Ugh, I know what you’re talking about and I’ve never had even near the amount of discipline you’ve displayed.

You’ll be fine, it’s just getting back into the “better” habit for you.

Good luck (she says as she crams her mouth full of dried cherries.)

:)

Good luck! At least you’re clearly trying which is impressive in the self control department.

I realize this is probably obvious to the point of stupid but I too am a late night snacker and the only thing that works for me is to not have ANY snacks in the house. I stopped buying crackers, cereal, snack stuff in general. Now if I want to snack I have the options of: popcorn made on the stove with a bit of oil and salt (I have NO guilt about gorging on this) or eating a healthy snack/fresh fruit or actually cooking/baking. If i want it enough to bake cookies from scratch then gosh darn it I’ll have one of those too and take the rest to work/friends later.

Of course I’ll admit this makes it harder to pack the kid’s lunch every day.

Maybe you should get some really good snacks that you like and make it a small treat of something good rather than mindlessly eating kid crap. That said, I’m the one who sits all curled up on my couch watching those same shows and then whatever else comes on after when I can’t get my ass off the couch while I savor my little (sometimes not so little) chocolate treat with red wine. And, give yourself a break. You are in a transition phase.

I understand the reward thing – because dammit, you given up everything else – and I don’t know what the answer is. Like Melissa H said, the only way I keep myself from snacking is to keep it out of the house. I can justify anything when I want a snack.

This post made me want to give you a hug! It’s damn hard, being so disciplined about everything all the time. And I can hear you beating yourself up about this (which I do all the time, too), even as you list all that you accomplish every day. (The idea of preparing lessons for a five and two-year-old every day — on top of work — makes my eyes cross.)

For me, I’m only able to keep my eating under control if I’m completely engaged in a specific goal. And that goal can’t be losing weight. It never works. Right now, I’ve started to see results after three months of Crossfit, and I don’t want to sabotage all of that pain and sweat with a carb-filled late-night snack. I sort of want to see how far I can go. As much as I want to lose weight — and I feel great when I do — it never, ever motivates me to eat well or exercise in the long run.

I am in the same boat. My problem is between lunch and dinner, that’s when I snack, and it’s all bad. I know what I need to do but I just don’t do it. I was looking at pictures the other day from not too long after I had my son (8 years ago). I thought I looked fat then, I look so much worse now.

My real problem is I NEVER had to watch what I ate or exercise when I was younger. I was always super skinny. I hate the feeling now that I need to do these things just in order to look the way I used to (kind of).

You made us laugh with the crackers kicking your ass bit. Food as treat is a major issue around here. Maybe taking up knitting or crafting something or doing puzzles when you are watching TV at night would help?

I absolutely love that you wrote this post (even if I bitchfully think ‘oh yea, try facing down the FORTY lbs I need to lose…but I digress). I am so trying to care right now and it’s HARD. My favorite terminology from this post? Chemical Fuckery. What a perfect phrase, I’m going to keep that in mind next time I find myself carb-loading. Wishing you good luck with this challenge, and a little for myself too.

Well, I totally sympathize with you, I am fighting the same plight. I wish there was some great inspiration I could give, or some quick easy button, but alas I myself am out of those also. Like that motivational poster: Hang On.
It gets worse before better right? So maybe all that better is coming up asap?

I work out (almost) every weekday morning, getting up at 4:45am….I lost the pounds I needed during the last 9 months and am (almost) holding steady.
With the switch from “no school summer” to working at school 3 hours every day and doing office work at home around that I’ve had trouble adjusting. Darker sooner and colder weather haven’t helped either.
I just told my husband the other day that I have to figure out what I’m working out for – Is it to lose those last 3 pounds? or is it to stay fit and healthy?
when I finally figure that out, I’ll be fine. Believe it or not, THIS time I have the eating under control. It’s the consistent workout that’s got me hornswoggled.

I read a great essay once about the difference between discipline and dedication. (actually think it was in Runner’s World) Often very hard to act on discipline but easier to act on dedication. e.g. I “shouldn’t” be eating these vs I won’t eat these because I am dedicated to taking 10 minutes off my marathon time. Hard to get out of bed at 6am because running is good for you but easier if you have a race in 3 months. What can you dedicate yourself to?

It’s a continuous commitment I have to remind myself to make every day. Not letting food have all the control. Some days I’m more successful than others. But then I’m not cured.

Please take the CrossFit nutrtional brainwashing (sorry-“information”) with a grain of salt. You don’t need to beat yourself for eating the occasional refined carb. Also, caffeine is OK.

Obviously you don’t want to punish your children, but perhaps it would help to decrease the amount you’re family is buying? That way it’s not in the house tempting you.

Also, maybe have a specific treat to replace the eating. Oatmeal raisin cookies instead of chips/processed food for instance. Or more dried fruit–like the banana chips. Those are fairly healthy. They’re at least better than straight candy.

But when you’re done with your work for the day you could also have a specific activity you do as a reward: paint, crochet, modeling clay–something you’re doing with your hands so you can’t eat at the same time.

Knitting or crocheting can also be done while you watch a movie. I love to do that, personally, although I’m not very good at it.

The other day i posted about how to me, having the guts to train for a marathon was less daunting than than telling the world I want to lose 12 pounds. It’s crazy how challenging the food thing is. Good luck!

Oly guy, I want to respond to that. I’ve received very little nutritional info from CF — it’s there if I want it, they don’t push it. Believe me, I know the difference between an ‘occasional carb’ and what I’ve been eating, okay? I’m also pretty sure I know what’s normal for me caffeine-wise as opposed to what I’ve been consuming in the last several weeks.

I have no doubt that this would be one of my biggest issues if I ever had the chance to work from home. When I was on maternity leave and when I am at home on vacation, I eat WAY more often than I do when I’m at work and don’t exercise. I have good intentions and never act on them. It’s like I need the structure of working full time and taking care of the kids in the evening to get my shit together and exercise and eat right. The only two things I’ve found that help me with the urge to eat the house in the evenings are chewing enough gum to gross out a 10 year old or brushing my teeth as soon as I put the kids to bed. I know it sounds ridiculous, but having toothpaste breath makes almost all food taste like ass so it’s no longer tempting.

I’m a minight snacker. Especially on my chemo treatment days. ya. eat dinner around 5:30-6pm. up by 10 and downstairs for my first bowl of frosted mini wheats. back up to bed then by 1 am…. I’m downstairs for my 2nd bowl. by 5 am I’ve moved onto cinnamon toast and hot chocolate. The reason I haven’t gained 50 lbs is the chemo. I do not recommend it for weight loss.

Why is the food thing so friggin hard?? For me it’s the post-meal treat. I have to have it (or so I think). But in the end it only leaves me wanting more sweets, which leads me to feeling fat, sleepy and annoyed. You are so right though, it’s a choice. Not an easy one, but a choice nonetheless.

Is it the TV watching that causes it? Do you have the same cravings / behavior when reading a book or writing for (gulp) fun? Maybe you need to get started on that novel…

I’ve been up and down weight wise my entire life. At the moment I’m down. YES! I do really well when I am at work, but once I get home that is where the real struggle begins. Weekends are super challenging, so the thought of working from home terrifies me. I’ve found that if I keep a stash of snacks around that won’t tip the scales I do a lot better. Those Skinny Cow ice cream things are awesome. You can still treat yourself without sabatoging yourself. Also, I have found that I can sometimes squash the nighttime munchies if I have a cup of decaf coffee or tea.

I try to keep just “ingredients” on hand because I cook almost all my meals so I don’t technically have anything junky or craveable around. So why do I dip into handfuls of almonds, or raisins, or make a bowl of oatmeal almost every night? Is it culture, habit, stress, subliminal TV messages? We’d make a million bucks if we could figure that out.

Funny, but I never remember anyone routinely eating after dinner time as a kid. We used to wash up and Mom would say, “the kitchen is now closed!”

Your blog recently got me to try sugarless gum to stem the mindless eating. It’s actually worked a time or two, so thank you!

Because you’re a writer and a creative, resoureful person, you may already have done this, but…have you ever tried keeping a food diary? It’s a very interesting exercise, and one that has worked for me in the past, You could try it for a week—or maybe just after 9:30 pm for a month, or some variation like that. Good luck with everything as you transition.

..and of course you are “resourceful,” not “resoureful!”

In college a friend of mine had the same issue. . She swore by brushing her teeth at 8pm. It was enough to remind her not to eat crap late into the night. It works great for me too. But sometimes, I prefer a few indiscretions.

I’m in worse shape now than I was three months after I’d had a kid, and it’s all because of mindless snacking and lack of exercise. I know this. AND YET. The thing that terrifies me the most is that if “look awesome in a wedding dress” can’t be somehow manipulated into motivation, I don’t know what will, and that’s really scary. I need to do something, and soon, and forever, not just a few months.

Carb addict/alcoholic here. I don’t miss alcohol at all anymore, but I do miss the ability to just “check out” sometimes, which is kind of what alcohol did for me. I think that when I eat carbs that is probably what I’m chasing too — I think I told you once about the day I ate seven cupcakes in close succession.

That said, the knowledge that this is what I’m doing never makes me stop doing it. I started taking a medication that helps with the sugar/carb cravings, which are absolutely related to alcoholism. It does not eliminate the problem entirely, but it can help a little, like an extra tool to keep your in line. You still have to try to remember that one cookie almost always leads to another and another and another, just like alcohol. I struggle with this pretty much every day. So, you know, I hear you.

I have been training for the Portland Mary 10-10 and it has been hard but man I have loved it…but now during the taper portion I am feeling like crap and my knee is hurting and I am just a big old mess of “feeling sorry for myself” which results in a huge bowl of cereal & milk at 11pm, because ya’ know it is totally fine grubbing at 11pm right? Not! Anyway, I have heard every reason in the book to cut snacking, from keeping sweets out of the house (then I just eat spoonfuls of brown sugar) to buying things you don’t like (I eat them anyway)…and honestly the only thing in the world that works for me, is being honest that it’s ‘not’ working for me and I need to change. That is the one thing that really got me through marathon training, I mean I like to run and all but 16, 18, 20 mile runs? Hamster wheel crazy! To get through it I had to be honest with myself, I would think of Oprah and how she ran a marathon and yes she had a trainer but she still had to use HER own legs to run it…or I think of peeps who have professional chefs etc to eat healthy but it is till THEIR own willpower they need to use to not eat at 11pm, no one else can do it for you.

I love this passage* from my running book, it put my feelings into perspective, being honest about things that don’t make me happy and/or if I do shove cereal in my mouth every single night what am I going to do about it the next day so I don’t feel shitty? I have been a stay at home parent for 3.5 yrs now and I swear there are days I would kill to work just so I could have my routine of coffee & lean cuisine & healthy snacks all day…sad huh? To want to work to eat frozen food on a schedule :-)

*passage:
Training for and running a marathon is not a single event; rather it is an experience. It is a discovery of self that will forever change your perceptions, perspective, priorities and possibilities. You will meet yourself at what you thought were the boundaries of your potential and endurance, and watch in awe as they evaporate to reveal
only open expanse. To know that the only boundaries in life are those which we create ourselves is a discovery that can not be taught-it must be experienced. For once you have seen the view from the mountaintop, and living a life of voluntary blindness is no longer an option.

Maybe another marathon or half is in your future? You seemed to be happy training for long distances.

The food thing never gets easier, does it? I’m still trying to lose baby weight from #2, she’s almost 19 months, and I know to give it time. The fact that I ate cookies for dinner isn’t helping though. AND I KNOW THIS. Grrr…

IANAD, this is not advice, I am not expert in any way about any of this. But two nutritionists in different settings have told me that comfort-eating at night is sometimes a response to not having had a big enough breakfast (all in one go). Not that you haven’t had enough calories during the day or whatever, just that if you get a meal in a sitting, first thing, and then you pause for a few hours, it provides satiety late in the day. Something to do with insulin secretion. (The meal has to be the usual healthy nutrient-dense business, with enough protein and fiber that you can make it to lunch without crashing.)

I still haven’t gotten any better about this, mind you, because I hate eating first thing, so I don’t know if it actually works for me. But since it’s supposed to be evidence-based medicine, my personal testimony is irrelevant anyway.

You’re in a transition period. It involves changes and changing. Say to yourself, ok I’ve had my fun pigging out and now it’s time to develop a new healthy routine. Find a gimmick, a treat or reward to get going and stay with it. I’m lucky (I guess) because I can’t stay up past 9 pm. I put baby boy to sleep at 7 and read for an hour or two slumped into bed too exhausted to even make the trip to the kitchen. Sorry for the shite grammar.

I am the same way. I think some of it has to do with the fact that I know I have to get up in a few short hours and do the same shit all over again. It is like a compulsion to fit in as much pleasure as I can in my few sweet hours without a kid hanging off my leg. Beer, chips, dark chocolate Dove bits dipped in peanut butter…..CRAM IT IN BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL ALONE AND CAN ENJOY SOMETHING RIGHT NOW without anyone harrassing you or wiping their snot on you or needing something from you!

I’m intrigued with the idea of knitting or doing puzzles as people are suggesting. I don’t really FEEL like learning to knit, but it would be satisfying to do something with my hands. Maybe the Betty Draper smoking thing wasn’t such a bad idea!? (KIDDING!)

Have you ever thought that you need time to adjust? You are high strung (like me!!) and want to adjust instantaneoulsy…. it is not going to happen. Allow yourself some time to adjust from the working world to the at home world. You need it. I too is a Masters Degree Earned Stay At Home Mom…it is tough. Give yourself a time limit: a month,2 months whatever you need, AND THEN READDRESS what you need to do differently. You are too quick at the trigger girl….

I am exactly like you so I feel I must respond to this post. Obviously, a lot of us ladies are battling this same habit. I’m a SAHM with a very active 16 month old toddler who’s been very messy and whiny lately. For me, sugar is my only vice. Like, “Finally I can relax, don’t I deserve a little treat?” At least I have other sisters out there like you who can relate! Maybe we just need different “rewards”.

I think natural variations in dedication to nutrition and fitness are completely to be expected. Particularly after a marathon. I ran my marathon at the beginning of June and the remainder of June and July, I really checked out from running and the nutrition part went right downhill with it. I finally got the running back on track in August but I am just now getting a handle on the nutrition again. I mean we were eating ice cream here at least once a week, sometimes twice and not just oh little dish of vanilla either.

So I feel for you and I think it is completely understandable since you are going through so many changes. I think once you start seeing the results of xfit, you will be less likely to eat the crap naturally. And you know what to do and you know you can do it too.

First, off your blog is awesome. I read it all the time and think that you are a great writer and I enjoy your candid postings.

So many people posted already the ideas I’d have for you. The main one that I wholeheartedly agree with is not having any ‘fun’ stuff in the home. If I want something sweet or salty (outside of the healthy alternatives at home) I either have to make it from scratch or go out and get it. It definitely helps so much. It’s also better for your family in the end. As someone else posted it DOES make it harder to pack quickie lunches for kiddos but it’s all worth the effort in the end.

Have you tried smoothies? I have a VitaMix and swear by smoothies that have fruit, nuts and some veggies in them. I make a bit pitcher every morning and that serves as an easy and very healthy snack throughout the day for the whole family.

Good luck! You are such an inspiration … obviously this is something you’ll work through as you have so many other things.

I’ve been doing the same thing lately and feeling the same way about it. I was thinking a cleanse might re-set my system somehow. Have you ever done one? If so what did you think?

Fair enough-sorry about that. I have a lot of experience with CF and am leery about much of the coaching and nutritional guidance I have seen from them. I shouldn’t have pushed that on you.

I enjoy your blog very much and wish you all the best.

I have no advice about snacking at night (I drink lots of black decaf tea at night, a habit I evolved to help me deal with this problem, but this would not work well for everyone.) What I mostly wanted to say was that I have been love, love, LOVING your blog lately, which I’ve read for years but rarely comment on. Loving the homeschool posts. Loving the way you’re dealing with the house and with fitness and the kids. Loving the business side of things, and the exploration of what’s right for you. LOVE. Your writing has always been so good, but lately you just seem so secure and happy, underneath the small shit. It makes me feel better just to read you. Thank you so much for all this.

Clearly, you are not alone in your plight.

Like you, I’m pretty fit, and I doubt anyone would call me overweight. I look good in my clothes, I’m strong, I can run up big hills without stopping. And apparently I’ve gotten cocky, because for the past few months I’ve taken all that for granted and my late-night snacking has looked a lot like what you described. It makes me feel gross, and I’ve been so disgusted with myself every time I cave, but still managed to justify it in the moment, thanks to denial or apathy or self-destructive tendencies or whatever. So I’ve returned to the only thing that’s ever worked for me: the Four Days On, Three Days Off Plan. Monday through Thursday, I don’t eat any sugar (my personal crack) or drink any alcohol. Not an M&M, not a tiny glass of wine with dinner, nothing. Friday through Sunday, though – anything goes, no rules.

There’s something about going completely cold turkey, but knowing that it’s just for a few days, that makes giving up the crap much, much easier for me. I can do anything for a few days, right? And I stay in control, and that feels good. And the trick is that I find myself feeling so much better (energetic and thin and virtuous) by Friday, that when the weekend comes I don’t even want it as much. Not that I don’t still gorge out sometimes, but the habit becomes occasional rather than regular, and the pull toward consuming isn’t nearly as strong.

I am constantly amazed that this works for me, as I’m fully aware of the psychological tricks I’m playing on myself. But it does, so I’m gonna keep doing it.

I can say that I too am subject to late night snacking. But I’ve found something almost as satisfying as the cookies and crackers. Herbal tea – the really flavorful loose-leaf stuff. I make it so hot that it takes it a while to get cool enough to drink. I will put a teaspoon of honey in it if I’m craving sweets. I’ve used the tea to cut back on my caffeine too. You can even turn it into a calming evening ritual. So much of the late night treat thing is the comfort and reward of surviving another day, and a mini tea ceremony works wonders for that.

The only downside is it will eventually stain your teeth a bit. Then again, I think super white teeth look a little too fake to be attractive. :)

Been there. Recently. But seriously, I feel SO much better eating the *right* stuff. Like a different person. Happier, lighter (and I have a lot to lose), kinder. It dawned on me that chocolate tastes nice for a second. That’s it. Good food makes me feel good all day, and right now, I want that feeling *more* than I want 1 second of pleasure from the chocolate.

One of the few things that helps me with carb binges is to refuse to eat right out of the bag. I fill a small bowl from the bag and eat from that instead. I might go back to the kitchen and refill the bowl 3 times, but that’s still less than eating the whole bag.

Have you read Jillian Michaels’ Master Your Metabolism? I haven’t really gotten into it, but she talks a lot about these sort of hormonal roller coasters.

I hear ya sister…….for the last year I have been SO unhappy with my reflection in the mirror….and that unhappiness spills over into most areas of my everyday life. When am I going to STOP IT and gain control? How can 5 pounds kick my ass????? Good luck! Thanks for your blog – you make me LOL and the fact that you are willing to admit you are not perfect makes me love you even more.

You’re good with things when you have a goal right? So set yourself a goal. Maybe it’s just a weekly goal, maybe it’s to train for a half marathon, or even say a 5k or a 10k. There are all sorts of family walk/run 5k events happening in my area this time of year, maybe sign up for one of those. Do you want this to be an individual goal or a family goal? Which would work better for you?

And on a slightly unrelated note, I so appreciate how you get that what works for one person doesn’t work for everybody. So even when you were training for the marathon you weren’t all ‘everybody needs to do this’, I’ve given up on blogs when the blogger has gotten obsessed with one thing that I just don’t relate to.

Same here! If I could cut out everything I eat past 9pm I’d be so proud of myself. And 10lbs lighter.

i completely understand what you’re saying. i’m sooooooo capable of annihilating many munchie type goodies in the evening during the watching of the television. even crap i don’t LIKE. i’ve discovered that for me… i HAVE to keep my hands busy somehow… or they make themSELVES busy shoveling food into my mouth. bleah. drives big jim crazy but i’m usually handsewing, crocheting, etc, blahdy blah while i’m sitting. keeps food outta my mouth. :)

I just caught up on your last 10 posts yesterday and realized just how awesome and motivating you are.

As always, good for you for figuring out what you want and what you want to do about it.