It’s been six years since I last had any contact with my father. He’s never met his own grandchildren. He may not even know they exist, but I think it’s far more likely he does. I think he probably sees them in the same way anyone else who visits this website does.

On this subject I have no generosity, no forgiveness, and no willingness to accept explanation. I don’t think about him much, but I hope it hurts to see what he’s missing. I hope with every photo, every word, every tiny glimpse into the lives he so easily cast aside, his heart weighs heavy with the knowledge of what could have been.

I don’t even have the words for how grateful I am that my sons have a father that is everything my own father was not. Their father is strong, selfless, committed, and most of all, he loves them with everything in his heart. Riley and Dylan will always be secure in the knowledge that there is nothing in this world that could cause JB to leave his children. They will be loved throughout their lives, and they will never know a day when their father will not be there to support them.

On this Father’s Day, I want JB to know what an amazing dad he is every single day of the year. I want him to know he truly embodies everything fatherhood should be. I want him to know how lucky I feel for having him by my side, and how blessed his children are for having him as their dad.

Father’s Day 2009 from Linda Lee on Vimeo.

Comments

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
66 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sarah
14 years ago

Ever since my father self-destructed and died, this day has stung a little. There was only one Father’s Day where we were not speaking because I could not bear to try to rescue him anymore. His last words to me were “fuck you”.

I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to have that horrible feeling every single Father’s Day for your entire life. He is truly missing out.

JB is a fantastic dad. Your boys are so lucky to know what fatherhood really should look like.

nic @mybottlesup
14 years ago

awesome! absolutely awesome. i hope your family has a wonderful day celebrating JB today. fantastic video.

Becky
Becky
14 years ago

That? That was awesome. I hope you all have a terrific day.

Melissa
14 years ago

what a touching vid! I had to watch it twice :)

Suzy
Suzy
14 years ago

*sniff*sniff* WHAT? That video totally did not make me cry. Not even a little.

(It totally did.)

That was so sweet! You have a beautiful family.

warcrygirl
14 years ago

Here’s hoping JB has a kick ass Father’s Day. It’s only fitting for a kick-ass dad like him.

Jamie
14 years ago

That was an awesome video! Those boys are lucky to have such a great dad!

Laura Porras
Laura Porras
14 years ago

Amazing video! JB will treasure it forever. I know I don’t need to say this, but enjoy every moment of your Father’s Day together.

Kelley O.
Kelley O.
14 years ago

That video gave me CHILLS, it was so GREAT. Your boys are so lucky to have such a great dad, and YOU, my dear, are equally as lucky because you have such a HOTTIE for a hubby. I’m just sayin’. Of course, you’re pretty darn hott yourself, so I guess it’s a win win win all around for everyone. :) Have a great Father’s Day!

Maggie
Maggie
14 years ago

AS IF your kids couldn’t get any cuter…they just did! Wow, what a special gift for JB to have for years to come! I hope he has a wonderful Father’s Day…and that those adorable little nom-ables keep getting more and more adorable :)

Jamie :)
Jamie :)
14 years ago

I LOVED the video. Too sweet. You are both so lucky to have each other and to have such wonderful children! :)

justmouse
justmouse
14 years ago

awwwww! that was so awesome! i have always been lucky enough to have a dad that loved us and was always there for us. i’m 35 now, and he still comes to my rescue if i need him to. There are so many sad stories out there…i love to read about you and JB and your boys, because you’re such an awesome family, and even when things aren’t “perfect”, there is never any doubt about how much you love one another.

:)

willikat
14 years ago

pure awesomeness. happy father’s day to JB.

Elizabeth
14 years ago

Father’s Day has sucked for me as well ever since my father stopped being in my life – my story sounds remarkably similar to yours.

The fact that my son has such an amazing dad makes this day a little better every year.

What you said, in other words. Thanks for that – I feel less alone.

Undomestic Diva
14 years ago

That is such an amazing tribute to an obviously great father.

melissa
melissa
14 years ago

your post brought tears to my eyes, since unfortunately i could have written something quite similar. my father has not been in my life for a long time, and has never even met my husband, let alone our son. i feel that loss frequently, especially on father’s day…but like you i try to focus on how incredibly lucky my son and future child will be to always have a wonderful dad in my husband. i try to remind myself whenever i feel sad that this is most definitely my father’s loss, and i shouldn’t waste time pitying someone who made choices to hurt and alienate his family.

The Girl
14 years ago

What a cool video. And CHEERS TO JB and his AWESOME DADDINESS. (That’s a word now, by the way.) He rocks so freakin’ hard.

Also: How much does the big boy look like you? I never noticed, but watching him speak, he’s the spitting image of his mama.

Kate
14 years ago

Happy Father’s Day to JB. That was a totally sweet video. The best gift ever. And next year? Dylan will be adding his own two cents, I’m sure.

Maria
14 years ago

Shit…all I got Tony was a gift card. You put me to shame, Girl!!!

I’m truly sorry you’ve been hurt, and you didn’t have the support system you deserved. I think, despite your wounds, you’ve become an amazing person. You have clearly CHOSEN for yourself a great partner. You also picked the perfect way to celebrate him and your family.

clarabella
14 years ago

Those two cutie boys bopping their heads in the back of the truck is possibly one of the cutest things I have EVER seen. Made me giggle. Happy Father’s Day, JB.

Jill
14 years ago

What a bittersweet post. I’m sorry for all that your dad has done, but I’m glad that you found a silver lining. The ability to recognize a true father when you see one and it sounds like married the cream of the crop in that department.

Mary
Mary
14 years ago

The chance to be a parent is an honor. Your boys are blessed with two great parents!

A loving father is a beautiful thing. My husband found out a few months ago that he has a 9 year old daughter, so this is his first father’s day–surprise! He and his daughter have quickly become so close. We spent all day with her swimming at the lake yesterday, and to see the two of them out there splashing around together–there’s just a beautiful intense happiness. A big love based on them knowing that even though they’ve missed out on so much, they DO have every day from now on. So families don’t always go how you picture them to go–I love that instead of being pissed about whatever bad choices were made before, he’s diving head first into daddyhood starting as soon as he could, and it’s a gorgeous thing. I’m so lucky to have married him.

AndreAnna
14 years ago

They say that women marry men like their fathers. I couldn’t have chosen someone more the opposite.

And my children thrive from this.

Lesley
Lesley
14 years ago

There are fathers and there are sperm donors. I’ve never understood the latter though for a long time, I wondered what I did to make my dad one of these. He walked out when we were youngsters (I was 7), married another woman, adopting her children, and never looked back. When he was 85 he decided he needed his biological kids, on his terms (don’t ask him questions). Only I stopped feeling like one and being one too long ago for me to pretend I could be one.

Dads like JB probably take their own fierce love for their kids as a given. Happy Father’s Day, JB.

Melissa D.
Melissa D.
14 years ago

I hear you about your father. It’s great that you can turn that around and make it so positive because of JB. Great video.

Jean
Jean
14 years ago

LOVE. I love YOU for giving your self and your family the husband/father you all deserve. JB ROCKS.

Jen - Mom of  4
Jen - Mom of 4
14 years ago

Great video!

My Brother in Law decided to stop speaking to his daughters because they wouldn’t forgive him for his affair that destroyed their family. We recently reconnected with our nieces. We lost a lot of time because of miscommunication – we were both told by him that the other didn’t want to hear from us again.

I don’t think I will ever understand how he can walk away from his daughters and now granddaughter without a backwards glance. I often get frustrated by it. But we love the girls and their children – who has now became my grandchild.

You are so lucky to know that you have a wonderful husband and father for your children – Congrats!

Lindsay
Lindsay
14 years ago

Very sweet. 1:33 had me laughing my head off. Also it was cute to see Riley talking like a little functioning person while Dylan tried to do things like stand on his head? stand up? on a soft couch cushion for his contribution to the vid. Equally adorable.

Pocklock
14 years ago

I was teary watching the video until the headbanging which cracked me right the hell up.

You have a beautiful family, Linda.

Happy Father’s Day, JB!

Michele
14 years ago

That video made me laugh AND cry. Awesome job. Your kids are incredibly lucky to have parents like you.

Kelsey
14 years ago

What an awesome tribute! Well done!

Susan
14 years ago

That. Was simply awesome! Happy Father’s Day, JB.

samantha jo campen
14 years ago

I watched it twice too! That was a fabulous video. Loved. Hope you had a great day!

Misty
Misty
14 years ago

The in sync head-banging in the back seat may have been the most adorable thing I have EVER seen.

babelbabe
14 years ago

Happy Father’s Day, JB!

L – I just read the entry about your dad. Regardless of anything else that you may or may not have done, HE LEFT YOU. How can any parent leave a child? How? Mine drive me routinely nuts and yet I think I would die if I left them. So, his loss.

jolie
14 years ago

Your video made me want to cry! Beautiful kids! Even when they are ornery!

Michelle
14 years ago

An absolutely lovely tribute to the mighty JB. I think it is right of the universe to gift you with a husband who is the dad to your kids that you never had. You were owed.

You have such a gorgeous family, Linda. Well done!

Audubon Ron
14 years ago

My dad was the perfect father when I was young. But, somewhere, things went wrong.

My dad wanted me to play football, which I did and I was pretty good at it. But my heart was in the arts. When I was accepted into American Ballet Theater, he went ape shit in the wrong direction. After ABT I got married. We stumbled around in our relationship and actually got closer, but much later on. Then we got into a terrible argument. If you ever saw the movie Secrets of The Ya Ya Sisterhood, I was abused the same way by both parents. I finished raising my sister who ran away from home, my brother as far as I know is still homeless. I finally let my parents have it after all those years. I was 43. The next year my mother died and my father has not said one word to me since, not a note or a card, nothing. That was 8 years ago.

I call it the cycles of broken love. At 12, they were all I love you, I love. Then at 3, someone came crashing through the door yelling and hitting. At 6, all was quiet. At 9, all began to return to normal but nothing said, no clearing, a time of forgetting. At 12, the cycle started all over. I never had a reasonable relationship until late in my life because I would anticipate the crash and self destruct.

Sorry for the long comment, I’m not sure I have your email and not sure if you ever read my blog.

Sara
Sara
14 years ago

I think, he knows.

Jennie C.
14 years ago

What a roller coaster ride of a post. Not what one expects on Father’s Day. But Father’s Day isn’t always about goofy ties and cheesy mugs. It’s also about avoiding thinking about the jerks who sired us. Your post is so real. Thanks.

JenniferB
JenniferB
14 years ago

You have a fantastic way of expressing so much emotion and I am so grateful for your willingness to share so much. Your children are blessed by your awesome husband/their dad, and you are blessed to have so much goodness in your life!

Cookie
14 years ago

And if your father doesn’t regret it, then he’s a fool. My own father isn’t very involved in my life or my children’s lives, although I do talk with him on occasion. Couldn’t even get a hold of him yesterday. Oh well. C’est la vie.

Loved that video. Your children are very lucky to have such a wonderful father. Everything I have read in your blog about JB attest to that.

Thank you for sharing with us.

Swistle
14 years ago

I remember on a previous post about your dad, one of your commenters called him a “sad asshole.” I think of that every time you mention him. What a sad asshole.

Laura
Laura
14 years ago

What a GREAT video!

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
14 years ago

Such a cute video.

Shelly
14 years ago

When you have children, you really see your own parents so clearly, don’t you? And if they were good, you appreciate and love them more than you ever have. But if they were bad, you finally understand just how bad, and if you weren’t mad before, you are then.

pink_girl
pink_girl
14 years ago

I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time and have never commented, but this time I had to. Your post really touched me. I haven’t spoken to my father in seven years, he’s never met my husband or my two kids. Don’t know if he ever will. I don’t know how similar our past stories are, but it sounds like our current situations are identical. You how how “they” say that woment tend to marry men like their fathers? I call BS on that one. My husband is everything my father never was.

Cheers to my husband, and yours.

Olivia
Olivia
14 years ago

I haven’t seen my father in 18 years. I doubt he knows I’m married and have a child now. Everyday I’m thankful I married a man who is such an awesome father. Our little girl is so lucky to have him.

Maria
14 years ago

Love this.

Michelle
Michelle
14 years ago

My father divorced my mother while she was
pregnant with me. Wonderful person that he
was he walked away without ever setting eyes
on me or paying my mother a dime of child
support. That is why Father’s day has alway
been just another day to me, nothing special.
Now that I’m married with kids I try to make
it special for my husband for he is everything my father was not.

Loved your video tribute for JB, I’m sure he’ll treasure it forever. He and your boys
are just as cute as can be.