Aug
22
August 22, 2007
Okay! You guys asked, I’m going to answer. For anyone who asked multiple questions, I pretty much picked one at random–if there’s anything you’d really like to know that I didn’t address, you’re always welcome to email me.
Have you got any particular preference on whether Smalltopus is a (healthy & beautiful) boy or a girl? — Jo
Well, sort of. Not really. Yes. No.
Honestly, I feel like we’ve got a win-win situation set up, because if it’s a girl: awesome! Oh, those wonderful little girl clothes, the pigtails, the experiencing of parenting both a girl AND a boy, hooray! On the other hand, if it’s a boy: awesome! Hey, I already know how to do the scrotal-poop wipe! And two brothers growing up together, and aw, another little boy, the idea just kills me.
I am maybe wishing just the tiniest bit for a girl. But I’m also super-excited about having another boy.
Did you ever think you would be where you are today when you were younger? — Ashley
Oh hell no. I was too busy listening to Bauhaus and praying that by some mystical transformation, I would shed my tiresome human attributes and my true self—based entirely on the descriptions of the more attractive vampires in Anne Rice’s novels—would emerge.
Honestly, it’s hard to remember what sorts of future-focused thoughts I might have had back then, but I know I never pictured being married or being a parent. I think I was so busy rebelling against, well, everything, that I never could have imagined my life as it is now. I’m sure I would have thought it sounded boring as hell. You know, since it didn’t involve being burned by daylight and all.
Are there any blog topics/trends that annoy you? — hello insomnia
Twitter annoys me, but I need to get the hell over that because hey, if I don’t like Twitter? I don’t have to look at Twitter. My only true blogging pet peeve is when someone says they have Really Huge Enormous Earth-Shattering News to Share, but O sorrow, O lament, they cannot quite yet, for mysterious reasons that we cannot know. I love hearing someone’s good news–their book deal, their knocked-upedness, their fancy new hooter implants, whatever–but the whole blogging-cocktease routine drives me up a wall.
How did you and JB meet? — KT
We were both working for a company in Corvallis, Oregon, where I was the receptionist and he was a purchasing rep. I thought he was the biggest asshole on the planet, mostly because he would always barge aggressively through the receptionist office and never bother giving me the time of day, so of course I developed an enormous crush on him.
We eventually got marginally flirtatious with each other, and when I quit the job and moved to Portland we started up an email relationship that eventually resulted in a full-on makeoutfest at some drunken party back in Corvallis. We’ve been together ever since that fateful night when JB leaned against a doorway at 11:30 PM on New Year’s Eve, looked me in the eye, and said, “We might as well do the kiss now, instead of waiting for midnight.” HOT, people. HOT.
Are you a “picker” of all things pick’able? People are pickers or they aren’t. Which are you? — honeybecke
Oh boy, I feel like I should know what this means, but I don’t think I do. If it means do I like to make decisions, the answer is no. I’m one of those annoying wishy-washy “Whatever sounds good to you” people, for the most part.
My nosy question is if you’re going to attempt a VBAC, or go with a planned c-section. — Chaya
There are some risk issues specific to my medical situation that are reduced with a second C-section. Without going into the details, a VBAC isn’t a good option for me, and while that does make me sad, it is what it is. We’ll have a planned C-section around the end of January.
Do you secretly hope for a little girl this time round? — Anna
Yes. No. Sort of.
I am, a bit. Raising a girl seems a lot more frightening than having another boy, because . . . I don’t know, princess Barbies and Bratz and self-esteem and oh my god have you seen what middle school girls are wearing these days, etc. But still. A little girl. That would be something.
(But so would a boy!)
You’ve been very generous and honest with us. I’m curious as to whether that has had a price. Do you ever regret sharing so much of yourself? — sooboo
Not really. Only when I think about some future plans with freelance writing and being more open about who I am and who I’ve worked for. There are some things I’ve shared that just don’t seem appropriate for prospective employers to stumble across, but that doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of sharing them.
My husband wants to know if you consider blogging (and writing) a hobby or a calling? — sooboo’s husband
Writing in general is what I’ve based my career around as well as most of my hobbies. I can’t imagine a life where I don’t write, and specifically, where I don’t write in this kind of forum. Hearing back from the people reading my writing has become as important to me as the act of writing itself.
I want to know if you have names picked out for your new baby and if you plan to share those names with the world before the baby is born. — JMH
Yes, and yes. I’ll tell you when we find out the baby’s sex, in case we make any last-minute changes between now and then. If it’s a boy, the middle name will be Emmett, and if it’s a girl, Lee. Both are family names, so don’t go making fun.
I am 25 weeks pregnant and have thus far escaped without stretchmarks (touches wood). I noticed in your mean-looking abs picture, that you don’t seem to have any at all? Is this true, and if so, what, if anything did you do to prevent them? — Kym
Oh man, you just made me shed a little tear for the incipient abs that were there for about five minutes before all this pregnancy business happened. Anyway, I got really lucky the first time around, because I never had any stretch marks (although I have faint, older ones all over my hips and boobs from, presumably, my flourishing pre-teen years). I’ve heard this is hereditary and no amount of goo or cream can prevent them if you’re genetically meant to have them, but that won’t stop me from slathering Body Shop Body Butter on my belly when it starts getting ginormous, because what the hell, I did that last time.
What is your biggest worry/fear? — Eric’s Mommy
That I will die from a slow, debilitating illness, and that I will be a burden on my family in the process, and that I won’t get to see my children grow up.
Well! That’s depressing, isn’t it? Sorry. I’m also scared shitless of reaching over in the middle of the night to take a drink of water, only to discover (too late!) that a spider has fallen into my cup.
Do you think you’ll stop at two kids? — Jess
Yes. Yes I do.
Are you from the Seattle area originally (born & raised)? — Christina
No, I was born in Manassas, Virginia. My mother and I moved out to Corvallis, Oregon, when I was about 11, and other than a yearlong stint in Nevada, I’ve been in the Pacific Northwest ever since.
What do you consider your biggest success as parent. I mean, what do you totally rock at doing for/with Riley? — Erica
Oh boy. That’s a hard question. My biggest success. I don’t think I can point to such a thing, but all my memories of every good moment with Riley–every smile, laugh, squeal–add up to a feeling of success. If that makes sense.
Sundry Dad. I want to know. Did you know him? — Kendra
This entry explains that situation, pretty much in its entirety.
How did you learn to take such great pictures? — Megan
Well, that’s a damn nice thing to say. And honestly, the camera I use can let any fool take a great photo, because I don’t know a single thing about photography. F-what? White balance huh? I point and shoot, that’s it; and I rely quite heavily on Photoshop for post-processing. But thank you, all the same.
How the hell do I get more people to go to my own blog? — JennB
There are some great articles out there that specifically address this question, but I think in a nutshell the common blah-blah is: write because you love to do so, not because you’re hoping for an audience; comment on other people’s blogs, including your link when you do; update often; link to other people in the hopes they’ll return the favor. I think the first piece of advice is the best.
Trendy names vs main-stream names. Your thoughts, please. — Warcrygirl
I like both, really. I mean, there are some cute trendy names out there. For instance, Riley. Oh wait, that’s only trendy for girls? Please don’t tell JB.
Do you plan to write a book at some point in your life? — Stephanie
I don’t know. It used to be a dream of mine, but when I start asking myself what I hoped to get out of doing so, it had nothing to do with personal fulfillment and more to do with validation. I’m not sure that’s a good reason to put forth the kind of effort a book requires. If someday I start thinking of a book I really want to write, I hope like hell I’ll have the balls to make it happen.
What is your most embarrassing childhood moment? — One Smart Cookie
Once, I barfed outside of a Toys R Us. I have never, ever forgotten it.
What parts of your teenage past would you undo, if you could? — Kim
All the parts that hurt my family, namely my mother and my grandparents. It crushes my heart to remember how I treated them, how utterly selfish I was and how immature. How I wish my grandparents could see me now, just for a moment, to know I turned out okay after all, and to see their beautiful great-grandson.
Who do you think would win if both were equally equipped with nunchucks and viking helmets? Cat, or a house spider? — Karamarie
Oh, Cat. Definitely. I mean, the giant house spider is a fucking horrorshow, but a cat would throw down and win, even without the weaponry. Because cats are pure evil. Well, 90% evil and 10% lard:
All right, that’s all for now because oy, my carpal tunnel. I’ll answer the rest in the next day or so. Thanks for asking these questions, because I’m enjoying answering them.
Aug
21
August 21, 2007
I think the best thing about exposing my young son to the flickering, brain-rotting glow of television is the fact that he will often curl into my arms and lay on me like a warm puppy while Blue’s Clues is on, and since he’s distracted and comfy I can basically maul him all I want: snorfling around in his hair, feeling his dimply elbows, and counting each smelly little toddler-toe by feel. Oh, I know, you totally thought I was going to say my favorite part was the stand-in parenting aspect, where I can park him in front of the tube and run off to surf the web! Well that’s the second best thing.
I know I already updated this thing today, and two blog posts in one day is probably enough to make you wonder if the author is perhaps in need of an intervention, or at least a to-do list of productive activities such as tackling the giant mound of laundry lurking in the utility room, but although it may not be obvious right now, I am being productive: I am totally avoiding a freelance project that requires the use of far too many exclamation points for my comfort. It’s so! Relentlessly! Perky! that I had to escape, typing-wise, to this little oasis where I can use words like dicktowel and assbiscuit (random: TextEdit suggests ass-biscuit instead) all I want.
Plus, JB’s out of town and the boy is asleep and I’m bored. Hey, guess what I had for dinner tonight? A bowl of microwaved mashed potatoes, Deli Rye Triscuits, and swiss cheese slices. My nutrition has officially left the building.
I talked with JB earlier and he told me that during his United flight (he’s in the Chicago area for a few days) they offered a meal service, but you had to pay for it. It sounds as though they basically fed him an adult-sized Lunchables for about eight bucks.
Man, air travel is just sucking more and more these days, isn’t it? We’re planning a mini adults-only vacation in October and at first I was thinking tropical sandy beaches, until it occurred to me that any potential tropical sandy beaches would require getting on a plane, and oh man fuck that. The lines, the delays, the inability to pack a useful amount of hair conditioner without having a bored security worker confiscate the bottle, the relentless discomfort and crappiness of it all, fooey. We’re doing a road trip instead, to Tofino, where the beaches might not be tropical but they sure look pretty.
Topic change! I love this idea of Swistle’s, because I don’t believe she’s ever shared any photos of herself and I imagine it’s utterly fascinating to read what people are guessing. I can’t rip off her entry completely, because you guys already know what I look like (about yea high, currently sort of bulgy-shaped), but in a somewhat related vein I thought a Q&A might be at least marginally fun.
If you want to play, ask me one question—as nosy as you like, although I reserve the right to be squirrelly about answering if I think it’s a bad idea (examples would include: “Linda, have you ever spent, like, a whole afternoon flaking off work and surfing kitchen nook furniture suggested by your uber-cool readers?” because I HAVE NO OFFICIAL STATEMENT AT THIS TIME)—in the comments, and I’ll post my answers in the next day or so.
Yes, this game is probably more fun for me than it is for you. What can I say, I’m a giver.
** Updated: you guys asked so many interesting questions, and I think I’m really going to enjoy answering them. I’m closing comments now, just so the number of questions remains doable. Thanks, guys! **
-
My product review site:
[