Lately, JB has been fucking with his coworkers using the ingenious Annoy-a-tron. I think he’s gone through four at this point, stealthily sneaking into his friends’ offices and planting the device, then sitting back and chortling evilly as they go crazy tearing apart their stuff trying to figure out what in the hell that noise is.

On Wednesday, he received word that one of his coworkers had freaked out a little over the mysterious noise and called security. The next thing JB knew, he had an appointment with HR to “discuss the matter”.

He talked with his boss, incredulous that anyone would take a joke so seriously. His boss sighed, looked him in the eye, and said, “Well, would you have put one of these on an airplane?” While JB spluttered, she shook her head and told him that security at such a large corporation was a very serious matter indeed.

JB stewed all day long over this impending HR appointment, which he tried to reschedule (since it conflicted with another meeting), and got this in response: “Sorry. It’s very important that we keep this meeting, so we can discuss next steps.”

Next steps?

He finally showed up for the 3 PM meeting, only to find a note on her door: “I’m running late. Please wait.” A manager with an office nearby walked by to tell JB that she really needed him to wait, because it was very important that she talk with him. “I GET IT,” said JB, who I can only imagine was ready to gnaw through sheet rock at this point.

Then, a few minutes later . . . a bunch of his Annoy-a-tron’d coworkers came running up to slap their knees, bray with hysterical laughter, and tell him it was all a setup. “Dude, your face!” they howled, and JB sat there, dumbstruck by the power of What Goes Around Comes Around.

Karma’s a bitch, ain’t she?


In other news, we are going to be doing some mad packing tonight in order to leave town tomorrow for Bend, where we’re staying for the weekend. It’s kind of a birthday-related getaway, since yours truly will be a whopping 33 on Monday (side note: JB was going to wrap some presents for me last night, and came to me to ask where the gift wrap was. “‘The’ gift wrap?” I said. “Um, at the store? In the gift wrap aisle?” We eventually found some old Christmas wrapping, but COME ON), although let’s be real, since we’re bring the boy it’s not so much of a “getaway” as it is “traveling with a very active toddler”. We’ll all be slugging the Children’s Benadryl by hour five, I’m sure.

And what about you? What do you have planned for the weekend ahead?


75 Responses to “Karma and weekend travel”

  1. jen on February 15th, 2007 7:43 pm

    omg. hahah. thats HILARIOUS!

  2. Nancy on February 15th, 2007 8:12 pm

    I have never answered this question before because my answer was always, um hang out and stuff, and maybe do some laundry and grocery shop. But this weekend, my cousin is coming to visit, we might go salsa dancing on saturday, I might make a big turkey dinner on Sunday for as many people as I can convince to come to my apartment. And, I even have off for a president’s b-day on Monday and I am going to see a caberet type thing because my friend is the musical director. Now I am wondering if any of this will actually happen.

  3. Melanie on February 15th, 2007 8:54 pm

    I love that! I wish I worked someplace that fun.
    This weekend, I have no plans yet. Why didn’t you ask last weekend when I had a pretend life???

  4. kara marie on February 15th, 2007 9:33 pm

    I’m just hoping to paint.

    Hoping you have a super fun trip, and happy birthday!

  5. caley on February 15th, 2007 10:22 pm

    I’m finally delurking- I’ve been reading your blog for several months and I love it! Partly because I have a son close in age to yours (he’s 20 months) and can relate, and partly because you’re such a good writer and so funny.

    My plans: the husband was supposed to be leaving on a trip for work tomorrow, but that’s cancelled. So, yay, I don’t have to be a single mom for a week… but boo, I can’t call Doritos and Little Debbie heart cake thingies dinner. A friend has offered us her free babysitting services Friday night, so I may force my husband into taking me to see Music & Lyrics. That’ll probably be the highlight of the weekend, the rest of it being spent mostly cleaning, watching saved up, downloaded episodes of Heroes, Rome, and American Idol, and maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get to go grocery shopping BY MYSELF.

  6. Julie on February 15th, 2007 11:37 pm

    Well really, after reading all these posts I’m quite curious to know how Caitlin makes out with the whole Burlesque dancing thing for the first time. Geez, the pressure, the things you have to think about – post another comment to let us know how it went, won’t you Caitlin? And in the meantime, good luck!!

    Sundry, happy birthday. I can honestly say, it only gets better. The “thirties” decade, overall, is empowering and a great place to be to realize where you came from, what you got and what you can do. The good thing about the 40’s is that you by then have the confidence, tools. credibility and crows feet to actually pull it off! Enjoy every moment of your birthday – I hope the sun shines for you!

    As for us, well, my girls have a professional day from school tomorrow, so I booked the day off and we 3 chix are heading to nana and grampa’s for a sleepover, complete with glo stick earrings and the whole 9 yards. We plan to go see Dreamgirls after supper and just hang out. Soccer all day Sunday, as per usual.

    Happy weekend to all!

  7. Jennifer on February 16th, 2007 12:47 am

    Happy Birthday!

    The Walrus is working all weekend so I need to ferret out some friends to do something with or I’ll just wind up drinking mimosas and watching the “Good Times” marathon on tvland. Sigh. Have a wonderful weekend away!

  8. stan on February 16th, 2007 6:58 am

    Been busy this week, so a quiet weekend hopefully. Should involve putting together a bathroom cabinet for my son’s bathroom and a couple of games of televised cup football (sorry, that’s soccer for you Americans).

  9. Leigha on February 16th, 2007 7:17 am

    We are celebrating Valentine’s day this weekend, seeing as it was on an inconvenient Wednesday this year (who can manage to go out during the week?). The in-laws are taking Bryan for a few hours, and we will escape to The Melting Pot for fondue and a little adult conversation. Other than that, the weekend will be spent battling a Toddler Virus that has taken my generally loving little boy and turned him into a complaining, snot-ridden monster. Luckily, my in-laws are not aware that he has two ear infections and a nasty head cold, so they won’t have an opportunity to “reschedule”.

  10. Sadie on February 16th, 2007 9:02 am

    Happy Birthday Linda!
    You share a birthday with my younger brother, but he will be *23* Monday. Bastard. So, my weekend plans include driving with my (divorced) parents for an hour and a half each way to Stamford CT, for a birthday dinner with my brother. I imagine that drive will only be slightly less cringeworthy than a ride of the same duration with a squalling toddler. I am thinking of loading my CD changer with Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics hiphop CDs and keeping the volume high for all 95 miles. (I got the new Jay-Z, I wonder if my mom will like “30’s the New 20” as much as I do.)

  11. Rae on February 16th, 2007 10:51 am

    nice HR move!

    I’ll be spending the weekend in my usual haunt – a cold, dark theater. This time rehearsing the last scene yet again before we drop script and following it up with a FUN six hour change over call. Joy of joys.

    But first, tonight, we’re going to break out the new album and go nuts.

  12. Beekeebear on February 16th, 2007 10:54 am

    I am practically snowbound in Upstate New York. Not as bad as some places, but I’ve been instructed by work to telecommute for the past three days. So there is absolutely nothin’ doin’ this weekend, besides maybe one grocery trip and lots of stayin’ home & keepin’ warm!

    Oh, and also homework (part-time grad student). Old Enlish!! YAY!!! (Sarcasm much?)

  13. life&times on February 16th, 2007 12:46 pm

    Well, apparently, my plans now include buying an annoy-a-tron and using it on my husband. Thanks for the idea!

  14. Em on February 16th, 2007 1:04 pm

    That is the best practical joke, like EVER!! I want to work with his co-workers.

  15. Kelsey on February 16th, 2007 1:16 pm

    I think it will finally be warm enough here to actually take the kid out to play in all the snow we’ve gotten!

  16. The Narcissist on February 16th, 2007 2:26 pm

    That’s the best comeback ever.

    This weekend, I’m applying for jobs…Why? Cause mine sucks. Any advice for a fellow Bellevuevian?

  17. Lisa Ann on February 16th, 2007 3:13 pm

    I would like to stalk — oops I mean accidentelly run into — my HS sweetheart this weekend but don’t think that’s going to happen. What IS going to happen is I finally will be getting rid of the gray in my hair this weekend. Yeah!!

    Happy Birthday Linda. Thanks for the laughs & for sharing your adorable son (and husband) with us.

  18. Stephanie on February 16th, 2007 3:22 pm

    Woot! I’m celebrating my borthday too, except mine is on Tuesday! Other than that, I’m just going to lay back and recover from the freak snow storm we had here in the northeast. (It IS a freak snow storm too-since we haven’t had more than 2″ all winter. I’ve been having this argument with everyone.)

    Also?! Happy Birthday!

  19. Emblita on February 16th, 2007 4:38 pm

    Hahhahahahahahaaahahha oh what fantastic payback! Poor JB, he must have been totally freaked out!

    Happy Birthday Linda! I hope whats on the inside of that old wrapping paper is good :p

    As for weekend plans- I’ll be putting in new flooring at our new apartment. Yeah!

  20. lee on February 16th, 2007 10:56 pm

    someone gave me an annoy-a-tron. i finally used it when my flaming homo boss got his own office at work…and the last day he was my manager. his ex-lover worked in the office with us and was in cahoots with me.

    once the chirping started his first day in his new office, the gay ex-boss kept running to the guy who had just vacated the office and asking him about the chirping or the alarm or the whatever the fuck it was that was driving him insane. i think a memo was probably sent to HR documenting his odd outbursts.

    he was on the verge of being psychotic 2 weeks later when i asked his lover remove it for me. i would see him every once in a while stick his head out the door and look side to side down the hall very intently, as if he were listening for something he thought he heard. i silently laughed at him so hard one day i peed on myself. his ex-lover would look at me once in a while and wink, so i was glad to have a prtner in crime.

    i found out later he stuck the anny-a-tron behind a mirror frame in a dressing room at a (gay) men’s clothing shop.

    the anoy-a-tron is some strong voodoo in the wrong hands.

  21. Sonia on February 17th, 2007 10:25 pm

    Candle party Saturday evening (it was fun-ish) with my 6 year old because my husband was working. Spending Sunday taking down my son’s VERY cool, but now too small, fire engine toddler bed, mucking out his room, and re-organizing it around his new bed.

    I think I’m sad to see the fire engine toddler bed go…not so much because it’s another step away from babyhood, but because it is SO CUTE!

    JB’s co-workers getting him back? Pretty damn funny!

    Happy Birthday on Monday!

  22. Kurt on February 18th, 2007 6:07 pm

    Ha! Love it!

    We played a crushed iPod prank on one of our co-workers and she’s yet to get us back… I happened to spot a silver iPod Mini on the side of the road, obviously run over. It was a model identical to the co-worker’s. So we swiped her good one, then told the front desk person to send a company-wide email saying an iPod was found in the parking lot and if someone lost it to come down and describe it. Well, it went better than we could have hoped. Now we’re just waiting for payback.

  23. Misti on February 19th, 2007 1:11 pm

    Well the weekend is over and I’m back at work, but if you have DVR or can watch it tonight, my FAVORITE show in the world comes on CBS at 8/7 central. It’s How I Met Your Mother and I absolutely love it! It makes Monday bearable. Happy Birthday, by the way!

  24. Stephanie on February 19th, 2007 7:29 pm

    Were you and JB in the REI in Bend on Sunday at around 12:30? If you weren’t, you have exact twins. My husband and I were in Black Butte over the weekend and went into Bend on Sunday. As we were going up the stairs, I would swear it was you and JB going down, sans Riley.

    Oh, and happy birthday!

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