Jun
22
People told me I would know when it was time, but we never really did for sure. I can tell you that a few months ago we noticed that Dog was … the best words I can use are winding down, which makes me think of clichéd metaphors involving dying clocks, but that’s exactly what it was like. She was slowing down. She started coughing and making messes in the laundry room where she sleeps at night. The vet told us her heart was failing, which was creating excess fluids she was too weak to fully expel from her lungs. They gave us antibiotics and not much hope. She was a very old dog, after all.
In the last couple weeks something changed in her. She stopped wagging her tail, she stopped circling the kitchen looking for dropped treats, she stopped expending any energy at all. She barely moved all day long. I wouldn’t go so far as to say there was a sense of despair about her, but there was a sort of silent, sad, enduring resignation. She would eat, but with no interest whatsoever. She had lost so much weight she had this awful gaunt appearance around her back, like her flesh was barely covering her spine.
Last night JB walked her to the park that’s about a block away, and she nearly couldn’t make it back. I watched her, later in the evening, as she lay on the carpet nearby; you could see the effort of her chest rising and falling. I put my hand on her and I could feel her watery, labored breathing. Her overworked heart.
She slowly put one paw up to touch my hand, a broken version of the robust and silly Dog handshake she used to do, and I guess I did know, or maybe I didn’t for sure, maybe I’m just trying to convince myself. We can’t know what she really felt like, we can’t know what she would have wanted. But I believe she had passed some sort of point of no return, that her days would have become increasingly painful. Exhaustion, suffocation, drowning.
The vet helped ease her out of this life today. JB and I were there to comfort her and pet her as she went. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done. Oh, Dog.
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This is a lovely tribute. So sorry for your loss.
Oh Linda. To your last sentence – I know. It is the worst. As awful as it was, it was good you were there with her. I am sorry for your family’s loss – she was such a great dog. Tears fall for you all.
My heart aches for you. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
:-( So sorry to hear. Big hugs to you and the whole family.
So very sorry for your loss, but it sounds like she was ready to go, and to make her stay any longer would have been torturous for everyone in the family. I know you all will miss her so very much, just like I miss my best girl kitty Pixel who I had for 14 years, but know that you gave her a wonderful life and that she’s in a better place now, up at the Rainbow Bridge, happy and healthy and playing, and watching over you and your family. Hugs to all of you from me.
Oh Linda…when I saw the title of the entry I didn’t want to open it but I knew…Ashley was such a good girl…so patient with the boys…I’m setting here sobbing…we just made the same decision in March…it’s so hard but eventually, so they tell me, looking back will bring a smile not a tear…hugs to you and the boys…all 3 of them.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I hope you and JB and the kids are doing okay. What a beautiful dog. Thanks for sharing her life with us. As a dog owner myself, I know what you are going through. Dog is a lovely golden ray of light now.
I am so so very sorry.
So sorry for your loss Linda. Your lovely tribute makes me feel so guilty about my dog, whom I frequently scan (with hopeful anticipation) for the slightest sign that it may be her time. I won’t miss the fur all over the place, or the subsequent vacuuming, or the click clack of her nails just when I’m falling asleep, or the vet bills, or paying insane amounts of money to a sitter when we vacation, or the whining to be walked in the dark of winter, but I guess I have to admit, someday I will miss the dog. Yours too.
Linda & JB–I am so very sorry for your loss of Ashley. I remember those feelings well and there’s nothing quite like it. Wishing you peace and comfort at this time.
So, so sorry. Our furry family members leave such a huge hole when they go.
I’m so sorry. Good dog.
Oh Dog…..I’m am so so sorry. You were a Very. Good. Dog.
This brought tears to my eyes. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope that you and your boys (all three of them) can find peace in the days to come. I’ll be thinking of you all.
I’m just a reader, and even I have fond memories of Dog: JB singing a song about/to her in the shower, with her wagging her tail happily outside the curtain; The Adventures of Dog and Cat watching you put a treat into an empty box and Dog getting the box stuck on her sweet little face… man, I’m going to miss Dog. I still miss evil Cat. My thoughts are with you all.
So sorry for your loss. I’m blubbering at work for you. I know Dog will be sorely missed.
Oh, what a good Dog she was. I’m really sorry.
Looks like a couple people beat me to posting the Rainbow Bridge poem. I truly believe in it. So sorry to read about Dog, but I know you didn’t come to the decision lightly.::Hugs for you all::
I am truly sorry to hear this. I dread this with our pups.
oh, I am so sorry. Letting pets go is the hardest part of having them in your life. It seems as though you were a wonderful family for her to have had, for so long, and I’m sorry for your loss and the sadness.
Tears! What a good life you guys had together!
Thanks for making me bawl first thing this morning. I am so sorry and I know exactly what you are going through. She was lucky to have such a loving family to share her life with. I am so glad you and JB were there when she crossed over. I am confident she was at peace. Hugs to you all!
Oh Linda
:(
She was a good and faithful friend.
I’m so awfully sorry.
Oh, no. I’m so sorry. Dog was beautiful, and I’m sure that he was thankful for your help at the end. We had to do the same for our family dog just over a year ago, and… yeah. It sucks. No good words for it. Just that I’m sorry, and I know.
You’re right though – all dogs definitely go to Heaven.
RIP, Dog. You did the right thing. She’ll thank you when you all get to where ever it is we go next. . .
I am so sorry Linda. OMG she was such a good dog, huh?
*she. Sorry, what a crap typo.
I have a 9-year-old Black Lab who has been living with congestive heart failure for about a year now. She’s on 4 medicines (2 for that, one for arthritis pain and one for thyroid). That just broke my heart. So sorry you had to go through that.
I’m so sorry. We had to do the same thing at the end of February. One of the worst things I’ve ever had to do. Are you boys like my girls – asking when you’ll get a new dog? Broke my heart every time they asked. And yet, we now have 2 puppies.
Trying not to cry at work over a Dog I never knew…it was the doggie smile picture that sent me over the edge because I love labs and goldens and that is such a classic lab picture. Sweet girl. I’m so sorry you had to go through this but happy for her that she had a really good life with you guys.
I don’t even like dogs, but I have tears. Sorry for your loss.
Like many others, I’m tearing up at work over a great dog that I never met in person. I’m so sorry for your loss, and wish that Ashley now rests in peace.
I’m so sorry! I had to let my dog go in December and it was awful. Knowing that you did the right thing unfortunately doesn’t do much to ease the pain…Take care.
Oh, Linda. I am so sorry. If it helps, I think it’s wonderful (weird word to use for a subject like this, sorry) that she put her paw on your hand and you knew. We had a pet that did that to me, and I knew, but I didn’t want to accept it and let it drag on for a few more days… painful, horribly sad days that looking back, I wish I’d had the courage to spare him. I’ve never stopped regretting that, and I’m glad you didn’t make the same mistake. Much love to all of you.
I’m so sorry. Although you won’t believe it for a long, long time, you’ve done the right thing. Helping your dog leave this world is one of the hardest and saddest things ever. But it is also the greatest act of kindness you can perform. The utter sadness will wane some day, and you will have all those wonderful memories to laugh about with your family.
Trying not to cry at work. I’m so sorry for your loss, Linda, & that of your family. My lab is 9 & healthy, but I dread that day. Healing thoughts over the interwebs …
I’m so, so sorry, Linda — my heart aches for you, JB, and the boys today. Sending gentle thoughts your way.
Oh Linda I am so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a beloved family member and oh how hard it is to say goodbye. Thinking of you and your family.
I’m so sorry. Lots of love to all of you.
Oh, this is devastating. I am so, so sorry. Thinking of you guys.
Oh, Linda. I am all tear-y reading this. I am so sorry. You did the kind thing, the right thing. It’s never easy. Never. But I think you did the right thing.
For what it’s worth, I think if you waited until there was absolute certainty, you would have waited too long. This is kinder. It is.
For what it’s worth, my best friend is a vet and she has always said that the day it’s easy for a vet to put an animal down is the day they should stop being a vet.
It’s hard. It’s so hard.
Really sorry to hear that ! I am sure she is in heaven !
on an unrelated note — you are on This is Photobomb by The Cheezburger Network. Not sure how you feel about your photograph being used on the interwebs. Just an FYI.
MM.
I’m so sorry about Dog…but glad she’s no longer suffering. She looked like she was an incredible member of the family. I just love the picture of Riley in her bed. Good Dog!
Ignore the last comment — not about doggie heaven. the other part.
i knew you’d talked about that particular photo and was trying to locate that post but left the comment before i managed to find it. don’t mean to be a pain during a difficult time.
*sorry*
Sitting at my desk at work with tears in my eyes for your family. But you loved her and she loved you guys. And that’s all that really matters.
Heartbreaking. Especially since she looks almost exactly like my dog. He’s only 5 now, but knowing that one day we’ll have to go through the same thing just kills me. So sorry for you guys.
I am so so sorry for this. My heart goes out to you.
What a heartbreaking post. I’m so sorry for your loss.
“Dogs aren’t our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” – Roger Caras
And another good one (by Helen Keller):
“What we have once enjoyed
we can never lose;
All that we love deeply,
becomes a part of us.”
Such a good dog with such a happy life.
So sorry for you all, but I’m sure you did the right thing, hard and awful as it was.
xoxo
I’m so so sorry. It hasn’t been that long since I had to go with my own lovely dog and have her put to sleep (there is no adequate euphemism for this, I hate “put to sleep” but I hate all of the other euphemisms too). I had tried to mentally prepare myself for it, I had wanted to be strong for my dog, and whisper comforting (I hoped) things to her in those moments. But at the crucial moment, when she whined, because she could feel it (even though the vet had said she wouldn’t feel anything), I became a sobbing mess, and I wasn’t how I had hoped I’d be at all. It haunts me (obviously). Maybe I’ll be better next time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. But Dog felt loved and comforted every minute; maybe that will bring some small bit of ease to your heart.