Is it innocent hand holding or did he have something more in mind? I remember being that age. ;)

My son is almost 21 now. Last week i found baby pics of him. I was only 18 myself. It was like looking at pictures of strangers. Beautiful, strange children. I wondered what they could have been, if only i’d made different choices. And i wept.

This is beautifully written, Linda. Thanks.

This is a little bit eye-opening. I don’t mind the weeping over little things, etc. but I think dad’s side of the family does and they may try to rush him into being a man. There should be such a rush to make them grown up so fast. It happens so quickly anyways.

I know the feeling, because it just happened, just now. Wow. I have a 15 year old who passed me in height years ago…and I see him being responsible and smart and still a sweet little boy inside and all I can think is how the days are ticking ticking ticking and soon he won’t live with us anymore and I want to kick myself for ever wishing he’d be able to buckle his own seat belt or fall asleep without me tickling his back. Everything I rushed him to be.

Dude, Randy, that’s like the third skeevy comment. Sheesh.

Beautiful!

Leah, never my intent!

Wow, thank you. Reading this makes my heart hurt.

I hear ya sister!

My son is only turning 2 in a little over two weeks and I worry about feeling this way all the time.

I love who he is now so much that hope I don’t see that person fade away (even a little bit) and even though I try to do as much as possible to keep all his sweet little quirks present in him, I worry I rush him too much to be a “big boy.”

When he had yet to meet the world he would get fidgety when I would move into a position that changed his – reclining with his hands behind his head,legs stretched out and ankles crossed. He is still exactly like that.

So bittersweet it is…sweet because you know you’ve raised a good human being and bitter because your baby is now a little boy

So beautifully written — I have tears in my eyes as I look at my baby boy now an inch taller than me – at 14. Like to think I didn’t rush it but know deep down I did.

Beautiful post.
My oldest son is 20 and I have tears in my eyes, thinking of him as I read this. With my youngest son, now 6, I’m doing my best not to rush him. It will happen fast enough. Too fast for this momma.

Wow. That just made me tear up….you are right..too often we rush them…and then you look back and wonder where the time went…sometimes I find myself thinking “I can’t wait until they (insert skill)” and then I try to remind myself not to wish my life (and theirs) away….its not easy to do when you are tying soccer cleats or picking up cereal bowls for the eight millionth time…but its a reminder we all need from time to time…so thank you for that…

A good/bad week for me to read this. I am feeling all the feelings! (And maybe crying a little.)

Those words brought tears to my eyes! My boy will be turning 18 in less than a month and is off at college now. Though I can still see glimpses of the little guy he once was it amazes me to see the man that he has become. All while I blinked, apparently. It goes so fast.

Wow, that was beautifully written. I have had all of those same feelings so much lately- my almost 3 year old just started at a preschool, he’s never been away from home much. And I kept thinking “I hope the world finds him as sweet and funny as I do” and worrying about all the little habits he has that other people might find annoying, not endearing. And then I keep thinking of all the ways that this is going to be SO great for his independence and socialization and he maybe won’t be so shy anymore and will maybe not be afraid to be away from us anymore….and then I want to cry thinking about a time when those things may not be true.

This brought tears to my eyes too. I was hard on my little girl tonight while she was getting her pajamas on, and I had to stop to remind myself that she is just SO little. I know how badly I’m going to miss this time someday.

Thanks for sharing.

Stoppit, you’re going to make me want another baby.

I’m sitting in a hotel room, hours from home and exhausted from a long day of driving and exploring, watching my 13 year old daughter spin and spin in the desk chair across the room. I was about to fuss at her, tell her to be still, act her age, but, no. Let her spin, let her make herself dizzy until she falls over in giggles. Let her be my little girl a little longer. Thank you for the reminder.

Wow, Linda. You always manage to touch a nerve. Thank you.

I’ve been reading you for years now, way before I had a little guy of my own, who is also quite a softy. I have another one the way and I’m not sure if it’s a boy or a girl, but you make me love the idea of being a mom to boys. I’ve loved your honesty, humor, and most of all watching your boys grow from afar. This passage is perfect and my heart grew heavy b/c I know that this will be true even though my guy is only 2. Thank you for sharing your life and family with people like me.

Tears running down my face. I finally stopped rushing them and it’s already so late. xoxo

My baby boy is 32 this year, falling in love again, and it will kill us both if it doesn’t work out. He’ll come to me, that same little boy that you’re raising now. They never, especially boys, grow up so much that you won’t be able to see that little boy still. Don’t worry, he’ll always be there.

Oh god, you guys are KILLING me – and I already have a sinus headache. My son just turned 10 (10!) – it’s ridiculous, and he is on the cusp, and I want him to get older, but BUT…. Basically, everything you said made me cry, That was beautiful – you are talented. The air just got heavy over here.

love this.

I have a 23 year old son, so the author’s words ring very true for me. Although I try very hard not to rush my still little girl (9 years old), she is growing up and will soon vanish, too.

Both you and the quote leave that feeling you speak of. Without children of my own, I do still have a similar feeling as I watch the elementary students I teach gain independence and move on from their primary years. Thank you for this post.

Is someone cutting onions in here? Maybe just my allergies flared up all of a sudden.

While making dinner tonight I asked my 12 year old son to do something and he responded with that annoying teenagery sigh/grunt and I snapped at him to quit acting like a baby and be a grown up. I need to remember it’s not time for him to be a grown up yet!

Wow, I am definitely teary eyed after reading that. As emotional as that made me, it’s a good reminder not to rush thing with my 14 month old. Thanks for that.

I read that passage and the air whooshed out of me. Thank you for a beautiful post.

Wow – wasn’t expecting tears with my morning coffee. My “baby” is turning four next week and your post completely echos what I’ve been feeling.

Thank you. I really needed that put into words. No more rushing for me.

My squeaky, anxious, wonder-filled boy is now confident and deep-voiced and sixteen. He towers over me, a head taller than his tall mom. He drove me home from work the other evening. And now you come along and do this and I don’t know WHEN I’ll stop sniffling and feeling all choky in my throat, and it’s clearly all your fault. (Your description of the tangible air in those intense moments is exactly apropos and I can tell that it is because you just gave me one.)

Such a beautiful quote, thank you for sharing, I really needed to read it today (I’m also in tears over my coffee). It’s so hard not to rush this time when they are 4 and screaming and knocking things/little brothers over all the time and waking you up at 5:30 and and and… but then they giggle and grab hands and forgive so easily and their faces shine with hope and love and innocence. Motherhood is so heartbreaking.

Linda, you are such a wise, wonderful mother. I wish you had been around when I was a young mom. I’m now a grandmother and your insight just amazes me, as well as your appreciation of each milestone. Every child should be as lucky as your sons are…

“Do you know how sometimes you read something, and it’s like the air in the room grows heavy? Like something you can touch, like you’re held fast by the words.”

“But oh, he can be as tender as the milky base of a grass stem.”

Yep.

I don’t know….my 15 y/o son noticed last night that he’s a full head taller than me. And NOW is when I want to freeze him forever. He’s such a man-boy these days…I see and hear a man, but the flashes of impish boy are still bright. I ENJOY him so much more now that he’s fairly self-sufficient and capable. I can see the cute little guy he was in pictures but I wouldn’t go trade with these lovely days of high school.

I see this happening. Happening with my own 6 year old son. He has moments of pure child and they are becoming ever more interspersed with glimpses of the man he will become. He has turned from a toddler with a seemingly endless supply of tantrums into a boy. A boy that playfully stomps around and digs in the dirt one minute and then turns around to gently help his little sister up a hill. He is an amazing child and I’m afraid of the day that child has vanished into the ether.

So sweet! My four year old still likes to hug and kiss his friends, and I can see the uncomfortable ness on their face but I can’t bear for him to stop.

Linda, your words just had the same effect on me that Rick Bragg’s had on you. The air in my office is now heavy because of this post. Now I want to rush the day of work so that I can get home and not rush my boys to grow up. Thank you.

Wow – that quote brought tears to my eyes. I’m the mom of an almost 4 year old boy. Thanks for sharing this and for your words.

I feel the same way about my 16 year old man/child. I watch my 4 year and want to shake my fists at the sky and yell, “Make time stop.” Because I know it is inevitable for him as well and all children. Beautifully written as always.

This is amazing, and true, and heartbreaking. I hear myself doing this all the time: “You’re a big kid! You can do this yourself!” And then… she can do it herself. And she won’t ask me to help anymore, and it will break my heart.

I want to run to my son’s school right now and give him a hug.

He will go up to any child and start playing with them, and I have worried that someday someone will be rude to him and not let him play. I tell myself it’s ridiculous to worry and when it happens he’ll deal with it just fine. Glad to know I’m not the only one with that kinds of worries though.

I struggle with this with my girls (12, 13). I want them to be responsible but not grow up yet. I had them at 20 and 21, and for them I want them to spend their 20’s exploring and seeing everything they can in this world. And then worry about boys. I want them be the age they are and just enjoy it. I don’t want to rush them either.

OH the posts like this! You always go right for the heart on these. Im having a hard enough time not just up and quitting my job so I can be a part of every minute they still let me be in (not that quitting is an option). It is happening so fast but I keep telling myself that at least i realize it now while he’s 7 and not when he’s 27.
Becuase yes, he is fast becoming “everything Ive rushed him to be”

I’ve been a reader and fan of yours for several years….but never a commenter. Rick Bragg compels me to do otherwise. He’s my absolute favorite. As a mother of two young boys and one who dreams of moving to a simpler, more beautiful hometown and lifestyle, I’m cheering for your family every step of the way.

Bless his little, pea-pickin’ heart…! I hope he never loses that thing that makes him want to hold girls’ hands. You’re doing something right, Mama. ;)

Ok so now I’m crying at work. My son is 14 now, talking about getting a job and a motorcycle and college and … girlfriends. He will be gone living his own life soon and I will be seriously missing the 4 year old that wouldn’t get off my lap.

My 5 year old cries every day entering kindergarten. I keep telling his dad someday he’ll be a man, right? He’ll have stubble and swagger and he won’t hang onto my leg forever. And as much as I want him to happily skip into school, I don’t want to rush the time when HE couldn’t let go of ME.