I have questions. Hopefully, you have answers. Let’s go.

1) I was a big fan of Bare Minerals makeup for years, until recently when I noticed the powder had started . . . settling, sort of, into my newly-acquired wrinkly areas. Plus, it was making me very shiny, and not in the Firefly use of the word. I switched to Laura Mercier’s “oil free flawless face kit”, and I’m sorry to report the results were neither oil free nor flawless. Worse, the rosacea that I haven’t seen since I stopped drinking over five years ago is creeping back, which, what the fuck? So I need a good makeup recommendation for 30-something, oily, rosacea-prone skin, please. Bonus if it doesn’t cost a trillion dollars.

2) I loved The Hunger Games/Catching Fire and I liked The Forest of Hands and Teeth, so what else should I be reading in the world of dystopian YA fiction?

3) This week I have to give a presentation as part of my final nutrition class project. Here are some things I’d rather do than give a presentation: hammer a rusty nail through my foot. Kiss Spencer Pratt on the mouth. Listen to forty straight hours of Bob Dylan. EAT A LIVE SPIDER. Do you have any public speaking tips that will prevent uncontrolled terrified urination on my part? Like picturing your audience naked, except, you know, something that actually works?

4) Have any of you ever dealt with a kid who won’t accept help when he hurts himself? When Riley scrapes his knee or whatever, he often loses his shit and howls “NOOOO!” over and over, refusing to let us even approach him. It’s like he just goes into a panic. It’s one thing when that happens at home, but if it happens while we’re out—like if he crashes and burns in a store while doing his patented Look Back Over One Shoulder While Running Full Speed Ahead maneuver—I feel at a total loss with no idea how to calm him down or at least bring the Dramatic Public Scene to a close. Usually we just end up totally frustrated with him, which seems like the worst case scenario for everyone. Any ideas for how to help him get past this stage?

5) This last one isn’t really a question, I just wanted to show you the kids’ school photos, which finally came back. Man, pleasantly surprised doesn’t even cover it. I could look at these all day long, cheesy fake fence and all.

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Pete
Pete
11 years ago

Good Pix

Heather C
Heather C
11 years ago

You might like Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. It’s set in a future where when people reach the age of 17, everyone has plastic surgery to make them “pretty”. One girl decides not to have the surgery and runs away, and her friend Tally has to find her or never become “pretty” herself. Tally uncovers a horrible secret about the surgery.

nancy
nancy
11 years ago

Thumbs in pockets, so COOL! And Dylan looks like he’s warming up to take flight :) Very worthwhile turnout. Not YA but have you gotten into the “Dragon Tattoo” series? GOOD.

Life of a Doctor's Wife

Your boys are freaking adorable.

I too have a crippling fear of public speaking. The only two things that help at all are a) to write down every single word I’m going to say, even if it means practicing over and over and transcribing my silly run-on sentences, and then holding tight to that script during the whole presentation. It’s like a lifeline. And b) reminding myself over and over that most people will probably be only half listening, so I am really just talking to myself and a bunch of glazed-over people pre-occupied with their own stuff.

Good luck! You will kick that presentation’s booty.

Gertie
11 years ago

re: Nutrition Class

what’s your topic? While I can’t remember my exact topic, I do remember bringing in tasty ‘samples’. This kept the focus more on the passing plate than on me.

also, I tend to pick three people in the audience. One in the front left, middle center, and back right. Those are the only people that I will alternately look at when talking. It’s easy talking to just three people.

And read a funny joke before you begin (but silently, to yourself!!); laughter will relax you.

NMK
NMK
11 years ago

I don’t know about the other things, but as for #4, how about let him do the cleaning of the owie? You can prep and get the bandaid and the cotton ball with peroxide (or whatever) and then play his assistant and let him do it? He might like the independance and control over the situation? Hope that helps:)

Kelly
Kelly
11 years ago

I have to give a lot of presentations at work so I like to have some kind of treat planned for after a big presentation. I’ll schedule a pedicure or plan to go see a movie as a reward for getting through the talk (the larger the audience, the bigger the treat). I find it helps to have something to look forward to after you finish.

Donna
Donna
11 years ago

Longtime reader, first time commenter…

I noticed the same thing with the Bare Minerals a bit ago. I tried this and it is working so well. I like a bit of barely there, sheerness to my makeup and I really like the results.
http://www.clinique.com/product/CATEGORY4906/PROD13089/Makeup/Powders/index.tmpl

This stuff has cleared up my skin and my redness issues so quickly! I love the way it makes my skin feel. My skin probaby has’t looked this good since high school.
http://www.clinique.com/cms/product/franchise/skincare_redness_mpp.tmpl

Such cute pics!

Michelle
Michelle
11 years ago

Dude.You would rather eat a live spider? Damn! This is serious.

Will you have a desk or a podium or anything on which you can put something where you can see it but nobody else can? If so, then why not take copies of those pictures? A little “touchstone” for you to focus on to remind you of what really matters might help. Also? HUGE deep belly breaths before you go “on”. And then there’s always picking a few folks you feel comfortable looking at and make your eye contact with them. OR, you can do the thing where you look at their temple rather than their eyes so you look like your making eye contact but you aren’t so NYAH!

g~
g~
11 years ago

Self-application of pink, sparkly band-aids tend to calm my (almost) 5 year old drama queen down. She’s concentrating so hard on getting off the wrappers, plastic adhesive covers, etc. that she calms right down.
I would like to think that a calm, logical, “Okay, Riley, I’m going to be right here waiting if you need or want a hug or if you want me to check everything out…” but we all know Blah-ha-ha with the logic on a 4 year old!
My 7 year old son doesn’t feel pain so we don’t have a problem with hysteria–mostly just determining if his wrist is broken (hint: yes).

Mel
Mel
11 years ago

Re: Photos

CONGRATS! Ours this spring were finally good ones!!

Valria
11 years ago

Pictures are adorable…guess the bribe worked even if when you paid up you weren’t sure of the outcome. A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E.

No advice for the public speaking, I usually puke first, and then right after. Don’t know if it helps but its not voluntary either.

Eric's Mommy
Eric's Mommy
11 years ago

I am dying to read what other commenters have to say because I have shiny face too and have found nothing that helps! Except putting on more pressed powder and that lasts like 5 minutes.

Also you must REALLY not want to give that presentation because, eating a live spider!! OMG!! I took a speech class in High School and was told to think of my belly button and it would calm me down. It helped for awhile but doesn’t anymore. Maybe because back then I hadn’t had a child and my belly button wasn’t all that bad.

BTW, love the new school photos!

Valerie
Valerie
11 years ago

I use Maybelline’s dream matte mouse, it covers everything, and it’s only $7.50. Awesome.

As far as reading: “The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo” series is awesome.

The 3rd hunger games book comes out in August.

Did you read the Percy Jackson books? Just okay, but passes the time.

My little girl does the same thing with the owies, and what works for me, I just tell her to pick up her owie and throw it at someone. She likes this becuase she thinks she is really throwing something at someone, and that I’m okay with it. So she gets to be “bad” and then forgets that she’s hurt. Plus it’s super cute to watch. Then at night, I sneak in with a band-aid and neosporin and apply where needed. In the morning, I tell her the band-aid fairy came. She thinks its great.

Tamara
Tamara
11 years ago

You should check out Minerelle. It’s really good for rosacea (or acne) and I find that it keeps my skin fresh for much of the day. I still use a blotting paper at lunchtime because I am quite oily, but this makeup is the best that I have found for minimizing the shine and still being pretty light and non-irritating.

Unfortunately, it does cost a trillion dollars, but it’s worth it and it lasts a long time.

Susan
Susan
11 years ago

You could try Jane Iredale mineral makeup. It’s not the least expensive makeup, but it does come in two different formulations – one for normal to dry, and one for oilier skin. It also leaves a very slight “glow” on your cheekbones which highlights them and is kind of pretty, plus you can control the coverage. I would recommend going to a salon or spa to buy it rather than the internet, only because they offer several color choices.
Good luck!

Melody
11 years ago

I have a dystopian recommendation for you! It’s “Life As We Knew It” by Susan Beth Pfeffer. I just read it last Friday and I COULD NOT put that sucker down. It’s apparently the first in a trilogy (the other two books being The Dead and the Gone and This World We Live In) but I haven’t read those yet.

Renee
Renee
11 years ago

Riley looks just like you!!! super cute pics!

Noemi
11 years ago

I’ll spare you my makeup recommendation because it’s Chanel and it does cost a trillion dollars, and I don’t wear it often enough to even KNOW if it will make you shine.

I just finished The Magicians by Lev Grossman, which is an adult Harry Potter sort of thing- not as riveting as the Hunger Games series, but still good.

The boys look awesome!

Zoot
Zoot
11 years ago

Graceling and Fire are the books I read in the midst of the ones you mentioned. I think by Kristin Cashore or something. (I’m too lazy to look it up.) Serious kickass female leads in both similar to Katniss. But with a tad more hope than Forest of Hands and Teeth which totally depressed me.

Gloria
Gloria
11 years ago

I’ll second what Gertie said about public speaking; talk to specific people in the audience. Beyond that, know your subject matter really well, use cue cards if you need to but try not to read a prepared speech. Most people speak too fast when they read and they also lose most eye contact with their audience. Remember to breathe, wear clothes that don’t show perspiration and have fun!

Kizz
11 years ago

Books: Read Graceling by Kristin Cashore and if you like that go to the paraquel, Fire. If you liked Hunger Games and you quote Firefly with abandon I predict you will like these.

Make sure you have something to do with your hands and wear shoes that give you a firm base. If I wig out my knees start to REALLY wobble so teetery heels for the pretty factor are not OK. For the hippie woo woo angle, when I was teaching dance we always told the kids to think of their performance as a gift to the people they cared about in the audience so they should just go out there and give their people the best gift they could manage because it was something they wanted. Remember that those people don’t want you to fail. You know how bad it is to watch someone dissolve in public. They want you to do well, they’re rooting for you, so give them what they want.

And my comment just started to smell a lot like patchouli, time to quit.

AndreAnna
11 years ago

Re: Books. Yes! I read the same ones and loved them both and keep trying (fruitlessly) to find ones just as good! And lo, nothing. So I will be checking back here for recs. I even tried to read the Vampire Academy books and even though some people LOVE them, I thought my eyes would actually fall out of my head from the rollage. Also: Percy Jackson: eh.

Re: Makeup. I was the same way with Bare Escentuals and I also hated that as soon as my face touched something, there would be makeup all over it. So I tried Revlon’s Liquid Color Stay foundation for oily skin and LOVE it. Great coverage, no streaks of falling into wrinkles, and it doesn’t wipe off all over shit. Also, under 15$. I also still use the “mineral” powder from BE on to for a “finish”.

Re: photos. Love the fake fence.

Valerie
Valerie
11 years ago

Teint Idole from Lancome…I have oily skin and this stuff lasts all day – even through my sweaty gym sessions at lunch.

http://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/foundations/teint-idole-ultra.htm

As for the public speaking…deep breaths and try to make them laugh at the beginning…and know that 99% of the population hates it just as much as you so everyone will be nervous.

LauraC
11 years ago

I agree with another commenter,Uglies by Scott Westerfield. The sequels were not as good.

I use Origins Matte Scientist lotion (I think they recently renamed it to Zero Oil). I have NEVER EVER had un-shiny skin in my 36 years and until I switched to this. The best part is you can go to Origins, get a facial for free, and try it out before you spend the bucks.

RA
RA
11 years ago

I can only speak to #2, so here are a few suggestions:

Unwind, by Neal Shusterman
Candor, by Pam Bachorz
The Giver, by Lois Lowry (not recent, but a classic)

These aren’t dystopian, but still very good recent YA reads:

Burned, by Ellen Hopkins
Wintergirls, by Laurie Halse Anderson
Graceling, by Kristin Cashore

Ris
Ris
11 years ago

Those pics are CUUUUTE. Re: public speaking, I also hate hate hate it. My only advice is to practice the presentation over and over and over again, kind of like a muscle memory thing, and you’ll have something to fall back on once you’re not doing it in front of you living room wall/bedroom mirror/husband and kids who love you. Good luck!

June
11 years ago

Re public speaking – I do a lot of presentations. There are no shortcuts, no cute tips, etc. What it boils down to is do you know your material SOLID? Also, do you know more than the people listening to you?

Anticipate questions – have answers stashed on a card in your hand. Practice what you will say when you DON’T know the answer. Determine whether you’re more comfortable taking questions at the end (thus not interrupting the zen-like flow of information from your lips) or if you prefer to be stopped when questions arise (giving you chances to insert more natural-feeling conversation into a planned piece).

Most of all – Practice, practice, practice. Don’t listen to 40 hrs of Bob Dylan, practice your talk OUT LOUD for 40 hrs. Not whispering, but projecting, like the real thing. Record yourself speaking (video is esp humiliating but will show you exactly where you need help). Practice not swaying. Go over every sentence you intend to say a million times. By the time you’re actually on, you’ll be slick and confident.

pickles & dimes
11 years ago

Cute pictures! Dylan’s dimple is so cute!

I really like Everyday Minerals. You can go to their website and request a free sample to see if it works for the shininess.

Presentation tip? Practice, practice, practice until you know your material front and back. I hate public speaking and I rehearsed every chance I got for my presentation (in the shower, in the car, in front of my husband and dog, etc.) until everything was second nature.

Denice
11 years ago

Makeup: Try the Almay Smart Shade Anti-Aging foundation. It gives light coverage that doesn’t make me look overdone, doesn’t settle into my wrinkles, and it matches with your skin tone, so you never have that line when you don’t buy quite the right shade.

Hurting Himself: My 3-year-old Gracie does exactly the same thing. If I come anywhere near her whenever she hurts herself, she just starts screaming “I’M ALRIGHT! GO AWAY!” with tears streaming down her face. It’s fine when we’re home, but I’ve been trying to explain to her that she really can’t do that when we’re in public. If you figure something out, let me know…

Kerstin
Kerstin
11 years ago

Concentrate on speaking really sloooowly. Really focus on that. And be super-prepared, but don’t have it memorized.

I use Clinique, but I want to try La Roche Posay — not a trillion dollars, but it is expensive.

Anne
11 years ago

WOW. You won the school-picture lottery this year!

Ashley
Ashley
11 years ago

I have to go against the grain here with regards to your presentation. Don’t overthink it, and don’t overprepare. That will just psyche you out. Know your stuff, sure. But the morning of your presentation, just try to distract and stay engaged in fun, relaxing and/or engaging activities. Listen to music. Read. Surf the web. Download new recipes. You got this. Also, if you feel a surge of nerves hit you in the beginning, just know that feeling will pass and you’ll find yourself slowly relaxing and loosening up. It happens to everyone, that rush of nerves. You got this.

MichelleH
MichelleH
11 years ago

Ok, query #1…..I am so excited to have an answer for this. I recently was having the same thing. Was using Bare Minerals after 2 years of struggling with bizarre adult onset rosacea and going through tons of products. My friend was coming to visit a few weeks ago, and I just didn’t want to feel haggy. Here’s what I did, and it made a huge difference.

Gently exfoliated with a buff puff which I haven’t used in years. Applied liberal amount of Burt’s Bees paraben-free Day Creme (at first I do get some redness but it calms in about 10 minutes…and my skin is EXTREMELY sensitive). Apply Maybelline Dream Liquid Mousse w/Airbrush Finish. I use a latex sponge. My skin tone was really crappy and I think we are the same age, so you know what I’m talking about…you only need the the tiniest drop of this stuff. If it seems like it’s settling into creases just buff it really gently. I hate feeling or looking like I am wearing foundation-it is so incredibly light, you don’t feel like you are wearing make up at all. It is not drying OR oily. I am in LOVE with this stuff and after three weeks of doing this routine it still looks good. It was a really big improvement over my previous regimen. I hope whatever you decide to try, that it gives you as big of a pick-me-up as it did for me. I was really feeling down about my age and appearance. Switching things up really helped.

#2–I got nothin’ but I am going to scour the comments and hope for some good recommendations.

#3–All I can say here is to know your subject like the back of your hand so that you are free to just be yourself and have things come out naturally. Don’t try to over-memorize or anything- just set aside the time you need to feel really comfortable with the material. Some self deprecating humor at the right times could help too :) If you get it off your chest from the start that you are nervous or not an experienced public speaker maybe you will feel better to move on from there. :) I think about 95% of the population can relate! Hope that helps!!

#4 Again, don’t know about this one….lately I’ve been trying to just almost ignore falls that seem non life threatening when my two-year-old started saying to himself “You ok??” after falling…but it sounds like you are already low-key and it is him doing the panicking…so, I don’t know. Good luck!

#5 I LOVE the pics. They look like they are about to go fetch some water from the well. I love it!

SJ
SJ
11 years ago

#1: I have no make-up suggestions because I don’t wear any.

#3: Like a few others have mentioned, you’d rather eat a live spider than give a presentation? OMG, your nuts lady. I always get myself so worked up right before, not on purpose mind you, and once I start speaking…I calm down. Then after the fact I’m so embarrassed by how nervous I was beforehand that I feel silly. I have no suggestions for you really other than just relax, and breathe! You’ll do fine, I’m sure of it.

#4: My younger son, when he hurts himself he gets so anxious and freaked out (BLOOOOD!) that he forgets to breathe. We had an incident like this just yesterday and he scared the shit out of me. But anyways, I really don’t have any suggestions on how to help other than maybe try (I know this sounds horrible) to ignore the ordeal all together? Unless he’s seriously hurt mind you. I find that when I don’t make a big to do about my son hurting himself, that he’s a lot less worried in the end. Hopefully that made sense…

#5: Those photos are great! Without a doubt because your kids are absolutely adorable!

Maggie
11 years ago

The only one I can comment on is the public speaking thing, which makes my hands sweat just thinking about it. So I have always sucked at it… shaky hands, red face, trip walking up to the podium, etc. Until someone wisely told me to turn it into a competition. (I would guess from your running, you’re competitive, at least a little?) Just think of it as a race and that your goal is to out-speak the rest of the suckers in your class. Honestly, focusing solely on doing better than everyone else – who are all nervous too, btw – is the only thing that gets me through public speaking!

crisitunity
11 years ago

2) Another agreement with the folks who like Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies series. Also, a book called Feed by M.T. Anderson was dystopian enough to scare the bejesus out of me. If you need motivation to move to that rural setting you mentioned, this is the book to do it.

5) That fence is utterly ridiculous.

Leah
11 years ago

Riley really earned that transformer ;)

For public speaking to repeat to self as much as needed:

So what if (insert fear here) happens, I can handle it.

And be super prepared – know more about your topic than what you are presenting.

Jas
Jas
11 years ago

It probably won’t help with the settling issue, but Bare Minerals does now make a Matte version of their foundation, which I switched over to. It really helped me with The Dreaded Shine. I don’t know what kind of moisturizer you use, but that might also be contributing to the shine factor/returning rosacea/settling.

I, too, hate public speaking, which makes it even more odd that I ended up working as a corporate trainer for years. The tips I have are: practice your speech to death, know your subject flawlessly, and have a prepared way to say something besides “I don’t know” when you don’t know the answer. I always went with “I don’t have that information now, but I can certainly find out and get back to you”. I was always the most nervous when I was not fully prepared, and that is also when I would trip myself up. Notes are good to have, but don’t write overly elaborate ones or you’ll find yourself going “uh..uh…” as you search your crowded note card for a piece of information or your next cue. Visual aids (such as Powerpoints) are a good tool to get the audience to focus on something other than your beet red face, and it helps you to think that they’re not all the time staring directly at you. Finally, wear something you feel super awesome in, because every little bit of armor helps.

Jan Ross
11 years ago

I am a recent convert to Arbonne and love everything about it, especially the fact that it is botanical. I’m older than you and constantly get compliments when I wear this make-up.

I used to be TERRIFIED of public speaking and all the good advice in the world doesn’t really help – the only thing that helps is to keep doing it. Eventually you get quite a bit less terrified. I still ALWAYS have to blow my nose when I am speaking.

SUPER attractive.

Coleen
Coleen
11 years ago

No weeping with turtles? VICTORY IN OUR TIME!

angie
angie
11 years ago

Pictures are adorable, no rec’s on shiny as I am a walking oil slick no matter what the temp, but I also had a NO LOOK! OWIE! child. It got to the point where she would slap away doctors/dentists’ hands if she thought they were going to hurt her or touch an owie. The only thing that worked (until I could adequately reason with her) was to force her to let us look at/bandage scrapes. Usually that meant that one of us held her down and the other one worked fast. Definitely not the best thing to do, but when confronted with bloody knees/fingers/etc. is was our only option.

Angella
11 years ago

I have no answers but MAN, do you guys make cute kids.

ClaireSuzanne
11 years ago

Oh! Public Speaking! The two things that irritate me most when watching people speak is watching them shuffle their feet and umm and ahh.

Plant your feet. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, DO NOT MOVE THEM (unless it is for a specific reason ie: to go back to your seat).

Also, when you feel an ummm or an ahhh coming on, just pause; don’t say anything at all. A brief moment of silence to collect your thoughts is definitely better than an ummm. And, I promise it’s not as long as you think it is.

Good Luck!

dcfullest
11 years ago

1. Write down every word of your presentation. Read it at least 5 times a day prior to the day you have do it. You will have it memorized, so you will look very natural and calm when you do it.

2. In the margins, write in a different color ink things like “calm down” “slow down” “breathe”. Seeing them is surprisingly helpful. Since they are in a different color ink, you don’t have to worry about accidentally reading them aloud! :)

Fiona
Fiona
11 years ago

I happened to mention to my doctor one day when there for something else that I was terrified of a public speech coming up. She said she never does public speaking without the help of Propranolol…one tablet 40mins before et voila, no shaking hands, sweaty pits etc. Miracle drug. Though she did caution that as it is a beta blocker, it can cause unwanted fainting, which would not be so cool. So best to practise on a day when you don’t need to go anywhere first.

Erika Peterson
11 years ago

For makeup, I’d recommend Jane Iredale mineral pressed powder. You can find it at Pharmica stores (Wallingford, Madison Park, West Seattle). I use it along with Lorac tinted moisturizer as a base. Neither are too cheap, but they last for a long time.

It’ll rock your world.

Erin W
11 years ago

I can’t help with the others but in re: # 3, (please don’t hate me) practice, practice, practice. I normally don’t have a problem with public speaking but I also prepare like a maniac. This week I had to give a presentation in class and I was not well prepared for it and my heart pounded and my voice shook and I was terrible.

If you practice that damn presentation until there is no way you will forget the words or the order or ANY of it, I can almost guarantee that you will do great. Also, don’t look at the audience. Scan the back row of the class, just above the student’s heads. This way it looks like you are looking at people but you don’t actually have to make the dreaded eye contact.

Also, you’ll do great. I”m sure of it.

Bridget
11 years ago

Re: public speaking. PRACTICE. Over and over and over and over. In your head at first, and then OUT LOUD. Practice in front of a mirror. Practice in front of JB. There’s no way you’re not going to be nervous when you get up there to present, but if you’ve practiced, you’ll just go through it on auto-pilot.

Also, sometimes when I’m really nervous about a presentation, I’ll write out everything I want to say first (tedious even for a 12-minute talk), and then slowly wean myself off of my notes. You absolutely want to be practicing WITHOUT YOUR NOTES before you give the presentation, but it can help with flow in the beginning.

Good luck!

Sarah
11 years ago

Public speaking: I have given umpteen bazillion presentations/talks/etc. now and the two best things that I can recommend are 1) practice, practice, practice and then practice some more just to be sure and 2) for your cards (or PowerPoint slide notes) create “touchpoints” within your talk that act as cues to remind you where you are.

I find that if I write a script and then stick to it all sweaty-palmed, I get mired in word order. If I practice TONS then I commit it to memory and the touchpoints emerge during practice. It’s all about structuring the presentation so that you can remind yourself where you are at key points and having the rest of the filler concepts fresh on the to of your head.

You can do it!

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