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Archives from 2002-2006

I have another long weekend of solo parenting ahead of me, JB left this afternoon for his brother’s multi-day bachelor party in Bend. I’m not particularly envious of the hairy-backed aspect of this excursion, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m fairly roiling with jealousy over the notion of a no-kids visit to one of my very favorite places ever. If they don’t get snowed in (which: hee. Seven dudes housebound in a vacation rental in Sunriver, Oregon — why, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen THAT movie on pay-per-view! What was it called, something like “Secret Santa Sausage Gift Exchange”? ) they’ll be skiing, maybe just hanging out at the Deschutes Brewery and bullshitting, not changing diapers or staggering out of bed at 2:30 AM to deal with a fussy baby or watching Curious George for the eleventy zillionth time or, well, YOU GET IT.

Not that I’m resentfully filing every single one of my husband’s trips away from home in the back of my mind or anything, ha ha ha haaaaa, but just as a little comparison, the one and only trip I have planned for ALL of 2009 involves standing for ninety hours a day in a booth at the Macworld Expo in January and smiling robotically at creepy bearded men in Australian dusters sporting Bluetooth headsets. LAME.

I have an unexpected little windfall of money coming in soon, and while most of it will get immediately dumped into savings (and some for charity), I’ve been dreamily pondering what to do with the slice I want to keep for myself. My fantasies have been bouncing between:

• A new fancypants camera, an upgrade from my D70

• Some new clothes, like not Old Navy shit for once

• Just keeping some cash at the ready for the miscellaneous things I like but can’t always afford: salon visits, Amazon purchases, etc

But maybe a mini vacation-just-for-me would be a better investment. I’d like to go somewhere with my mom and aunt, I’d like to drive up and visit Kristin, I lust after the idea of a spa weekend.

What do you guys think? If you could spend a little money just for you, what would you spend it on?

PS: Lest you think I am trying to RUN AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN, well, DOY, but also, hot damn they are getting to be awesome individually AND collectively:

Was I just going on and on about how great it is to be the parent of two small children? Well, that was obviously before this morning’s trip to story hour at our local library, where in a room full of bright-eyed, attentive toddlers my kids were the only ones 1) refusing to sit or pay attention (Riley), 2) rapidly gnawing into a book like a damn beaver then dramatically choking on the paper pulp (Dylan), 3) doing this annoying bent-at-the-waist whining pose where the arms dangle to the ground and the head tilts upward to more effectively release an ear-sawing “ehhhh” sound (Riley), 4) thrashing and howling and fishflopping (Dylan), and 5) refusing to respond to my increasingly irritated hissings of COME HERE, requiring me to deploy the Maternal Eagle Claw of Doom and get everyone the HELL out of Dodge (Riley, Dylan, whatever your name is, I brought you into this world and I’ll take you out).

Plus, as we were leaving, the sweetest elderly man (wearing military pins on his hat, no less) tried to say hello to Riley, who responded with, get this, “NO”. In less indulgent cultures this rude-ass behavior surely would have resulted in a swift public caning, but I had to make do with some apologetic murmurings to the gentleman and a Death Stare at Riley along with some whispered reminders about politeness and manners and a little place called Singapore.

Is there anything quite as maddening as taking kids to something you don’t particularly want to do — I can read my own books, thank you very much, and I totally already knew ice cream was made with milk — and having the entire outing go tits up? It makes me feel like that guy from Clerks: “I wasn’t even supposed to BE here today!”

We came home and both kids instantly dropped the feral-dingo act and sat around being all adorable and playing with a toy rocket together. So my lesson for the day is this: do not expose children to fresh air or wholesome, educational events. Which, fine. I didn’t want to change out of my yoga pants anyway.

In Elsewhere Blogging:

• I have a post up at Lemondrop, where an unseen editor changed “tiramisu” to “tira misu”, removed the phrase “rubs his beard stubble on my naked torso” (in reference to a Clive Owen fantasy), but mysteriously did not balk at “spraying pee all over the place”.

• I have posted some seriously cringeworthy before-and-after weight loss pictures on Bodies in Motivation.

I’m trying to update Bodies in Motivation at least every weekday with new articles, and there’s some cool stuff on there — like Shawna’s story of becoming a fitness instructor, Julia’s advice for stocking your kitchen, Marivic’s weight loss and goals, Kristin’s Fat Skinny blog, and more. I’ll be adding new bloggers soon, and featuring some really inspiring stories, so come by and say hi.

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