A while ago, some generous soul posted one of my personal photos to Reddit:

pic

I don’t know much about Reddit but it must be a popular place judging by the number of folks who emailed me to be like, um, hey, your shit is on Reddit. Afterwards, the photo went on to make the rounds on places like Buzzfeed, The Daily What, Cheezburger, Funny or Die, and a bunch more. A Google search for “meta photobomb” reveals the thrilling uncredited contribution Dylan and I made to any number of ad-driven websites.

YOU’RE WELCOME, COMEDIC WEB PROPERTIES.

Anyway, because the photo generated so much discussion, I thought I’d take a moment to address some of the most common observations:

That arm tattoo is hideous. I’d maybe fuck her with the lights out if I didn’t know that thing was there.

You know the exotic and elaborate mating ritual of the bird family Paradisaeidae? Where in order to attract and impress a mate, a Bird of Paradise contorts its body into an orb shape then jumps and dances around its intended lover while making loud ticking noises? My arm tattoo is not at all like this bird dance. Which is to say, feel free to assume I’m not trying to use it to give you a boner.

LOL BABBY WANTS TO SUCK THAT TITTIE HES HANGRY MIIIIIIILK BOOBIEZ

I’d explain how my body wasn’t actually breastfeeding-compliant at the time, but I suspect your blank-eyed, suction-mouthed response would be: “…Boobies? Milk? MA-MA?”

This woman has an SLR and an external flash but didn’t bother to use a tripod? IMHO she should be beaten to death with sticks.

Is this a real thing? Hauling out a tripod for silly spur-of-the-moment shots? Maybe that’s why my 2011 Humorous-Yet-Artsy Baby Photo Calendar never took off.

UR KID LOOKS LIKE BOBBY HILL

Well that’s not really a very nice thing to say, but I have to admit that in this particular photo he totally does. In an equally unflattering photograph taken several years ago, my first son also oddly resembled Stewie from Family Guy:

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Nice eyebags. Ew.

They’re from all the sleep I lost wondering whether you, Dedicated User-Submitted Social Website Frequenter, would find this photo as sexually attractive as I’d hoped you would.

I never thought about the people in those meme-y images but now I sympathize and am thinking of maybe starting a support group. We shall meet for badly-staged amateur photos which we shall adorn with sans-serif kitty pidgin commentary. Later, there will be punch.

Lastly, while I’ve always thought that mirror photo of Dylan is hilarious, this remains my all-time favorite family photobomb:

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Junni
Junni
10 years ago

Oh lord.

Victoria
10 years ago

I don’t know how it doesn’t all hurt your feelings.
I know I’m an oversensitive type but I think I’d burst into tears over and over and over!

Meagan
10 years ago

I adore you. If anyone can handle being the victim of meme, it’s you. I think it’s a hilarious photo, because I’ve been following you for years now and I “know” you guys. Also, your arm tattoo rocks, and I currently have henna fading all over my very pregnant belly (37 weeks, wtf did that happen?) in spite of all the expert asshats that told you it was sure to be bad for the baby back when you were pregnant with Dylan.

Meagan
10 years ago

I just realized that “I adore you” sounds creepy. That was meant as a response to you’re “bite me” style counter comments, not a stalker-esqu statement. As mentioned, very pregnant right now and not sleeping a whole lot, so brain is not at 100%.

sooboo
sooboo
10 years ago

Dang girl, you really got discussed over there!

danielle
10 years ago

How rude of them! But my question is this: how do you know if your photos are on there other than people telling you?
Your kids are adorable by the way!!

Sandy
Sandy
10 years ago

Bwwaahahaha!!! Too freaking funny! Thanks for the coffee spit out all over my keyboard moment this morn!

jonniker
10 years ago

When I originally read the tripod comment on the site, I honestly died. Because … a tripod? All the time? Are we all just supposed to have TRIPODS set up at random in our houses in case a photo opp appears?

jonniker
10 years ago

Oh and I meant to add that I’m GLAD you loved The Passage, because I REALLY loved it, although the middle part with all the detail and the walls and the people and ZZZZzzzzzzzz. And then it gets AWESOME.

kcoldiron
kcoldiron
10 years ago

I really hope it didn’t hurt your feelings, because the first time I saw this photo I knew I would read your blog forever. It’s expressive of your persevering spirit (that bright smile!), love of kids and photography, and the plain old insanity of having young children, who can touch you anywhere and put their faces anywhere they like.

Also, I never noticed the Bobby Hill thing in that picture, but, um, snigger.

Emily
Emily
10 years ago

Your boys crack me up and JB looks hilarious in that photo!

Em
Em
10 years ago

Wow, Riley really does look like Stewie in that picture. Love it!

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

What the hell? I mean, WHAT THE HELL?!?! I haven’t wandered into reddit, but it’s clear there are plenty of idiots there. Pass.

Good on ya for your response. You crack me up!

Life of a Doctor's Wife

All those negative comments are idiotic. You have SUCH a good sense of humor about the whole thing.

Jaida
Jaida
10 years ago

God, people suck. You’re awesome (and I love your arm tattoo)

kali
10 years ago

I hit the ‘like’ button but that just didn’t cover it. Loved the photo bombs. Love your posts.

Pam
Pam
10 years ago

Damn! People are horrible. Come on, that photo is hilarious. However, from the looks of JB, I wouldn’t accept any jobs that involve staying at a snowbound hotel all winter. Just sayin. You are fabulous.

Stephanie
10 years ago

STEWIE!!!!

melanie
melanie
10 years ago

I know nothing of reddit but dang people are turds

Dawn
Dawn
10 years ago

You share parts of your life, blemishes and all, and many people appreciate your honesty and humor.

Mean people are to be pitied. They look funny and they fucking suck.

sheilah
10 years ago

HAHAHAHAHA.

That is all.

Lisa
10 years ago

If I were a guy, I would totally “do” your arm band, non-lactating, eye bag, non-tripod using, Bobby Hill off-spring producing self. You rock! And if those A$$ Hats were to read your blog they would feel the same way. You’re beautiful from the inside out – your readers know that because you’re not afraid to share the good and bad with us – and we love you even more for it. Keep on, keeping on!!

Erika
Erika
10 years ago

It never ceases to amaze me how rude people seemingly like to be on the internet. It makes me wonder just how horrible their lives must be to put so much negativity out into the world.

Halyn
Halyn
10 years ago

I still can’t get past the part where someone thought it was ok to take one of your photos and post it on another website. Se habla BOUNDARIES? I mean, I get that when we post stuff on flickr or facebook, we do give up a lot of control, but still. Rude.

Anyway, you are handling this really gracefully. Posts like this one really remind me (not that I NEED a reminder) why I’ve kept reading you all these years, and why your blog is the first one I check everyday.

PinkieBling
PinkieBling
10 years ago

Ugh, Life on the Internet. You really do have a great attitude about it. Thanks for being badass enough to share your life with us despite the bullshit that goes along with putting yourself out there. We love you! Also, the Riley-as-Stewie photo will continue to crack me up all day.

Aviva (omyc.wordpress.com)

Jeez Louise. Great, funny response to an unbelievable load of rude BS. And btw, the photo is awesome.

Kris
Kris
10 years ago

What the fuck is this Reddit horseshit and who the fuck stole one of your personal photos & put it there?

Agree w/all the others – you’re being waayyyy too cool about this. I’d be threatening to hang a bitch by her inverted nipples for stealing one of my personal photos.

June
10 years ago

He *does* look like Stewie! I love it! Is JB practicing his levitating trick?

Is it ironic that I was taking a pumping break at work while I read this?

BabyKMama
BabyKMama
10 years ago

I love the mirror photo! And you have the cutest haircuts, btw!

d.g.
d.g.
10 years ago

People are so stupid. It’s just a waste of time to fret over the ignorant comments of internet trolls. Glad you’re not letting this bother you. I’ve decided that for every one intelligent person on the internet, there are 100 morons that can barely figure out how to turn a computer on, and unfortunately, they are always the vocal ones.

I actually saw this picture last week. It was either on Digg, or popped up from StumbleUpon. Can’t remember which. There were no comments, though.

You’re lovely and your kids are adorable. The end!

Olivia
Olivia
10 years ago

And what all those comments tell me is that I am not observant at all. I had to scroll up and look at the pic again and again to see what the hell those commenters were talking about.

Kristin
Kristin
10 years ago

I was one of the e-mailers that couldn’t believe I saw your picture somewhere else… then I saw the comments and realized why I never look at the comments on any of those sites. They are ridiculous and you are such an inspiration in the way you that have handled this. You couldn’t be more awesome.

Trish
Trish
10 years ago

Could you please post 4 or 5 times a day? I know you’re busy raising a family and working…..but your blog and articles at The Stir make my busy days seem a little bit better and somehow melt the stress away! Thank you for sharing your humor and life with all of us readers.

Christen
Christen
10 years ago

As usual, your responses are WAY funnier/wittier than any supposed “burn” the original commenter attempted. Good for you for having a sense of humor about it and calling out these idiots.

Also? That last photobomb is fucking hilarious.

Kristin
Kristin
10 years ago

Wow–those comments are mean! I didn’t think any of those things at all. Personally, I love your arm tattoo. I wish I could get one, but it would just emphasize how large my arm is. And I think you are a hot mama–so pssh–forget all those haters!

Just to let you know I understand–I am a middle school teacher. Let me tell you we go through this abuse all. the. time. Let me tell you, I love the drawn pictures of me on facebook. It’s great.

Brianna
Brianna
10 years ago

I was actually impressed that MOST of the comments seemed to be ‘OMG Funny/HOT mom!’ and people telling off other people ragging you about the camera because you knew how to bounce the flash. (“You do realize the fact that she is bouncing the flash means she is knows more about photography than the vast majority of people with DSLRs?)” BOOM

I mean, hey, 60% pretty positive comments on Reddit is pretty good! Thank god it wasn’t 4Chan or something. =)

Taylor
Taylor
10 years ago

I saw it on the Chive and wanted to e-mail you right away but saw on twitter you knew about it. Most of the comments I read were about how hot you were as a mom, which I thought was pretty cool. Personally I love the photo and wish I could look that good after 2 kids, or any kids even!

MichelleH
MichelleH
10 years ago

Wow, way to take it in stride. That is all you can do, I think. Do you know who did this and has their painful death been arranged? (so yeah, I guess you could always do that too-I would).

I barely read the comments sections ANYWHERE anymore because they is filled with shit like this. But hey maybe it will get you some more admirers who will come and read in support all your fabulous endeavors like the rest of us.

KP
KP
10 years ago

You really have to wonder if some of these people, after years and years of posting nasty, thoughtless shit on the internet, actually look up from their computers one day and think…

“My god. I am little more than a glorified ape, pelting the rest of humanity with digital turds and banana leavings, with not even the rank, urine-soaked, animalistic stink of my body to remind people that ten seconds ago, I was here, and ALIVE.”

Yet I’m willing to bet these same people post poorly-photoshopped Hipstamatic prints with lyrics stolen from Top 40 songs about how they still love someone they are no longer with, and it hurts, real deep down- like crabs…but burnier.

Laura @ the Diniwilks
10 years ago

If this had happened to me, I’d be willing to completely ignore the moronic comments and focus on the hot mom comments. You look great, and that is an awesome shot!

Very Bloggy Beth
10 years ago

Wow, people can be real shits on the Interwebz sometimes.

Brian
Brian
10 years ago

Well said! I read reddit every day but somehow missed your 15 minutes of fame.

Cacklin Rose
Cacklin Rose
10 years ago

God that pizza looks good!

Tasha
Tasha
10 years ago

I think it’s an adorable pic and if it was of me and my son it’d be framed :)

tanya
tanya
10 years ago

I think it’s a fantastic picture, and it totally cracked me up.

Having read your blog for 7 (holy crap!) years now, I feel attached and bothered that anyone would say those sorts of things to/about you. But hey, fuck ’em.

Jennifer
Jennifer
10 years ago

I went to reddit to see what you were talking about and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT. AT ALL. It sucks to be in your 30’s and already unhip. :p

Sirena
Sirena
10 years ago

Your writing is as funny as ever, and I love how good-natured you are about those comments, but the comments are SO mean and nasty! And the thought that this is something no one would ever say to your face – it’s so easy to drop a nasty little bomb in the comments.
Then again, you managed to create a really funny post out of it. Bird mating dance! Love it.

Cheryl
10 years ago

I have a couple of tatts myself, and you bet your ass I didn’t get them to impress other people.

Personally, I’d bet most of the people making those comments are either WAY too intense to even have any friends, or are twenty- to forty-year-old men living in their mothers’ basements.

Oh, and since I just gave birth three months ago…my goal is to look as good as you after two kids! My second son did a number on my lower body (read butt, tummy and legs). Once PT is done, I’m heading to the gym and emailing you to get some tips! <3

Anonymous
Anonymous
10 years ago

Personally, I love that photo. You bring beauty and hilarity to motherhood.

Pam
Pam
10 years ago

Personally, I love that photo. You bring beauty and hilarity to motherhood.