On the way down to Eugene we dosed Dylan with some children’s Benadryl — actually semi-called for, since he’s been passing a miserable cold back and forth with Riley and JB for two weeks straight — and he was gratifyingly mellow during the entire trip, leading me to assume the same trick would work its magic today. Not so, unfortunately, and after a long cranky drive home and an interminable afternoon topped off by a massive Gag-Reflex-Related-Crib-Barf, I am very much ready for this whole entire day to be over with and am crossing my fingers that everyone’s well enough to get shipped off to school tomorrow, because DANGER DANGER PARENTING RESERVES ON EMPTY PULL UP PULL UP.

It was a good weekend, if occasionally hectic as a result of being away from the comforts of home and dealing with two sick kids. JB’s brother’s wedding could not have been more perfect: a short, sweet ceremony followed by a spectacular party that raged into the night at the bride’s father’s restaurant. Thanks to our babysitters, we were able to enjoy all the wedding festivities, and even though JB’s voice disappeared almost completely hours before he had to give the toast, a microphone and a few Godfather jokes got him by. He was amazing, as I suspected he would be, and his ability to deliver a heartfelt, hilarious speech in front of a giant crowd of people should be formally added to his list of enviable talents (next to: “Can leap like a motherfucking gazelle”, “Is able to write names in snow with urine”, etc).

The wedding location:
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JB and his brother before the ceremony:
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Me, awkwardly trying to show you my outfit:
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Us:
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Joe’s unique best man gift to JB, whose name is not, you know, actually JB:
3230680538_9a63f54180.jpg

The hard thing about being one of the only non-drinkers at an open-bar wedding is that your inhibitions remain at their normal levels throughout the evening and thus you have to do some Positive Life Coaching exercises to stop worrying about what a jackass you will look like on the dance floor. The nice part, though, is that the story that gets passed around the next day about the person who got so shitfaced they couldn’t remember where their hotel was and loudly insisted on being driven to a gay bar in order to spend the night? Has nothing to do with YOU.

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Kathryn
Kathryn
13 years ago

Stunning. You AND the location. Seriously, I have wedding locale envy.

And what is the gift? I can’t tell and feel kind of dumb.

Meagan
13 years ago

My dad continued tending bar for about five years after he quit drinking! Strangely, he says hanging out at the bar after work lost a lot of its appeal after that. :)

Glad you had fun, even if the kids were sick. Hope they, and you, recover soon.

Jenny
Jenny
13 years ago

I LOVE that dress. And you look spectacular in it. JB looks nice, too, but a suit is a suit.

nonsoccermom
13 years ago

You guys look great, and that looks like a fabulous place for a wedding! How fun. Glad things worked out with the babysitters too, especially since the boys are sick.

And I hope you can send them to daycare tomorrow, because my little one was home sick most of last week and I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

the ex
13 years ago

I can’t tell exactly what the present is but I love the inscription!

serror
serror
13 years ago

Kathryn- I think the gift is a gun clip? I don’t really know but that is my best guess…

What a great dress! You looked awesome as always, Sundry!

Liz
Liz
13 years ago

Jesus Christ, your hair is fantastic.

Victoria
13 years ago

You are so freaking me out with the JB/John thing!

But you look gorgeous!!!

TheGoriWife
13 years ago

Two questions. First, do you cal JB JB, or whatever it was printed on that gift (w. the heck? I thought he WAS JB.) Second, can we at least get the gist of the speech?

Sorry about all the prying.

Jessica
Jessica
13 years ago

The story passed around after our wedding was about the one male guest who woke up in the middle of the night and made a wrong turn into the hallway, thinking it was the bathroom. So he’s running up and down the hall nekkid until his wife figures out what’s happening and opens the door to their room.

Jennifer
Jennifer
13 years ago

Ahhh, the hair, earrings, and pearls look sooo beautiful with the dress.

JB stands for “Johnny Bravo” anyway, right, so of course it’s “John.” Duh!

You forgot to mention JB’s other superpower: the ability to recognize actors’ voices and know what other roles they’ve played. Didn’t you once say that was his superpower? Anyway. The man’s got a lot of powers.

Are any of us (your prying curious readers) going to get to see any photos of the wedding party? I’d love to see what kind of dress the bride picked out!

Jen
Jen
13 years ago

I always knew his name wasn’t actually JB but dude it totally suits him.

Donna
Donna
13 years ago

A magazine? Did he get a new gun too? Very cool, but dude, no bullets?
You guys looked amazing, and so cute together. Were you in the wedding too?
The wedding locale was gorgeous too. JB and his bro look like Riley and Dylan will someday, so much alike.
And I notice that there were no blackmail photos from the bachelorette party….have fun?

Shanee
13 years ago

Um cool. A personalized gun clip! My man would love one of those. Do you know where it came from?? Thanks! P.S. Love the dress!

AndreAnna
13 years ago

Gorgeous location and smokin dress!

Two of the last three weddings I went to I was pregnant for and therefore, no drinking, and wow, what a difference a wedding is through completely sober eyes.

As if it’s not hard enough to get your ass to dance without the haze of a vodka-induced buzz, add in the grace of a three-legged cow during my 9th month of pregnancy and you get…well, you get something I’m lucky 90% of wedding-goers were hopefully too drunk to remember.

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
13 years ago

Wow, an engraved magazine, that brought a tear to my eye.

Glad you’re back! You looked lovely.

danielle
danielle
13 years ago

Was the gun clip wrapped in an Ann Taylor Loft box? Funny stuff!

Randomly, how well does Dylan sleep when you travel? My little one sleeps like crap in the pack and play. She (we) are up every few hours. Makes the thought of a vacation very unappealing.

ashley
13 years ago

Or, they were so drunk they wouldn’t even remember the person who looked like a jackass on the dance floor (a la Elaine on Seinfeld) the next day.

So, is that an engraved magazine??? My husband would shit his pants with joy if he got one of those.

Amy
Amy
13 years ago

That dress is beautiful! You always manage to make any story entertaining. The wedding sounds wonderful. Hope your boys feel better soon. Both mine are just starting a new round of colds – yay…

Kaire
Kaire
13 years ago

you look like a pin up model … gorgeous & very classy! Eh, the thing about being the sober person when every one is shitfaced is that they don’t remember anything, let alone how dorky you could be at any given time.

Hillary
13 years ago

I love that color on you. Gorgeous.

Shutter Bitch
13 years ago

You look beautiful! And that location is very classy! That would have been a fun wedding to shoot. Also, I have camera envy.

Joanne
13 years ago

AND you feel so much better the next day than the drunkards.

diane
diane
13 years ago

Wow, you looked stunning..hair, makeup and dress fantastic!
What a beautiful location.

Here’s hoping the kids are well enough for daycare!

Marie Green
13 years ago

Well, TWO funny and heartfelt people in the same household- how did you manage that? Funny/heartfelt is probably one of my favorite combinations in a personality…

The wedding looks beautiful, you look beautiful in that dress! And your hair is amazing too! Your pictures are alway just perfect, and I’m jealous of that, to be honest. I’m doing that (basterdly) picture-a-day this year, and DAMN if I don’t suck.

Also: re your twitter- I recently had the experience of shopping in Hollister for the first time (for my niece) and if you want another experience to feel OLD, I’d highly reccommend it. The place was picth black, with spot lights on barely-dressed mannequins, the music was BLARING, and insanely beautiful teenagers were shouting to me- over the blaring music- CAN I HELP YOU? Then I picked up a simple hoodie and it was $98. That was when I turned into my own mother circa Guess jeans.

Ok! Nice talk!

Amy M.
Amy M.
13 years ago

You guys look gorgeous!

And how do you get your bangs to stay so nicely side-swept? Mine always end up hanging in my face so I feel like the girl from “The Ring”.

Hey – I’ve been to a Mormon wedding – talk about everyone needing positive life coaching to get out on the dance floor!

Sarah
13 years ago

What a beautfiul location!! It looks like a great time was had by all!! Too bad your ride home wasn’t as relaxing as the rest of the trip…

Kalisa
13 years ago

Yeah…what IS that gift anyway?

monkeyinasuit
13 years ago

You look beautiful-I’m happy you had a good time and convinced everyone that the kids were best left to a babysitter.

sara
sara
13 years ago

i always thought he was JB for the reals, too. so you don’t really CALL him JB in real life? I feel disappointed, somehow.

Shawna
Shawna
13 years ago

Really? A gun clip? I would never have guessed that and am only assuming it’s correct from the other comments. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one before.

Also, where is the snow?

Mo
Mo
13 years ago

I am Canadian, and have never seen a gun (other than on a policeman), let alone a gun clip. Is this a customary groom’s gift? Really?

And Linda, you ALWAYS look amazing.

warcrygirl
13 years ago

That color looks amazing on you! And are you *ahem* taller than JB in that picture?

Leslie
Leslie
13 years ago

I love that half of us are all, “What’s the gift?” and the other is “Dude! Awesome gun clip!”

Our Bill of Rights at work.

catherine
catherine
13 years ago

what the hell is a gun clip?

Kristen
13 years ago

Hi! I’ve been reading your website for about a month now, but haven’t been able to comment because all things interactive were blocked at work. But last Friday, the internet went down in one of our offices and everyone else has had full access since! Woot!

Anyways, I really love your hair style! It’s beautiful! I have wanted to get my hair cut for a while, but have been too chicken because I am in a wedding in May and didn’t know how they could put it up…but I might just be stealing a.)your hair cut and b.) your up-do. Love them :)

I hope today has been a little less overwhelming for you!

Sundry
Sundry
13 years ago

Catherine: a magazine/clip holds bullets.

Mo: no, that is most assuredly not a customary best man gift, but it’s pretty perfect for these guys.

Laura
13 years ago

Love, love, love your hair and dress! I’m getting married in September and am a little nervous about the fact that I’m getting married and having the reception all in one place (I’ve only been to church and outdoor weddings with some gap between the ceremony and reception). It looks like maybe that’s what Joe did? I hope my location looks half as classy as his!

Amber
13 years ago

I just came across your blog and am loving it!

I understand that feeling when you need your kid to go to school, but fear they may not be able to due to illness / weather / etc. I am having one of those days today, as my mother-in-law was supposed to come for a visit and couldn’t make it. My sanity is hanging by a thread, I tell you.

And you look fabulous. Simply fabulous.

Julie
13 years ago

I have complete hair envy. How did you get your bangs to do that? Mine just laugh at me and fall in my face when I even think of a style like that. Simply fantastic.

steff
steff
13 years ago

I am happily married. I have a thing for man hands and JB has very nice hands!

Yet Another Jenny
13 years ago

You look amazing in that dress!

Amy
Amy
13 years ago

Ok how do you get your hair to do that side-sweepy-thing without just landing in your eyes and sitting across your nose? I must know.

Jennifer
Jennifer
13 years ago

I think you are a super cool woman and I, too, would like to steal your haircut. BUT – I’ll pay you a million dollars to get rid of the tattoo.

Jennifer
Jennifer
13 years ago

Just wanted to clarify that another Jennifer, not me, is dissing the tattoo. Your armband is the coolest thing ever. The only thing that would have been cooler about that dress would have been if people could have seen the dragonfly too!!

Anonymous
Anonymous
13 years ago

Dissing someone’s tattoo is as tactless as dissing anything else about someone’s appearance. “Hey, I will give you a million dollars to get rid of that nose!” is just as horrible as asking someone to get rid of a tattoo, only with the additional level of judgment given that people CHOOSE their own tattoos, based on their OWN PREFERENCE.

Guess whose approval that tattoo was not created for? Anyone but Linda’s.

That said, if one is soliciting feedback about one’s appearance (about weight loss and such), one opens oneself up to feedback about all aspects of their appearance. So there’s that.

serror
serror
13 years ago

Jennifer- Would you prefer a large scar there to replace the tattoo? A cool new larger tat might be awesome, but all and all Linda’s personal choice. Such a bizzarely insensitive comment.

becky
13 years ago

Anonymous: “…one opens oneself up to feedback about all aspects of their appearance.”

I suppose, but I think it is still inappropriate (and I’m not saying you disagree, just making a general point). If I asked my friend to comment on the highlights/haircut I got, I would expect her to answer honestly. But I would NOT expect her to say something like “They’re nice, but you sure are fat!”

Kari
Kari
13 years ago

Fuck the tattoo haters, and this is from a girl who would never get one. It works well for you. It is the ying to your yang, so to speak.

Also, you are sporting ridiculously righteous hair in these pics. Seriously, you know how to style it, and it looks amazing.

hannah
13 years ago

I would gladly take a million dollars to get rid of my tattoo. I would do it for half that, in fact, Jennifer, if the offer is good.