May 8, 2006

JB is threatening to rescind his good-sportedness if I don’t get that goddamn photo off the front of my website, so without further ado, yay to Kirsten who left the very first comment – you got yourself a new pair of jeans, missy. Most of you had some pretty damn funny captions, but I had to go with the Goonies quote.


A few months ago JB and I booked a weekend trip to Las Vegas, scheduled for this coming weekend. Each year we try and do a vacation for our anniversary; we’ve done a cruise, visited Phuket, and last year, a trip to Hawaii. We knew we couldn’t spend as much money or time on this year’s getaway, but three nights in Las Vegas sounded pretty good.

It might sound like a weird destination since we don’t drink or gamble, but it’ll be hot and sunny and of course there’s all kinds of entertainment: shows, restaurants, shopping, and just watching the world walk by. I talked JB into making reservations at Mandalay, since I wanted to loll at their poolside and play in that crazy wave-beach. I wanted to check out the shark exhibit again, eat at the House of Blues, motor up to Caesar’s for the goofy Race to Atlantis “ride” I love beyond all reason, go to Hamada for sushi, take pictures of the Bellagio conservatory, and maybe even rent a car to drive through Red Rock Canyon.

I have had this vacation on my mind for weeks and weeks, and even made sure I had a swimsuit that actually fit.

If you would have told me back in January that five days before our flights were to depart Seattle – five days before I had the chance to sleep in, to eat fancy dinners in nice clothing, to hang out with JB without interruption – we would collectively decide to cancel all of it because we didn’t want to be away from Riley? I would have laughed until I peed right down into my shoe.

So…yeah. That’s exactly what we did: cancelled everything.

Part of me thinks we’re being stupid as all hell. This was a chance to set aside our parental responsibilities for a few schedule-free days of pure selfishness, and hang out as husband and wife and not just charter members of Team Riley. There were going to be sunburns, and virgin daiquiris, and playing Spot the Guy Here For a Tradeshow Who Just Bought His First Hooker. There was going to be staying up past 10 PM.

I swear I would have leaped at the chance a few months ago – I would have clicked my heels, thrust our precious child in the arms of whoever happened to be standing nearby, and made a fucking beeline for that plane. It’s not that I loved him any differently than I do now, it’s not even that he was more difficult or challenging. It’s that he is so incredibly plugged in right now; he’s so curious and aware and fascinated. He’s wonderful to watch, but he’s also watching us. He’s so much more aware of everything, and leaving him for three days just seemed…ah, I don’t know. It seemed fucked up. We felt fucked up about it.

Instead of the Vegas trip, we’re going to drive to Port Angeles, get Riley settled with my family, and take a ferry to Victoria. We’re going to stay one night at the foofy Empress hotel in a harborview room, order room service, swim in the hotel’s pool, cruise around Victoria, and then come back.

It seems like a good compromise.

It’s funny, though. So many of the changes we’ve had to adjust to since Riley’s birth are sort of forced upon us: waking up at 6 AM, say, or never going out to movies, or taking two weeks to read a 200-page novel. I’m a little sad that the timing isn’t right for us to take the original vacation, but I’m also weirdly reassured that even when we’re given the option to put all the tiresome parenting stuff aside for a little while, we’re on the same page, we choose the same thing.

And hey, Vegas isn’t going anywhere. Next time, baby.




24 Responses to “Planning changes, changing plans”

  1. Teri M. on May 8th, 2006 11:01 pm

    (I am unduly gleeful at being the first to comment! My incessant blog checking has paid off.) Isn’t it great to know that you’ll never regret missing out on a little R&R, but you would regret it if your brilliant offspring discovered or did something wonderful in your absence? And you’re right, Las Vegas is, like, the cockroach of the West. It ain’t goin’ anywhere.

    And I could just eat that child with a spoon!

  2. Jem on May 9th, 2006 4:15 am

    You people who commented on the jeans thing are brilliant. I couldn’t come up with ANYTHING. *sigh*

  3. Joanne on May 9th, 2006 4:30 am

    My husband and I planned a trip to New Orleans when our baby was like a month old, we were supposed to go when he was around seven months old. As the time got closer and closer, I just knew there was no way I could get on a plane and leave him, even for a long weekend. We ended up having my mother in law come and stay with us and we just went away overnight, too, and it worked out much better. It’s amazing what you think you’ll be able to do, and how much that changes in just a few months. Or days!

  4. Stephanie on May 9th, 2006 4:58 am

    If you left Riley and flew to Vegas, you’d just talk about him the ENTIRE trip! Plan B sounds perfect.

  5. Sarah on May 9th, 2006 5:09 am

    The Empress hotel is way better than Vegas. It’s win-win all around, obviously. Have a fun time!

  6. ang on May 9th, 2006 6:12 am

    I, too, have a Vegas trip planned for my anniversary. (10 year, not 5) and our little girl is 8 now. We *still* hate to leave her, but it’s actually good for us all the way around. Chloe gets a little time away from her uber-strict parents (sarcasm) and it honestly helps us to be better parents. When she’s not with us, we miss her so much, that coming home and spending time together becomes a treat. Also, I believe that children whose parents aren’t afraid to go and have a little us time end up exponentially more social and un-clingy. Just basing this on my rug rat. She doesn’t have a shy bone in her body and I’ll dump on whichever Grandparent first notices the stress-induced crazy eyes I’ve been making lately.

  7. Kelly on May 9th, 2006 6:27 am

    I know exactly how you feel! We did the same thing with our son and vacation plans last year (when he was just under a year) and had determined to go away this year and…guess what? Not likely to happen. Best we’re figuring is a weekend at a B&B and even then we’ll be thinking/talking about him a lot of the time. They’re wonderful, the offspring of your heart, and you hate the thought of missing anything because even now when they’ve only been with you a short while it goes so fast and it’s so fascinating and wonderful to experience them. :)

  8. omuchacha on May 9th, 2006 6:32 am

    Isn’t it funny how once the spawn, erm child arrives you find yourself doing things you never thought you’d do? Like refuse to leave them for a while? It’s like some force comes over you and despite how lovely you think it’d be as an adult, you have to think about what’s best for the kiddo and sometimes it isn’t always what you would have thought even ten minutes before.

    I’m not saying I can’t leave my 6 month old – but I’ve been surprised at the times I’ve been planning to leave him to go ride my horse or go to a hockey game and thought it might be better if he got some quality mommy time instead. (I work full time, so time together is precious.) I never thought I’d be one of those parents who skip stuff for the kids. Ever.

    I am planning on handing him off to daddy next weekend when I go to my next horse show for three nights… good luck daddy!

  9. Pete on May 9th, 2006 7:54 am

    Welcome to my world. The last time we were in Vegas was 9 years ago when my wife was pregnant with our youngest (fun times). Since we don’t have family close we don’t get out much. A Saturday night at the beach runs about $600 after tax, title, and license. The up side is my kids are old enough to enjoy road trips. We are taking 3 weeks and RV’ing to Washington DC this summer (we live in California) via I-10 and coming back via I-90. I have the kids searching on-line for places to see along the way.

  10. Shannon on May 9th, 2006 7:56 am

    We cancelled our entire honeymoon (yes, baby before marrieage GASP!) and instead spent two nights at the Alderbrook Hotel (you guys would probably really like it…french press coffee in your room). We took the trip to Belize about six months later and totally enjoyed it. Having the father-in-law’s satellite phone helped, too. Have a great time in Victoria. The Empress is beautiful and quite swanky!

  11. dorrie on May 9th, 2006 8:24 am

    wise move, grasshopper. You would have instantly regretted being in Vegas—sober! feeling the way you do. It will most certainly be there in it’s seedy glory when you (all three of you!) are ready for it…

  12. jen on May 9th, 2006 8:24 am

    Remember to do all the touristy crap you can – there are like 15 attractions within walking distance. And High Tea – don’t forget to do high tea!

  13. bee on May 9th, 2006 9:21 am

    Hee. I read that “Red Cock Canyon” at first. Yeah, you did the right thing if it feels right. We’ve been hauling our little spawn around in car trips since she was a few months old. She’s a pretty good travellor, and I really think she makes holiday more fun. I still pack her off to her grandparents about once a month, though! Well, that was coherent and relevent, wasn’t it! tirrah!

  14. Liz on May 9th, 2006 10:31 am

    We planned to go to Rome for 10 days when Lilia is 10 months old. I was already dreading it because I didn’t want to leave her for sooooo loooooooong. It ended up being too much money, though, so we’re going to do something shorter and closer to home.

  15. pippa on May 9th, 2006 10:37 am

    We were definitely like that with Beanie. Sad and scared to leave her for any length of time.

    Now? I’ll pay you to take my kids for a week. Any week. They are cute, and most can feed themselves.

  16. telegirl on May 9th, 2006 10:48 am

    God help me! I already do this with the dogs; I make plans (evenings out or even week-long trips) so that they can be with us. I think I’m going to need some serious therapy when the hubby and I finally have kids. :o)

  17. Dangerous on May 9th, 2006 11:27 am

    If I had a little punkin with edible cheeks like that, I would totally skip out on Vegas too. Besides who needs the hooker brochures when you have got those earlobes to nibble on.

  18. warcrygirl on May 9th, 2006 11:47 am

    Oh how I love a sleeping baby. There’s something so sweet about it, like if you got close enough and breathed deeply enough you could absorb some of that sweetness. I knew the Goonies quote was going to win it. Does is hurt JB when his one eye goes in a different direction from the other eye? Just curious. Save that Vegas trip for when Riley is walking, talking and tearing up the house; you’ll both need it then.

  19. Kirsten on May 9th, 2006 1:46 pm

    WHOA! I can’t believe it…out of all those other captions? Thanks to Warcrygirl for the head’s up.

    And yes, I can imagine there are probably a million other parents who have done the same thing. I have a hard time just leaving our pets – a baby is a whole other story…you don’t want to miss out on anything! But I also agree that once he’s “mobile” you might find it as a welcome break :)

  20. MRW on May 9th, 2006 1:52 pm

    Count me in as one of those parents too. My husband and I didn’t go away even for the week-end until my son was 14 months old. We have tons of family dying to take him, we just couldn’t make ourselves. Even then we left Friday night after we put him down and got back early on Sunday. Now that he’s three we’ve managed to actually leave on Friday AFTERNOON and then come back early on Sunday. My former un-childed self is so embarrassed I’ve become one of THOSE people.

  21. Donna on May 9th, 2006 2:30 pm

    Dude, we just got back on wed from Vegas, we stayed at the Mandalay bay, (I love the lazy river), and all of Vegas was full of dorks on convention trips.
    We didn’t win not even a dime gambling.
    We did see the blue man group at the Venetian, I bought a Dooney and Burke purse there, and shopped the Sapphora store which is like the holy grail of makeup stores, and ate at the Rainforest cafe at MGM where I also bought a bunch of frog things, and opened two oysters and got pearls, a pink one set in a ring, and a creme one set in a matching necklace at the pearl factory. I went swimmin at the lazy river, cold still, and hung out in the baby pool with my grandson who came for the day, (he lives there), and the highlight of the trip? $400+ worth of spa stuff at Mandalay Bay’s spa, where all the trophy wives of the conventioneers were.
    You aren’t missing anything but the shopping. But you could be missing something cool from baby boy. I can’t blame you a bit, and trust me, it was fun, but it will still be there. Too bad we don’t know each other in real life, I woulda babysat, and you coulda brought him with you!

  22. Annie on May 9th, 2006 8:52 pm

    Who could leave that face? Not I. Enjoy your evening out.

  23. MommyMaki on May 9th, 2006 10:07 pm

    I totally understand. As they get older, it gets harder. He really is a cute little guy.

  24. Jeffrey Jackson on January 14th, 2007 2:20 am

    Google is the best search engine

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