May
8
Well, the thing about promising that you will post some kind of contest (see prior entry) in order to give away a pair of jeans is this: you have to actually think of a contest. Plus, you get people all up in your grill about how they could use a free pair of jeans, HELLO, what are they, chopped liver? And you have to be all, girl you be the finest chopped liver I know, you’re some a that creamy foie gras shit, but I still got to post this contest.
I asked JB to help me come up with a contest idea that didn’t involve trivia, google searching, or being online at precisely whatever-the-hell-thirty, and he said “Well, why don’t you do like Maxim and ask people to caption a photo.” I said that sounded fine to me, but what kind of photo?
He shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
So I thought of this one:
Heh.
Okay then! If you want to be in the running for a pair of Cruel Girl Bailey jeans, size 13, then post your best caption idea in the comments section. Contest is over when I say so. Winner is picked by me, using whatever the hell criteria I want. Don’t forget to include your email info.
I would close this entry with a baby picture as usual, but just for right now I think we should, ahhhh, avoid considering any visible family resemblance.
Comments
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My product review site:
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“Sloth. Loves. Chunk! aaaaarrrrrrrgggghhh”
or
“It’s stuck….dammit, Mom was right!”
I’ll never get my fat ass into a size 13 (at this moment, mind you) but I want to play anyway:
Riley eventually learns to pull himself into a standing position using whatever is handy to grab onto at the moment. Much to JB’s dismay.
That caption up there made me glad that those jeans wouldn’t fit me, because, Lord, I’d never be able to think of a better one after reading that! However, I submit:
In true Jim Bob style, the last words he ever spoke were, “Hey, Ma! Watch this!”
How about….
“That new product isn’t just warming…it’s mfing HOT! Get it OFF ME!”
“While his lovely parents sat enjoying a simple, yet healthy meal at the dinner table, Riley enjoyed the freedom of crawling free range across the dining room floor. He looked up, and there in his father’s lap was an interesting new toy. He reached up and grasped it in his surprisingly strong hand. Suddenly, his father made a rather strangled noise and pulled a face.”
Or simply,
“Yoink!”
“Honey, I know you hate it when I sneak around trying on your clothes, but I think I just may have a little, uhhh, zipper emergency with your new hot jeans. Save me so we can make sure Riley gets a little brother some day!”
ps the jeans just might fit me! bonus points!
Cat! That is NOT a mouse!!
Daughter: “Mama, what’s wrong with that man’s face?”
Mother: “Well dear, that’s what we call “inbred.” Now don’t stare too long, you know you don’t like it.”
Not so funny, but I have to try! :)
And Sundry manages to catch the moment JB’s extra-strength laxative kicks in.
Ooga Booga!
Wife… took… my… guns! And tools!
“My name is Gump, Forrest Gump”
No tv and no beer make JB go krrraaazzzzeeeeee.
Sundry is finally testing out that spray-on lube, and JB didn’t see it coming. Perhaps this is his first time?
“Oh…my…God…there is a screwdriver stuck between my shoulder blades!”
(ha ha…I’m sorry, every time I see a seagull now I think of that story!)
Further proof that the water system in the Coos County area needs to be tested for imbalances.
or
Uncle Dad, is that you?
JB’s sense of smell was never the same after that fateful day that Dog got into the litterbox and ate cat shit, producing the most god awful farts known to man.
“You posted WHICH picture of my naked ass of your website?”
“I….can….almost….see….wait….yeah…..that’s my brain…”
Follow my finger….with both eyes.
JB is perplexed by the discovery of his frontal lobe.
When asked to comment, the suspect would only say, “Chomp! Chomp! Ba chooey chomp!”
What do you mean I have a Dirty Sanchez under my nose?
BEST…..BLOWJOB……….EVER………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Beware of Dog”
“…Extreme Downsyndrome”
-Dillon
Just for kicks… (b/c there will be no size 13 wearing for me anytime in the near future)
I asked my 4 year old daughter what she thought when she saw this picutre! he he he
She said “Halloween!”
And Donna… woah boy… that is funny!
“Meet the new Whitehouse Press Secretary”
or
“Dick Cheney’s love child”
“Riley, go get Daddy’s medication. It’s time to up his dosage.”
“No! Don’t look at me! I’m…fabulous!”
(no pantalones for me, either, I just wanted to play!)
(obscure, maybe?)
“Respect the bicuspids, tame the incisors!”
Laurabelle– HILARIOUS! These are all sooo good. I don’t envy you, Sundry.
Mine (though it’s not all that good, and I don’t really need the jeans anyway):
“HULK ANGRY!!!”
And behold, the wind had changed, and he was stuck that way!
“I understand why you want the lights off when we make love honey, but I still don’t understand the bag overy my head …..”
size 13 is a dream (nice to hang them on the fridge to taunt myself with), but what the hell, gotta play :)
Only someone who grew up in the 80’s and loved O Henry’s would understand this caption:
“It’s that big chunk…of FUUUUUUDGE!!”
Now all you have to do is put him on a teeter-totter and a leather thong and you’re set!!!
my caption?
“DANG! See what happen’s when you GIT-R-Done!”
for some reason, the photo makes me think he could be larry the cableguy’s half-retarded step-cousin.
Not playing, but maybe the lube would help with the zipper emergency of #VI….