Dylan’s birthday started off on an ominous note with a cough-triggered puking episode — thankfully I had my Barf Radar on high and whisked him into the kitchen and over the sink just in time, having learned from the night before that a baby who coughs in just the right sort of way then looks deeply unhappy and contemplative for a few moments before smacking his lips and starting to whine needs to be picked up and ferried away from all fabric-covered surfaces IMMEDIATELY, like at LIGHT SPEED, instead of standing there like a dumbass staring at him wondering what’s wrong only to figure it out at the last second and in carrying him mid-barf from the room end up with stomach contents (PUREED CARROTS OMG) sprayed not just in one repulsive-but-dealable puddle, but in a long horrendous streak from one end of the carpet to the other and even on the WALL and in the OUTLET COVERS, dear GOD, and by the way if any of you have any tips for getting the stubborn remnants of barf-stain out of a cream-colored carpet I sure would appreciate any advice on that — and he was kind of extra clingy during the day and I thought the festivities might get scrapped in favor of a jaunty trip to the pediatrician’s office, but he rallied by late afternoon and we had a little family party in his honor.

While Riley, JB and I were enjoying Dylan’s cupcakes as the birthday boy contentedly sucked on a bottle, I realized that he’s a little behind the curve in the types of foods he’ll eat. The child has one hell of a gag reflex (see also: coughing, Streak Of Horror, etc), always has, and we’ve learned the hard way that finger foods get sent right back up and onto the highchair tray, if you know what I mean. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, really, but I remember at least offering Riley a cupcake, while I didn’t even consider giving any to Gaggy McHorkerton.

Eh, whatever. It’s not like Riley ate his, either, since he was so freaking SUSPICIOUS of them, despite the fact that I baked them myself — mini carrot cakes with cream cheese frosting! — using heart-shaped cupcake holders for the love of god.

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In comparison, I purchased Dylan’s from Amazon’s grocery service. Oh ho HO yes, store-bought, same-day-ordered, and chock full of unhealthy ingredients. It’s not like I haven’t learned a thing or two in the last few years.

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Man, don’t both kids just look THRILLED on their big day? First birthdays, sheesh. Really, parents should just hire a babysitter and go out on their own to celebrate having survived twelve straight months of INGRATITUDE.

Among the small collection of gifts Dylan received, he got a couple pairs of fleecy snuggly pajamas, which we forced him to model right away:

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These are the exact sort of pajamas that, when Riley sleeps in them, have a pancake-syrup smell to them in the mornings. Dylan’s mostly smell like milk-drool, but Riley’s definitely get this Mrs. Butterworth’s aroma, and when I mentioned the Syrup Phenomenon to JB he was all, what whaaat, bitch you crazy. When I mentioned it on Twitter, however, I heard from like ten people who were all DUDE MY KID’S PAJAMAS SMELL LIKE SYRUP TOO, so that just goes to show that Twitter is more awesomer than husbands, so there.

Lastly! I feel kind of awkward mentioning this since I know most of us are cutting back on spending, but just in case, I signed up for a horrible-sounding event in March where I’m going to try and hike up 69 flights of stairs, like on purpose, what the fuck, and all the fundraising proceeds benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. (The LLS honor patient is Caleb Thorstein, whom you can read a bit about here.) If you’d like to sponsor me (click the “Support Linda” button under the photo), I would be totally honored.

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Janet
Janet
14 years ago

Your leukemia & Lymphona Society page doesn’t have a working donate link – at least not that I can find. Help !

Emily
14 years ago

I work in the building that event is being held in. For a few brief moments one day I thought “I should really do that” and then I realized that I could also stick sharp pointy implements into my eye sockets but that doesn’t mean I should. I will happily sponser you though and will click there in a moment. Good luck!!

Trina
Trina
14 years ago

My daughter doesn’t wear the fleece footy PJ’s anymore but the smelled like syrup when she did. I thought I was crazy. :)

Cari
Cari
14 years ago

I walked two marathons for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in honor of my mother. It is a fantastic organization and they offer well-run events.

I hope Dylan is feeling better. I have nothing to offer on the barfy carpet, sorry; but I do know that baking soda eventually gets the smell out.

Ang
Ang
14 years ago

Ah, nothing better than birthday puke! May I highly recommend Tech Stain Remover (try Ace hardware). It got ground in green sprinkles out of my cream carpet. Don’t be over-zealous though – I dripped it elsewhere, and that spot is REALLY clean. Or faded, I’m not sure.

Lisa
Lisa
14 years ago

Great picture of the PJ modeler! By the way, that syruping thing…I think it’s from their leaky diapers. Never noticed it with my daughter, but with the two boys, different story. They boys just seemed to naturally leak more at night anyhow. But my kids were tummy sleepers so of course the little boy pee would end up in the front, soaking their tummies and crib sheets, etc. After noticing repeated mornings (ok, probably repeated weeks, maybe months) I switched to Huggies Overnight diapers. Not only do we no longer have any obvious overnight leaking but the syrupy smell on their PJ’s…GONE!

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

I don’t have kids yet, but I distinctly remember a purple nightgown from when I was a kid that always smelled like maple syrup! Had to be about 25 years ago. Not footie pajamas, but still. That’s an odd but apparently common phenomenon!

Lisa
Lisa
14 years ago

Oh – and let me add that they didn’t soak through all of the time, but I sort of tied the smell from the soaking nights to the ones where they would wake up dry. So maybe only a little bit leaked out? I dunno… Just a thought. Maybe I’m the crazy bitch?! (Don’t answer that!)

Nikki
Nikki
14 years ago

My kid smells like syrup in the morning, too… and often strawberries. She’s a delicious breakfast treat. :)

Annie
Annie
14 years ago

My little one smells like syrup too… syrup that has two main ingredients: sweat and pee.

mixette
mixette
14 years ago

You look like Chloe Sevigny in the second photo – and I totally mean that as a compliment :)

becky
becky
14 years ago

OMG I am so not crazy now…I thought I was the only one that smelled the “syrup” smell!

Cait
14 years ago

I think every child I’ve encountered in pajamas usually smells like syrup. And, unless I’m going crazy, I can recall my OWN pajamas smelling like that.

jen
jen
14 years ago

Try Spot Shot Carpet and Stain Remover…..works great and has always gotten EVERY stain out of our cream colored carpets!!

All 3 kids PJ’s smelled like syrup–husband never noticed however. Glad I am not the only one who has noticed.

erin
14 years ago

Love the footie pj’s. My girls don’t smell like syrup in the mornings but I do love their just-out-of-bed snuffliness. And try Spot Shot on the stain…it’s gotten out crazy stains for us, usually made by the cats. And dogs. And babies. Maybe it’ll work on the orange stains. It stinks so don’t use too much, but spray it and let it sit for awhile. Then try rubbing the spot. Hope that helps!

Lori O
14 years ago

Ha! Suspicious-of-First-Birthday-Cake is my daughter’s middle name! No crowd-pleasing face-dives into icing heaven. I’ve got evidence of my own here: http://mytwo.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/catching-up-part-ii-skylers-1st-birthday/

If only they knew that someday, cakes would be a sin, and to just enjoy it now while they can and nobody will care how pudgy they are as a result!

Christy
Christy
14 years ago

We made an unfortunate child-proofing mistake when my 5 year old was a toddler which resulted in a huge red wine stain on our cream colored carpet. Oxiclean liquid stain remover sprayed directly on the carpet, a little scrubbing with a wet (white) cloth, and it was gone. Got rid of the wine smell, too. Not sure about puked up carrot.

ML
ML
14 years ago

I second the Oxyclean – magic.

I always thought the syrupy smell was from the footies in the pj’s. Not sure why but somehow that seemed to make it?

The fifty bajllion steps you are climbing? So cool!

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

Oh the maple syrup pjs! So true!

Also, my son could not eat a damn thing either without horking. He used to live on yogurt, but it had to be the smooth kind, if there was the tiniest piece of fruit in there he would choke and puke.

Happy B-day again little D!

Crystal
14 years ago

First, I tried to donate and it kept erroring out after I put in my credit card number. I tried three times and I couldnt get it to go through.

Second, I noticed my son would smell that syrup-sorta-smell when he would have a little pee accident in the middle of the night, not wake up, and sleep in it. (Ok, how gross is that?) When the accidents stopped, the syrup smell did too. Weird, huh?

Caitlin
Caitlin
14 years ago

Get that baby a piano! Look at those fingies!

Jen - Mom of 4
Jen - Mom of 4
14 years ago

I can’t believe Dylan is one already! So damn cute!

After 4 kids, two of which were also gaggers, I now use Zep spray rug cleaner. Works Wonders! I get mine at Home Depot. Good luck!

victoria
victoria
14 years ago

Re: HAIRMERGENCY: Yes! Kerastase leave-in conditioner. I’m not sure of its exact name but it’s probably a “volumizing” product (almost all my hair care products promise more volume) and it comes in a squat little pale orange tub and costs a FORTUNE and is my favorite hair-care product in the universe. (I have fine limp hair and it makes my hair bouncy! and shiny!) You used to be able to get it at Gene Juarez but they might have stopped carrying it. I actually (don’t be too grossed out) have sometimes just LEFT IT IN MY HAIR ALL DAY and, uh, went about my business pretending I was not walking around with a headful of conditioner and, ahem, while my head might have been a little, uh, FRAGRANT, my hair actually looked pretty righteous with that stuff in it.

Tony
14 years ago

Having your own carpet cleaner with oral pyrotechnic children running around is an absolute necessity.

One of the best buys we ever made.

Amber
14 years ago

My daughter was highly suspicious of her first birthday cake, too. In which case I say, more for me!

I also have my own carpet cleaner. We just have a small one, but it’s worth its weight in gold.

Lisa
Lisa
14 years ago

The oxyclean works. Follow up with a carpet shampooer but filled with boiling hot water and no soap. It worked for red wine on a light beige carpet.

Love the pictures of your family.

Kelly
Kelly
14 years ago

Best carpet cleaner ever: Folex. Find it at the big orange. You can use it on other things too like furniture.

Julie
14 years ago

Happy birthday, kiddo! I guess I shouldn’t admit my envy; the only thing my kids smell like first thing in the morning is pee.

Please add Charlie to the hated-his-first-birthday roster:

http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/2005/11/charlies_best_b.html

Maritime
Maritime
14 years ago

My little guy turned one in January and we got him the same pj’s! My piggie did a face plant into his cupcake though :)

biscuit
biscuit
14 years ago

My baby’s (1 year) jammies also smell like pancake syrup.

My dog’s feet smell like corn chips.

Both odor phenoms I will never understand.

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Nicole
Nicole
14 years ago

Ha! I surprised my husband on our daughter’s first birthday with a babysitter and we went out for sushi to celebrate keeping the baby alive one year as well as not getting divorced. Will do the same with #2!

(Not that I am totally cold-hearted, I should add. These were back in the days when she went to sleep at 7 p.m. anyway.)

rachel
rachel
14 years ago

Where did the Jammies come from? I can’t find any with feet for my little one.

Danell
14 years ago

I noticed the pancake syrup smell on the jammies so often that I spent waaaaay too much time googling it…especially since it was most often in peed in pajamas. Hence my useless knowledge of “Maple Syrup Urine Disease.” Apparently not to be confused with “Toddler who slept in footie pajames and now smells like Breakfast,” which is obviously much much more common.

Kelsey
13 years ago

I clicked over to see who the “honor patient” was and I was totally unprepared to find a picture of a child. I cannot imagine what that family has gone through.

Going to donate now.

Nancy
Nancy
13 years ago

Yup, that smell is definitely a little warmed-up, dried-out overnight pee. My girls get it on their feetie PJs. We use Huggies Overnights too, but sometimes BabyB still has a little leakage. I tend not to be offended by it, because it doesn’t smell like outright stinky pee. Just a little syrupy. So sometimes those PJs get worn another night. Is that wrong??

Jess
13 years ago

Pee. Syrup = pee in mommyworld. Bleh.

Erin
Erin
13 years ago

1) Have you tried that Woolite Rug stick? I want to, but haven’t had the need (read- energy to go buy it)

2) 2 children, 1 diaper, 1 pull-up at night= lots of syrup footies around our house. My husband can’t smell it.
I got to sleep in one Saturday, and woke up pissed at my husband for feeding our boy pancakes as I slept, as the boy is very allergic to eggs. He hadn’t, but hadn’t taken off the night-time pull-up either. I earned my bitch of the day award before I even got out of bed.

Joanne
13 years ago

I saw that Twitter thing and totally agree. TOTALLY.

Swiggy
13 years ago

My second is just as serious as Riley was, but just as gaggy/pukey as Dylan is.

My oldest still smells like syrup – maybe it’s the body chemistry or something. He’s been potty trained for a while, so I don’t think it’s pee.

Good luck with the fundraising!

Amy
Amy
13 years ago

I second (or third or twelfth?) the maple syrup smell with the fleece feetie jammies. I thought I was crazy! So good to hear that it’s a universal thing. Ha!

Jen
Jen
13 years ago

OMG I had no idea the fuzzy sleepers caused maple syrup smell!!!! I freaked when this happened w/ our first bc i had just read something in the GD What to Expect the First Year about Maple Syrup Urine Disease…we called the dr., were referred to a specialist at Children’s Hospital, saw a genetic counselor, etc. All was fine but it would have been AWESOME to have known others had this issue…and had healthy kids.

DJ
DJ
13 years ago

The climb won’t be as bad as you imagine. I did a CN Tower stair climb one year in less than 25 minutes and you’re way more fit than I. That climb is 1,776 stairs.

Christen
13 years ago

Interestingly, when I worked as a Hospice chaplain I also found that our diabetes/kidney related floor at the hospital always smelled like maple syrup. A nurse told me it was related to blood sugar and urine.

When my baby boy smelled maple syrupy I was convinced he had diabetes…

Now I know, that, well…it’s just pee doing its thing…

Christen
13 years ago

Whoops, meant to say “hospital chaplain.” I’m actually a Hospice chaplain now…not that it really matters but dammit, I’m a stickler for accuracy!

Sonia
Sonia
13 years ago

Christen, I worried about the same thing! When a person has keto-acidosis (I think?) they have sweet breath, or smell fruity. The first time I smelled the footie jammie/syrup thing I freaked out. I’m so glad I’m not the only one with a little medical background that thought that same thing!

Anais
Anais
13 years ago

For your carpet stain troubles: Oxyclean. As in the: the annoying Billy Mays commercial Oxyclean product. It is truly an amazing cleaning detergent. It never fails.

Mico
Mico
13 years ago

Weird about the syrup smell … last week I didn’t shower before work one morning, and I kept getting a whiff of something sweet all day. What the hell is that?

Mico
Mico
13 years ago

OK, so now that I went back and read the comments I am worried that I have a bedwetting problem that has eluded my notice for 34 years.

lisa
lisa
13 years ago

my son- who is now 25- always had that maple syrup smell. i didn’t think about it other than stinky pee. then i read a mystery about a serial killer who had maple syrup urine disorder. i mentioned it to his doctor who laughed it off.

it’s a real thing. you can read more about it here:
http://www.msud-support.org/intro.htm

i don’t think my son is a serial killer- YET! if he is, he is awfully good at hiding the bodies!