tiny piece off of a foam football and then promptly sucked it into his throat. I saw him chewing on something but I wasn’t fast enough to get it out before he started to choke. He wasn’t breathing. All I could do was scream his name. My sister in law grabbed him and swiped her finger into his mouth, pulling out the foam with her fingernail. She reacted. I stood there helpless. Thank God she was there. Thank God. I was a total mess for the rest of the day. The worst part is that I saw it all happen. So sometimes even when you’re watching, bad things can happen. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing your best and you love them. That’s what matters.

Try not to beat yourself up too much. Though I know how you feel. My husband and I were out to dinner with friends one night with our infant son. The restaurant used one of those standard wooden highchairs turned upside down for us to place the car seat on. The adults had split into husbands at one end of the table and wives at the other end. I was at the opposite end from my baby, but he was right next to my husband and he had his hand on the highchair. As the server started bringing food out, my husband momentarily took his had off to arrange his plates. In that split second the server bumped the upturned and highly unstable highchair sending our tiny sleeping baby face first onto the floor. My husband acted quickly, scooping him up, even pushing the horrified server out of the way, while I stood frozen at the other end of the table with hands clamped over my mouth and eyes wide. Our baby cried and cried, and had a small bump on his noggin. After a few seconds I ran over and cradled him to my chest. Didn’t let go of him the rest of the night. But actually, if it had to happen, it couldn’t have happened in a better way. It was a graceful fall, and his blanket acted as a cushion, protecting him from the sharp foot of the table. Still. It STILL breaks my heart thinking of his little helpless body face down on the floor. The restaurant at least comped all our meals and drinks and pledged to stop using upturned highchairs in which to place infant car seats.

This is where my parents would’ve deployed the “Silent Cry” scale – the longer the silent cry, the worse the booboo. If we started up with the howling right away, we were mostly scared, not so much with the hurt. If there was a long, terrible, silent cry before any noise came out, we were definitely leaning toward the hurt side.
I think they developed this to sort of mitigate that parental guilt, and gauge the injury without that rush of “ohmygodohmygodhe’sdeadordyingIamtheworstparentever!” I think overall it helped.

I’m so glad he’s OK.

One time I took my 3-month-old daughter to the grocery store. She was in her infant carseat and I put her in the cart, you know, the way you do, but these carts were funky and the latch didn’t lock in to the back of the seat like it was supposed to. No biggie, I thought, I’ll just be extra super careful. She was sleeping peacefully the whole time.

On the way back to the car, I pushed the stroller over one of those drainage gates in the middle of the parking lot, and BAM, the carseat flipped backwards and landed upside down in the back of the cart.

My daughter was fine, and actually barely stirred, but I was shaking so badly I had to sit in the car and collect myself for a bit before I could drive.

So while there was no blood or scrapes, I know that feeling of OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY CHILD and it is pretty much the worst feeling ever.

I’m so sorry! The only thing I can tell you is that every mom I know has at least one story of something like this where a brief lapse in judgement led to a minor injury. It seems like it serves a purpose…to keep us on our toes before something really serious happens. Live and learn, but don’t beat yourself up about it too much. We’ve all been there.

It’s brave of you to share this story and will probably serve as a reminder to all mother’s who might innocently do the same thing. I don’t think you’re a terrible mother, things happen that we regret, however those accidents don’t make us terrible. I’m glad Dylan is ok and perhaps Riley learned a good lesson too, although I’m not trying to place blame on Riley either, certainly not so please don’t take it that way. Brave brave girl to share….and you might save someone else the same accident because of your bravery.

I had a few close calls with my son when he was a toddler, he’s about to turn 16. We live, we learn and life keeps moving on….

Oh no! I hope all scrapes – both physical and existential – mend soon.

Um, I once landed my brother in the emergency room by pushing him into the heater. My punishment was to watch the doctors put stitches in his forehead. There. I said it.

Oh man. I have about nine hundred “I let the baby fall off the bed” stories and then the “I let the baby get stung by a bee and didn’t realize what had happened and told him to STOP WHINING”, all of which about killed me at the time. There is just no feeling worse than the instant you realize that your baby is hurt. Those moments when it happens occur in a freeze frame of horribleness unlike anything else in the world. I am so sorry.
Honestly though what KILLED me was Riley bent over the stroller trying to help. Just…there are no words. He’s a good kid, your son. Hugs to you all.

Oh God, when my son had his first little injury, my fault of course, it was so traumatic; I remember sobbing uncontrolably, probably more tears from me than him, and feeling like the worst mom in the world. What parent hasn’t had a similar experience? It’s a wonder any of us survive childhood.

I just saw your tweet (really, tweet? is that what we’re supposed to call it?) on Regina Spektor’s beautiful, heartbreaking song Us. I put that one on repeat a lot, too. Top 10 desert island songs, for sure.

Lord, this stories are giving me the heaving vapors. I have a baby about Dylan’s age and so far there have been no major accidents. But my husband and I have a bit of gallows humor about it because we know these things happen and no one wants to be the first to break the baby.

I am so sorry you, JB and Riley had a scare. And poor Dylan. But it sounds like everyone is fine.

This summer my one year old daughter was riding in our stroller, with me pushing. I didn’t know she had stood up and I severly swerved the stroller through a crowded building and she FLEW OUT and hit the concrete floor, head first. I can still hear her head hitting the floor, then bouncing. We got ice, tried to calm her down, and decided to take her to the first aid station (we were at the county fair) and they called an ambulance. THIS IS A SMALL TOWN, so the people that didn’t see me launch her out of her stroller DID see us climbing into the back of an ambulance.

I think the word I used was SICKENED. I KNOW accidents happen and that I surely didn’t intent to hurt my child (but I could have buckled her in…). BUT just the thought of even being involved in an accident that involved her getting a serious injury. SICKENED.

At the hospital they did xrays and glued her ear where it ripped, and she was pronounced fine.

I can still hear the sound of her head hitting the concrete.

I am so, so sorry. But I know from experience (stairs, baby, fall, concrete floor) that someday, this will be one of those family jokes that get repeated at every holiday. “Remember that time Mommy dropped you down the steps?”

Just wanted to say what everyone else has said…it was an innocent accident and we all have these things happen. Trust me. My little 6 month old has already fallen off the bed and off a chair…and left me feeling like a goddamn fool and horrible mother. I try to let these accidents jolt me into being a little more careful with her (she’s my second kidlet and I’ve seemed to get a little lax!) You are a wonderful mother. Don’t beat yourself up. Dylan has already forgotten ;-)xoxoxoxox

The mom guilt is the worst feeling in the world. It is part of our nature to protect our children and when they get hurt there is nothing more horrible. My daughter fell off of our bed when she was several months old. When our son came along I swore he would never fall off the bed because I was so upset from the first time. He has now fallen off of beds FOUR times. The last time was the worst. My husband and I were in the middle of moving and putting some last minute boxes in the garage late at night. The kids had fallen asleep in the car so we carried them in and put them on the beds (the crib was not yet put together) and went outside to move after putting up tons of pillows to barricade. Awhile later I thought I heard a cry and went inside and there was my son screaming on the floor by the front door. He had fallen off of our very high bed and then dragged himself (he couldn’t yet crawl) all the way through the dark house for who knows how long. I cried, held him, and felt like the crappiest parent ever. He had ALREADY fallen off the bed and I left him on it again? It seemed like grounds for the government to take him away from me or something.

Man that sucks. Really though, you left your stroller on a level surface like you’ve probably done a thousand times before and nothing happened. I’m glad Dylan was ok, that must have been the scariest few seconds of your life.

If it makes you feel any better, we missed a horrible ear infection last week and were pissed off at my poor toddler for being screamy-tantrum-ahole boy all week when it was all due to the ear infection.

You are an awesome mom period. Shit happens. You have 2 boys, more shit is gonna happen and you will still be an awesome mom.
Now for a bad mom story. I work in a hospital and was on our post-partum floor when a woman and 2 young boys came up to the nurse’s station asking for some ice. It would seem that smallest boy slammed bigger boys hand in the car door down in the parking lot. We looked at the hand and it was already swollen and bruising and told mom that she should go downstairs to the ER and have this checked. She didn’t want to take the time because she was there to visit someone who’d just had a baby and that was more important than this little boy with the smashed hand. She just wanted some ice thanks. What a bitch. 8 nurses were telling her to go to the ER pronto and she had better things to do.

IT’S OKAY! Parents mess up, shit happens, your babies know you love them.

I don’t have any stories to tell to make you feel better (because I don’t have kids), but I’m glad that Dylan is okay and I hope you don’t beat yourself up too badly. Like everyone else said, it was an accident and he’ll never remember it.

This is why babies are still mostly cartilage (thank GOD). It’s actually parents that can be the fragile ones!

Glad everything’s ok.

Don’t beat yourself up – I fell out of the sink during my bath when I was a baby and landed head first on the floor. I’m still alive today. Oh, and if your husband even looks at you or comments to you in any other way but empathetic and supportive, you can slam HIS head into the pavement (LOL!)

I once fell asleep on the couch nursing my 2 month old. She must have also fallen asleep because she rolled off my lap and fell onto the floor. I didn’t wake up until she hit the floor. The only person I ever told was my husband. She was fine, just scared but I still feel like a huge piece of shit whenever I think of it. So glad to hear Dylan’s ok.

There was supposed to be Riley and… in that sentence up there.

Oh sweet heart, we’ve all been there. In one form or another. I’ve done so many stupid things. Acidently locked my first boy in the car outside my parents house on a too warm fall day. I let him crawl off my grandmothers really high bed onto the hard wood floor because I wanted something from the other room and went I left him he was playing with a toy not crawling. When my youngest was about your sons age he was sitting strapped in in a little red wagon with seats with his brother, we were going down a big hill infront of our house and a car was coming so I was trying to get them out of the road, somehow managed to turn the wagon too quickly and it flipped over and drug his face on the black top. Oh yeah, and then there was the time my youngest ran with a glass and fell, breaking it and cutting his hand. I know the guilt, we all make mistakes and they’ll be 1000’s of them before they are grown. Good thing kids are resiliant.

oh sweetie! I am so very sorry this happened, but don’t beat yourself up TOO much. Live and learn. I could tell you a few stories about thoughtless mistakes I have made that resulted in my children getting minor injuries…just like every other mom. Hang in there, and as we say in our house, no permanent damage.

Been there, done that, burned the blood-soaked t-shirt *sigh* Linda, I hear ya, I feel ya, I’m with ya. Good thing kids come pretty well-built :) *HUGS*

Oh my. When my son was 2 weeks old and I was holding him in my arms, he kicked the coffee cup out of my hand. While I did not drop the cup or the baby, some lukewarm coffee spilled on his little chest. Of all the stories I had read, the “never hold a warm beverage over a baby” seemed to escape me. My son was fine, just cried a bit over the incident and of course I felt like the worse mother ever. Also, later that day, I pinched his little skin with those horrible clips when I was strapping him in the Baby Papasan swing. (We have the same swing and my son was addicted to it until he could no longer fit in it).
As you can tell, that was not a good day….the sleep deprivation still is fresh in my memory….even 2 years later :)

Aww, sorry to hear about it. Seriously, though, every parent ever has failed the “keep baby from falling headfirst onto hard surfaces” parenting directive. I distinctly remember one of my sisters getting dropped off the deck steps, and my mom once let one of our friends hold my other sister (probably about a year or so) in the water while we were at the beach. That friend proceeded to drop my sister on her head, in the water, onto the rocks below. My mom still gets panicky when she talks about either of those incidents (and she still talks about them, 20-some years later). And yet, most of us grow up all in one piece and with minimal brain damage nonetheless. :)

I’m so sorry that happened. I’m glad these stories are helping you and I hope you can get over the guilt. So here’s my story.

My now 20 month old son fell down the basement stairs when he was about Dylan’s age. My husband (it was his fault) was carrying bags of salt downstairs to the water softener and left the basement door wide open. The baby scooted over to check it out and rolled right down the stairs. And I watched it happened. If I would have gotten there a second sooner I could have grabbed him. He was fine except for a black eye. Luckily the stairs and basement floor are carpeted or it may have been worse.

I still feel terrible about it. But these stories are also helping me and reminding me that it happens to everyone.

I am so glad he’s ok. That is awfully scary and I am sure even moreso to you. Stuff like that happens to every one of us. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Heh heh, don’t sweat it Sundry, the baby is all good. That’s why nature designed them squishy, so they would bounce well. Look, when my baby brother was three our family was moving from Philly to North Carolina. We were in the middle of loading all our shit up in this U-Haul to drive it all down here and there were a ton of people milling about, and everyone was very busy. Well Paul ended up falling out of the back of the moving truck, which is like four feet, face first onto asphalt. His forehead was all fucked up and bashed and bloody, and he probably got a little concussed because I remember him passing out for a while, but he was fine after a little attention and some treats.

I mean now he’s a drug dealer and a womanizer but I am pretty sure that’s because weed and pussy are awesome and has nothing to do with that particular head injury. Just wait till those little suckers get skateboards, or even better, motorcycles! Now there’s some dangerous shit! Anyway, long story short just don’t shit a brick over it. If that’s the farthest that kid falls before he can walk you’ll be a lucky ass mom. Kids are fuckin’ invincible man.

I so know how you feel! It’s the WORST feeling in the world, but we’ve all been there.

And, simply by telling this story, you’re helping us all to remember how fast things like that can happen. I know I’ll think about it next time I take my 2 y/o and 4 m/o on a walk since I’ve done exactly what you just described many times!

ps – I’m delurking to say I just love your blog. You are hilarious and keep motherhood light and in perspective for me when it becomes so f’ing overwhelming! :)

I haven’t read all the comments yet, but enough to know that several people have similar stories, as do I. My husband and I were out for a walk with our one week old son in our stroller and we had to lift the stroller up and over a low fence made out of a length of chain between posts. We lifted it over and when I stepped over the fence my foot got caught on the chain and I crashed to the ground, but I was hanging on to the stroller and ended up pulling it over. Our so, our precious little ONE WEEK OLD son, hit the ground and hoo-boy did I feel like the world’s worst parent. I cried for a hour and felt like vomiting. One week old and I had already failed at protecting him from harm! That was 2.5 years ago and it feels like yesterday.

So I feel your pain. But Kieran doesn’t remember it happening and Dylan won’t either. Kids are extremely resilient. All that being said, it doesn’t help with the guilty feelings. But please don’t beat yourself up too much. As you said, lesson learned: you’ll now use the lock on the stroller. And I don’t hang on to the stroller when I leap over fences anymore. :)

oh honey! my heart breaks with you! when my son was only about 4 months old i dropped him on his head because i tripped on the curb and he FLEW out of the backpack type carrier i had him in because he was too small, but i didn’t think it mattered THAT much…and i wasn’t sure if i caught him in time because i had gravel imbedded in my hands and i couldn’t feel if i caught him, and i ran back inside crying and crying, terrified i’d smashed his little head in. his dad washed him up, and there was only 1 little scratch, and the rest of it was just dirt and blood from my cut hands, but good GOD! I DROPPED THE BABY!! what mother DROPS THEIR BABY!! add to that the fact that i was only 18 and terrified of being a mother anyway. i know exactly how you’re feeling. and it’s OKAY. there isn’t a mom out there who hasn’t done something accidentally and then felt horrible about it. you are an EXCELLENT mother. i am jealous of you. you have happy, healthy kids. these things happen.

*many hugs*

Oh, sweetie, poor Dylan! Poor you! I promise, you’re not the only one who fails that particular directive — when my son was about eight months old I managed to drop him from our counter, where he was sitting in his carrier seat while I put away groceries, directly onto our tile floor. Horrible, massive, consuming self-loathing followed that incident (after I took care of him, of course), but… you know, accidents do happen. Nobody’s perfect all the time. Besides, you handled the aftermath perfectly, which I think counts for more than never making a single mistake. Knowing how to take care of an injured, upset kid is more important than keeping him in a bubble.

Okay, she wasn’t a baby anymore, probably three or four … But my niece once hit the cement when my brother was pushing her around the driveway on a ROLLING DESK CHAIR. She was fine, so, HEE, BROTHER. But at the time, he freaked out, of course. I would have lost it, too.

You can add that one to the chorus of “You are far from the first (good) parent to fail the DO NOT ALLOW BABY TO SMASH INTO CONCRETE test.”

We all have similar stories. I won’t share mine as there are plenty here already. Just know that I *knew* better and I was still careless; I cried and cried along with my little guy afterwards. We’re human, we make mistakes. Luckily babies have super-hard heads. :o(

It’s OK!
The first blood is always the hardest, I know! He’ll be OK and you’ll be OK and you’ll remember to lock the stroller and it will be as simple as that. Until the next thing happens, which it ultimately will and that will be OK too! We’re all in the same boat here, rowing our guilt around and hoping to do better next time. :)

Just saw your Twitter about the daycare, and I have to say I’d be shocked if they reacted with anything other than understanding and sympathy. They work with lots of kids and so they know, just like your commenters, that accidents happen and the important thing is that everyone is OK.

I’m so sorry that happened Linda.

I feel relieved reading all these accounts of bloodied tiny bodies, but I am disturbed that it is only a matter of time that it will come to my house. To add to these stories, Pete’s sister dumped an entire container of baby powder on his face when he was a few months old while he slept in his crib, not sure how much he aspirated there but they ended up in the ER. And my grandma slammed the car door on my mom’s 3 year old hand to where the door had to be opened to get it out and subsequently broke 2 of her fingers. I have a few more, I think 2 stories is plenty.

When I was younger than Dylan my mom put me in the middle of her bed and was putting away laundry. She happened to look up into the mirrored closet door in time to see me roll off the bed directly onto my head.
My brother stood up in his high chair and fell on his head.
My dad got in a bike accident and my un-helmeted brother (ah, 1980s), strapped into his seat on the back, fell onto his head in the street.
We’re both fine. Well, relatively speaking, I guess. Every parent I know has some crazy story where they thought they had killed their kid, and I’m sure I’ll have my share as well.
Go hug Dylan for me.

My heart was in my throat the whole time I was reading this. Oh God. So scary. Just one more person saying that we ALL mess up and accidents are going to happen. As my brother in law says, “kids bounce” – but still. I know it’s hard.

I’m sure the daycare folks will be totally understanding and quite sure they’ve seen worse! He will get some extra special lovin’ for sure.

Something like that happens to ALL of us at some point. I’m so glad Dylan is okay!!

When my son was a wobbly 6 or 8 month old, I had him sitting in the front passenger seat of my (parked in the garage, not running) car while I put his car seat in the back. Once I got it secured, I opened the door behind which he was sitting, and he sort of slow-mo, rolled sideways out of door. I reached for him, but he hit the concrete before I could get him. I slowed the fall, but there was a sickening thud as his forehead hit the concrete. UGH!!! I STILL feel horrible for that, and can see it like it was yesterday. He’s almost 8 years old now. He got a gnarly bruise and goose egg, but healed up rather quickly.

When my first born was about 9 months old my husband used to hold her up in the air with one hand under her bottom and balance her that way (much to my dismay). They both thought the game was great fun until one day (in the grocery store) he lost control of her and she plummeted head-first to the floor. I grabbed her and immediately rushed her to the hospital (conveniently located adjacent to the grocery store) for fear that he had busted her scull…thankfully she was just fine.

My second born was 4 years old when I shut (and locked) the car door on her little hand. When I saw what I had done and heard her scream I panicked (and for the life of me) and could not get the door opened fast enough. I felt so, so bad and like an awful mommy afterward. Thankfully little ones bones are not as brittle as ours and her little hand was just fine albeit a bit bruised.

The moral to my story is this: both of my children are teenagers now and have absolutely no recollection of either of these events and laugh when we tell them these stories. So, not to worry, Linda. Someday you will relay this story to Dylan and he and Riley will laugh about it.

My dad actually did something very similar to me. My parents were on a walk and I was in a stroller and my dad did not have me strapped in cause as he said “where is he gonna go?” So he went down over a curb and out of the stroller I feel face first onto the street!

but if it helps at all…..I turned out just fine!! HAHA

Two things–a bad parent is one who quit smoking pot once he crossed the state line on his way to visit his 29 day old son, drops the 29 day old child while handing him to the child’s mama to nurse around midnight thereby banging the child’s head on the crib and the hardwood floors, and then leaves the child’s mother to deal with the child by herself all night. Thankfully, my nephew was not harmed by the skull fracture and brain bleed one bit and we were able to ensure that his visits with his male sperm donor are predicated on clean drug tests and are supervised.

My mom (who is not a bad parent at all) slammed my hand in the car door, ignored my cries all the way to our friends’ house and only discovered the error of her ways when we arrived. I’m fine. She’s still not (30 years later).

Glad everyone at your house is fine!

My dad’s friend fell off a table DIRECTLY ONTO HIS HEAD–and at the doctor’s, no less. (Obviously when he was a baby, otherwise this wouldn’t really be pertinent). Also, I came out of the bathroom a few months ago just in time to see my 5-month old pull the wrought iron fireplaces tools down on top of himself. Another friend bashed his son into the wall while winding up to throw him on the bed. We ALL do it. You’re a great mother, and Dylan is fine.

Falls and spills happen. My nephew spent an entire summer with a HUGE scrape from forehead, down the nose, all the way to the chin from taking a header down the slide. My daughter knocked out a dresser drawer full of clothes last night on the top of her foot and almost broke it. (that was her fault though. she’s 10 years old, 5’2″, and KNOWS not to dance to the Jonas Brothers on top of her bedroom furniture) Anywhoo… I was playing catch up with your entries today and honestly, the Fabulousness of Riley LICKING his cake (and your awesome parenting allowing him to do so) far, far outweigh poor little Dylan’s injury. Trust, Dylan won’t remember that, but Riley will totally brag to friends about that cake photo forevah!

Don’t be so hard on yourself. When my oldest (Ben) was a baby I turned my back for a few seconds while the front door was open. Remember those dangerous walkers? Ben went right out the door, head-over-heels, down the front steps. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that horrible. He was fine. I was not. My neighbors comforted me by assuring me that things like this happen to the best of parents. They were right. Trust me.