I’m not going to defend an aggressive and militant approach apparently supported by your cartoonist. But, there’s a reasonable concern about handing out “free” samples of a product that babies/moms can get “hooked” on by companies that sell the product. Yeah, having that backup formula doesn’t have to be anything more than a convenient backup. But because of the feedback loop between nursing and milk production, using formula can damage the establishment of the breastfeeding relationship. I say this as someone for whom breastfeeding was very difficult, but not impossible. It’s every woman’s right to choose how to feed her children. The free formula is a marketing gimmick, and should definitely be opt-in.

I had two miscarriages in 2007, and when the free samples of formula came in the mail, I had a hearty cry. I still tear up when the diaper coupons and the ‘Good Growing’ monthly newsletters come. And then I snarfle up the snot, wipe my face, and take the samples and the coupons to the local women’s shelter. I can’t imagine being angry about receiving them. They’re a painful reminder of our Year That Sucked 10,000 Kinds of Ass, but they help someone else!

I couldn’t breastfeed my now 8 year old son either. The Lactation Specialists treated me like I was El Diablo herself rather than being helpful. I stopped when he was 2 weeks old, but then continued to pump for 4 more weeks. And then? I decided that I was torturing myself over it, making myself miserable trying to pump, and still watching my boy lose weight. So I put him on formula, and forgave myself for angering the Lactation Gods. ;) I never looked back. If either of the two babies I lost had survived, I would have tried to breast feed again, but wouldn’t have given myself nearly as much grief as I did the first round if it didn’t work out. Why do people feel it is necessary to berate each other for making a different choice? And why is it more acceptable to try to breast feed, have it not work out and stop, than if you decide not to do it at all? WHO CARES?!! SanctiMommies of the world? STFU!

“Wood Furniture: Is Painting It A Crime?”

Yes, punishable by being sent to the deep dark woods where you have to confess your sins to the trees.

Yes, I know the comic you are talking about. I consider myself a crunchy environmentalist but I do not like her strip – it’s just way too much. Back off with your single mindedness ideals super woman – jeesh!

Oh, and I consider breastfeeding to be the best and exclusively breastfed my first until 5 months and continued breastfeeding until she weened herself at 13 months. But with my second I returned to work at 4 months (just a month ago) and though I would have preferred to keep exclusively breastfeeding I just couldn’t pump that much, you know, the whole ‘having to do work’ thing and all. So I supplement with formula. It was a hard thing to go through to realize & accept that I couldn’t exclusively breastfeed my baby – but I figure she’s got a full belly and is growing and happy so really, what’s the problem?

Just another “I love getting free formula” comment. Baby #1 was solely breastfed for a year so I was thrilled to have free formula to offer other moms. I certainly did not feel the need to use it and then get “hooked” on it! The second and third baby had to be formula fed and I’m considering switching brands because I get more coupons for the other one.

I never understood this mentality either. Of course a COMPANY is trying to PUSH THEIR PRODUCTS and MAKE MONEY. That’s what they do. It’s, like, the definition of a company.

Dude, if they could sell you boobs and/or breastmilk, they totally would. But they can’t, so they try to sell you what they *can*.

It’s not an evil, anti-boob conspiracy. I mean, damn.

Because the USA is a signatory to the WHO code on the marketing of breastmilk substitutes which prohibits the provision of free formula samples to mothers.
http://www.who.int/nutrition/publications/code_english.pdf (read Article 5 on page 11)

I have breastfed one child and formula fed another. I see both sides of the argument very clearly.

But…. if a mother is having feeding problems, and would like to breastfeed but is also in that hormonal “I don’t know what to do phase” and she is tired and emotional and the baby just won’t. stop. crying. and she has some free formula just hanging around; giving that formula to the baby just compounds her feeding problems, it rarely helps them. Before she knows it, she has weaned her baby and has feelings of regret and and failure. If the formula hadn’t been there, the mother *may* have sought help with her feeding problems thereby circumventing all this negative stuff.

Bottlefeed or formula feed, I don’t care, but let the decision to bottle feed be made with a clear head and let it be an informed decision

If you were having a REALLY BAD day, and your dog just died and your husband was caught cheating and you were full of emotion, that you might not fall off the wagon? Good on you if you don’t, but you might and boy that drink was good, it made you feel better, so you’ll just have one more little one….. you know how that goes.
And if a little mini bottle of wild turkey made its way through your mail box, you would throw it away because *you know the consequences*. But what if you don’t know the consequences and you don’t throw it away?

BTW my comments in NO WAY support the evil woman who draws the cartoons. She gives breastfeeders a REALLY BAD name.

Right on sister! You tell it. Thanks for your forthrightness and thoughtfulness on the issues and challenges of parenthood.

Just wait until you get this unsolicited mail:
MENOPAUSE CATALOGS.

Personally, I’m leaning towards “smack them on the head and tell them to shut up.”

Oy, Naomi, I have a hard time believing that if I were genuinely panicked that breastfeeding wasn’t working out that I would be more apt to feed formula just because it’s in my house than if it isn’t. Like Sundry said, it’s insulting, and further, if I were GENUINELY FREAKED and apt to change my mind anyway, there is nothing, and I don’t say this lightly, stopping me from running out to buy some. A sample does not make that easier or more likely to occur, I just don’t buy it.

And this is coming from a person who lives in the sticks, and if *I* can get formula fast, then most people can, and probably would.

It just doesn’t fly with me. I kind of get the logic behind it, but eh, it just doesn’t make any sense, because it does take away the assumption that people make informed parenting choices, big and small, every day. And further, I kind of think the parallel to alcohol is a bit overstated and made me really uncomfortable.

Right then! Sorry, Naomi.

Personally, I plan to put brandy in my daughter’s bottle to help with teething, just like Rose Nylund on the Golden Girls.

I received the free formula in the mail and I remember thinking… this may come in handy, in case of an emergency. I shoved the formula in the back of my cabinet.

Aside from a bit of formula in the hospital due to dehydration from a fever, my daughter hasn’t touched the stuff. However that didn’t stop me from stocking up on what the hospital gave us, because hello, formula is expensive and just in case I was unable to provide breast milk, I was more than prepared to give her the next best thing.

The formula that sat in our cabinets was not “temptation”, it was a safety net.

This person sounds humourless and perpetually bitchy; the kind that gives other people ulcers.

It’s really not about the formula. Sounds like she just enjoys complaining.

I will say that I’ve been tempted to use the free formula in the cupboards on the really bad won’t-stop-crying days, and even though having it in my cupboard is certainly more tempting than having to run to the store to buy some…SO WHAT? Feeding formula one time doesn’t mean I’ll stop breastfeeding. And feeding formula two or ten or twenty times doesn’t either. And even if it does? It’s FORMULA, not Diet Coke or bourbon or, like Linda said, anthrax. It’s engineered to feed babies in the best possible way. How many of US were fed formula?

[…] Attached Parent Friday, February 27th, 2009 | Author: Tree Dreamer I was inspired by this post by Lindaat Sundry Mourning, but this was really too long to put in her comments. She came across a web comic that’s focused on attachment parenting, and found some of the panels a little… annoying. Of course I had to run out and look for it on Google so that I too could be annoyed. Or maybe it’s that thing in me where I have to know what everyone is talking about. […]

I’ve had an experience like the one in the cry it out / miscarriage panel. And I was not the one piously lecturing the other one on how their ‘bad’ parenting choices were a result of the miscarriage or that I should know better b/c of that sorrow. :\ Not with this woman, so clearly more than one person is that callous and bullheaded. I wrote a blog post about it (see website link) ‘cos I didn’t want to take up the commenting space. I don’t know what it is about these mothering things that sets us all up against one another; even creating battles and drawing lines where there shouldn’t be any. Do whatever makes baby happy & healthy, every family & baby is different. Why is that so hard for people?

hey, I’m just pleased people are feeding their kids. Ha!

If she could just apply her outrage to the religious missionary types trolling my neighborhood, ringing my doorbell, and waking my breastfed baby from a nap – then I could maybe endorse her anger.

I didn’t have the option to breast feed as my daughter’s birthmom picked us to parent her baby 16 days before she was born! I was so grateful for all the free formula samples we received. I donated and freecycled the products/coupons we couldn’t use…didn’t experience outrage. But the NERVE of the hospital to include nipple thingies for nursing moms in our complimentary diaper bag! I’m still a little chafed about THAT!

FYI, I had 3 tubal pregancies and 3 miscarriages (2 after IVF and FET) before we adopted our only child so I’m sure this “lady” would have quite an opinion about my parenting for sure.

De-lurking to say dude, I’m with you. I’m one of the many who goes both ways – I primarily breastfeed, but my son does get a bottle of formula from time to time if I haven’t pumped enough. Exclusive breastfeeding is a lovely idea but one that can be extremely difficult, and for some impossible, to live up to. And when I get formula samples or coupons that I don’t need in the mail, I simply ask around to see if anyone else could use them, because they never send the kind I use (Similac Organic. I’m a wannabe hippie). I mean, Huggies sends me crap too but I don’t go postal because I use Pampers.

And speaking of hippie ideas, I’m also one of those whose kid sleeps in the bed with her, but not because I think cribs are evil. It’s just the only place he will sleep for any stretch of time, therefore the only way my fiancé and I can get any sleep. So we do what we have to do.

As far as bringing up miscarriages, that is just wrong. I had a miscarriage before conceiving my son and yes, he was very much wanted, but does that mean I’m never allowed to get frustrated when he won’t just GO TO SLEEP ALREADY? I don’t have it in me to let him cry, but I’m sure some people think it’s far worse to co-sleep than to cry it out. The beauty part is, those people don’t live in my house.

I reserve my vitriol for the parents I see smoking in the car with their kids in the backseat, not the ones doing the best they can do to feed their kids and get a little sleep.

I just do not understand people thinking formula is this horrible thing.

I have a 4-month old who has gotten only breastmilk (with the exception of a couple formula feedings in the hospital). He’s a great eater and I’ve had very little trouble nursing. BUT, I do have a can of formula sitting in my pantry just in case I need it. And honestly, I get a lot of comfort from the fact that it’s there.

I don’t get all the angry knicker-twisting either. It boils down to this: some women breastfeed, some women feed their babies formula. The important thing is that they’re feeding and loving their baby, not whether they’re doing what they’re ‘supposed’ to do or ‘should’ do according to a society made up of sanctimonious mothers who know everything.

My son wouldn’t latch on well when he was a newborn. He eventually figured it out, but when he was four days old on Christmas Eve (a few years ago), I was at my wits end, he was my first, and I had no earthly idea what I was doing. He was starving, he was screaming, and I was BURSTING b/c my milk had come in and he hadn’t really eaten well yet. My wonderful husband went to a drugstore (miraculously found one open on Christmas Eve at 11:00) and bought a cheapo breastpump so I could get some relief and refrigerate the milk. (the pump looked like the penis pump in Austin Powers, but that’s another story). I pumped, he eventually ate, became a chubby, healthy baby, and I’m still nursing him today even though he’s eight years old.

HA! Kidding. I nursed him for six months and switched to formula, for a variety of reasons that no-one needs to know or judge.

The point is, we had many free samples of formula in the house from the hospital. I decided, even in my post-partum sleep-deprived new-mother state, that I’d still rather try to make nursing work, even though it might have been easier to give him formula. So I don’t buy that having formula available if you’re having trouble nursing will make the decision for you. I also don’t believe it’s poison, and my child grew strong and healthy on a combination of breastmilk and formula. I’m thankful I was able to nurse, and I’m thankful we could afford formula when I stopped.

And yes! I have just written a novel so I believe congratulations are in order! (sorry it was so long, is what I’m saying.)

People that are so judgmental about other parents drives me nuts. It reminds me of a Kathleen Madigan skit, making fun of Dr. Laura…she said something along the lines of:

What did she do? Just wake up one day and think “well, I’m so damn right about everything, I’m going to start taking calls.”

This joke also applies to my mother-in-law. :)

Man, I was all about the free formula samples until I realized that my daughter couldn’t tolerate plain ol’ Similac and instead needed the Gentlease kind. Which no one ever gives out as samples, sadly. So at that point I donated all of the samples to the local food bank and they seemed very appreciative. Anyway, that’s my story. Now that I reread it, it isn’t very interesting. Ah, well.

Sorry to piggyback, but I thought this might be relevant given the topic. A little tip for those who don’t think formula is dehydrated devil blood…..

My wife and I found out that formula was covered in our prescription plan. Of course, a doctor needs to prescribe it. A 3-month supply (probably closer to 2 to 2 1/2 months) of regular Similac cost about $90. Not sure on other brands, but I know many others were available.

I love how there is the word TEMPTATION involved in feeding your kid formula. There are a million reasons to breastfeed and a million reasons to formula feed and as some one who has done both DARE I SUGGEST that all of them are valid.

Formula is not crack cocaine people. There is no temptation at all. It’s a choice and a perfectly nutritious and valid one. I don’t understand why because some one is poor it is to be assumed that she is also too stupid to make her own damn decisions.

My kiddo had to have that $20 for a small can formula – can’t even remember the name of it now. When he got off formula it was like getting a raise. I never had the option of breast feeding because of the meds I take for a chronic illness, and that broke my heart. Yay for those who can breastfeed, some of us can’t for a variety of reasons and don’t need the misplaced judgment.

That’s like getting pissed at free diapers in the mail because you use cloth. THEN DONATE THEM IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO USE THEM. Duh. A women’s shelter would happily take any of those ‘horrible’ products off your hands.

I had no idea people got stabby about that. Never would have crossed my mind.

Though it never actually *angered* me, and I eventually was THRILLED to have all the samples sent/given to me when I ended up having to supplement with formula, I was always a little suspicious of the formula companies.

I had a very hard time nursing and while I had no problem just putting the free samples (and there were probably 10 that arrived within 2 months) in the cabinet, I got the very distinct feeling that these companies were, in part, preying on the weak.

You are weak after a c-section, after having no sleep, after hearing that baby shriek for hours – not to mention the difficulties that come with nursing.

I think it’s a little shady.

And one more thing: When you are trying to successfully breast feed, you may not think of formula as poison or even failure! It’s just that little nudge to you know – skip school, call off sick. And when you WANT to nurse, you really need encouragement. You need somebody to tell you: it’s going to get better! Because it does, if you don’t give up. It gets easier.

That’s all!

I breastfed my first son (now 3) exclusively for a year, and I’m doing the same for our 3-week-old. I got a shit ton of free formula in the hospital and also a few canisters in the mail, and I felt like I had won the lottery, even though I’ll probably never end up using any of it. I tucked it all away in my closet in case we ever need it. I don’t get what is so upsetting.

Miserable people will always find something to complain about. What a douche.

(I luv yer blawg!)

I think she is a douche, too. For the record.

Love, love, love the Pulp Fiction quote.

I got free stuff too, but wanted to give breastfeeding a try. I ended up giving the formula samples away.

I breastfed my son, but got several cans of sample formula over the course of his first few months. I donated them all to a food shelf because, holy crap that stuff gets expensive. I also got tons of coupons – great coupons for up to $10 off per can, that I passed along to friends using that particular kind of formula. I loved breastfeeding and plan to do it again this time, but formula is most certainly not evil.

Yeah, I think the problem here (with the comic) is part of a larger problem, which is people needing to judge other people no matter WHAT decisions they’ve made. I remember well an online “mommy forum” I visited when I was pregnant with my first, and how incredibly divisive it was, and how much that surprised me. Working away from home moms v. stay at home moms. Breastfeeders v. formula feeders. Cloth diapers v. disposable. Co-sleepers v. crib sleepers. And ON AND ON and fricking on. It’s just amazing to me that people who KNOW firsthand how difficult it is to be a parent feel the need to judge the decisions that others have made, at all, and worse, without knowing WHY they’ve made the decisions they’ve made. (It’s one thing to judge someone when you know their individual; it’s another thing still to judge them without knowing anything about them other than one aspect of their parenting.)

I like the people above who “go both ways.” Me, too. Breastfeeding, then breastfeeding combined with bottle feeding of expressed milk (because, you know, maternity leave sucks ass in this country, so if I wanted to continue giving her breast milk she had to get it from a bottle), then breastmilk combined with formula. Then, probably, formula only (I say probably since the baby is now 9 months and still bf’ing some, but I don’t get much when I pump, so I’m guessing before a year we may be done).

I always love your posts, Linda.

I didn’t use any of my freebies (was lucky enough to be able to pump enough for all three of my babies while working full time). I donated all my freebies to the battered women’s shelter. And I even cashed in ALL the coupons–for both companies who advertised with me–and donated and/or gave them to a mother I knew needed them. I wasn’t offended ONE BIT.

I sorta get the point–that mothers might just decide to take the “easy way out” if those freebies are sitting there enticingly in that free diaper bag. But, gee, it was so HARD for me to just hand them off since I didn’t want them!

I think free samples of formula are great. Breastfeeding didn’t work out with my first child and I was more than happy to get free samples. Even now, with my second child, I occasionally suplement with formula and the free samples have meant that I didn’t need to pay out of pocket for it. Formula is certainly not poison, and referring to it as such belittles all those babies who depend on it for survival.

These people could easily donate the formula to perhaps an adoption agency or food pantry so that somebody who can’t nurse their child has the opportunity to use the formula. Or give it to a friend or coworker who might need it? That’s what I did!! It’s not that hard, people.

As a kid who was probably fed both (I should ask!), I’m about to graduate college this semester, with honors, as a Fine Arts Major. …Maybe the Fine Arts is where I got screwed up! Hah!

Feed the kid, let the kid be happy, and for heaven sake’s you lovely mothers.. Do whatever you need to to get the kid to quiet down for 8 solid hours a night. Cookies if you get ten.

I’m with wn – free samples? wtf – we don’t get free samples of anything in our Canadian mail….would sure love some!

With the economy the way it is these days – be thankful for whatever things you get free! Do a happy dance….be happy!

OMFG, I am so over the breastfeeding propaganda machine and the smug bitches from the La Leche League, and guess what?? I exclusively breast feed my six-month-old and have since he was born. I understand they want to get their message out but is brow beating and playing on mother’s guilt, which happens to be the most toxic, debilitating emotion there is, really the way to do this?? There are a zillion valid reasons why a mother might choose formula. Sorry I am normally one for diplomatic reasonable arguments that don’t include calling people bitches, but seriously this is too much. When I had my baby they were in my room every two hours practically undressing me themselves and asking me ten times a day, “Did you pump?? How much did you get??” You are preaching to the choir, now get the fu** out of my room! And really, do you think that as a mother who had planned to breastfeed that I am going to change my plans because I got a freebie in the mail?? PLEASE. This is the same old argument as the whole free condom thing….Well, I was planning to stay a virgin, but since their handing out free condoms, I might as well DO IT! Ridiculous. And I agree that breast milk is nutritionally ideal but this does not give these people license to attack mothers who use formula on every possible level to wear them down and make them feel like they’re children are suffering.

Completely off the topic, but I needed to point out that I DO know how to correctly use there/their/they’re….agggh!

I am playing devil’s advocate. If you chose NOT to breastfeed, how would you like to receive 10 informational brochures in 2 months about the benefits of breastfeeding?

Probably would piss you off, right? Even if you just threw them away.

La Leche, Enfamil, whoever – I would rather they all leave me alone :)

No idea what her problem is, but PLEASE can you give us a link to her comic? Oh, it sounds wonderfully entertaining.

formula companies do not give out free samples out of the goodness of their heart. they do it because they have read the studies that say the women who have access to free samples in the first weeks/months of breastfeeding are more likely to use them. especially if the samples are handed out by the hospital.

using formula is fine if that is what mom intended to do, but for those mamams who are focused on breastfeeding, those formula samples can sabotage these early honest efforts. a new breastfeeding relationship is inherently fragile and needs a few weeks to get started properly. until a good milk supply is established (usually around 4-6 weeks)it is crucial that mama and baby are left to do their thing. when formula is introduced at this early juncture, many moms experience a decrease in supply and then sometimes even give up on breastfeeding. which is of course fine if that is what they originally wanted, but the issue is if they were sabotaged by strategically placed formula.

once a mama’s milk dries up, she is then financially dependent on formula for the rest of her child’s infancy. the formula companies know this and know that a few free samples marketed aggressively in the crucial first few weeks can very well guarantee a new customer for months and months. very icky. and this hurts babies and mamas and is not right.

free formula is not the issue, aggressively marketing to very new moms who have stated that they are planning to breastfeed is wrong. and unfortunately very effective at sabotaging wanted breastfeeding relationships. as an m.d. who helps new moms get breastfeeding off to a good start (if they choose to bf),this is what we are objecting to.